Jes
@mmmyfe
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✨ parody tweets @mike_Gordon
Massachusetts, USA
Joined February 2012
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Everyone acts like Phish fans are crazy for listening to 200 versions of one song, meanwhile they’ll listen to the same exact version of one song over and over again
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The CDC says if you can heal the symptoms, but not affect the cause, you can't heal the symptoms
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Trey has been practicing staring at ceilings his whole life to finally get here
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Tipsy fuddled boozy groggy elevated
Prime did edit her
Hellborn elfchild roadhog mountain fortune hunter
Man beheaded her
Fat bulk expanse mass lump block clod
Tipsy fuddled boozy groggy Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself
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Phish has grossed $50M from MSG shows alone. Meanwhile I’m eating spaghetti 3 times a week so I can afford the Mexico webcasts
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Stages of being a Phish fan:
Liking Farmhouse >
Hating Farmhouse >
Loving Farmhouse
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#MusicMondaze
learning new things is HARD. So is multitasking. But at least I’m trying. Don’t judge me
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Sometimes I feel bad about myself, but then I remember my body is just a collection of particles sustaining consciousness within the cosmic slop of space and time. Anyway here’s my face please validate me
#thottythursday
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If it wasn’t for covid I could’ve been picking up some other infectious diseases this week
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Spotify has no idea I’ve listened to every single note Phish played this year
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I hope everyone has a happy and healthy Phish tour. Make smart choices. Take care of your shoes & also each other. Wash your hands. And shut the fuck up when the band is playing 💞
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I turned down sex with an anti-vaxxer, so don’t say I’ve never done anything for the community!
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Because religion is a fake coping mechanism and liquor and marijunia are real ones
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If anyone wants to buy me a valentine I wear a size 4 night webcast pass
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One of my favorite things about being a Phish fan is that I have dozens of friends that do not care if I don’t talk to them on a regular basis and we can still reconnect on the purest level when we do see each other.
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4 years ago I rode the rail at Phish for the first and only time (so far). Trey broke a string during Cities AND they blew the sound system during Wolfman’s. Clearly they were trying too hard to impress me. But look how happy I was
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Putting on a very sexy dress to sit and smoke weed by myself because I can and it makes me feel good
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Fuck it,
#thottythursday
#theline
#bdtnl
Hampton ‘18 night 3, no make up, yoga clothes, sleep deprived, & lit like a lamp. Bagged and tagged by phishchicks
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At least 20,000 Grateful Dead chicks claim they are “not like other girls” in their social media profiles
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“Sober except for k” is something someone just tried to convince me is a thing
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Ween is great if you can't afford therapy but you also don't want to get any better
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Parking next to the Tr*mp rally and blasting WAP because that is my right as an American
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Hey
@treyanastasio
I make way higher quality soy candles if you’re looking for a chandler. I use dried flowers/herbs/oils and pour them in cute things from the thrift store. No artificial chemicals. Just vibes.
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Anyone: *spends money on something nice for themselves*
Me, who spends 70% of my income seeing a band I’ve seen over 100 times: “must be nice”
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Phish is going to open Arkansas with a new song and everyone is going to hate it except for me
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Pigpen: gotta find a woman,
be good to me
won’t hide my liquor,
try to serve me tea
Also Pigpen: **dies**
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That feeling when you say “Primus sucks” and people start to explain why Primus doesn’t suck
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If you go home with somebody and they don’t have a recycling bin, don’t fuck them.
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Venus is literally rising first and shining best from the northwest corner of a brand new crescent moon right now omfg
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Can tell dudes are getting desperate when nonphans slide in the dms. You know that liking Phish is my entire personality right ?
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12/29/18 I was on POINT and crushed it so hard that the folks behind me complimented my dance moves 💃🏻
I miss Phish and friends and feeling safe and at home in my element.
Having the space to be yourself and have those around you encourage you to do so is fucking priceless
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Everyone should get uncomfortably high once in a while. It’s good for you.
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One time at set break this wook tried to tell me he was Jesus Christ but I knew he wasn’t because I saw him leave during McGrupp to buy a shirt
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If you ever wonder how I got so funny, or why I’m willing to embarrass myself by making hilarious deadpan jokes that very few people appreciate, it’s because of Norm Macdonald. Thank you, Norm.
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Every week I chicken out and don’t post because I never get anything perfect, but I just remembered...I don’t care!
I hope one day I’ll hold it down like Tony. Thank you, Tony.
#musicmondaze
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I think I just went on a date but we just drank beer and did whippets on the beach does that count ?
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At a Mexican restaurant, UB40 comes on and a random lady walks by and says to herself, “David Bowie.”
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I’ve seen 30 out of the 60 Phish shows played at MSG. Not bad for being poor.
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#wookwednesday
Living in an RV park in Jersey City for the whole Baker’s Dozen. Eatin an ice cream sando, & trolling Phantasy Tour (pre-Twitter Jes)... Living my best life.
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Hey don’t forget to schedule your post-Atlantic City and/or pre-Gorge covid tests you dusty wooks
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Mom, look, I used my pinky! 💞 I should probably choose something easier, but that’d be boring...
One of my favorite bass lines, from Why Does Love Got To Be So Sad? (You can barely hear me, but that’s probably for the best)
#musicmondaze
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There’s going to be a baby boom 9 months after lockdown ends. But instead of “boomers” we will call them “zoomers”
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A year ago today I yelled at my friends for talking during Farmhouse. I miss them. And Phish. And Farmhouse.
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In 2018, I wrote a philosophical analysis of Kasvot Växt that no one cared about. Here is the section about the mention of "nine cubes" from WAACTOOB. I might post the rest of the essay if anyone cares.
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Phish should preventively quarantine themselves together and live stream it
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