Smile... You will either warm their heart or piss them off. Either way you win!

@MarugameUdonUSA Please bring the Garlic Chicken Salad entree at the Waikiki location to California!! I miss it so much 😫

Can’t believe I missed the opportunity to see @therealrussellp at @IrvineImprov. If anyone knows how I can get 2 tickets for a nice Malaysian and an Indian, I will be forever grateful

@BlackWolfNation Please collaborate with @hellotushy to turn this into a portable/travel bidet! The manual squeeze version just isn’t the same.

I need a vacation. And someone to pay for my vacation.

RT @BudgetsAreSexy: On the blog today: A little ditty on Acne and Frugality - what goes better than that??😆 . From the gang over at @OLDPo…

World's biggest lie: I'll start dieting tomorrow.

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

Be stronger than your strongest excuse

I don’t text you for my health…. Text me back!

No matter how big your house is, how new your car is, or how big your bank account is. Our graves will always be the same size. Stay humble.

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give." - Sir Winston Churchill

I used to like you… I still like you… But I used to too.

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself… And saying no to the extra bowl of ice cream.

I didn't get a new phone, I just didn't save your number.

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

An ordinary life doesn't interest me.

You text him. He doesn't text back. Obviously he was so excited that he fainted.

Sometimes, just sometimes, when people say 'forever', they mean it.

Creativity is maximized when you're living in the moment