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"This lad will eat anything; Lego, birds, hair... You name it"
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This is my local Conservative MP, Chongo.
He voted to allow gamma radiation and growth hormones to enter the food chain.
See you at the next election.
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What family breakfast table is complete without this beautiful milk jug?
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I had a nightmare last night that Captain Tom came back, but he was evil and had long black hair. He started walking around his garden backwards to undo all the good. He could only be stopped by angling mirrors to focus sunlight on him until he caught fire.
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I went to show the waitress a discount QR code and showed her this picture by accident.
End my life.
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TV presenter and producer Noel Edmonds is photographed for the Independent in Dartmoor, England (1999)
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I bet he just fell off the bone.
Rock Legend, Dave Grohl, cooked for over 24 hours for the homeless on Super Bowl Sunday
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"How am I supposed to use an electric car, Paul? I'd need a 7 mile extension lead just to go to Tescos"
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Irish Chuck Berry be like:
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Just clocked some millionaires shortbread in a staff room on a floor I'm not supposed to be on
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Meet the 93 year old war veteran, Major Colin Rumbelow, the man riding his mobility scooter to the Ukraine warzone.
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Were going to have a prime minister that is so short that it's unsafe for him to go on the Nemesis
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Willy Wonka, Irish ham
Sydney Sweeney, Ramadan
Elon Musk, Boeing's bust
Pussy in bio
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"join us after the break where we'll be talking to the owner of the Britain's widest cunt"
Measuring over 12 inches when erect, Matt Barr reveals what life is like living with Britain's biggest penis! 🍆
#ThisMorning
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It was a bit like this
I had a nightmare last night that Captain Tom came back, but he was evil and had long black hair. He started walking around his garden backwards to undo all the good. He could only be stopped by angling mirrors to focus sunlight on him until he caught fire.
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Not a fan of Farage but applaud his bravery in coming out. 🌈
It's a beautiful world out there. Go and realise your dreams! ☀️
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Sue Grey looks like she should be picking up Alan Partridge's eczema prescription
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Me age 17: "I found some prescription painkillers in a hedge, let's take them and go swimming in the river"
Me age 42: "they should make a wallet with a special pocket for Rennies"
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@MagnaGallina
I'll shit off a cliff, I'll shit off a dock but I'll be godammed if I shit off the clock
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@wrexham
does anyone remember this thing in Rhostyllen having a Hollywood sign on it in like 1998/1999 for a few weeks? Nobody I know remembers it, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.
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Nathan Barley was a documentary
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Nadine Dorries' favourite war is World War One because it was the first time horses were blown to bits by tanks
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The face of a man that doesn't remember that he 'thumped Adolf on a blimp and then skydived into a concentration camp and rescued 1500 prisoners, armed only with a butter knife, then Winston Churchill said "nice work Captain Tom" and then I snogged Vera Lynn'
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"As I rounded the corner I felt muscular and compact, like corned beef"
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