crint
@pantssoup
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834
Following
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😐 ꓤɅꓕƎIꓤO ⅂OS SɅɅON
certified jeans hater
Joined June 2014
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We’ve been over this
I genuinely think a lot of men are just being rejected in their heads
They assume a girl won’t like them because of an insecurity they have, and think that’s why they’re single
…instead of realizing they’ve never actually tried
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Call me a Columbia sophomore because I am pitchin a damn tent!!!
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Weird that there are now people who are younger than me. When I was growing up everyone was older
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Never been an art fan in my life but this piece makes me emotional
y’all what is a painting or other work of visual art that never fails to destroy you every time you see it because BOY I’ll start:
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Kinesiology major who runs out to bring water to the safety who just lost the privilege of having a knee
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You guys post your fastest times on the NYT mini, but I sit back with a few fingers of brandy and consider the clues, how they are asked, why they are asked
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Asking a girl on a first date to Napoleon but telling her not to shower for 3 days
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Get these fake chillers off my tl
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Had a drunk dream last night that I ate a golfball and it tasted alright
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Fell in love with no less than 3 different girls at the bar last night. Even made eye contact with one of them. Massive night
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Nothing. EVER. Happens
Call your mother... and father... and lover.
Hurry.
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@j0y_cel
Don't know/care what this is about but can you pass my information along to her thanks
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If you’re still posting this retarded shit in April of 2024 you should be placed in a vice and squeezed really hard
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Laying on the sidewalk coughing up blood and squirming around
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Coming up with a bunch of new pitches y'all haven't even considered. The switcher. The hairball. The no-seam slipper. The full loop change. The six seam fastball. The shoe-down egg-drop.
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You ever see someone and think to yourself “I never even considered that someone could look like that” ?
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I have dmed this to multiple girls on both ig and twitter and have not gotten anything back
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If god had wanted you to live he would not have created me
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Bzzzzzt INCORRECT this is actually the hardest anyone has Passed the green line test
this might be the hardest anyone has ever failed the green line test
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@JermSansContext
@Jerma985
@SuperMeatBoy
It just said "oh cruel world, where is my dr pepper?" In top text bottom text impact font
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Volunteering to be a punching bag on the set of this film
Sydney Sweeney will star as boxer Christy Martin in a biopic directed by David Michod.
“I grappled & did kickboxing from 12-19 years old. I’ve been itching to get back into the ring, train & transform my body”
(Source: Deadline)
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There is no "gray area" as to who the good guys are in this conflict. I've been seeing a lot of tweets essentially endorsing terrorism and genocide, so I'm gonna make it clear: full support to the Phillies.
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Wow!!! Imma be bumpin this at the 'cookout' fr!!
Will the left now promote this song? Black rapper Dax is out with a remix of "Rich Men North of Richmond."
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You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen can I be your just some guy
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Every day I grow uglier and more evil. Napkin math tells me 2026 will be my last year for having sex. The event horizon
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Keep blocking her way while rapping bonfire by childish gambino even if another song is playing
You’re at a college house party. And you notice this young woman leaving the female restroom. How do you open?
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No I want to be a slot receiver in the NFL
So you're telling me you don't wanna get married, have 6 kids, move to the country, buy a homestead, get baby cows, grow our own food, drink raw milk all day and live happily ever after?
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I need to learn how to talk to girls bro this shit is getting ridiculous
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Nixon: she yoink on my sploink til I uhh... I uh...
Haldeman: [inaudible]
Nixon: twitter user crint is not nearly clever enough or well informed on this era of American history to use this joke format
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Do you think Troy Aikman and Joe Buck go out to eat together and sit on the same side of the booth
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KIT FISTO GANG WE OUT HERE
Fully convinced that if you grew up with the Star Wars Prequels, one of the guys was your favorite Jedi for no explainable reason
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This was my birthday tweet btw you all missed it
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This bartender is so beautiful I am imagining the rest of my life with her. You already know I’m never gonna talk to her
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I'd be so pissed if i was a giant jacked beast and some girl kissed me and I turned back into just a regular ass dude
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I would juke them out of their shoes and come back around a few more times to do it again before clocking in
I can't imagine wanting to go to work at
@citi
this badly. Get a coffee dude. Listen to the scientists.
#summerofheat
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Any time a girl on campus smiles at me I assume she’s in some church org and trying to get me to join
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