EEEEVIL CAT !!
@pidgeonlyving
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Following
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🔞 girlfailure, i mostly post about my thoughts and strange kinks 🔞
she/it, 21
Joined October 2023
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i can’t fix you. but if you ever want to take a 200 mg edible and pretend that you’re a plushie, i have a spot on my bed.
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out of nowhere your friend pulls out her smartphone and shows you a video. it’s of you pleading with her to stop while she forces you through the factory reset procedures. you don’t remember this. she swipes, showing you her album full of videos of you resetting yourself for her.
i bet getting factory reset to default settings feels *so* good for the robot
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@supremepoonani
i remember in high school i called a guy a bootlicker after i found out he wanted to be a cop. my friends hadn’t heard the insult before but they thought it was really funny so they started only referring to him as “bootlicker”
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some days i am stupid fucking robot. some days i am a little kitty cat. most of days i am both.
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@cubano_sucio
that’s when i blow him up with my lazer eyes and then go back to sucking on my drink with my proboscis
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@xildelphi
its gonna take like 30 minutes to figure out whether we’re fighting or making love and by the end of it all it won’t make much of a difference
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i kinda wanna try it/it’s, dont know if i can articulate fully why but mostly bc i’m kitty? nothings stopping me though so
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@ArtsThelen
god signalis and it’s fan work make me feel seen. this type of shit makes me feel like it’s ok to be the way i am
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@xildelphi
all cyberpunk now takes place in the vast lawns and parking lots of suburban america
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maintenance tech who thinks you have a bad cooling system because you get hopeless flustered around her. she insists on finding the issue and keeps calling you away from your duties to tinker with you.
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@nyetalia
wait hold on i had no idea about this this is exactly what i want i feel like i could cry
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you guys don’t even love me you just keep me around for my resentful pawjobs
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hrt is fun because sometimes i glance at the mirror and see girl and sometimes that illusion doesn’t go away when i do a double take. a girl staring at me, a girl staring at her.
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Sierra Nevada by Psychedelic Porn Crumpets is amazing, probably my favorite song off the new album, it’s super grungey, with the quiet/loud/quiet format and angsty riffs and lyrics, it’s unmistakably a psycho crumpets song though, the loosely tripled? solo into the verse is crazy
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we’ve upgraded your frame but the only tactile button on your new body is the power switch, and it makes a really satisfying click so people can’t help but fuck around with it a little
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@0xCAFEBEEF
some people seem to get offended by the concept of people smoking cigarettes. is it from the anti smoking stuff that was drilled into us as a kid? the fact it’s bad for your health? not liking the smell isn’t a real reason. i usually assume their dad got lung cancer or something.
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butch engineer who brags a bunch about her expensive CNC machine she has at home but when you visit she just has a bunch of power tools and a robot girl
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@gumbuzzler
kurt cobain’s way of getting vocal distortion where he would just tear his vocal chords apart instead of being normal genuinely adds a lot to his songs i think. an album that leaves someone coughing blood after they record it has got to be good
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“wehhh i’m such a stupid puppy” you’re a computer science major. take your fucking adderall and go do your job
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if i take a puppygirl home i should be allowed to rename it methinks
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when i worked at a bowling alley this guy came in and ordered like a billion shots of tito’s vodka and started really hyping up his tik tok page and all the money he makes from it. he gave us his username and it was nothing but “share or your mom dies” posts.
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her: thanks for coming ! you’re a true friend i know you’d do anything for me, but yeah i really someone to paint these walls with
me: you haven’t moved any of your furniture?
her: ur a true friend and i know you’ll do anything for me :)
me: is that a fucking shotgun
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there’s two types of deja vu: normal, and deja vu^2: when you get deja vu for a moment of deja vu
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outdated robot girl getting flustered bc it’s taking her a while to load a program in front of everyone. she tries to make a lame excuse but no one really buys it and she’s getting embarrassed about it now and she can’t focus on loading anything and they’re starting to laugh,,
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is it naive to hope for an end to your depression? am i stupid for thinking it’s not a part of me? is it dumb to think that i might wake up without my shadow one day ?
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i can scrape the caked up layers of jealously off the walls all i want but i’m pretty sure it’s just envy all the way down. i am nothing if not jealous of you.
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the thing that finally made my friend ask “are you trans?” was me talking about how often i hit curbs are you fucking kidding me ?
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the only thing that can fix me rn is a sloppy make out session with a friend. my stupid fucking friends should kiss me, i should go make some friends that i can kiss m.
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i love to say wildly audacious/ hypocritical things to my friends and then sit there all smug while they try to scold me :3
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american highway survival tip: learn what teslas look like ! you can safely cut-off teslas at any speed of traffic and Grok will make their little car brake for you.
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making friends isn’t about building trust, it’s about waiting for the toxoplasmosis to kick in.
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@ChrisFa36486591
@eventualforever
do you think you aren’t regular ass people? do you think your friends and family aren’t regular ass people?
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my friends did they “hey!! what do you have in your mouth? no, bad, spit it out !” thing when i started putting batteries in my mouth during the jam session
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cigarettes are an object you treat with distain, because the ciggy likes it. and obviously you treat joints with respect and cigars like props
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my ultimate goal is that of any cat: become a witch’s familiar
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i don’t think i quite understand the concept of a combat doll because you you people keep talking about really stuff like neural interfaces and i get too horny to think
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i’m avoidant. which basically means i torture everyone i ever get close to but it’s morally ok because i get sad about it sometimes
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“wallflower” is the most adorable and poetic way to call someone socially inept
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“im so malebrained, it’s over for me” you stupid bitch. you’re just a tomboy. not everything is about you and your stupid fucking genders, sometimes you can just be a chill ass viber !!
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who am i kidding. i’d be an awful robot girl. i would forget to charge myself and run out of battery in the middle of the street by on like, day 3.
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been yearning to be treated like garbage so if any evil bitches wanna ruin a life hmu
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being unable to eat most foods is really quite alienating but it’s also super robot-coded so i guess it’s alright
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people in the 60’s going crazy while Jimi Hendrix lubes up and fucks his guitar on stage without missing a single note
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girl who who would look adorable with a knife sticking out of her eye socket
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it’s 2am. my friends are gossiping all around me and i’m laying on the ground, happily batting at the ball hanging from the scratch post.
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bomb-defusing robot holding you down while it tries to figure out which one of those bluish wires it needs to cut to calm you down
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pisses me off when people tell me i need to work on my “anger issues” first of all i’m not even mad second of all you need to work on your audacity issues, it’s not my fault you’re literally the worst.
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ah man. oh jeez my little heart. my little heart. ouch !! haha. but more importantly, her little heart. how can i break a heart? who will comfort her? i wish i could, but i’m still holding the knife i just stabbed her in the back with.
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you’ve never seen her so happy. she squeezes you as tight as she can and you feel your stuffing shift around in her arms, its the most comfortable thing you’ve ever felt. she coos as she dotes on you before placing you among her pile of Very Special plushies.
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how do you tell someone that you wish you were an intricate clock that they would dutifully maintain
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my gay little truck feels so empty, it’s a throne awaiting a passenger princess
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@avondalechevron
pop punk is simultaneously insulting to pop music and punk music at the same time. its just so awful it’s just. it’s just so awful. i weep.
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the thing about being alone is that it’s being nothing. what’s the point of anything if no one knows about it? i’m all these things but i’m not treated like any of them. i’m not treated at all.
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i was given the smallest amount of responsibility and i have managed to lose a company phone :)
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anxiety has to be the dumbest thing on the planet WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM TOO SCARED TO GO TO CONCERTS??? I FUCJING LOVE MUSIC
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my main hobby is imaging the conversations i want to have with my friends next time i see them.
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getting lonely cause you’re scared does you no good, but it actually does me tons of good i am thriving and glowing and different
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the issue about lying about yourself for so long is that once you finally tell the truth no one believes you
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walking from point A to B is so difficult sometimes i wanna climb that tree i wanna look at that bug i wanna touch those metal bars i wanna take a picture of the street i wanna try to balance on that wall
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@0xCAFEBEEF
i think it’s more likely they just don’t want to show you their soul than it is that they’re lacking a soul
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i need the sort of relationship where we write each other poems then give them back to one another annotated and graded
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i’m not necessarily sub, moreso a dom that lets herself lose because it’s more fun
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@Nexuist
notice it’s a hood, not a blindfold. you have to be looking at your instruments to fly IFR. (instrument flight rules) you can’t do that if your subways surfers tab is covering your instruments while you open and close excel or whatever people use apple pros for
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@xildelphi
begging through an animated ad on a website for you to click the big green download button so i can be with you and your computer forever
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in junior year of high school we had a lockdown while it was just me and my friend and a random girl in a classroom and we had to hide in a closet and eventually a police officer opened the door and said “boom, boom, boom, you’re dead.” then closed the door.
hey y'know one historical thing gen z has that previous gens don't, they have them constantly, and then the things they're doing them for actually happen anyway, constantly, with no sign of slowing down
active shooter drills
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nothing better than hearing the spotify DJ go “next up, we got one of your old favorites” followed by the sound of my car speakers blasting “120 BPM METRONOME” by Metronome For Musicians at full volume
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i remember at the time i was like “yeah damn fair enough he would have got our ass” i’ll just never forget the way the cop looked at each of us individually while saying “boom”
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“can you send me the link to that song” all blood has rushed out of my body. i have floated away, floated away to the clouds. of course i can send you that song, i am a goddess, a goddess who bestows songs you like upon you.
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in 2024 we’re gonna be going to the doctor for the lump on our balls we’ve been ignoring for months.
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oh man. my phone is starting to really fall apart. it’s bullshit we need phones to have a job because i’d be down to just let this thing break and be phoneless until i can afford a new one but society just ain’t built for that.
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no listen you guys don’t understand how this works. when it comes to Kurt Cobain, he’s just like me fr. and im a transgirl. therefore because of the first fact, she is a transgirl too
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in 2024 we’re learning how to say things because we want to say things and not because we want to please people
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the feminine urge to compromise my digital footprint for 7 likes and a compliment from oomf
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@twinkdefcon
my guess would be the genocide honestly. anyone in America that wasn’t forced into reservations was forced to assimilate.
when my friend takes me to the rez it doesn’t take long at all to find a food stand with S tier frybread
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@whorecore44
i’ve sorta started a band and sorta started a song and that’s more than most people so o will be proud
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i think i might be crazy and/or a bad person, and they gave me a drivers license like anyone else, i hate thta im not the worst on the road. how dare anyone be worse than me? i hold everyone to the standard i hold to myself and i hate everyone and myself !!!!!
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moonrises go so hard, hell yeah she’s red as fuck, big as fuck, and hauling ass. like a divine big-rig.
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@xildelphi
i have a fear that i’ll meet someone i love but they listen to pop-punk and i either have to lie to their face and tell them that doesn’t make me think less of them or i have to grow as a person and be less judgmental
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the stupid gamer discourse is making me insecure because i’m bad at video games. i’m the one that needs yellow paint. i tried to play undertale one time but i gave up because i kept falling onto a pile of bricks
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compliments started becoming a good thing rather than a bad thing once i started doing my best to accept them with gratitude.
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you can tell i’m about to speak because you’ll see my oversized adam’s apple rocket through the top of my mouth at mach 5
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