Melissa Dahl
@melissadahl
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Writer/editor/runner/coach. I wrote a book called Cringeworthy. I also wrote "pesto is the quiche of the 80s." melissadahl @gmail .com
New York, NY
Joined May 2009
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Today I was walking my dog and a man stopped us and asked how much my dog weighed and I told him and he said, “Great, thanks — I do dog math for my job” and walked away.
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The millennial urge to write an important email from your laptop (never phone)
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By any chance have you recently abandoned an elaborate skin care routine, and by any chance would you allow me to give you $$ to write about it? : )
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When I say "last year" I of course mean 2020, please try to keep up.
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them: “what’s ur MBTI”
me: “ummmm Myers-Briggs is junk science....how embarrassing for you”
them: “what’s ur sign”
me: “omg WELL aries sun pisces moon cap rising mercury and venus in gemini mars in cancer jupiter and neptune in aries
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I am not happy now but surely I will be when my NEXT online order arrives : )
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The saddest thing I googled this wkd, it’s a tough call but I’ve gotta go with “buttermilk pancakes recipe for one”
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beverly cleary is responsible for like, half my personality. i wish it were ramona but unfortunately i am at least half beezus. RIP to the reason i love to read 💕
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Quarantine day whatever, my dog gets excited now when I put my mask on
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I wasn't quite ready to move on from the "Melania hates 'Christmas stuff'" storyline
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Second piece of my freelance era: For
@TheCut
, I wrote about the attendance crisis and one way some schools are attempting to solve it -- by encouraging parents to send kids to school sick.
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No human is powerful enough to unhear “girls become lovers who turn into mothers.”
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In such a time of crisis I think it is imperative that the atlantic remove the paywall from its giraffe content
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I tell myself I'm "not competitive" but I also just looked up Adam Driver's wife's marathon finish time.
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Welp, after 15+ years in media, layoffs finally came for me. As of last month, I’m no longer with BDG!
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Truly ANNOYING how many problems are solved by getting up early!!
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I wonder if, when I get back to an office, I will keep waving at the end of meetings.
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i have been doing these dramatic heavy SIGHS since the warren news broke, and i did one again upon reading this
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I need 10,000 words on Portia’s clothing on The White Lotus and I need it immediately
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Well it’s 10AM, time to change from my nighttime sweatpants to my daytime sweatpants.
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don't do it!!!!!
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This continues to be true
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A little ode to my fav app, iNaturalist, which I learned about from Jenny Odell's How to Do Nothing
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In my experience you make friends as an adult through sheer determination. You WILL people to be your friend. You WEAR THEM DOWN!!!!
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Love the optimism of the phrase "in the middle of a pandemic," how do we all know this isn't still the beginning :) Just a cheerful tweet for you there :)
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Today the doggie day care people informed me that Gracie is part of a clique 😌
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Sometimes adding a line break to a piece is an effective, artistic choice.
*
Sometimes you can tell the writer just didn't want to bother with a transition.
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(Sometimes "the writer" is me.)
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If you edited the headline like this you could publish this piece every day! I worked hard on this.
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I think my favorite part was “all that glittering possibility, for vague shadows of affection” 🥺🥴
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oh my GOD??!!!!!!!!!
ASME Awards 2023: . . .
@romper
“Best C-Section Ever,” , including “What No One Tells You About C-Sections” and “Your Complete Guide To Recovering From a C-Section,” , edited by
@meaghano
and
@melissadahl
. . .
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How am I gonna go back to having meetings in person without knowing what my face is doing. It is imperative I know what my face is doing during meetings.
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Young sir I might have signed your petition had you not called me MA’AM
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Any time I see "and that's okay!" in a story I am editing I WILL cut it ......... and that's okay!
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ok but writers pls don’t learn this it’s my only editing skill
A lesson I keep having to relearn: the best way to make your writing flow is to lop off the last paragraph of a section or chapter (the part where you're trying too hard).
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I hate hard seltzer bc it’s gross but I also hate it bc i believe it takes up shelf space that rightfully belongs to bud light lime. This is a tweet from a rite aid
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In the late 2000s you could look up an acquaintance you vaguely didn't like and sometimes they BLOGGED, they were a BLOGGER, you'd get an entire BLOG'S worth of confirmation bias. A very specific kind of joy, lost.
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what a relief when something you've been putting off truly *is* a pain in the ass
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Borat: totally kind of hot.
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"It might seem foreign and weird to feel some hope about the direction of this country right now, but here it is. This is what it feels like." : )
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it's true, it is
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this cutie : )
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I liked this season of BLL okay but am glad to see it go so that the acronym can once again belong solely to Bud Light Lime
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I just clean up my kitchen and mess up my kitchen, that’s what a pandemic is in my experience
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We are hiring a senior editor. Come help us figure out what The Cut is. :))))
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I miss movie theaters so, so much, and I particularly miss going to the movies alone.
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amid everything else -- betty dodson died!
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About once a year I rediscover the existence of “the library” and it blows my mind. Guys they just ... GIVE YOU BOOKS ...
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"If love really is blind, why not wear sweats?"
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When it comes to the phrase "when it comes to," I will cut it
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"I keep saying, ‘I wouldn’t wish this illness or trauma on my worst enemy.’ And this morning, that was fundamentally challenged."
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me too
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What dumb thing will I end up stress-purchasing tonight? Internet ads that stalk me online, it is your night! Good luck to you all.
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When it comes to noting percentages in a piece I am 100 percent old-fashioned
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I love nothing more than creating elaborate exacting routines for myself and then totally and abruptly abandoning them, so this package (a series of essays about exactly that) was v fun to work on.
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I spent 6 years in the Pacific Northwest training for this, our winter of stubbornly socializing outdoors
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this is still true today!!!
Truly ANNOYING how many problems are solved by getting up early!!
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i love you tony fauci <3
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i hope this was helpful to someone, maybe, i tried to be thoughtful about it :)
.
@thecut
Senior Health and Science Editor
@melissadahl
talks about common misconceptions of self-care and ways to practice it that don't necessarily involve sheet masks and bubble baths
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My productivity hack is to arrange my to do list in order of “who is most mad at me”
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Tired of having to clean my apt every time I go to “happy hour”
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A year into quar and I have nearly completed all 25 seasons of the Barefoot Contessa, what a gift to take this time to really work on yourself and achieve your goals <3
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please please give me an audiobook read by harry.....please.....
We are excited to announce the remarkably personal and emotionally powerful story of Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex.
SPARE, the highly anticipated
#PrinceHarryMemoir
, will be published on January 10, 2023. Learn more at
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Leaves rustled. A cold wind blew. A hermit thrush (the Vermont state bird) chirped a message: Bernard is going back on the road.
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Recently I stopped stalking exes on Instagram by channelling that energy into stalking Shailene and Aaron on Instagram and anyway I could have told you this months ago
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“I wasn't going to ask for credit for a chicken recipe, but, like, I don't think she's ever roasted a chicken before."
@annaesilman
my friend you have an ear for quotes
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