Road Dog Karl
@HammerFist3
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if it ain’t a good mornin…then it’s great one
chicago
Joined August 2011
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I want to swallow a single marble I think I can handle it I’m an adult
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Why the fuck is it called a restroom I am fighting for my life in here
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God that’s so badass
Nine lives for a cat that jumped from fire at 65th and Lowe. Cat hit grass bounced and walked away!
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fellas is it gay to die?? think about it, ur letting the grim reaper (another man) take your soul to paradise
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Literally just spill 100 marbles on the ground & theyre all done for
WATCH: Police in Karachi, Pakistan are training an armed rollerblading unit to better prevent theft and harassment on its streets.
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They asked for my pronouns at work & I said “karl” so They gave me this cool name tag :)
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I am pooping on my toilet & remembered that I was in a mikes hard lemonade ad 3 years ago lmfao
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me: i want to have a good time and also maybe die
trampoline salesmen: ive got just the thing
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game cube is the best name for that thing. it’s a game cube
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It’s like soooooo easy to not murder someone I do it every day of my life constantly
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I hate when I’m at the bar & the bartender says “hey get that toad out of here” are you fucking kidding me ? I’m just here chillin w my toad having a beer. Look at him he’s wearing a little vest. Fuck you man don’t talk trash to me & my little toad I got right here
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Falling asleep with a little pet on top of you who is also falling asleep .... that’s some cool shit
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Have yall seen Bee Movie ? People sleep on how fucked up that movie was . That lady was Tryna fuck that bee
http://t.co/CbcuhwqGe5
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Gonna start my George Lopez / Tim Allen erotic fan fiction now okay I hope you're exited
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Michael Jordan I have work in a few hours I can't be getting into this with you right now
http://t.co/8zM9jTPcVQ
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art school kids love to be like. i’m going to change the world by wearing weird looking pants
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All guys named Kevin are constantly trying to become the "Ultimate Kevin."
Every time two Kevin's meet they fight.
Only one Kevin can win.
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Some asshole left freechicken outside his hotel room. Squat with the chicken, fam. you know what it is.
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....
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Dick B. Nimble
Dick B. Limp
Dick B. Lookin like popcorn shrimps
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Wake up eggs
Sit down eggs
Standup eggs
Pour up eggs
- Kendrick Eggmar
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Give👏🏼all👏🏼the👏🏼whales👏🏼at👏🏼seaworld👏🏼guns👏🏼so👏🏼they👏🏼can👏🏼do👏🏼what👏🏼is👏🏼right👏🏼
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Show your parents what is on Twitter & not what is on the news you know they’re not putting shit on the news & old people don’t seem to grasp that shit . Show old folks what is really happening out .
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@DuckAlertsNOW
I’m still so off put by this I’ve watched it so many times I hate this little beast
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Crank my car, she be hummin' . rims so big, you can see me comin’
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