Ethan
@ethanmead4ever
Followers
751
Following
5K
Statuses
2K
writer / comedian / #blockedbytrump / wrote 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings & How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men’s Feelings
Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Joined December 2019
good luck separating the art from THIS artist. I glue all my paintings to my body
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Talk shows in the 70s had Johnny Carson elbow deep in a female PA asking if you’d ever shake hands with a black Person and now they’re about eating hot wings with an autistic man while he asks about your relationship with your father
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@MeganBitchell that’s actually famous marvel character Blyrece and she only has 3 fingers bc thanos bit one off
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me: oh my god dude.. how many of those brownies did you eat my boy: uhhh like 4? Why me: ohoooo oh my god bro no wayyyy my boy: what?? What is it??? me: you’re such a fat fuck. those were for the bake sale what the hell is wrong with you
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*talking to my plug* so when you say “body high” does that include my dick and ass
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I have an extra long iPhone charger and every morning I wake up with it wrapped around my neck like an umbilical cord yaaaaaay :)) :) :))
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nurse did not offer me a candy after stitching up my Harry Potter scar (self inflicted). Linguigi mango one was right
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me when I hate my brain and want to destroy it
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strawberry shortcake slime is not covered by EBT for some bullshit reason. even though it literally smells like food
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thank god. They really needed a win
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“If you’re depressed, reach out to someone” why. So they can jerk off? fuck you
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NO DINKLE’S DAY OUT IS CRAZY
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having a cup of coffee on a Thursday morning like a dangerous psychopath. I completely don’t give a fuck and I like to hurt people
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bit of the century is hearing someone’s grandparent died and going “man that sucks… fent?”
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at what point do you just say fuck it and go back to school for bug science
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