Dan
@p_pastryhangman
Followers
881
Following
2,774
Media
1,567
Statuses
10,583
Down at the high class bureau de change
Bristol
Joined December 2009
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Gets a lot of stick but he’s still out there every day looking for those WMDs
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Quote this with that video you will never delete 🤣🥺🤩🥳🤯😁
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@utciad1980
@youwouldknow
when would it ever be nice to hear from that ballbag? I'd much rather watch him getting a well deserved bollocking. Even if it is from another, bigger ballbag.
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My older brother who has a learning disability got his first jab today. Hugely grateful to
@jowhiley
for helping adults with LDs to be prioritised 🙏
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The world if Spaceman by Babylon Zoo hadn’t slowed down after the intro
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The True Detective season I would write
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NEW! Paddy McGuinness will reportedly host a reboot of game show Bullseye on ITV
More details:
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It’s not going well for glinner
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Gets a lot of stick but he’s still out there every day looking for those WMDs
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Just had spaghetti madras because we got the wrong brown stuff out of the freezer
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@Atlantis252
Incredible stuff. I’m going to start trying this. “I believe this entitles me to a 10% discount?”
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Rishi Sunak is the first PM in British history that is too small to go on any of the rides at Thorpe Park
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He's been fiddling the books down the arches
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@fesshole
mint humbugs do a great job of stopping you from smelling like shit by making you smell like minty shit
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Jesus chilling in his cave waiting for Jacob Rees-Mogg to tweet about him being risen
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@PepperellEddie
what is the correlation between being a libertarian and believing in science before 2020? Anti-maskers seem to reject science
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Center Parcs inadvertently whipping up a load of anti-monarchy sentiment ahead of Monday
Following the announcement of the date of the funeral of Queen Elizabeth II, we have made the decision to close all our UK villages on Monday 19 September at 10am as a mark of respect and to allow as many of our colleagues as possible to be part of this historic moment. 1/2
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Insurance company: it’s £150 more now for no reason
Me: can it be the same?
Insurance: yes ok
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Me trying to pay the bill when the waiter keeps walking straight past
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The whole time she's talking the dog is sniffing the air and scanning the studio for a gravy covered child
“I don’t think there's enough education... for the public about what breeds they should be getting, and what those breeds need”
Dog trainer Jo-Rosie Haffenden says there are a myriad of reasons why American bully XLs end up attacking people
#Newsnight
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bold of Andrew Bridgen to talk about gene therapy when he looks like his were hastily assembled from some bin juice
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Dying at this sharing suggestion my phone has put together of lunch in the cafe of Yeovil Tesco
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I used AI to unblur this photo and that is NOT Kate wtf is going on
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@rachsmithtweets
Switching from laying everything out with tables to just using CSS. CSS Zen Garden blew my mind, I pretty much have
@mezzoblue
to thank for my entire career.
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Post a picture of a painting that does wonders for your mental health.
I'll start...
Green Wheat Fields at Auvers (1890)
🎨 Vincent van Gogh
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When Liz Truss has a quick go at being PM
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My unpopular Bristol opinion is that I used to think Freedog was a trampoline park for dogs
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We’re good with our fire extinguishers and narwhal tusks thanks pal
Takeaway from
#LondonBridge
incident: If law-abiding Londoners could carry firearms legally, it probably wouldn't have happened.
Amazing how bold the terrorists are when they know their victims will be unarmed.
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Fuck The Sun and fuck Rupert Murdoch
The Sun appears to have destroyed Huw Edwards’s life, health and career over a purely personal matter.
The police have found no evidence of a criminal offence.
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Can anyone recommend an awesome Bristol designer for logo design for our rebrand and/or new website?
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@imteddybless
@BennyBackwoods
tfw you're a wise guy and you unironically start your tweet with 'may of...'
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Having a lot of weird tweets in support of Joris Bohnson pushed into my timeline
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I thought this was about the famileigh for a second
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@PepperellEddie
What’s your alternative though that doesn’t involve thousands of deaths per day, people dying outside of hospital with no care and no NHS capacity for anything else?
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Her: you better not be playing subbuteo when I get there
My goofy ass:
Good Morning All ☘︎︎ ̥࿐𓈒𓏸☕
❝ Flexibility makes buildings to be stronger, imagine what it can do to your soul.❞
Carlos Barrios
…. I wanna do this….💕
#TuesdayVibes
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Just had to cut a pizza with a bread knife on a glass chopping board
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TIL the second time David Lynch ever smoked pot he saw Bob Dylan in concert, his seats were very far away, but he no longer understood the concept of distance, so he thought Bob Dylan was a 5 inch man, this freaked Lynch out and he left
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