purple pain
@raiobservations
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ethnically ambiguous english major, bad at alliteration
Joined April 2019
seeing batchmates and juniors from college get married at 24, 25, 26 while my progressive bengali mother is like listen if you even think about settling down before 32 people will think YOUR PARENTS are weirdos.
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whenever people say stuff like this i have to take a deep breath and remember they're envisioning that curly haired guy insta reels guy who knows every country's flag/capital and not, like, the average prelims attendee at nihil.
ppl that know a lot of niche trivia are so unbelievably attractive to me.
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made a room full of grown men grimace and cry by playing the teams call sound on my phone in the middle of a house party. mild psychological terrorism is a gift that keeps giving.
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being in ur mid-20s means u need to get really intentional about the kind of partner u want .for instance, the father of my children must not know what an e-lafda is and must be largely unaware of the existence of indian twitter's three main characters of the week.
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northie guy who calls everyone macha 🤝 tam guy who looks around the room proudly after inserting "bakchodi" into a sentence where it didn't belong.
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thinking back to Saarang'20 when my word games teammate looked at just the enum - 3,5,6 - for a cryptic clue for a famous novel, anagrammed superfast in his head, and asked me, hurriedly and innocently, "is there something called The Saggy Batter?".answer was The Great Gatsby.
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personally what I love about my 3 yrs in the humanities is that the girls who were scandalized by me saying "fuck" in 1st year now share "how to pleasure the clitoris" tutorials on social media while I've circled back to my nine-year old "only BAD girls talk to boys" self.
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funny how people hate quizzers this much lmao this lot is the kindest and the most helpful, they don’t treat you like an outsider in their club and def don’t harass you for your lack of knowing bounce-pounce, dries makes it quite safer than other qs & bhyi they’re really sweet.
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sobbing watching Premalu. nothing else has captured the specific emotional texture of what it was like being at dohss iitm between 2017 and 2019. (everyone was spiritually mallu and stewing in various stages of onesidelove).
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scariest b-school experience thus far: our econ prof saying to the whole class, without the faintest trace of irony, "y'all will all end up marrying each other. the dude you're looking at and thinking "what is wrong with this guy?"? that's your future husband".
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what level of racial profiling is it when u get asked "madam Social jaana hai na? chaliye Social" the moment u step outside hauz khas metro. and what about myself do i have to change to ensure it never happens again. .
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sry I'm a loser I love making finals after an intense prelims I love not making finals by a whisker I love the dejection of not pouncing on an answer I knew and wrote down I love the dawning schadenfreude of my teammates realising my workout that they dismissed was actually right.
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at qutub today TWO babies smiled at me and walked towards me in the span of TWO minutes. i avert my gaze when y'all do pretty privilege discourse but this. THIS to me is what it's all about.
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sent a ;) instead of a :) to a prof I'm TAing for, replies mein F likh dijiye.
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Three years of college and Cherene's company have confirmed this for me: the second most insulting thing you can say about a guy is "he looks like he used to MUN in school"; the most insulting thing, of course, is "he looks like he MUNs in college".
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nothing funny about ending a two-year probably-liked-each-other-but-were-both-losers-ship at the big age of 25 except that the other.person was even older (27). got so bad that at one point my best friend felt called to term us a "they won't, they won't" duo. .
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smugly forwarding my perfectly solved NYT Connections grid to the gc (with two 🥰s thrown in for good measure) on the one day everyone seems to be fucking it up. now THATTTT is the iitm qc wgc promise.
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just saw someone say that contemporary tamil music sounds eerily similar to Kpop because the two share linguistic roots dating back to ancient times. babe,,,,,, that's a really fancy explanation for what we poors just call unabashed plagiarism 😔.
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seeing someone carry a mokobara bag is like oh okay wowwww we have an algorithmic slop enjoyer w no interiority in our midst. i thought u were cute but now i think ur just a c*ns*lt*nt!!.
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agle saal Oktoberfest MELA Shalini Passi se set karwao yaar.
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just to be clear when i text u GIRLLLLL i mean it not in an appropriating-black-culture way but in the way tamil language playback singer and indian cinema rapper blaaze says it in loosu pennae.
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boosting morale in quarantine by remembering how a close friend kept up a joke about us fake-dating for >1 yr, only to text me the night before v-day saying "Bong can you get me chocolate, I'll get you rose" and walked a km to Phoenix to get one. only valid man, a true prince.
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hangovers but for the feeling you get when you stay up too late trying to power through an assignment and end up getting ~fuzzy term paper brain~ where words begin to dance and lift off the google doc like babies standing arms akimbo in front of funhouse mirrors.
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thinking the delhi heights pitchers are ass and diluted beyond what is morally permissible and then thirty minutes later going "bro im not a bong quizzer, im a quizzer who happens to be bengali bro, u can even be marwari and be a bong quizzer bro" while my friends stare blankly.
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adulting is doing nauseatingly scary things such as joining - and introducing oneself - on all-women whatsapp quizzing groups as the 255th person. i love living on the edge.
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raveeshcarpenter and filmeshkumar and now dhananjay - don't ever tell me hs dept alumni can't cook.
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all age discourse be damned, if i ever get married it will be to a man who vows to wake up at 7 AM everyday to turn the motor on and actually does it.
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@ the man who casually stole my ID card (rendering me unable to register for courses and eat at the mess for > a month last sem) and then sent me an insta follow request a month or so ago. hope you're alright king, pls don't kill me now that you have my number and blood type haha.
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feel like shit, just want to eat mess onion uthappam with pepper chicken and yell at Tejas while everyone looks on with panicked befuddlement once again.
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Just heard my voice on an NPTEL video and I'm excited to announce that as a preemptive apology to my non-existent future students and colleagues I am no longer going through with my lifelong academia dreams.
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breaking the glass ceiling (turning up to work each friday in a flowy dress designed by my mother and severely stretching my workplace's definition of "business" "casual").
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bro stop putting ur CAT percentile in ur linkedin bio ur scaring the hoes.
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everything i know about human psychology i have learnt from unfettered access to my friends' perverse likes, how dare u take this away from me.
This week we’re making Likes private for everyone to better protect your privacy. – You will still be able to see posts you have liked (but others cannot). – Like count and other metrics for your own posts will still show up under notifications. – You will no longer see who.
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so true! it's time to normalise women hating on these things too
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if ur an hs "success story" you inevitably.a)come from the kind of money three generations of my family collectively have never seen, and/or.b)could afford to take endless pittance-paying gigs after graduation, just for "experience". where do people like me go?.
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a sign that i have surrounded myself w only decent men: was bitching about how a dude kept "posting fits" on insta stories, to which my best friend, a fellow man, replied with total seriousness, "he has epilepsy?".
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Reason #3456789 why HS girl seniors are the best:."Hello, I like someone but don't know what to do about it"."Is it a guy?"."Yes"."Just eat your feelings, it'll be alright".The foresight, the maturity, the philanthropic streak.
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Absolute high point of my day wasn't even something *I* did: a friend valiantly gatecrashed Tanmay Bhat's livestream, got called " a fucking lowlife" and deactivated Facebook in anticipation of trolling by AIB minions. Only antidote so far to utensil-induced depression 😂.
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yes I have a personal style, yes it's called "dude are you mentally five, you need help dude, that's way too much yellow".
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brain has been exposed - and has failed to develop immunity - to the worst of careerist woke culture. how do I know?.read "PoC" as "point of contact" instead of "person of colour" on a stupid self-righteous rant, and it still made perfect sense.
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me: thinking of all possible creature comforts within my means my sister may need during her visit.sister, one foot still outside the door: lighter achhe?.
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in bschool i used the nervous energy from a crush on an annoying person to get reeeeally good at shitposting; now i can't fall asleep after a long day at work without subjecting my instagram followers to drivel like this:
once you realize that sexual energy is just energy that can be redirected to anything you feel so free. you can use it to write, to paint, to run, to fuel any project, the options are endless.
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one thing about being 19-24 in this day and age is that you will have a normal day, and then you will come across people from school or college debasing themselves for insta reels.
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not to shill for the representation police but my biggest gripe with Piku isn't Deepika's uniquely stilted portrayal of generic firebrand Bengali woman, it's the collective delusion on the makers' part that any Bengali woman can ever cross 5'5" in height.
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the type of countenance that makes cute gurdwara grandpas walk up to u on the sidewalk and offer u piping hot sooji halwa and the kind of never-done-a-day's-labour baby hands that burn instantly upon contact with said halwa.
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one thing bschool has taught me. if someone says they worked at "A Big Four Management Consulting Firm", they worked at the smallest of the four. .
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me: there's this team within my vertical that has a bit of a superiority complex because it mostly consults with NGOs and the dev sector; they think they're cooler than the rest of us.person who is no longer my friend as of last night: haan so like how you were in bschool.
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asked a man to marry me because he didn't know what a photo dump was.
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never ask a man his salary, a woman her age, and a dohss iitm girlie whether she is from LSR.
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my actual birthgiver mother: "ei Rai what is that red energy drink those rich kids keep drinking re. 'Pitbull', na?".
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as a person who hates INFPs and always gets INFP, I'm begging you to cancel MBTI. it means nothing and is ridiculously easy to game and all it does is give insufferable English majors a reason to marinate in their own neuroses.
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me on a late shoshthi night flight to kolkata: wow there are so many bengalis here.
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Must I turn my literary preferences into something productive like an internship? Is it not enough to simply read the same Sally Rooney story over and over again and take solace in the fact that snarky sad women are loved and loved deeply at that?.
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Now that Game of Thrones is over I feel like an eggshell of my former self because 82% of the appealing part of my personality was based on the fact that I hadn't seen a single episode of it in my 20 years.
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"Techie boys who are on Reddit and women who've had sex are completely the same, they always want you to know it"- @cherrysbirds.
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mid 30s man on the metro furiously avoiding eye contact with me after taking up the ladies' seat, GOOD FOR YOUUUU, GO OFF KING, TAKE UP SPACE ON HOSTILE PUBLIC INFRASTRUCTURE!! <3.
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My grandma at 21- daughter of refugees, married with a child, teaching full time. Me, approaching 21- has reservations about whether starting to listen to k/j/c-pop will be enough of a lifestyle change to damage the absent-minded bookish Bengali aesthetic I've curated in college.
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College is intellectually challenging only when I'm out at night walking and have to keep wondering whether it's raining water on my head or monkey shitpiss from the trees above; love being suspended in a state of never knowing for sure, v stimulating.
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@ityadityadi every subsequent word of this tweet is more concerning than the last and men who know all these words run the risk of being forever lonely nanba.
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all 'pop culture critique' now is liberal arts kids jargonizing a 2000-word essay like "Here's How The Princess Diaries Is Sexist: How I Internalised Misogyny From Reading A Globally Bestselling Series At The Tender-Ripe Age Of Seventeen". who asked? who cares?.
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no hateration towards god, but I just think it's funny how the semester that got cut short was the one where I'd successfully negotiated a switch from gentle mom (soft, lame, overlooked) to mean baby (bratty, cool, showered w attention) of my friend group 😤🙄.
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all the thinkfluencer girls want to talk about insta brainrot + social-media-driven-consumer-behaviour until it's time to DISCUSS how every last quick commerce platform in delhi ncr is out of grapes tonight - green, red, black, shine muscat, what have you. sour grapes? mayyyyyybe.
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HOW EVERY QUIZZER THINKS:.*accidentally learns that Ruth Prawer Jhabvala is the only person to have won both a Booker and an Oscar*.7 yr-old cousin:*sweetly walks into the room looking for me*.Me: stupid idiot she doesn't know Ruth Prawer Jhabvala is the only person to have won b.
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15 y/o girls talking about being in their "feminine energy". 25 y/o girls experimenting w botox and fillers. 25 y/o BOYS having OPINIONS on botox and fillers. STFU before i bash your heads together. READ A BOOK!!!! A FLYER!!!! ANYTHING BUT INSTA REELS.
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lol my villain origin story is the guy who scored exactly 10% less than me in ISC telling people he "chose" UC Berkeley Econ (20+ lpa at LEAST) upon not being accepted to any of the Ivies he applied to. wouldn't have made it to the lowest of Calcutta University colleges lol.
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best fake bf ever 🥺 and also only time I'm ever going to be happy about being at the receiving end of a years-long practical joke.
boosting morale in quarantine by remembering how a close friend kept up a joke about us fake-dating for >1 yr, only to text me the night before v-day saying "Bong can you get me chocolate, I'll get you rose" and walked a km to Phoenix to get one. only valid man, a true prince.
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Yeah you're smart and pretty but I'm the girl all the guys who are hitting on you text asking for insider info on profs and grading when they need to register for a mandatory humanities elective because they assume I'm too much of an ugly nerd to not help so who's winning here.
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going to overhaul entire personality to match the fairy lights i recently got for my room, so from now on only responding to ppl calling me aisha, or at least one of those cool ethnically ambiguous double-vowel names like riaa or something.
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too much discourse about youth-academia twitter's main character of the past couple days. sry but I just know them as the person who borrowed my bestie's fave scrunchie and didn't return ittttt.
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oh look someone took a video of the corridor outside my room when I need to pee at five in the morning.
Hundreds of hungry monkeys swarm across Thai street as 'rival gangs' fight over food after tourists who normally feed them stay away because of coronavirus
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please stop calling this unreadable drivel!!! this is obviously a stunning example of the case pedagogy used at india's harvard, iima.
Imagine a shop called Chandu ki Kulfi, famous for its rich, saffron Kulfi. It brings in fans in droves. Suddenly, people don’t like the kulfi any more. They find it gives them indigestion. Kulfi sales drop. And people are flocking to a new small shop called Chintu ice cream,.
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mild feelings of shame because whatever women put on twitter as things "men love" i have a deep and abiding passion for.
men love to go on google maps and see how far things are from each other.
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So apparently as a kid my sister used to think the Parle G girl was actually me as a baby and tbh that's a better compliment than anything a man has ever said to me.
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since 78% of my personality at any given point of time is the musician I'm listening to, this weekend I'm guitar-toting, fuckboi-faced, smooth-voiced, unjustifiably cocky female John Mayer circa 2006.
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have set not one, not two, not three, not four, but FIVE extremely normie -- yet kosher -- cryptic crossie clues this evening. would like to have a word with Camille Paglia ma'am about the time she said female genius was rare bordering on non-existent.
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hey bhagwan nitish ko palta do main pakka 28 tak shaadi kar lungi.
simply not vibing w the Tone of my dad's Voice these days when he says stuff like "28 is a Good Age. ,,,".
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delhi people are so QUICK to interpret my speaking in english as a status game. bro halfway thru the yellow line three weeks ago i realised i didn't know how to read devnagari anymore. since then i've put my time in. looped the new karan aujla ep at work. rly trying here.
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friend: i'll just quickly go pee da.muk: pee my guest da.friend: ur supposed to say go piss girl.siddhu, awakening from a deep slumber induced by air crash investing videos: go pee bahu.
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cousin i saw being born is now of the age where boys four years older are taking the liberty to text her. such is the predatory circle of life.
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ah yes delhi ncr, or as modern anthropologists like to call it, the coord set capital of india.
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who needs ecriture feminine when you have the untapped literary potential of juniors from college adding u 2 their finstas.makes me feel like a trusted russian honeypot on myspace circa 2007.
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thinking about how the strictly middle class girls from school are chasing social capital (attempting to become "influencers" on insta/tiktok) while the rich kids in college are building authenticity clout (thrifting, extolling the virtues of public transport and parks, etc).
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some of my most astute observations don't get to see the light of day because nothing scares me more than the classic "is this about me lol" reply/DM. but today i will go against the grain of conventional wisdom and say something truly incendiary: PLS GOD NO MORE SCORPIO MEN.
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dear friends if everyone "loves the smell of old books", who is "actually managing to read books"? am very curious and need answers urgently.
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Last week Tejas said Shania Twain anagrams to 'Want Aishani', this week he said he doesn't like Federer because he's probably a "sex fiend" (because who has four children ever). Sufficient grounds for friendship termination?.
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im in this picture and i love it.
quizzers from IITM.
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*narrator voice*: it was the moment that she saw her sister's classmate (F17) post a tiktok that had her biting her lips alongside the phrase "snacks i wanna taste in 2020. you" that aishani knew tumblr feminism and its encouragement of hypersexualization had gone too far.
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to be fair, he's one of the top ten smartest people I know. does that mean I won't cackle like mad everytime I remember this? no.
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TIL that when northies say "oh i didn't realise u were BENGALI, just thought u were born and brought up in Kolkata" it is meant to be a compliment??????.anyway i miss when i didn't understand the language of the racism being done2me.
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skill issue. i felt this way in a speeding car on a summer evening between darjeeling and siliguri the year i turned seventeen.
kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.
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will admit that it's a little funny how my first thought upon seeing this was ""co-led" isn't impactful enough, whole thing should be less wordy".
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