Just been playing with Oliver and he’s so tired it looks like a crime scene. I’ve just nearly choked laughing. #catsoftwitter #cats #catsontwitter

Just woke up. Naps are the best but they’d be even better if all the time I spent asleep was subtracted from my age. In which case I’d be -23.

@Bogota_Bracelet

@TCEmmaSavage You could do a brand deal and give away a set with every holiday booked Emma. Synergy.

@Ames20024 I wouldn’t want to provide unrealistic expectations with my perfectly sculptured gams.

@Tig_gordon You can’t put a price on time Tig. Except clocks and watches.

@KingDugg Ha!

@JKell_74 You are invited but bring your own quilt as I’m using every square inch of mine in about an hour.

@sleathing2n I get this but it’s usually a 25 year old joiner blasting radio 1 on a huge fuckin makita site radio. I try to live and let live, but I have lines and they get told to fuck off.

@samantha_p13503 Maybe it’s about time we started.

@Orcinus68 What a day for the lad that was. Living the dream!

Slept like a baby last night. By that I mean I didn’t shit myself, but I did wake up 43 times, in varying degrees due to cat activity and inability to actually sleep of my own accord. Still least it’s not fucking Monday or anything right. Right?

@septicpeg7 Putting the cor in cordyceps.

@septicpeg7 There’s a lot of scope for mushroom innuendo

@dr_cheeky Ha. Nice try Harry.

@dr_cheeky This is how Harry would eat a kitkat. Case dismissed.

@clumsyoaf33 Me too. Safe word well in advance and a pillow behind the headboard.