Eric Stratton
@petermillarstar
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My dads 11 beers deep talking about how attractive hawk tuah girl is. Mom is in the other room crying. This christmas is a disaster….
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I went to high school with this girl and shes an evil psychopath.
If this isn’t the caliber of woman I meet post grad and I’m stuck with what I’ve gotten in bama I will be killing myself
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How it feels to be 12 deep at the local dive bar absolutely locked in on some pool.
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Ok its been enough time and im satisfied with the ammount of engagment i recieved. I dont know this woman. Shes probably very sweet lol. I just like lying.
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Never kill yourself. The left hats this. Thats how a white man runs the football. Etc etc
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This is me. A white man. Running the God damn football.
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Golden Retrievers are the most overrated dog breed. They are just dumb dogs
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A CITADEL BURNER? 😭.
Oh shit there’s a game going on? Iam just watching the gamecocks on my phone.
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@TobyTurner DO YOU LIKE MY SWORD SWORD SWORD MY DIAMOND SWORD SWORD YOU CANNOT AFFORD FORD FORD MY DIAMOND SWORD SWORD EVEN IF YOU COULD COULD I HAVE A PATENT!.
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Yes i aced my exam today 😂. Yes my parents are obscenely wealthy 😂. Yes I’m wearing my favorite quarter zip 😂. Yes i love being white 😂. Any problems? Liberals?
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Cant believe I have to get on here and say this but this isnt real and never happened. I crafted this joke with my own brain because I am a genius. Thanks👍.
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Found this gem in my camera roll from last night… (i don’t know who that is in front of me)
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Top 5 apps. 1. X (Formerly twitter).2. Retrobowl.3. McDonalds app.4. Facebook (Marketplace).5. Prizepicks.
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How could you not love this lil fucker. 😂 look at em!
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NOOO WORLD OF TSHIRTS! DONT DRINK THE TWISTED TEA THAT GUY JUST GAVE YOU! NOOOOOO!
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This might be the most perfect amount of beer ever created.
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Today i learned that you can not put dish soap in the dishwasher
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This guys never had spit dribble down into his buthole. Smh.
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Its so wierd having a tweet blow up and having normal people reply. I get people like Dan Smith and its a pfp of an old guy and i immediately think its a burner when in fact its a very real guy.
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Enjoying dinner at a place where the price of appetizers alone will make you vomit. With a girl that would have you mumbling like a retard.(she makes me mumble like a tard too). Attending a school that just beat rank 11 Iowa State in Football. Thanks.
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Slowly dipping my toes back in the game after a year longs relationship. Liking other women’s story’s is exhilarating.
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Long drive ahead back home but i know the promise land awaits…
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What about now?.
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Singing “rape me” by nirvana at karaoke night at the bar but only saying the words “rape me”.
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Was banned for one of the most tweetable weekends of my life. A litteral 4 day bender and i couldnt post my bag, a finger in my beer or my game day fit. That had to be what citizens of north korea feel like.
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Enjoying my 23rd trip around the sun today. Cant believe the left wing socialist let me make it this far. #cheers
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Christmas haul. (Not pictured: fresh shiner on my left eye) both given to me by my father. Thanks dad. Merry Christmas guys.
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@barstoolttu @HughJanus1960 @BarstoolBig12 Who ever runs my alma matters barstool account is a fucking moron.
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Look, i know im not a vibe but it sure does feel like it sometimes.
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“Buh but Eric Stratton, you cant have a beerita at 2:30 pm thats unethical!” 🤓. Me: Shut up i dont care. Srsly -_-. Follow me for more dark humor
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@LaKnowBall Go to any bar on a saturday at an sec/big 12 school and youll find AT LEAST 15 of these bitches.
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New Smokestack from potbelly. Mac n cheese ✅.Pulled pork ✅.Bbq sauce ✅. Its really that simple folks…
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Is he wearing the barbour and costas? Or are the barbour and costas wearing him? 😂.
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Any BALLKNOWERS have a christmas story running all day on TBS during christmas?
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Just checked my email for the first time in years. FULL, of death threats from the left. They hate this. #logiesiminsideyou
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Fraternity found my burner and now they all want to make one.
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In n out and Donald Trumps JRE podcast appearance for my 4:30 hour trip back to lubbock. Thanks
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This tweet is hitting corners of twitter i didnt even know exsisted.
My dads 11 beers deep talking about how attractive hawk tuah girl is. Mom is in the other room crying. This christmas is a disaster….
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This guy being a beta makes so much sense actually.
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So scared for christmas on this app tomorrow. They should make a mandate that your not allowed to post any clothes you got for gifts.
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Yes I showed up to class in my jammies. Yes Im gonna scroll x the whole time. Yes I’m gonna leave early. And yes i have an exam Thursday 😭
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No this meatball sub isnt from firehouse its home made 😂
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97 year old hawk Tuah diner still spits on that thang the old fashioned way.
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Can you imagine one of those upside down dallas hats but instead of saying dallas it said PIKE? That would be fucking awesome.
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Guys i cant sleep I’m way too fucking excited for Santa Claus.
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The new Eric Stratton meal available at McDonalds. Includes:.1x McDouble.1x 10 piece McNugget.1x Medium Fry.1x Cane Sauce.1x Juul.1x 1/2 30 mg instant release adderal
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Oh its raining all day today? Smoking on the porch couch today it is then 👍
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