moccafella
@moccafella
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1,145
Following
527
Media
114
Statuses
14,508
batman with no prep time || @notedzm owner
+twosixty
Joined January 2015
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Pinned Tweet
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You ohns were reading a book called Exams Made Easy instead of studying. I ain't forget
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1K
One thing about Zambian offices? "She has jusssttt gone out"
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The sharwama you know is better than the sharwama you don't know
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Performing on stage in Zambia is wild cause at any moment half your crowd can run away to beat a thief
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Unani promisa
The fuel prices are going up but our alternative plan can make it more affordable.
#Zambia
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This malasha looks like it will catch fire if you just ask nicely
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BREAKING: Andrew Tate has been banned from off shantumbu road
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I've already picked my graduation suit 🙏🏾 now I just need to study 🙏🏾
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Going to ShopRite to buy a drink when buying fast food
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If you don't eat HL fries in time they revert back to potatoes
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Me if I never used to upsize fries
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When you fall on a police camp veranda
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Its 2021
A Dollar is now K50
Power is not available on days that end with Y
The Ruins belong to East Park
Kulima Tower now has boats
Life is good
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Meanwhile I've received an exam time table when I've never seen 5 of my lecturers
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You fold we sign you up for late registration
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*takes screenshot of tweet*
*opens WhatsApp*
Lol nvm
*comes back to Twitter*
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I've now seen why companies like hiring UNZA students. Ohns adapt to disappointment too fast
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there's this dark side to funerals that really makes me sick to my stomach.
the theft, the disputes, the fake cries, the PR stunts..
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Why be upset at the government when Mix Kasamwa is the reason you voted ?
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AKA is literally the reason I took interest in SA music years ago. I'm so sad
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When you laugh at your friend who got 14% when you had 16%
Bemba's are the reason why Barklays Bank was changed to absa....ati Bankrays🤦🏾♂️😅
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Bathong. How do they live in Zambia?
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I've started gatekeeping friendships. Not introducing anyone to anyone
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Heard someone laughing in UNZA and I'm just wondering what's funny
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Strict.
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He looks like a generic villager in Shrek 2
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.
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😭😭😭
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The deep scheme I’m in? I can remove the picture from my NRC
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The potatoes in the sack watching me pick pasta over them once again
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You can think someone is in a deep scheme kanshi they've deleted your number
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Swap and top up for an HP laptop?
Good morning 😍
House for sale
Location: new kasama
▪️In an fenced off eco estate.
▪️5 bedrooms.
▪️Open plan kitchen
▪️2 lounges and a beautiful bar.
▪️Upmarket finishing, includes solid Mukwa doors, folding stacking doors and a imported kitchen.
▪️Hangrohe taps.
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"If we date ignore my twitter"
The twitter:
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Niggas done read the euphoria manga
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I have a small business. I personalise journals. Please share and RT. Dm if you’re interested. They are K140. The Mr & Mrs come as a package for K230.
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Eh eh. You guys who miss ECL think he was going to stop the war olo? 😭
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That bine for healing is long. I’ll just be getting tattoos and keep it pushing
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Working for UNZA ni lisking. You put food in the work fridge for tomorrow's lunch kanshi this side they are burning your office
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I find it weird when someone cuts me off then changes their mind. Why did you fold?
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I've perfed in a friendship if you think you can tell me your rape stories in confidence
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Pressure with me is when I'm done making fries there are no fries left
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Regular people: over there in the distance
Zambians: thhaattt siiiiiddeee
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A prime number is a number that can only be divided by 1 and itself
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There's an ohn in unza who looks just like this. He's even in beng
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*hears parent's footsteps*
*attempts to look like I'm not relaxing*
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At boarding school I once found someone dipping Romany Creams in mayonnaise.....and I just.....understood
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This thing for living in a third world country is becoming slow.
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Even if a situation means nothing to you try to think of what it means to others
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When you're in a deep scheme and you already have no dp it's to do what?
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Giveon when Takeoff walks in
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So undertaker used to run to the centre of the stage when it's dark and pretend he just appeared? 🤣
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Nafika badabwa
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Sometimes I wanna tweet real things from my life then I remember some of you know witches
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Whatever you're going through in life ohns? Make sure you eat.
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