Captain Ahab
@pallidslayer
Followers
344
Following
22
Media
47
Statuses
324
The esteemed former captain of the Pequod. Soon-to-be slayer of the Pallid Whale! (Parody account. Obviously not associated with Project Moon.)
Pequod Town
Joined March 2024
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Iran
• 584278 Tweets
ايران
• 455730 Tweets
#اسماعيل_هنيه
• 337667 Tweets
اسرائيل
• 330622 Tweets
#今月描いた絵を晒そう
• 198702 Tweets
#BalenciagaxFourth
• 182683 Tweets
BALENCIAGA BOY FOTFOT
• 175233 Tweets
طهران
• 120920 Tweets
İsrail
• 33707 Tweets
ゲリラ豪雨
• 29988 Tweets
アルゼンチン
• 27276 Tweets
#Fes蓮ノ空TSFライブ
• 25798 Tweets
Lakshya Sen
• 24245 Tweets
スタリラ
• 23259 Tweets
土砂降り
• 16089 Tweets
Beautiful like you
• 14019 Tweets
#V最協S6
• 12628 Tweets
Is this that "Deepwoken" thing some of you keep babbling about?! It SUCKS!!!!
30
148
1K
This is why your wife doesn't want to see you anymore. 💚
3
93
781
I hate this game. Some fool called "the0dyss3y" keeps killing me!
5
38
381
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4
26
155
Trying out this "mine craft" game. Hah, maybe should've been less harsh on it!
3
18
92
@silly_ishmael_
How foolish, Ishmael—to think you could get rid of me so easily! Now pull up to Lower Erisia so my guild can gank you!
1
5
55
Fun whale fact for all my followers. If you've paid proper attention to my wonderful diagrams, you'd know the Pallid Whale has a spindly arm on it's underbelly!
1
9
41
We're going to harpoon you.
4
1
39
Saw this hilarious image on the interwebs today. Thought my followers would like to see it!
3
6
33
Rise and shine, crew! Thought I might start off the day with one of these little yellow creatures that Outis keeps posting about. I think I get it now!
2
5
32
...Hah! What a bogus test. Who designed this damnable thing?!
5
6
24
@snagharp00n
@butchoutis
Hah. How wonderful to see you finally agreeing with me, Ishmael! You and I are truly one in the same...
1
0
25
Morning, crew! Another one of these little yellow creatures, since you all seem to quite like them. This one's relatable!
4
7
22
I need you.
1
3
21
@snagharp00n
@butchoutis
Asking your old captain for some help now, are we? Hah! You're finally beginning to understand just how useless you are without me to guide you!
2
0
20
Finally getting around to these letters! First one- and... goddamnit.
2
1
20
Carnally.
Like
For business related reasons, right? To help you kill the whale....right?
0
0
4
0
5
17
Tomorrow. 4:30 PM. 7/11 parking lot. We'll settle this like proper sailors.
does anyone want to join my crew? we are going to hunt ahab
11
5
69
4
1
18
Hah, 100 followers! Say, crew— throw some suggestions for celebrations my way. Stat!
9
0
16
@snagharp00n
@butchoutis
Heh! Now that's the proper bite of a seadog, isn't it? You remind me of my younger self, you know.
1
0
16
Finally gotten around to this "Twitter" business. Or, is it "X"? Bah. No matter! I'm quite certain I can spread the good word of my quest to slay the Pallid Whale here.
3
2
15
Come outside.
the crimson whale has been ignoring my messages. is it over for me
0
0
13
2
0
13
Excuse me? Please *what*? I don't have time for incoherent ramblings.
2
0
12
Greetings again, my most loyal followers! I've seen some other folk around doing something called "Google Form", or... whatever it's called! Asking if you'd all be interested in something of the sort.
7
0
10
@silly_ishmael_
Hah! Always such a coward, weren't you? Never willing to take matters into your own hands! It's all your fault, Ishmael!
1
1
12
Haah. All that talk, and you don't have the guts to tell me who you are! Don't make me laugh.
//admin jumpscare,, if this is genuine. um. im glad i play the part so well???!?
0
0
11
What.
4
1
11
...
1
1
11
Why, two-hundred of you? I would celebrate, if not for that blasted whale taking priority!
1
0
10
@shimishtar
It'd be in your best interest to refer to me by my title, rather than a sugary pastry...
2
0
10
Crew! I've been thinking. Hypothetically, if I were an animal— which would it be? For no reason in particular.
8
0
10
Morning to all my followers. Sometimes, I use my hair like it's a big, curly blanket. Just wanted to let you all know.
8
0
8
Haah. Morning, crew! Ignore anything posted last night, you hear?! Might've had too much to drink.
1
0
8
@the0dyss3y
Heh. Did you know leopard seals like toying with their food? They'll chase younger penguins in and out of the water 'till they get bored! What brutal little critters.
1
0
8
Bah. I don't have fish on hand, you know? Mermaid is *far* more nutritious, either way...
1
0
6
FULL SAIL, FULL SAIL! MY CREW, TO ME! NAVIGATORS, CHART COURSE! WE SET FORTH, TO THE PALLID WHALE! TO THE PROGENITOR OF ALL EVILS! ROW! ROW, I SAY!
1
2
6
Agh, just *what* is with the abundance of different Ishmaels on this website?! First, there was regular Ishmael, then Captain Ishmael— and now joyous Ishmael?! Bah, I've ought to go lie down for a moment...
2
0
6
@shimishtar
Hah, an old whaler such as I—inspiring such a spark within your heart? Why, I suppose I'm... flattered.
1
0
7
Some... internet slang? Why, I suppose it couldn't hurt to get a bit of insight into what the youth these days speak of!
1
0
7
@the0dyss3y
THE PALLID WHALE IS ALIVE! MY CREW, SET FORTH! WE SAIL TO THE VERY HEART OF THAT WRETCHED BEAST, TO PIERCE IT ONCE AND FOR ALL! IT LIVES, I CAN FEEL IT! IT'S HEART STILL BEATS, IT'S LUNGS STILL RATTLE WITH AIR-- AND I SHALL NOT STOP UNTIL IT IS SLAIN!
2
0
5
@KROMOGRIPS
@ishmaeling
@Sinclair_reaI
Why, excuse me? I'm no grandmother. Have some damned respect for your elders, will you?!
3
0
5
I'm no grandmother, you damned bilge rat. Have some respect for your captain, will you?!
1
0
5
Ah, wonderful question! First, separate the salvageable bits— the least pallidified ones. Fins are the best part, nice and soft. Once you've done that, cook it at about 125°F for three minutes on either side. Then, chuck it in some stew or cut it into chewable pieces. Delicious!
1
0
5
@snagharp00n
@the0dyss3y
@miffyjii
Why, don't be like that— Ishmael! I'm beginning to see the appeal of these so called "minion memes". Maybe she's right...
1
0
5
@the0dyss3y
Haah, true. You're, what... in your forties? You may be an insufferable old windbag, but you're certainly not a hag.
1
1
5
Why, I've been fit as a fiddle! I shall slay that damned whale, soon enough! I must merely track it down...
0
0
4
...Hah! Trying to flatter an old salt now, are we? GET TO SWABBING THE DAMNED DECK, SAILOR! I WANT IT SPOTLESS, YOU HEAR?!
1
0
4
Why, don't make me laugh... you're little more than a deckhand playing pretend, Ishmael! Pathetic.
0
0
4
@MephisDriver
@the0dyss3y
You think so lowly of me?! Mind you, I am Captain Ahab! I am perfectly capable of making it to bed of my own volition!
1
0
4
@MephisDriver
@the0dyss3y
Why, you... bah, forget about it. Knocking some sense into that noggin of yours is a fool's errand.
0
0
4
Ishmael... what, now? What's a "simp"? Bah! I think that's enough of these letters for today. My back is killing me!
1
0
4
@callherishmael
Silence. SILENCE! CAPTAIN AHAB DOESN'T FEEL SUCH THINGS— DOESN'T HAVE SUCH WEAKNESSES! MY CREW, TO ME! TO ME, I SAY! WE SAIL FORTH! UNTO THE WAVES OF THE GREAT LAKE! TO THE PALLID WHALE! I COMMAND OF YOU!
1
0
3
@snagharp00n
@OmeletteBlue
Heh. You know her loyalties lie within her captain, Ishmael! Till her very last breath, she shall heed my word as if it were holy decree— for I have given her purpose! Refuge from her old life! What have you done? Tear open her scars?! Try fruitlessly to fix her mangled heart?!
1
0
3
@the0dyss3y
Delusional? Why, I ought to throw you to the mermaids for that one. Weren't you taught to respect your elders?
1
0
3
Heh. Why, don't fret, greenhorn! Some time out on the sea will give you some bark. Eventually.
0
1
3
@funnylittleguy8
@pallidwhale
Heh. A mutineer, are we? I'll have you thrown overboard and left for the mermaids! There is no place for those of weak spirit aboard my vessel!
0
0
3
Heh. Why, there's no room for cowardice on my vessel, you know? Don't be shy, now! Step up.
1
0
3