Shannon Miller
@notthegymnast
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1,336
Following
1,306
Media
2,085
Statuses
27,435
Bibliophile, traveler, slow runner, dog lady, hard seltzer enthusiast, vegetarian. Product Lead by day. She/her.
STL via KC
Joined July 2009
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Send us removal request.
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My husband just called out a chin masker at Schnucks and the guy responded about it’s his first amendment right and my husband said “no it’s my first amendment right to tell you you’re an asshole” and so the guy walked away and put his mask on. I love this story and him.
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You guys ever think the US is the exact best place for this shit to spread? Because anytime somebody tries to set reasonable limits some red neck is going to act like a constitutional lawyer and Karen needs to get out for fucking church and Hobby Lobby?
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How it started ➡️ How it’s going. Excited as hell to accept an offer from St Louis City SC to be their Director of Digital Product.
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If you don’t wait at least three seconds to go when the light turns green just to be safe, do you even live in STL?
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The fact that society has proliferated gender reveal parties but not divorce showers is really disappointing because honestly NOW is the time I need a fuckin’ toaster and iron. Maybe a frivolous salt cellar just for my happiness.
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I found a baby pepper inside my red pepper. Do I need to consult the republicans about this?
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I’m in Pittsburgh and they have like a fuck ton of beautiful rivers. Real question is there any reason the STL riverfront and River can’t be less gross and more usable? People are riding jet skis! And yachts! On the river!
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Seeing the schnucks I go to on the national news because that’s where kids fled when their school was being shot up. This is an absurd country we live in.
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Putting in an offer tonight on a cute place near Lindenwood Park. Walkable to Trattoria Marcella. I think the neighbor is a cute old man so hopefully built in grandpa vibes. 🤞 your fingers.
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The best part of Friendsgiving is making friends watch
@BobsBurgersFOX
Thanksgiving reruns with me during cocktail hour.
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We’ve been doing some little weekend projects to spruce up the basement and finally finished this afternoon.
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My dude has been with me for 12 years. 7 moves. 4 jobs. Always there. Rest easy, my friend 🌈🐾❤️
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Me at the
@stlCITYsc
game in November to my boyfriend: ~LoOk aT all tHe cUtE hAtS tHeY hAvE~
Me at Christmas because he listened:
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Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French and FINALLY HAD A HOUSE OFFER ACCEPTED TODAY?! This moi.
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Why, exactly, did we have to learn how to square dance in junior high?
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Just spotted a turkey trotting down the sidewalk in Lindenwood Park. He seemed to know where he was headed. Good for him.
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First day of work photo ✅
Stadium tour ✅
Arch views ✅
Happy to officially join
@stlCITYsc
today.
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@Andy
Since apparently women can control their husbands according to Teresa, can she let us know how to also get them to put their dishes in the dishwasher instead of the sink? -Shannon in St Louis (but also all women everywhere)
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Just saw a mass of kids march out of a local HS protesting
#stockleyverdict
bc in 2017 we have made them question whether or not they matter
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Finally made our way over to Donut Drive In after living in the neighborhood for two years. We secured one of the last apple fritters because Twitter tells me those are the best.
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A CIA agent low key shamed me today for not knowing a god damn thing about my next door neighbor, including his name, when he interviewed me for the neighbor’s security clearance.
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Husband says we can’t get a Home Depot skeleton because we have nowhere to store it but I think that just means this is a great opportunity for Christmas skeleton, Easter skeleton, inauguration skeleton...
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I just told a drunk guy I’m Megan Rapinoe and he believed me?
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My boyfriend and I just unknowingly had our biggest relationship test by driving 18 hours round trip to Michigan with two dogs then spending a week in his family’s cabin with no wifi, no tv and limited cell service. Passed with flying colors.
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Good morning to everybody but ESPECIALLY the lady at the Dierbergs self checkout at 9am who held up her bottle of wine to the attendant and said “I’m old can I please buy this wine?” instead of showing her ID.
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The CEO of my company called me while I was in the middle of sending him a text and somehow when I was on the phone with him…my cheek pressed a bunch of buttons and this happened. Pardon me while I plan my own funeral.
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Every god damn person has Covid or was exposed to Covid this last week. Get yourself a saber, one of those giant champagne bottles and stay at home alone for NYE. That’s the only way.
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I just want to say in defense of Joe Biden I’m 33 and physically fit and I fell up the stairs just yesterday.
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Guys next month is my 12 year STL anniversary. Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to leave and just got sucked right back in? I mean I fucking love this dumb place now.
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I just spent 5 minutes trying to figure out where “The District of St Louis” is because some new pickleball courts are opening there. In an absolute misnomer, it’s in CHESTERFIELD and I’d like that 5 minutes of my life back.
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@Frank_Cusumano
@ksdknews
MAYBE just MAYBE our priorities are fucked and we should focus on, idk, ending this pandemic and WEARING A MASK. These are not normal times and we should stop trying to pretend they are.
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One of the things nobody talks about when you live alone is how great it is to have the exact right amount of shit left out on your kitchen counters. The exact. Right. Amount.
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Is hating overhead lights a generational thing? A gender thing? My bf keeps flipping on the overhead lights despite an abundance of CAREFULLY CURATED and AESTHETICALLY PLEASING vibe lighting. And I hate it.
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FUN STORY the first house I made an offer on this year - 2 bed, 1 bath, no garage - just sold. $278k. $53k over asking. What drugs are people taking? Is it bath salts again? That’s wild.
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Just got my 2nd Covid shot at the FEMA event at the dome. Super well organized and literally no wait. 👏👏👏
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What’s wild is
@stlCITYsc
said they wanted to hear from us on what food we want in stadium. And they listened and followed through. Now I get to eat from my actual favorite local restaurants while watching soccer tonight. I mean… this organization 👏
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I got promoted today. Tomorrow I’m off work and we’re getting a Sweet Art cake. Saturday is my birthday. Sunday the Chiefs play in the Super Bowl. I guess I’m having an okay time.
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AMC is responsible for a 50% decrease in productivity tomorrow because
#TheWalkingDead
fans CANT DEAL RIGHT NOW.
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Feeling cool because it’s Golden Gems crop top season + I just made an offer on a house 🤞
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Just as a general rule it is ill advised to, on the same day, begin filling out divorce paperwork alongside speaking with your vet about putting your dog down and organizing for closing on your house. I am what you might call emotionally bankrupt.
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Last beam going into the
@stlCITYsc
stadium and they let me put my name on it. I hope in 100 years nobody looking at it thinks it’s the gymnast’s signature though.
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Me trying to explain to my boyfriend how some of the people on 90 Day Fiancé: The Single Life are not actually OG 90 Day Fiancé people but the ex wives and sons of people who were on 90 Day.
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Compiling a list of all the RESPONSIBLE local restaurants we should do take out from this fall/winter. Hit me up with your recommendations. Right now my list is like 7 different pizza places.
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Yesterday I couldn’t stop thinking how ridiculous it is that we spend this much of our lives working. Just to maybe enjoy one day on the weekend with the people we love. And the other day worrying about going back to work.
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My husband & I just started playing pickle ball and this morning he told me if we played a real game he would win. I was once ejected from the lowest level of recreational adult coed soccer that exists in STL. I’m not sure he knows what sort of monster he has stirred inside me.
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My movers just got here. The lead asked me where I was from and I said KC. And he said oh did your parents move here? And I said no just me for 10 years. And he said oh can I ask how old you are. I said 34. He said he thought I was in my 20s. So he’s getting a good tip.
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My husband confused the term “hand job” in place of “manicure” earlier. I mean…close?
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I celebrate every victory now that I am living alone. Figured out how to reset the router? You go girl. Carried up all the groceries in one trip? Daaaaaamn woman. Put the fitted sheet on right the first try? Shannon for president.
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Costco update: cart is currently at $432. Got fancy mixed nuts. Alcoholic popsicles. Trident. Vinegar. Various meats. Berries. Olive oil. Dom Perignon. This place is great.
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WOODSY BOY HAS AN APPLICATION SOMEBODY APPLIED TO ADOPT HIM. I am so happy and so sad and I’m not crying we are all crying.
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Woods has a sleepover tomorrow night as a trial run with his potential adopter. Mischa is helping him practice the “sleep” part.
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Getting drunk and fat and sassy on Christmas cookie night. Woods is “helping.”
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Rarely have I felt more connected to my fellow humans than I do right now as we rage at Netflix over the
#loveisblind
reunion. I HAVE TO GET UP FOR WORK TOMORROW.
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Accidentally went to the dealership on the last day of the month and last day of the quarter with two hours to close. I left an SUV girlie.
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Please, god, you do NOT NEED AN APOSTROPHE IN YOUR CHRISTMAS WISHES. You are not “The Smith’s” you are just “The Smiths”.
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The serotonin boost of walking the dogs to buy coffee you could have made at your own house for 40% of the cost.
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My boyfriend has destroyed my YouTube tv algorithm by watching football on my account so GUESS WHOSE ACCOUNT ILL BE WATCHING HALLMARK CHRISTMAS MOVIES ON.
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WOODS UPDATE! My boy went to his forever home today. I mean I had to carry him to their car because he wouldn’t leave but he’s so happy and already so loved. If you need more Woods in your life, follow him on IG - he’s @ goodboiwoods.
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Figured out why there is black shit on the white dog’s head.
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Do you guys remember almost a year ago when this all started and puzzles were still fun, zoom happy hour was still cute and quirky and we all still had a soul? Boy what a time.
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Wore a polo shirt into Total Wine and a guy asked me if I worked there. So, cheers.
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My handyman is here to fix the cabinet and he keeps whispering “what did they do?” Which fills me with a ton of hope.
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Drove by the
@stlCITYsc
stadium today for (somehow) the first time. Can’t believe how stupid lucky I am to say I’ll be working there.
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Since I moved into my house last May, I’ve been convinced the movers were just wrong about my dresser not being able to fit upstairs so tonight my boyfriend and I tried it. It turns out they were right but that doesn’t mean I won’t want to try again in the future, probably drunk.
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All I want for Christmas is for a mother fucker to wave at me when I let them into my lane.
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Mischa was just wondering if you like her new patio lights.
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@deray
what does that even mean? How does on move too fast at an airport? Has he never seen that scene from Home Alone 2?
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Pardon me but have you met my handsome new friend named Drama? Yes his name is Drama. About 4 months old and adoptable through Home to Home Canine Orphanage.
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Good dog news! His spirits (and appetite) have improved with some medicine he started on Monday which may improve his quality of life for longer. My dude seems to be feeling good and eating good. Time is still short but ill stop eating the edges of his treats now 😂
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Me: *finally feels at peace after moving twice in four months, upending life and becoming single for the first time in over a decade*
The Universe: But what if - and hear me out - we make you put your dog down now?
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I accidentally ordered beets in my produce delivery box and my only knowledge of beets stems from the cartoon “Doug” where there’s a band called The Beets. So let me know what people do with beets.
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I don’t know how we don’t spend every waking moment taking about exactly how trash our healthcare system is.
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God damnit every dumb mother fucker who isn’t staying home needs to get their life together. I want to see my parents. I want to see my friends. I want to sit on a patio that isn’t my own and get so drunk I have to call my husband to pick me up. YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO RUIN SUMMER.
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Just came here to say...fuck Mike Parson. Please give cities the vaccine.
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I will say with everything I’m dealing with, it did feel good to flip off the pro life group out front of Planned Parenthood today. Might drive by again later just for the fun of it.
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Does anybody else have at least one drawer in the house that is stuffed full of random shit like twine and gloves and miniature tape measurers? But you always know you’ll find what you need in that drawer?
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My husband has recently started using Instagram and he forgot to take a picture of his ice cream sundae before eating it so now he’s very upset. He also just stated that his “followers demand quality content.”
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Not to brag but my boyfriend has lived here for one week and he already emptied the dishwasher without me asking and KNEW WHERE ALL THE THINGS WENT.
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I fucking love this dog but he’s deaf so he never gets to hear all the nice shit I say to him and it makes me kinda sad. So I just profusely give him the thumbs up sign and it makes him happy.
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IM GOING OUT TONIGHT AND I KNEW WHEN I GOT HOME ID WANT FOOD SO I MADE A QUICHE AND WHILE IT WAS COOLING I GUESS IT SMELLED SO GOOD THAT A MOTHER FUCKER HELPED HIMSELF
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Just gave a half hearted bark at somebody walking down the sidewalk.
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TBH I am no longer interested in Yuengling now that it’s accessible to me. This is also how I feel about men.
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