Joshua “Captain” Block
@Gloryboundbar
Followers
3K
Following
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Media
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Statuses
2K
Bama Sig Ep | Girlfriend destroyer | professional lay misser | southern mom enjoyer | bag removal specialist | all items are props and all jokes are satire
The Big White House by Denny
Joined October 2024
BAMA DZ loves a good gravity bong. May have to invest in some of these beauties.
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Watching a big game at the bar blows in comparison to a couch and a 6 pack.
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If a girl looked at me like this across houndstooth I think I would genuinely tweak out and probably need police escort out
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If this isn’t the caliber of woman I meet post grad and I’m stuck with what I’ve gotten in bama I will be killing myself
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Ranking numbers of beer to drink . 1. 4 beers (perfect slight buzz/0 hang over) .2. 8 beers (feel like the man and can speak to huzz).3. 1 beer with a view (always leads to more).4. 12 beers (hammered and can speak to women).5. 16 beers (blacked and can hold it together enough to.
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Just got word she’s 5’10. Anne I’m 6’4 and my credit card is metal holla at a nigga rq.
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No one in this bitch knows they are in the presence of a 2,000 follower burner.
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No one here knows I have 1400 followers on the burner
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For my brother. 4 years too long. Ik you ass can see my burner in heaven.
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First guy I think may just be warmer in shorts
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Drugs I’ve tried .Weed.Coke.Xanax .Addy.Dmt.LSD.Shrooms.Molly .Crack (hey it was one time).Meth (on accident, was up for days).Oxys.Ket.
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Date knows ball. (We made up cause she has a waterslide)
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Welcome back to the program. We have missed you in your off season.
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Ranking like you would read a book.Would, wouldn’t, would, wouldn’t, would, HOLY SHIT YES
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My formal date said I need to behave this weekend. Imma take notes from one of the greats.
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@BrodyBowens Brody .The response should be.“Sorry that wasn’t the shot at the right moment”.Best,.Captain.
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@jefferyremmers_ Jeffery,.Sorting through sorority instagrams is a passion of mine. Will keep you up to date on more,.Captain.
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Holy fuck that’s Anna Claire Howland she’s a kappa at bama.
If this isn’t the caliber of woman I meet post grad and I’m stuck with what I’ve gotten in bama I will be killing myself
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I would like to thank god, Alabama, Delta Zeta, the right, and the SEC for 1000 followers.
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Weed doesn’t make you unproductive, you’re just lazy.
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You know the drill, ranking like you read a book.Would (5 drinks).Wouldn’t .Would (sober in the morning).Need a diff angle but pretty sure wouldn’t .Wouldn’t.Thanks.
Do your research on Sacred Heart University, small private Yankee school but I swear every girl who goes there is atleast an 8
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@o0o0000o00 @LouHoltz69 Holt,.You have gone to far. I tweeted it cause it was funny, the captain smokes pot too. We need hot women smoking too. Disappointed,.Captain.
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Priorities in life (ranked). 1. Seeing Alabama make the playoff.2. Seeing my ex’s downfall.3. Getting 1000 followers on the burner.4. Getting drunk .5. Getting high .6. Getting laid (wish it could be higher but that’s a recipe for disaster).7. Graduation .8. Job post grad.
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@MESoxGuy Maine,.Knew this would bang so I used the whole word. Could’ve used gb, waterfall, yeeb, etc. Captain,.
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4 deep out.RB protect .Motion the slot .On 1.Break
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Watching the dirt and my buddy leans over and goes that looks fun. Safe to say I’m screaming home sweet home rn
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Also pulling the rip cord early cause rental wife is at the bar.
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Shorty pulled up in the snuggy. Do I toss a ring down the seam?
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@HankGirthful Hank,.Toss a 15 yard seam to your tightend.(Whip your dick out and piss on the floor).Should be a bomb,.Captain.
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@FuckFitzgerald @PoopVacuume @mackattack2003 The amount of information I have gathered on this women just by tweeting her picture is insane.
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The kids from New Jersey are having a Saturday!!!
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1. Ex girlfriends .2. Alcoholism .3. Most combat positions in warfare .4. Breadwinner responsibilities .5. Sorority date parties .6. Drug dependence .7. The Kansas City chiefs.8. NCAA CFB board .9. cover .10. Drink prices.
Women deal with periods, pregnancy, menopause. and wtf do men have to deal with ???.
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@ronnieracks Ronald,.This is where I use my ADHD (extreme retardation) to my advantage. Just say “I wanted something to do with my hands so I was rolling and unrolling it in class” this way she thinks u go to class and don’t do bag. Good luck,.Captain.
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Just sold 10 addy for 100$. Are people retarded?.
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Agar in a college lecture? I need to get to know this guy
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@hurricanenut01 This is a great metaphor and needs to be noticed. If I can uber a girl to me tho ion see the point t.
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Information gained: the kid she cheated on took her back (jef house), she’s miserable without me, and captain is up. Thank you and good night
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Several questions .1. Who in the world let a woman of that size get that elevated?.2. How the hell is that supporting her weight? .3. What’s her goal of being up there?.4. Is this goal tending?.
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I WILL NOT STAND FOR THE SYDNEY THOMAS GLAZE. now excuse me for 2 minutes while I use the “bathroom”
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I’m sorry but I would once then never again, ion understand the hype behind this bitch. She wouldn’t be the shit in a SEC bar.
Brianna ‘Chickenfry’ LaPaglia stuns as Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover model after messy Zach Bryan split
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“I SAW YOU WITH THAT BITCH LAST NIGHT”.Yup and I took her to my penthouse and I freaked it.
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No home town huzz. But I’m happy with my nights end
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This useless fuck took away the sugar bowl tonight.
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Ass or tits?.Every southern college bar on insta:
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Yeah mom the studying is going great! Expect a A tomr!
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Thanks @Brax_Honeycutt for this fine new snow plow. Can’t wait to use this at my local Irish pub.
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The bag is otw.
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Captain clocking in this fine Friday, see everyone on the field.
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Breakfast. Don’t worry imma wear my running shoes on bourbon tn.
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Rich zeta (insane) just told me she broke up with her boyfriend. Time for round 30.
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