Ngaio Bealum
@ngaio420
Followers
25,445
Following
6,833
Media
5,897
Statuses
135,156
The Dank Diplomat. Cannabis expert on #cookingonhigh . Comedian, writer, juggler, musician, parent, activist, great cook. Hard beats and soft drugs. Oon-Guy-Yo.
CITY OF TREES!
Joined February 2009
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Hey, before y'all all leave, please head over to my
@Patreon
page. It's cheap and fun. I'm just starting to load stuff.
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Cost of a root canal in Barcelona: $450
Cost of a root canal in Sacramento: $2200
Round trip ticket to Barcelona: $800
Hotel and food for 3 days in Barcelona: $600
I could fly to Barcelona, get a root canal, and have money left when I got back. American health care is a scam.
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Technically, this is a sloppy Josè
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@ericlavelle_
I'm 53. I used to comment like: "Dang" or "Unfair". But I'm learning from the youngins, so now I say: "Respectfully 👀"
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When you believe in peace and love but you aint here for the fuckery.
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Smoke a joint first. It will taste like heaven.
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@iEXpressMe
@ericlavelle_
Sheeit. Shoot your shot 2021 is in full effect! Besides: I said "Respectfully".
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You dab it. But you should probably sit down first. It has no real flavor, but a small dab will flatten you.
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Who here is old enough to remember when cannabis had seeds?
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Is this a pornhub title?
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@indigogloves
WHY ARE THEY HATING ON THE RYE CHIPS?!?!?!?!? THE RYE CHIPS ARE THE BEST PART!!!!!!!!
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My favorite line from the public comment during the LA police commission meeting:
"I know you're all having a rough day, what with everyone here telling you you're bad at your jobs. Have you considered being good at your jobs?"
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@Hannahwalters0
@gatewaypundit
Really? Having a fantastic and voluminous vocabulary precludes you from having had a upbringing best described as "impecunious"? Hmmmm. My experience as an impoverished yet well read person refutes your specious claim. Try again.
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"Is you taking notes on a criminal fucking conspiracy?" - Stringer Bell.
NEW: Documentary footage shows Roger Stone working behind the scenes to overturn the 2020 election and secure preemptive pardons for himself, Republicans in Congress and the pro-Trump movement after the Jan. 6 riot
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@FresnoGrizzlies
So. Did anyone get fired? Who was responsible for selecting this video? Are they still employed? Who was in charge of the programming? Are they still employed? What steps have you taken to make sure something like this never happens again?
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If you want a 2nd season on
#cookingonhigh
please watch the episodes all the way through. It helps the algorithms or something. That's what I heard. And each episode is like 15 minutes. Easy.
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@jedijamesdean
@swimmintink
Um, wouldn't you earn a degree by doing the work required to pass the tests? Why should having to pay for college even be a thing?
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Smoking a bowl on K street while waiting for the bus. Two Sheriffs walk right through my cloud. And dont say a word. One of them even nods at me. CA legalization isnt perfect, but wow.
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THERE IS NO WAY TO OVERDOSE ON CANNABIS. WEED WILL NOT KILL YOU.
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@EdFromVA
@crybaby_angela
@uhhbre
I stare out the window like a dope fiend waiting on door dash to pull up
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Smartest characters in Marvel Comics in order:
Moon Girl
Shuri
Tony Stark
Riri
Reed Richards
Bruce Banner
Dr. Doom
Fight me
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Retweet if you are a productive stoner. Im tryna see something.
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I will remind you that it was the fucking stoners that got weed legalized. These corporate ass mainstreamers ain't have shit to do with it.
#stonersgetshitdone
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No, YOU got stoned and ordered a dozen biscuits from Popeyes.
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@DavdWayne
@ranaethevirgo
@IssaB0ss
David, you are a willfully ignorant dumbass. Please refrain from speaking.
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@juliacbbee
10? My kids boosted a bunch of my 20-25 year old vintage tshirts from various concerts and festivals. I still have clothes for the 80's in my closet.
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Today is my Birthday. Please send money or nudes or both. Thank you. My dms are open. Yes, I am incorrigible.
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My daughter just graduated from Sarah Lawrence College. Because she is a badass.
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Lately, when leaving a town, I've taken to hiding weed for my friends in random spots and then sending them pics of where to find it. I call it
#geohashing
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@realDonaldTrump
How many Canadian and Irish illegals do you have in the camps right now? Or is it only brown people?
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I'm not a businessman,
I'm a business, man!
My prerolls are ready. Ask for them at your favorite California dispensary. Find them at the High Times cup this weekend. "I heart Canna" - Booth A15. Yee!
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@TheKitchenista
My son calls me by my first name whenever he really wants my attention. Been doing it since he was like 6. It's hilarious.
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I am trying to remain calm on my TL because I have a lot of new followers and a show to promote. But I am not sure how long I can refrain from blasting this current administration.
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RT if you think every single federal employee being forced to work without pay should go on strike.
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Sativa, Indica, and hybrids, I think.
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Ding dong, the prick is dead
Which old prick?
That racist prick!
Ding dong, the racist prick is dead!
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Apparently, I have gone somewhat viral. Thank you to all my new followers. I don't have a SoundCloud, but I do have a really good podcast. Please listen.
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@Vanessid
@bad_dominicana
Right? My cousin tried these and his testicles swelled up and he had to cancel his wedding. No lie.
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Can you imagine how much cooler this country would be if it was run by stoners instead of drunks?
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So. Once again, a majority of white people from all walks of life voted for trump. Y'all should be embarrassed.
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@DrKCalbert
@AyeitsAnissa
@ParissAthena
Double the ticket price. Yesterday's price ain't today's price.
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I am tired. Today I am filling my timeline with weed, sex, and shameless self promotion. Just so you know.
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TBT to when
@joshleyva
and I hosted the first cannabis cooking show on Netflix.
#cookingonhigh
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You put your weed in there
Someone gave me a Bonne Maman sampler for Christmas, and now I need ideas for what to do with these tiny, adorable jars. They are too cute to throw away!
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@bigmonbubbles
@murderxbryan
As a jam band enthusiast, she has a point. A lot of these Jam bands don't really jam.
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