Nathalie Antonia
@natsantonia
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Comedy Writer/Improviser: BBC/BBC3/Comedy Central/R4/Sky. Also writes w/ @aliceetches . Rep'd by a good egg (Michael Ford) @hatch_talent . I have very long toes.
LA. LONDON
Joined August 2011
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Pinned Tweet
To my writer friends. Just keep going. I was rejected over 48 times before I got my 49th rejection.
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I don't know who needs to hear this but you will never need these. Throw them away.
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Being an adult is saying to yourself "once I get this week out of the way I'll be less stressed" FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
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Had a baby 5 weeks ago and I'm already back to my pre - pregnancy weight... AND she's sleeping through the night. Absolutely amazing what you can accomplish when you lie.
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airport:
them: sadly your bag is 1 KG over
me 5 minutes later:
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Writers. If you feel like giving up. Please give up. There are too many of us.
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10 years ago I had all but £5 in my bank. My dream was to one day buy my own house with money I had made from being an artist. Today I'm picking up the keys to my friends house... so that I can feed her cat while she's on holiday. She's doing really well.
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I don't know who needs to hear this but you will never need all of these. Throw them away
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Best clapback of the century goes to
@Kathbum
"I didn't get porcelain skin by not recognizing shade, Imvan". 👏
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Just cancelled my gym membership because the only piece of equipment I use has been taken away. Anyone know where I can buy a cheap vending machine?
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13 years ago I had all but £5 in my bank. My dream was to one day buy my own house with money I had made from being an artist. Today I'm picking up the keys to my friends house... so that I can feed her cat while she's on holiday. She's doing really well.
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i just kept pestering them and pestering them until eventually they had no choice but to block me.
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I used to deliver papers on a fancy estate. I remember looking at this one particular house & thinking "I'm going to own a home like that one day". Well, after 20 yrs of hard work I've just picked up the keys to that very house! Dream big folks & you too could be a cat-sitter.
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Being an adult is saying to yourself "once I get this week out of the way I'll be less stressed" FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
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i don't know if it will get mentioned on this thread - but a pringles lid fits them x
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Watched the final moments of the game w/my 16 month old girl - as the final whistle was being blown an emotional me whispered in her ear "just think one day that could be u standing there" (& I pointed to one of the fans). Bc I've seen her with a ball & yeah absolutely no chance.
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eventually someone will like your script and then you will get your break! Break = some time off from not hearing again. Just keep going.
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for example one time i slept outside of this big agents office and that's how i got this huge scar of my head. (they slammed the door on my face).
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If u had told me 4 years ago that this is how Trump's presidency would end, I absolutley would have believed you.
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if you've lost all hope. start writing posts like 'i'm a really sad but boy am i a good writer' and then start tagging really successful writers like
@edgarwright
they won't retweet you. But just keep going.
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okay guys so i've used my Gü pots for teabags, sauces, candles, salt, dips, clips, hair bobbles - now what do I do with THE REST OF THEM
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You've heard of Elf On The Shelf but have you heard of hiring female comedians instead of reality stars when the male line-up are all comics?
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one last thing. A producer may say he'll only produce your script if you get into bed with him. Whatever you do DON'T sleep with him. Make sure it is just sex. Keep going!
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if you're feeling lost and hopeless. Just have faith in your script! Eventually someone will read it and then they will ask you to write a free treatment/episodic breakdown/outline of entire series/movie. Then eventually they'll change their email address. Keep going!
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2 years ago a producer told me I wasn't famous enough to star in a TV show that I had written. Well, joke is on him because I've just finished shooting my very first (starring AND written by me😍) fleet.
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wow - yesterday you guys were all like "OH GOD I HAVE TOO MANY AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO GU with them all" - now you all have solutions. I see what's going on here.
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@edgarwright
just keep knocking on doors. Eventually someone will answer. (and give you something for your bleeding knuckles). Keep going.
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Sex is great but have you ever pressed "print" and it actually prints?
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To my teacher who said I wasn't a good writer. To my ex-boyfriend who said I should pick another career. To my old mentor who said that I should have a back up plan. I really hope they don't see this list as I'm not on it.
We are delighted to announce the 50 scripts and their writers which have made the longlist for our
#InterConnected
opportunity. Full details over on our blog
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10 years ago I had all but £5 in my bank. My dream was to one day buy my own house with money I had made from being an artist. Today I'm picking up the keys to my friends house... so that I can feed her cat while she's on holiday. She's doing really well.
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I've just been told I don't truly understand the term "mansplaining".
By a man.
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Just got off a zoom call with 3 men. Mum asked me what I talked about.
WHAT. I (?) TALKED. ABOUT (?)
Hahaahhahahahahaha
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fun little story about the BAFTA's. a few years ago I met a struggling actor who said "I will win best actor one day" - last night Ben Whishaw won best actor and guess who that struggling actor was I met a few years ago? his name is tom and he didn't win, tom is super sad.
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Remember you don't have to have fun to drink alcohol.
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I see so many "writing" courses. You can't teach someone how to stare at a computer screen. You either have it or you don't.
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Just thinking about when someone sent me DM saying I was funny but ugly. I chose not to expose the person coz I knew they'd get a lot of hate for saying a woman was funny
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So surprised by the amount of likes. I genuinely thought it would get like 500,000 likes.
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@piersmorgan
I think you meant
Are ‘mental health issues’ now a valid excuse in elite sport?
Finally.
People used to just say "I did badly, made mistakes, and will strive to do better next time". Now they're saying their truth.
Kids have strong role models.
Finally.
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I don't know who needs to hear this but you will never need all of these. Throw them away.
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It is with a heavy heart I am announcing some positive news. Signed an option for a TV sitcom script today. Keep going my little twitter nuggets. 🍾🙌
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When you see your maths teacher in town on their day off.
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again - just in case you guys don't know as it's not mentioned on the thread - pringle lids fit them perfectly.
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now i've got people dm'ing me pictures of their gu pots - at this point I'd rather a dick pic
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If you'd told me a year ago that I'd be able to pay my rent 3 months in a row from money I'd made in writing comedy, I honestly wouldn't have believed you. And rightly so, because I'm not writing comedy and rent is very late.
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2016 I was in an uber. My driver was sad as he'd just found out his gf cheated on him. A drunk me insisted we get out & hav a cigarette. We talked. He cried. We hugged. Then he left me a 4* review?? Still, I often think about that precious moment & hope he still gets cheated on.
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30 weeks pregnant today... and just imagining a time when she's older and I'm hanging with her and her friends, and right before we meet them she gives me a sweet hug and whispers in my ear "please take a night off from talking about how you were pregnant in a pandemic".
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Y do ppl say writing TV comedy is hard? Literally all u need to do is create an A, B, C plot that intertwine/compliment/support one another w/likable/original but relatable characters who are motivated by things you can't mention and also set up a world but get to the hook ASAP.
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Question.
WHY is the narrative that Megan Markle's father is the victim?
Just watched an interview with him on
@GMB
and he is quite literally insulting his child over and over and over.
Leaving Richard,
@susannareid100
@reallorraine
saying they feel sorry for him
Help?
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*stop scrolling babes I've got some news*
I'm going to set up a TV Pilot Club {on zoom}. A place where we can see YOUR scripts come to life.
We will do a live read of 3/4 x comedy pilots every month -- submitted & written by YOU.
If you want to be involved DM me.
1/3
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another clear vibe i'm getting is - you guys are incredibly protective of your Gu pots. But I'm sorry to say, not one person has justified why you need 526 of them.
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So what I’ve inadvertently done here is encourage people to keep them for things they will also never do.
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left: the picture I show my hairdresser
right: the hair I have
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To my writer friends. Keep submitting to competitions. I applied to the BBC script room 5 times before giving up. ❤️
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8 years ago to the day i set a goal to buy my very own place with money i had made from being a writer. i've just picked up the keys to my first ever storage unit where i will be leaving my stuff for some time because i can't afford to live and must move back in with my parents.
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A lot of people talk about the tweet that gained them lots of followers. I'd like to talk about the one that lost me a lot followers.
Join in if you wish.
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Just cancelled my gym membership because the only piece of equipment I use has been taken away. Anyone know where I can buy a cheap vending machine?
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8 years ago to the day i set a goal to buy my very own place with money i had made from being a writer. i've just picked up the keys to my first ever storage unit where i will be leaving my stuff for some time because i can't afford to live and must move back in with my parents.
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Only writers will understand this huge win but yesterday I dedicated an entire day to writing and I almost wrote.
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Does... Does he know he has a child on his shoulders?
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if you'd told me 10 years ago that i'd be sipping on nice wine in a house that i own, while writing on my favourite TV show. I honestly wouldn't have believed you. And rightly so, coz right now i'm sipping on lambrini, rent is late and instead of a TV show i'm writing this tweet.
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WE HAVE BABY!
Introducing my Knightly Slade ❤️ 24.2.21
Mum and vagina are doing great. 🙏
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Feel INCREDIBLY honoured that Phoebe-Waller Bridge is trusting me with such an important story. ♥️
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8 years ago to the day i set a goal to buy my very own place with money i had made from being an artist. i've just picked up the keys to my first ever storage unit where i will be leaving my stuff for some time because i can't afford to live and must move back in with my parents.
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Some of you can afford to live in London and it shows (from your recent pictures at your parents' house).
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extremely disappointed in the lack of Gu puns.
I thought gu were all better than that
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i once dated an irish guy called carl. i will never forget we were at dinner and he said for the first time "here's to love at first sight" - i was so taken back & said "yes YES... i love you too". then realised he was talking to his pint of guinness. whatever it's fine.
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Hi has anyone got any advice?
Nothing in particular. Just some advice.
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if you'd told me 10 years ago that i'd be sipping on nice wine in a house that i own, while writing on my favourite TV show. I honestly wouldn't have believed you. And rightly so, coz right now i'm sipping on lambrini, rent is late and instead of a TV show i'm writing this tweet.
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My friend Tom sent a TV script to a producer 16 years ago. He didn't hear anything and assumed nothing would come of it. Sixteen years later... SIXTEEN BLOODY YEARS LATER moments before Tom is about to give up... guess what happens? Nothing. He gave up. Tom is super sad.
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To my writer friends. Just keep going. I was rejected 48 times before I got my 49th rejection.
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This thread is gonna go on longer than the Tory government isn’t it
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I thought being preggers in a global pandemic was as bad as it could get... I can confirm being tested positive for covid in a global pandemic is worse. Please send healing powers and positive stories. (no dick pics). 😘
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when i was 22 someone told me i wouldn't make it as an actress because of the bump in my nose and the gaps in my teeth. well, if only they could see me now...
about to star in my very own instagram story.
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My friend Tom sent a TV script to a producer 16 years ago. He didn't hear anything and assumed nothing would come of it. Sixteen years later... SIXTEEN BLOODY YEARS LATER moments before Tom is about to give up... guess what happens? Nothing. He gave up. Tom is super sad.
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Mad to think this time last year I had a comedy script I wanted to sell. Now I sit here in my lounge seeing that very script on the tv (we used it as wrapping paper for my daughter’s present).
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Before you love someone unconditionally you have to love them shampoonally.
Here all day, folks.
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Just thinking about when someone sent me DM saying I was funny but ugly. I chose not to expose the person coz I knew they'd get a lot of hate for saying a woman was funny.
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My therpist has now forgotten about two of our sessions. The first time, I was left standing in the rain, and the second, I was left sitting on zoom. I'm thinking now, this is probably what she meant when she told me she specialised in abandonment issues.
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Am I the best writer in the world? No. But do I write everyday because persistence is the key to success? Also no.
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I have some positive news regarding a script I’ve been working on for 5 years. FYI: This script received over 100 rejections but I kept going because I believed in it. Well!! I’ve just sold my car coz I needed money to live so that I can keep sending it to ppl. YES! Keep going!
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literally what an American says when they do a British accent.
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Things that have never been said.
I'll go first.
"That play needed to be longer".
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2016 I was in an uber. My driver was sad as he'd just found out his gf cheated on him. A drunk me insisted we get out & hav a cigarette. We talked. He cried. We hugged. Then he left me a 4* review?? Still, I often think about that precious moment & hope he still gets cheated on.
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