Noah Michelson
@noahmichelson
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Head of @HuffPost Personal. Host of Am I Doing It Wrong? podcast. DMs open. [email protected]
New York City
Joined September 2011
If "alt-left" means you oppose white supremacy, sign me the fuck up.
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Greenpeace has scaled a crane to make a very public protest. I'm devastated that this image has to exist but I'm ecstatic that it does.
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This story of forced birth is a literal nightmare and it foreshadows what so many others will face with #RoeVsWade now overturned. People will die -- physically, but also mentally and emotionally and it'll affect generations to come in unthinkable ways.
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I just saw a Reddit post by someone with extreme anxiety asking how to order a sandwich at Subway because they've never tried it and someone replied and wrote out step-by-step instructions without being snarky or judgmental and it's the kindest, sweetest thing I've seen in months.
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Hold up for just a second:. Before we continue fighting about how Jesus feels about the legality of tearing kids from their parents. Can we back up and discuss the fact that the Bible isn’t the document we’re supposed to be consulting in order to run our country?.
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Today my old boss, @ariannahuff, texted me with “a task” for me, which was weird, as I don’t work for her anymore and we haven’t talked in years, but I agreed and then she suddenly stopped responding and I don’t know why!
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Let's make this really simple and clear:. If you claim, as JK Rowling does, that trans women should not be in spaces designated for women, you are saying that trans women are not really women. That is transphobic. We shouldn't support people who are transphobic. The end.
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Since @billmaher refused to fact-check Milo Yiannopoulos' litany of lies about trans people, I did it for him
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The woman across the aisle on this plane ordered herself a mini bottle of champagne and is watching an ancient episode of Law and Order SVU and she couldn’t look any more content and I am sucking up every ounce of her energy and using it as my vision board from here on out.
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It's just now sinking in that there are MILLIONS of people voting for Trump. Not 2 or 16 or 53 people -- Millions. How is this reality?.
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Dolly Parton is continually offering a master class on how to be a stellar human being and she doesn't even charge for it
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You know what would be great?. If we flushed toilets using a foot pedal. If it’s not an automatic flusher, wouldn’t you rather use your shoe than your hand to do it?.
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Can someone explain why it's OK to have an avowed "pussy grabber" in The White House but not OK to have trans people in public bathrooms?.
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If you're freaking out because you don't think @taylorswift13 deserves a @glaad award: . The woman doesn't need our money or our clout and still, she's donated tons to our community, promoted the Equality Act, and made an entire song/video dedicated to us. You need to calm down.
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I just saw two friends who’ve been together and madly in love for over a decade and they told me the secret to a good relationship is “whoever cares the most about something wins — if you don’t really care, let the other person have their way” and it seems so simple but so smart.
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If you care about queer people ― or you yourself are queer ― you have absolutely no business eating at Chick-fil-A. Ever. It’s really that straightforward.
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Tonight SNL is pushing harder to resist what's going on in America than it has ever pushed before and it's nothing short of stunning.
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A few weeks ago I posted about seeing Fashion Plates -- the girls’ toy from my childhood I was obsessed with -- in my feed and how I hadn’t thought about them in decades and someone told me they’re on eBay, so I found a few and got them framed and look how sweet it turned out
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Adele performing George Michael's ode to casual gay sex is something I never thought I'd ever see but my life is infinitely better for it.
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This story is absolutely devastating and the only piece that has ever made me cry while I was editing it. I can only imagine the kind of superhuman strength it takes to go through this -- and then speak publicly about it -- but I'm grateful that Dina did.
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"Youth and beauty are not accomplishments" -- Carrie Fisher.
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When people ask me why I care about the death of someone I didn't even "know"
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America in a nutshell:. Today millions of queers woke up knowing nine judges will consider the legality of firing them for something they didn’t choose and can’t help while millions of non-queers woke up safe in their jobs based on something they didn’t choose and can’t help.
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At the very least, I'll always be grateful to @LadyGaga for putting "transgender" in a song & forcing people to hear it every time it plays.
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What do you do when you're terrified about the future of the country you love?. The author of this new @HuffPost Personal piece just became a Satanist in hopes of helping to secure abortion rights and democracy in America.
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I recently caught up with one of my favorites, @HayleyKiyoko, to chat about the politics of grinding with @taylorswift13, her #VMA noms and what's up with her love life (spoiler alert: things are looking up for her) #20GayTeen.
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If you don't know @HayleyKiyoko, don't worry -- you will soon. She is making some of the best (and queerest) pop music out there today. In my new interview with her we talk about wanting to do all the things guys get to do, dating and more. #LesbianJesus.
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Sarah Jessica Parker says she isn't a feminist because she "doesn't qualify" but here's the thing: we ALL qualify. That's the entire point.
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This is the most inspiring thing you're going to see all week. I promise. #SomedayIWantToBeEvenHalfAsMuchOfABadassAsMaxineWaters
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The only way I'm going to be into Justin Timberlake's Super Bowl performance is if he walks out, grabs his mic and says, "I'd like to publicly apologize to Janet Jackson -- and now, here she is to do the halftime show without me!" and then disappears via a trapdoor in the floor.
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Though I’m not a huge fan of kids, there are few things I find hotter than seeing a dad being tender to his kid and I used to worry that meant I do want kids but I think it just means I want a guy who will rub my back and give me a handful of Honey Nut Cheerios when I get grouchy.
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I respect Hillary for "going high" instead of "going low" but does anyone else just want her to knee him in the nuts and walk off the stage?.
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There are four dads and a dozen kids playing kickball on the playground next to my apartment building and they are exuding such a pure happiness that I swear I could feel it softly lapping up against me as I passed them and for those 18 seconds nothing was wrong in the world.
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Meryl quoting Carrie Fisher and telling us to make our broken hearts into art is exactly what we must remember every day in this new America.
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Today, on the 4th anniversary of the #Pulse massacre, in a week when @jk_rowling devoted herself to transphobia, in a month dedicated to rebellion and liberation, there’s no better time to reaffirm that being queer is both radical and beautiful and we aren’t going anywhere.
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Tim Curry turning 75 today seems like a good occasion to make a bold, but I think completely accurate, statement:. Clue is the best movie ever made.
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The fact that Hillary isn't rolling around on the ground laughing her ass off right now shows what a "winning temperament" she has.
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Hey attention seekers: Careful what you wish for. Karma is a bitch. Reap what you sow & take this as a warning - we are ravenous for justice
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One more way you know Rachel @Maddow is a total bad ass? Her guest just called her "sir" and her response? "I answer to both." Yes, sir!.
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Right, Trump. Every woman dreams of becoming famous by coming forward and saying they were sexually assaulted.
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It's impossible to overstate @Madonna's importance. Not just in pop music but the doors she kicked down and the ceilings she broke through and the places she went that no one else with her level of fame was going . She wasn't perfect but she was fearless and she changed the world.
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I've never had even the slightest interest in going to a sporting event but the chance to see Trump's face crumple on a jumbotron as he realizes he's being booed, once again, by thousands of American citizens could change that.
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Privilege is Ellen DeGeneres explaining her friendship with George Bush by saying "just because I don’t agree with someone on everything doesn’t mean I’m not gonna be friends with them," as if what they disagree about is who was best dressed at the Emmys or what the best mayo is.
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The new Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher doc has (even if only briefly) renewed my faith in the beauty and potential of human relationships.
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Trans vet Carla Lewis is a total badass. Read her take on Trump's military trans ban:
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I suggest we all find a public bathroom wherever we are and go and have sex in it with a stranger tonight to properly honor George Michael.
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Reminder:. Melania is not a victim. Melania is not an ally . Melania is not fierce. Melania is not charming. Melania is not innocent. Melania is complicit.
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Beware women who tell other women the answer to America's problems is for them to embrace a return to "modesty" and their rightful role in the "traditional family.". They are the enemy.
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So. "SNL" is going to take Saturday night off and NBC will just rerun the president's press conference from today, right? HOW IS THIS REAL?.
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Two years ago today, in the middle of COVID, I “went on” a video date with @BenjiSJones and I had no idea what was waiting for me or how Benji would change me and my life and who knows what’s ahead of us but if it’s even a fraction as good as the last two years, bring it on
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@wtfcali_ @ariannahuff Sweetie — it wasn’t really her. It was a scammer trying to get gift cards.
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Pandemic confession:. I had a 1st date and we got high before we met and went for a walk and he was awful and I was too stoned and there was a crowd and he didn’t see this tiny dog and he kicked it into the air and everyone started screaming and I just ran and never looked back.
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Last night I dreamt I had sex with Rihanna and because I’ve very, very gay, I didn’t actually dream about us engaged in the physical act, I just knew we had sex, but, because I’m very, very human and it was Rihanna, I also knew it was the best sex I had ever had or will ever have.
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Here's what the US government just said to trans kids: 1) We don't believe you 2) We don't believe in you 3) We don't care if all of you die.
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Thank you for being our friends (and changing our lives): 25 years ago today the last episode ever of "The Golden Girls" aired
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The #BruceJenner interview is perhaps the best done thing on trans issues I've seen in mainstream TV media. I'm honestly shocked and amazed.
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Kristen Stewart called herself "so gay" on SNL last night. Here's why I think it matters
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I have always loved @KathyGriffin but this is some next level shit right here and it’s worth taking two and a half minutes and reading every single word of her analysis of what happened at the White House Correspondents Dinner last night. I got chills.
A) Ok I have some thoughts on @michelleisawolf's act and the reaction to it from members of the press and other DC insiders. For the record, I was in the room last night. @michelleisawolf's set was great. She was hilarious and confident.
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As a kid, whenever someone published an anti-abortion op-ed in our local paper, my mom sent a donation to Planned Parenthood in their name, so they'd get a thank you note, and her master class in productively and classily saying "fuck you" to our enemy continues to inspire me.
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Worst sitcom ever?. Fraiser. No question. No competition. That theme song alone guarantees it.
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Never forget — especially today, exactly 50 years after #Stonewall — that what that bar full of fed up queers was rioting for was NOT acceptance. They were rioting to say we’re perfect exactly as we are and we won’t waste another second begging for your permission to simply exist.
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Hey @LadyGaga! Girl! We're begging you to turn your Super Bowl halftime show into a protest. You in?
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If you’re a white person in America and you woke up today and weren’t thinking about the racism and white nationalism in this country and, more importantly, what you’re going to do to about it, that’s a luxury courtesy of your white privilege and it’s way past time to address it.
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Dear TERFs:. Surgery doesn't make someone a woman .Hormones don't make someone a woman.Clothes don't make someone a woman.A uterus or breasts don't make someone a woman.A doctor saying "it's a girl" doesn't make someone a woman. A woman knowing she's a woman makes her a woman.
Macy Gray tells Piers Morgan: 'Just because you change your body parts doesn't make you a woman'
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OK. At the count of three we're all going to pinch ourselves and say, "This is just a dream." . And then we're going to wake up. Right?.
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Pence: "I try and spend a little time on my knees every day." . THIS IS THE FIRST THING HE'S SAID THAT I ACTUALLY CAN RELATE TO.
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Did this week feel especially long and at times completely awful?. Here — bleach your brain with this 20-second video of a ridiculously sweet and determined puppy I just saw playing in the fountain at the @brooklynmuseum
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There's no way to explain any of this -- the election, climate change, the Kardashians -- to our children except to just say "We're sorry.".
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Can everyone who claimed Trump loves queer people because he once held up a rainbow flag FINALLY admit how foolish and wrong they were?.
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If Trump signs a "religious freedom" executive order, this country will EXPLODE. That's not a threat, it's a PROMISE. Get yourselves ready.
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I just read a new report that @ChickfilA is still (surprise!) donating to anti-LGBTQ orgs, so, I figured it was a good time to reshare this piece I wrote last year. If you're queer or support queer people, it's (past) time to find a new chicken sandwich.
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I'm heartbroken. I'm furious: It's 2016 and two men kissing is still a stunning, terrifying sight
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Be wary of the narrative that you should have some big splashy dream you’re constantly trying to make come true . Living a life that allows you to be with the people you love and do the things you love with as little hurt as possible is a perfectly wonderful thing to want.
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Not only is @HayleyKiyoko making some of the best pop music out there, she's a queer woman of color making unashamedly queer pop music -- and videos! -- and that's absolutely radical (in every sense of the word) and absolutely what America needs right now.
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Hey @IvankaTrump: We need to have a little chat. It's time for you to decide which side of history you'll stand on
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There's no way it should be this close. Half of me wants to vomit right now. the other half of me wants to chug a drano milkshake.
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"Sometimes you can only find Heaven by slowly backing away from Hell." -- Carrie Fisher on finding happiness.
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I've never written about this before but Halloween seemed like the right time. I still can't explain what happened that day but it was one of the strangest, saddest, most incredible experiences of my life and taught me so much about loss, grief and love.
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I love this new @HuffPost Personal piece because it echoes something my dad instilled in me: . When you give to folks living on the streets, do it because you want them to have a bit of comfort and however they find that comfort is up to them -- not you.
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If your first response to someone telling their story about being sexually assaulted is:. A. But he was drinking!.B. He agreed to go home with him!.C. He just wants attention!.D. I've met [assaulter's name]. He would never do something like that!. You are part of the problem.
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My advice for every day going forward: tell the story of who you are and what you love and refuse to be erased. It matters. We matter.
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Hey non-queer people! . Our recruitment drives are going splendidly. You'd better watch your backs.
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I woke up at 3am and wrote this. Dear queer America: Here is what we do now that Trump will be president .
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You can hate what @KathyGriffin did. But here are my thoughts on why you should defend her anyway.
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Hey @VanJones68!. Just wanted to make sure you saw this really lovely piece we published today. Thanks for all you do and bringing every part of yourself when you do it.
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If you're not SCREAMING about what's happening in America right now you are co-signing the crimes that are being committed. OPEN YOUR MOUTH!.
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FYI: It's not OK to shame someone for liking golden showers but it's perfectly OK to shame them for being a lying, sexual-assaulting bigot.
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If Trump's advisers REALLY think a dance with Caitlyn Jenner will help endear him to queers, they're even more out of touch than I thought.
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If @realDonaldTrump wins, I'm not moving to Canada -- I'm teleporting to where The Berenstain Bears is still spelled 'Berenstein.' Come too?.
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A quick note for everyone tweeting at me about how @jk_rowling isn’t a transphobe and how she’s just standing up for “women’s rights” and how I’m trying to silence women:. I drink TERF tears and spittle at every meal and I sleep soundly at night dreaming sweet anti-TERF dreams.
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Let's be real: If Jesus showed up on Thursday and saw Donald Trump signing a "religious freedom" executive order he would lose. his. shit.
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