Heer Shingala ✍️👩🍳🤹♀️
@noheeriye
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Earlier this year, my ex got married to someone he met on Bumble. This weekend, my @bumble campaign went live in Ahmedabad. 💛. Ngl seeing my words on billboards across a city so close to my heart feels pretty amazing 😎🥰
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Alex Dunphy was packaged as the nerd of the show but her therapy session broke me. The amount of pressure she experienced and how she still didn't get the answer as to where it really stemmed from. It must be so exhausting being her.
one thing about sitcoms is that there’s always that one character that has some kind of deep unresolved trauma that gets completely overlooked for the laughs.
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This PMM from Spain got laid off so she made this video to stand out in the job market and I loveeee itttt. It's broken LinkedIn!
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Papa asked when I plan to get married so I asked him when he's going for a full body checkup with complete blood report. Defeat them at their own game. 👍.
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yes mumbai was damn expensive & i lived in a shoe box but in 2017 i was buying mangoes in parle east & i realised i was short on cash & Paytm was glitching (early UPI days) so the vendor let me keep udhaar coz he overheard me tell my mom i was buying the 1st mango of the season.
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When Phil calls her a self cleaning robot because she recognises that she had a breakdown and books her own therapy session 😭 my brother in Christ no 16 year old should have to look out for themselves like that.
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Her family kept asking her to chill out and they'd crack jokes like "take care of the smart one, she's going to be rich" but she was so fuckin different from them it must've made her feel so alone.
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Got my bio data turned down because I earn more than the guy. Everyone please congratulate me on dodging a bullet.
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My deepest sympathies to the cameraman from AD who had to keep a straight face when Sonam said this. Rich people can really get away with anything.
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sorry my therapist said I can't be your long term, long distance, low commitment, casual girlfriend.
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This one time, things didn't work out with an ex due to reasons outside our control but we still had very strong feelings for each other so we would meet every week despite having broken up and he showed up with flowers every single time we met after the official breakup.
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Why are so many idiots asking Deepinder what Zomato'll do if people game the system by cancelling the order and buying it back for half price?. The primary marketing material clearly calls out that the first customer will pay 100% cancellation fees. Guy has mad patience.
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Look at her dating history too! She has secret relationships with people she wouldn't be seen with even in front of her family. Whether it's her being a pre-beard or dating Ben, her mom's assistant, she makes poor decisions and knows she's making them.
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It's 2030. You wake up on your JioBed in your JioStay to JioLexa blasting JioArti in your ears, take a shower in Jioguar bathroom, pour a cup of JioCaffeine, open your JioBook powered by JioWifi & log on to JioServer. Bell rings, it's your JioKirana. India is finally developed 👍.
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The nerd trope is often simultaneously a misfit too, but being one while surrounded by the Dunphy & Pritchett family makes the comparison more severe somehow.
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Shoutout to the construction worker behind my house playing lolipop laagelu at full blast who, when asked by me to turn the music down, yelled back "OKAY MEDUM", proceeded to turn the speaker off and started singing instead.
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Zepto suffered a net loss of 1,272.4 Cr in FY23, while Dmart booked a profit of 623.35 Cr.
Dmart will fail in India because of Zepto, but how can a 2-year-old company Zepto affect a giant like Dmart? . Zepto was launched 2 years back, in FY 23 They clocked more than 2000 crores in revenue. To put that into perspective Dmart took 9 to 10 years to reach the revenue mark.
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Life doesn't get better OR worse - it gets BOTH, simultaneously. You discover joys you couldn't fathom and survive lows you didn't know existed.
as you got older you realised?.
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Dating someone who's not on ig so I save all the reels I want them to see and show them in person like it's the 18th century.
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Mumbai has the biggest heart of any other city I've lived in. The source of kindness is often strangers as opposed to familiar faces because nobody has time to be consciously kind. So when ppl see someone in need, they quickly help & move on, rarely waiting for a 'thank you'.
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Once when my ex & I were going through a rough patch, his BFF called him with some romantic woes so he gave her some advice & made her feel better. After he hung up, I asked "why can't you be my agony aunt!?" and he gave me a lopsided grin and said "because baby I am your agony".
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If you live with your partner, irrespective of how things are, you should have 1 friend in the same city with whom you can crash indefinitely with zero notice. Not a cousin or a family member, a FRIEND. I hope you never need this, but simply having this option is very freeing.
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In 1926, Agatha Christie abandoned her car on a road & went missing. After an elaborate search, ~2 weeks later, she was found at a spa, under her husband's ex-girlfriend's name. 15 months later, her husband married the said ex-gf. It's a REAL story not unlike one of her books:.
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I accused my fiancé of using weaponised incompetence against me, and he said he didn't know what it meant. Explained it, and now he's pretending he still doesn't understand it. It's 2x Weaponised Incompetence™.
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Asking for an offer letter in hand before resigning from your current job is due diligence. Nothing to do with being a brown kid.
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Attended a wedding recently and got this return gift. AMA.
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A friend of mine quit famous ad agency Tentsu because of extreme toxicity and the global HR leaders were looped in and they said "pls file an official complaint, we've received plenty unofficial ones already but need something on paper to change culture" and my friend goes.
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ROI on complimenting men is through the roof. I once told a guy he looked good in white and he was in white every time I saw him for monthssssss.
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Nobody wants you to be married as bad as your friend who married their high school love. They can't fathom how you go about life. They've told the same person about their day for a decade. Sure, they got lucky, but they also don't know what it takes to be you:.
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But today I'm eating the first mango of this year, so I'm sending out a small thank you for that parle east vendor. 💫 As I do every year.
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Whenever I crib about having to work on my period, mom tells me that when she first got married, her MIL wouldn't let her leave her room when she was on her period. And so my mother, a voracious reader, started looking forward to her period because she got to read all day. 🤣🤣.
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Rapido bot calling me to make sure I reached my destination safe: "Hello, press 1 if you reached safely". Kidnapper who took my phone when they grabbed me: *presses 1*.
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So you've finally figured out how to make friends in a new city. Turns out it's easy, you've just gotta listen with kindness. And avoid telling them the bits of your childhood and family life that usually makes people look at you with pity, and leave them strangling for words. .
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Reader, he didn't show up empty handed once. And when I told him to stop spending so much money, he put a lock of my hair behind my ear and said "If it's the last time we meet, I want to keep the memory of your eyes lighting up at the sight of flowers fresh in my mind." 🥹.
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In Masaan, when Vicky says "tab bhi aap humko hi bataiyega :) " he lowkey tells her that he believes in open & transparent communication. In this essay I will.
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As someone currently planning the wedding, my sincerest, purest advice to anyone looking to get married is to ensure that your future in-laws and your parents have zero languages in common. They should never exchange a single word, ever.
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Last week, I was at Bob's JP Nagar and someone asked for my number. Told them I live in Whitefield and I saw them weigh the pros and cons on their face 🤣🤣🤣.
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Hard launched for parents, soft launch for y'all 💍
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Heartiest congratulations to everyone who made it to 30 under 30 Forbes list for being able to afford the award. There are worse ways to spend investor money.
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If you want to fall in love, I suggest getting into a situationship and then finding a rebound to get over the said situationship because nobody penetrates your heart deeper than the temporary cuffle who was supposed to simply ease your heartache.
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Sprangling my legs on a large empty bed one night after another in my late 20s is sad but I've been at the receiving end of so much warmth and affection over the years, that I'm convinced that there's the right kind of love out there. Love that's right, and love that'll stay. 💫.
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Compared to that, Bangalore is allowing me to grow roots. I feel more in charge of my life in blr, and I needed it in my late 20s. All in all, just extremely grateful that I've had the privilege to pack my bags and move whenever I've felt like it.
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The meditation app @calm bought 30 seconds of primetime election day adspace and did this. Such a standout ad! Bound to build excellent recall. Shows enormous faith in their own branding to do something like this. Source: @deanbphillips
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There's been a power cut in my building since 8:30 pm (so 2 hours) There are 3 1BHKs on my floor occupied by myself, a chip designer chick, and a dev bro respectively. We have been sitting around, chatting, playing Uno, drinking. I am really in awe of the life I've created. 💛.
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Does blr have a shady bar culture? I want 100% pure gossip, cheap beer, and masala papad next to a table of college kids.
not now babe, it’s masala papad in a shady bar at midnight time
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Right after my first bf broke up with me, he sent me an email with quote-worthy things I'd written to him over the months. It was a Keep note titled "Heer's Quotes". Amidst the embarassing & sinking heaviness of being dumped, a part of me noticed that someone saved. .
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Met this guy at Indiranagar Toit monthsssss ago, flirted a bit, got bored, unfollowed him. Turns out we are going to work together next week onwards. 🤡.
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The funniest part was my flatmates answering the door to a well-dressed, flowers-bearing man every week for their supposedly single flatmate 🤣.
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"fuck you, it's not my job to help you change and go through the trouble of official routes" and leaves. Lmao so proud of him.
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Okay controversial opinion but there's an upside to taking a hit on your lifestyle and living in a metro on a tight budget. It is an important part of growing up. You learn budgeting, side hustles, jugaad. Things you won't learn in your parents' protective bubbles.
Why are fresher salaries so low? How is someone supposed to survive on it in a metro city? With 50k a month you'll barely have any savings. Not everyone can take money from their families!.
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So you've spent a decade outside the small town you grew up in. And now there's no discernible difference between you & your friends who grew up in metros. After all, y'all went to similar colleges. Even if the cultural differences when you went to uni shocked you into inaction.
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Dads waiting for the rest of the family to go to the free hotel breakfast after waking up & getting dressed at 6 AM
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Really grateful to GenZ for teaching me terms like 'seen zone' and 'situationships'. Warna main to iss phase ko "baji padi hai band heer ki, ab iss band main nache kaun" bulati.
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Somewhere in a marketing team in India the senior brand manager is asking for a Relevance Room.
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Dating is all about people with a fear of commitment passing it on to those willing to commit through situationships, thus bringing down the average propensity to commit.
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I just got fired from Meta today. I was the PM responsible for getting their new text based app 70M new users in the first ~24 hours.
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10/10 for self-awareness. We both burst out laughing. He's married now & we're as solid friends as exes can be, and we have quarterly agony aunt sessions. Full Aquarius behaviour on my part.
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So you caught yet another flight from 'home' to 'home', and there have been a couple of homes in other cities along the years. The only constant is the lack of a constant every single time. Sometimes, you call the same person multiple times in a row every time you land.
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He got married to someone else this weekend. 😂.
Sent my flatmate and an ex colleague on a blind date and they hit it off. Complete fireworks.💥 So now I've got the matchmaking bug and I'm setting up a friend with a current colleague.
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I should have kept a 6-month emergency liquid fund to be able to say "fuck you" and quit immediately.
What's the most important lesson you learned from the job you hated the most?.
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TIL Pantone, the company makes 50% of its revenue selling colour guidebooks to designers, marketers, artists, etc. and because the colours change due to oxidisation every few years, the same people buy these v v expensive books again! Talk about repeat sales! 😲
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Marrying this man in less than a month 😭🥳.
The sluttiest thing a man can do is pull out a clean handkerchief from his pocket.
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Real literature gf is single and goes alone to Blossoms 😔 so all she has is a photo of the books
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Update 😯
This PMM from Spain got laid off so she made this video to stand out in the job market and I loveeee itttt. It's broken LinkedIn!
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This one time we spent 1 full hour convincing my 5-y-o nephew to turn off the TV because we were getting late to go out. Finally, his mother (my sis) had had enough and told all of us to leave her alone with him and sit in the car.
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Went missing on our 5th wedding anniversary, framed my husband for my murder with the help of a fake diary, got robbed, asked my high school bf for help, stabbed him, went back to my husband, got pregnant for real, and arm wrestled him into staying with me.
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Thinking about the time this guy didn't let me pay my half on the first date and later when I said I don't wanna go out with him again, he sent a GPay request for my share. I really know how to pick them 😂.
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*flirting very hard* ."I bought you a new book, it's a hardcover.".
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Whenever people send me a 👍 I go check their age to figure out if it was an insult.
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Been consuming regular TV these days. There are 2 soaps on Sony back-to-back 8 to 9 pm. The current plot in both of them is sexual misconduct at the workplace and yes, you guessed it right, the men are falsely accused in both of them. In both cases, men are the protagonists too.
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"A much bigger problem is the lack of obstacles for incompetent men."
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revived her fame, earned a lot of money, then got divorced, and married someone else. What a woman 😅.
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In summers, I EAT my protein. Greek yoghurt + Fresh Alphonso Mango + 1 scoop Banana Whey Protein . It tastes like frozen aamrakhand ( mango shrikhand) 😋
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A dating app for ppl between 20-35 who've moved from Bombay to Blr so we can all miss the shoebox-sized houses & street food & marine drive and crib about the absence of public transport and when the locals have had enough, they know who to kick out.
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If you're ever feeling stuck at work, @Atlassian's got a brilliant blog + resources section. Very succinct, clearly written to deliver value, and not for SEO. 10/10 recommend.
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This one time my therapist said "it's better to sleep alone than to marry someone and turn away from each other and sleep for the rest of your lives" and I think about it a lot.
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@kritipraa Oh man, it is sheer privilege to walk around in a city at 2 am knowing nobody will lay a finger on you. Is this how men feel in most cities? 😭.
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Okay but how strange is it that after friendships end due to whatever reasons, we do not get a fuckin award for surviving without said friends. Where is my award for pulling myself out of an overthinking loop without the help of someone whose literal job it was to do it?.
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I make my grocery list on Chiggy and share it with the neighbourhood supermarket. 😂
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I’m getting married this year but sadly not to my very first love. Mangesh Vada Pav in Borivali, you will always have my heart.
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@0xKD @adityaagrw @r0h1n "That's how it works" is not always equal to "It's the right thing to do". They should take explicit permission before taking out a loan.
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I have been on countless first dates in the last 2 years so I had absolutely no hopes left, I was just doing my friend a favour by agreeing to meet her friend. But then we had the most magical date EVER, it lasted several hours & we connected on so many levels and then I woke up.
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As a writer working in tech, I was not prepared for this attack 🤣🤣 credits: /techroastshow on ig.
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Dumb takes on this app everyday.🤦♀️ Saying 'court side fit' and the clothes they're wearing is not an indication of wealth they think it is. That's how genz talks, and fancier clothes have become a lot cheaper due to fast fashion + online. Just check the prices Myntra or Meesho.
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Whenever I think of my dadi in my mom's context, I call her "mom's MIL" in my head. Partly because it made it easier to overlook her behaviour with mom, given she treated me quite differently ofcourse. So I go "my mom's MIL said this to her" and "dadi cut me a mango". 🤷♀️.
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Dating to marry never worked for me. And God knows I tried. When you date to marry, via self-selection, you pick others who are also dating to marry, and you're both too busy ticking off 🗒️ from a list, so you never end up becoming friends. I know so many arranged couples who.
You know what’s ironic everyone around me who “dates to marry” are still single and anxious while those who “date for fun” are getting married:. The first group have their eyes fixed on the future so they put up with things they’re not okay with until things fall apart. The.
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something I wrote. For months leading upto that day, he had encouraged me to write more for months, but it was always a hobby. The fact that he had saved something I had written so long ago made me realise my worth.
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to develop meaningful friendships that would be backup family if needed, to go to the doctor alone because you're in a new city and you can only ask your new friends so many favours, to scroll through your recents & wonder who'd offer the most comforting words in your.
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