Heather Osborn
@HeatherOsborn
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Literary Agent at Spencerhill Associates. Pop culture fan. RPG video gamer. Romance junkie. K-Pop enthusiast. Stay.
Cincinnati, OH
Joined January 2009
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Read a good romance today that then ended with an epilogue announcing the heroine’s death via cancer after 35+ years of marriage leaving the hero sad and alone. What the actual fuck. Save that shit for women’s fic and leave my romance novels HEA, please and thank you.
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That is Swiss chard.
Say I love you with Kale! Take a veg selfie w/
#DrinkGoodDoGood
&
@NakedJuice
donates 10lbs of produce
#sponsored
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Remember when our country was stable and people felt safe and confident in their president? YOU KNOW, NINE DAYS AGO.
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Pardon me while I toot my own horn for a minute. Today I am super proud of myself for working hard on my health. Since being diagnosed with diabetic retinopathy in October I have: lost more than 22 pounds, started working out every day, and dropped my a1c from 10.7 to 7.0. Go me!
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@chrissyteigen
I love a bread bowl dip. I sometimes make a variation of this: but with chipped beef instead of ham.
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Late to the game, but I'm perusing
#unhingedpit
right now and am *cackling*. If I like your pitch, please sub to the QT address in my bio and mention it's from
#unhingedpit
!
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His twitter bio is also fire.
Some folks say I'm disrespecting
@realDonaldTrump
by boycotting inauguration. That's right. I will not normalize Trump.
#StandWithJohnLewis
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My dad died this morning. He’d been on comfort care since Wednesday & I knew this was coming but my stupid damned gallbladder made it so I couldn’t travel to see him. I’m so upset I couldn’t be there for my mom even though all my other sisters were & he knew why I couldn’t come.
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Hi all! Long time, no post. But I come to you today with news. I am thrilled to let you know that I have accepted a position as a literary agent at Spencerhill Associates. .
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@chrissyteigen
Also, as a foodie, you MUST go to Jungle Jim’s in Fairfield. It is more than a giant grocery store, it’s an experience.
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I will be checking in periodically today. If I like your pitch, please submit to the QT link in my bio and mention
#QueerPit
in the referral. Thanks and good luck out there, everyone!
🌈
#QueerPit
is TOMORROW!!🌈
❤️ 8am-8pm EST
🧡 Schedule your pitches
💛 NO moodboards or attachments
💚 Up to 4 pitches per manuscript, 1 per hour
💙 Rules on our website:
💜 Don't forget the hashtag!!
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Just had my first "I want to offer representation and am too late" moment. I feel like a real agent now. 😭😩🥺
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At the risk of causing a stampede in my subs, here are some of my
#MSWL
niche requests and somewhat guilty pleasures. (Although honestly, I am a guilt-free reader and refuse to be shamed for any of my reading choices, no matter how wild.) 1/?
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Rereading a lot of early-00s romantic suspenses at the moment and so many heroes self-identify as conservative opposite the liberal heroines and it is all I can do to keep reading and not tell the heroine to run, bitch, run.
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Me: Let me go to Query Tracker and review some queries -- I need to make some progress on them, my unread list is mad-long.
Also me: Immediately requests 4 fulls.
#somanytoread
#ijustmademorework
#butfunwork
#timetoreadsomanymanuscripts
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@dionnewarwick
Still a little too warm for a sweater out here, so I present to you a sad George in a Hawaiian shirt instead.
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@HonestToddler
Just last night my sister reported that my 4-year-old niece was whine-chant-crying “when I was in your tummy I didn’t like the blood” over and over to her, and I’ve never been so happy to be childless.
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@chrissyteigen
Rookie move. You shoulda stolen that right out of your hospital room. (Along with all pads, cups, etc.)
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@jk_rowling
As an editor by trade, this tweet hurt me as much as the time my friend informed me that the hero caressed the heroine’s beasts on page 91 of a book I’d edited.
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Made it to California for my dad’s memorial tomorrow. Thanks to everyone who sent me encouraging words and especially to my surgeon and his team who moved heaven and earth to make it happen. I am so happy it worked out.
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Going through Query Manager today and am finally answering some long delayed submissions and queries. Please know that if it seems rapid fire from your end, I am actually reading/reviewing in advance and then doing the responses. I do really review all of them!
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@mostlybree
I finished my first semester of grad school and got straight As in all my classes.
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As someone who comes from a long line of teachers, I'd like to offer a hearty fuck you to cowardly republicans who voted for DeVos.
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My 6-year-old niece trying her first slice of fried Spam: “Mmmmm! I like this. It tastes like a bacon graham cracker.”
A bacon. Graham. Cracker.
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Got my official graduate approval form in the mail today. It’s really happening. In three months I’ll have a masters degree.
#surreal
#ididit
#twomoreclassestogo
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Confession: Several times a week I randomly start thinking of terrible historical romance novel titles. Earl You Know It's True, Please Don't Go, Earl, An Earl Beyond Price, A Marquis Before Dying, You Gotta Kiss the Earl, Fool of a Duke. I...I need help, guys.
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@dog_rates
@Dumbo
With the help of winter air and a much-delayed haircut, George is pretty sure he can fly.
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Nearly wept tears of joy tonight when I was able to eat an entire bowl of chicken and wild rice soup for dinner. I think I am finally on the right regimen of anti-nausea and pain pills that will allow me to eat. And after losing 9 pounds in 9 days, I really needed this!
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Saw my doctor again and found out that I 1) lost 10 pounds in a month that included thanksgiving, 2) my blood pressure has gone down so much I need to reduce my meds and 3) she is so happy with my progress she is checking my a1c after just 2 months to see where I’m at.
#goodday
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So who’s going to write the YA novel about the child of famous parents who discovers they bribed her way into an Ivy League college when reporters show up at her dorm to ask her about it? Because I would read the shit out of that book.
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@chrissyteigen
For a good Cincinnati chili experience, go to Blue Ash Chili! For a fun food vendor experience head to Finley Market.
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Got new masks from my crafty sister yesterday and it legit felt like Christmas morning up in here.
#ThisIsTheWay
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I wonder if you could modify
@chrissyteigen
’s world famous banana bread recipe (so damn good!) using canned pumpkin instead of smashed bananas? I might just have to try.
#PumpkinSeason
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Today at the park there were three groups of moms and kids attempting a social distance meetup. Like, I get it, you’re going stir crazy locked up, but also, standing six feet away and gabbing with your mom friends while your kids mingle with abandon is so fucking dumb.
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My sister’s family went all out Star Wars this year for Halloween and they frigging nailed it. Love these fools.
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@dionnewarwick
George has given me tons of joy this past year when it has been otherwise hard to find.
#PeaceAndPets
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Why is Channing Tatum such a gift to the world? What a time to be alive.
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Have decided to finish college the way I began: turning in 15 page papers two hours before they are due.
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Just got my final grade in my last ever class for my Masters and it was a B+. Feeling slightly bad that it wasn't an A, but I AM DONE. DONE. DONE. (And one B+ in four semesters isn't so bad, I guess!)
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As a young child in the 80s, when New Coke debuted they put free samples (mini bottles) in every mailbox. I corralled all the kids my mom babysat and we robbed the whole neighborhood. Mom found us hiding in the bushes, empty bottles scattered around us.
What's a childhood anecdote that says a lot about you?
Mine is that when I was 8 my friends and I went door to door selling homemade keychains so we could buy Bibles for our bullies.
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@courtneymilan
@mostlybree
Best part of my job, to be honest. My favorite two were: she tripped on the threshold and fell into his anus and he rested his head on his trembling anus,
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So arguing that a romance shouldn't require an HEA? Means you fundamentally don't understand the genre or have absolutely no respect for it.
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Hallmark movie recommendation for all my romance writing & reading peeps: The Mistletoe Inn. Heroine is an aspiring romance author. Hero is a pubbed romance author. Takes place at a romance writers con!
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Finally started watching The Mandalorian last night and I know two things. I would die for my tiny green son and I would totally fuck Mando while he was in full helmet and armor.
#thisistheway
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"Whatever is a snicker...noodle?" -- Mary Berry being adorably British on the Great American Baking Show.
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We could have had taco trucks on every fucking corner, but NO. Now we have to pay for a dumb wall blocking us from delicious tacos.
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Can we all just appreciate the desperate, yet long-suffering look on George’s face here? (He got a pup cup as a reward.)
#happyhalloween
#dogcostume
#fatbabiesandorpets
#ckcs
#dogsofinstagram
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@VictoriaDahl
I love Penzeys so much. I give out their gift cards like candy to convert the unsuspecting! 😂😂😂
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@AlishaRai
So many men would or have just eaten multiple cake pops in front of their dates with the remorselessness of a serial killer. That’s what I’ve taken away from this long national nightmare.
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I’ve been having a hard time the last couple of days, mostly stressing about things I cannot control, so I found this very helpful. May it help anyone else who needs it.
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@owillis
I’m trying! And at least we got rid of Steve Chabot in my neck of the woods! (Small favors, I know…)
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3. Books with artist heroes/heroines. I don';t know why I love it, I just do! Something about a creative type just does it for me.
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@AlishaRai
I just tell myself stories in my head in a dark room while quietly weeping over my withering ovaries.
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Ahh! One more. 8: New Adult! I want college set or college age contemporary new adult. And if they combine any of my above requests (kpop, rockstar, artist, chef, AANHPI, etc.) EVEN BETTER!
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Your characters don't always have to "cast their eyes" places. Sometimes they can just look at shit.
#writingtips
#editorlife
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@owillis
Ugh, there is nothing worse than a doggie in pain. George tweaked his neck a few years back and I fully cried at the emergency vet as they told me it was totally fixable with steroids and painkillers. Plus side? Pics of your baby HIGH. AS. BALLS.
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Thanksgiving for two. To eat repeatedly. (And the stuffing was particularly bomb this year, just ask
@mackenziewalton
!)
#HappyThanksgiving2020
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I see a new article has come out arguing romances shouldn't require an HEA. Uh. You do you, baby, but if that's not genre romance. Period.
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Just got my official acceptance to grad school (did I tell y'all I'm getting my Masters?), so shit just got really real.
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My dad watching Harry Potter: *calls Voldemort Mortimor* Hesitates. *corrects Mortimor to Baltimore* Shuffles out of the room, satisfied.
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The real hero of
#InternationalWomansDay
is the older lady who, 1 second into the showing of Captain Marvel, said “you’re supposed to turn your phones off, right?” to the two young dudes sitting between us. They were perfectly silent for the rest of the movie.
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@mostlybree
Um, in like 1984, maybe! But 35 years later, it’s pretty much part of the repertoire, no?
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Pretty sure if I ever won the lottery the bulk of my money would go to paying my favorite authors to complete unfinished series’s that were canceled too soon.
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Me today: God, I’m really sad for no reason.
My common sense: Hey dummy, the one year anniversary of both your dad’s death as well as some major medical issues just passed. Maybe cut yourself some slack?
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As if I wasn't bitter enough I'm not Canadian, now those bastards are having Thanksgiving while we're stuck with ol "can't find India" day.
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No lie, I really, really want a "Nevertheless, She Persisted" tattoo.
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When you work at home and are self-employed, everything is SFW. Also, when you work as a romance editor, 99.99% of things are SFW.
#research
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Back in the hospital with a mysterious pouch of fluid in my upper abdomen that could be a bile leak (please no) or an easily drainable post-surgical issue. Pray for option 2 please. (Glad my sister is here for part of the day at least!)
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Sending out love to all of my Samhain peeps today and always. Some fantastic editors just hit the freelance market today. Scoop 'em up!
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