Gaysex Twin
@ourfirstcaress
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キャンペーン開催中
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自分の道
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“In the United States if you are listening to music that is considered to be too gay they take you and they force you to move to a place called Berkeley.”
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never returning to fire island because a man last night hugged me so warmly and then said “thank god you’re here, too many skinny bitches at this party”
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This video has the same positive effects as an essential oil diffuser
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growing up in Louisiana was satire because you’re telling me nobody was like yeah that one’s got some sugar in the tank
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Amy Coney Barrett called campo to bring her from stew to clough every single day for the intro to soc class she constantly “played Devil’s Advocate” in
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I cannot imagine having a normal sized head. Where would I store all my lore
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me:
white girl studying abroad who has said that evolution is a liberal myth: Aisleeleigh literally get Keightthrynn and Katiebelle Ann right now we are leaving this ratchet museum so I can get that €140 Zara flared camo cutoff romper I saw for SAE formal
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cults at Rhodes
- Crew Team
- Sperry Wearers/Old Row Fucks& alt right
- Theater kids
- rich faux-woke post-grunge white devils
- kids in Theater
- Spann Girls (includes boys)
- those who sm*ke weed in fischer gardens/Glassell kids
- Those whom, whilst at Rhodes, practise Theatre.
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nobody:
Snapchat explore page: Kylie Said Stormi’s Poop Was WHAT Color After Her Birthday Caviar!?
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My disjointed adderall thoughts are always the highest quality thoughts I have so I will now be posting them in a thread
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name a brilliant nonbinary acting performance where they eat a raw fish with their bare hands and give covetousness and spite
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BREAKING: Will Smith Shoves Jason Derulo Down Flight of Stairs at
#Oscars
Afterparty
#AcademyAwards2022
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like this tweet and Kaitlyn and I will take the necessary steps to determine your Warrior cats name
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Cape Cod trip and yes my white ass was listening to Vampire Weekend throughout
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In celebration of Father’s Day, I have decided I will be following in my dad’s footsteps😃😁😝
Please wish me luck as I abandon any and all responsibilities and move suddenly and without explanation to Battle Creek, Michigan😌😋
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Everyone being so mean to me today… this is who you’re attacking
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Ariana naming her album Sweetener to appeal to the diabetic gays... her inclusive mind
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it’s unfortunately the baddest bitches alive who have the most insidious, stomach-melting acid reflux
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me when anyone questions my Louisiana origins
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Did Lil dicky stop making music or did I remove the right people from my life
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so freeing to reach this milestone in the talking stage
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Locals go away! This tweet is just for Grimes. ⚔️⛓🌫🌥🥅H E L L O🎰⌚️G R I M E S📱📱📱C A N📲I⚙️💣HA🖨⌨️VE💿🎛⌛️🎛S O M E⛓🎛💳O💎💎F💴🕯🔌T H A T⛓🕰M O N🎚E🎚🎙💎Y
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Think about how beautiful and profound and cathartic it could be if everyone on earth had an international day of crying. If we all just went outside and laid in the grass and sobbed. We could have Angel Olsen perform
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my chest hair swirls like a whirlpool into my heart which is really special btw
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very sad but one day I will have to kill Nick Jonas there can only be one hot short bisexual debatably Jewish ex-twink diabetic man in Hollywood
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SHOCKING: the absolute worst people you knew in college have been Zionists all along
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you guys say some weird stuff sometimes
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Something cute I enjoy during a busy shift is disappearing into the bathroom for 30 minutes. This creates an air of mystery
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On the first night of my 23rd year I have come to understand that throwing ass to Just Can’t Get Enough by Depeche Mode is reason enough to enjoy existing in this cramped meat vessel
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Tomorrow I go to work at my office job... and then the day after that... and then the day after that... and then the day after that...
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A sexual assaulter is now on the Supreme Court. If you’re not horrified by or ashamed of this right now don’t fucking talk to me actually launch yourself into the fucking sun I can’t stand y’all!
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me when bitches talk like they played the sims 3 growing up but then mention that they only ever used motherlode and never felt the sting nor the subsequent by-the-bootstraps ascension out of true sims poverty
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Reba was at my restaurant tn and I wasn’t but she was going on Andy Cohen’s show afterwards with Troye Sivan so she might have been gay guyed out if she’d met me before them
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Plans after graduation:
1. Go sicko mode on the job market
2. Finally eat my placenta
3. Go back in time and assassinate Frank Sinatra
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Be honest! Do these two android-quality photos of me have traveling bard energy
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I love God! She saw that I was bored at home while all my friends are studying for finals so she gave me the flu! without even asking!
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Well the most annoying question I get on the red carpet is paps constantly asking me: “Jake, that look from 2012... it’s stunning. Who on Earth were you wearing?” Every time I answer them, “Darling, it says right there on the shirt! Tobuscus, of course.”
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Liberals bragging about their therapy, their antidepressants. I believe in the power of holistic medicine. Specifically I’m referring to the music of Carly Rae Jepsen
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when the Conversion Camp Head Counselor stands up for our sacred God-given right to pollute the air and contaminate the water of our rapidly dying planet🥰😍
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╭━━━━━━━━━━━━━╮
┃🌔 CO — STAR ┃
┃𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 ┃
┃ Eat a pinecone. ┃
┃ ┃
╰━━━━━━━━━━━━━╯
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just realized that I know people who have never seen this commercial
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Mr. President, if you’re listening, I want you to hear me please. You have harnessed fear this hot girl summer and only love can pass that up. So I, sir—I have a feeling you know what you’re doing—I will harness love this hot girl summer. I will meet you on that field.
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The year is 2056. You are an aging man labeled “technophobe” for your refusal to bow down to the robot overlords. “Children!” you plead. “Get in the hover car! I have but enough bitcoin stock to get us to your Aunt Agna’s e-house.” “But Papa,” your children respond. “We hunger.”
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Personally if I saw Shakira being robbed by wild boars in Barcelona I would attempt to intervene. I guess that’s just who I am
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Being A Silly Goose Is a Dangerous Thing for a Person Like Me To Do, But I Do It.
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THE CIA DOES NOT WANT ME TO TELL YOU THIS BUT JUST ONE SERVING OF CORN AND POBLANO CHOWDER WITH GARLIC NAAN CAN CURE THE DEEPEST DEPR
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I did NOT murd3r this twink… let’s put an end to the violence😇🙏
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Accidentally took double the normal adderall dose I’m sweating and can’t stop thinking about how much I want to fold clothes
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Sinead O’Connor got on SNL at the height of her career to say fuck pedophile priests & their defenders in the church & then she blew out her candles. Libs (including M*donna) dragged her name thru the dirt for decades. The pop girls of today are not doing it like this I fear…
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when you’re and you when the you’re and it’s but you know you go on the
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thinking about when my ex told me he had several fake social media accounts so he could keep track of me
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coworker I love who genuinely has no brain next to me on the phone said “yes ma’am I’m sorry to hear all this about that, that that happened to you at this present in time in this moment”
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sophomore year roommate posted one of those “big cities I’ve been to” bingo things on insta not realizing his shaft AND ball were visible in the corner of the image it was up for literally 12 hours before I DMd him and he deleted it I wish I could show y’all
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Feeling isolated. Anybody wanna start a commune with me? Mainly we would be playing video games and vibing
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Every time someone says “six feet apart” I am reminded that so many awful screenplays are being written right now with that exact title
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Game of Thrones took a risk giving a character no personality, throwing him out of a tower on the first episode, launching him into the show’s most boring plot line, eventually removing what semblance of a personality he did have, and on top of that literally naming him Brandon
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reminder that being spiritually gorgeous does NOT stop me from being physically gorgeous
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me n Kaitlyn brainstorming fictional cat names for days on end to satisfy the masses
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you attack ONE furry and here comes all his friends🙄pack it up animal crossing
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him: I’m coming over u better not have transformed ur room into a postmodern den of whimsy
me:
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