max n' cheez
@maxthomm
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Following
2,125
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1,756
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The original 3 Beer oomfie. Retired D3 Track chump. Shortest member of Beer Twitter. Probably tweeting about my cat.
Houston, TX
Joined April 2015
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
This is how a Miller Lite looks after 11 Miller Lites
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Pulisic proving the Europeans are soft
CHRISTIAN PULISIC DRAWS TWO RED CARDS, AC Milan leave Rome with all three points. 🇺🇸🔴⚫️
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Boy math is saying you are gonna have 2-3 beers but then having 17
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Who wants me to buy them a bird feeder
Your 28-year-old girlfriend does not want flowers she wants a bird feeder and just one moment of peace and silence
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If you go to a Dream show you should be sent to work in the Alaskan oil fields
Dream kicks off his first tour with a sold out show in Florida.
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ST. JOE got meth
ST. JOE got the eclipse
ST. JOE got the parkway
ST. JOE got more meth
ST. JOE got Eminem
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Need a tall woman to bash me in the head with a shovel and throw me in the back of her trunk for destinations unknown
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This is what a Modelo looks like after 11 Modelos
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True, they are for men.
News flash. Boys are not allowed to have cats.
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OF is for mean girls from HS that couldn't graduate Nursing school
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This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life
the European mind can not possibly comprehend this
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Pictured before you is a fake chiller and a real chiller… Can you spot the difference?
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This is why I don't trust STEM adults.
@AbhinandanShah
Humans are hardwired by evolution to be a social species with hierarchical structure. This includes hardwired drives for dominance or submission.
AI assistants will simply have hardwired drives to submit and not dominate.
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If your boyfriend has more than 3000 followers that's your girlfriend 💅
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The Cornell athletic center parking lot before the renovations
Drone footage of a road that got destroyed by a landslide back in 2009 in Quebec, Canada
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@big_business_
Bro dropped an Album on the day the queen died with a song called Last of The Mohicans what a mad man
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@Jgonx32
@_MLFootball
@Scott7news
Communities make money of the big game hunting industry, he is doing it the proper way, if he is posting it has to be tagged or sanctioned. If you don't like hunting keep scrolling and ignore it.
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Stop Yakutsk child! You Smoke Too Tough. Your Swag Too Different. Your Bitch Is Too Bad. They’ll Kill You
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Bro saw a minor was a hostage and booked the first ticket to Tel Aviv
Welcome to Israel
@JerrySeinfeld
.
Actor and comedian Jerry Seinfeld who landed in Israel today is expected to meet with the families of the hostages during his visit.
Thank you for your support 💙🇮🇱
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Nick Adams is a national treasure
Yesterday morning after church, I went straight for the golf course for a quick solo round before the first games kicked off at 1.
When I arrived, I went straight to the first tee box since I was sufficiently warmed up from my intense workout at the gym earlier in the morning.
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If I tweet about the Chiefs a lot tonight I will not apologize in advance.
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You can't convince me she is actually alive in this picture
BREAKING: Senator Dianne Feinstein has been hospitalized after a fall, per TMZ.
Feinstein is 90 years old.
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Everyone take a shot for my dog Rocky TN. I'll miss that mf like crazy. I'll chase him in the snow in the next life 💙💙
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Notice California is Liberal and gets earthquakes, now New York City, a very blue area, gets an Earthquake? Is it a coincidence the two most liberal places in America get earthquakes? Why is this?
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That's ME
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3 takeaway from tonight's game
1. Hector Herrera is a POS.
2. If we can beat Mexico in a game like that our future is gonma be very bright.
3. CONCACAF is CONCACAF.
Thats all folks
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The men in Ariel's family were so real, respectful but critical, and concerned for Ariel as they could be. I loved watching it
#TheBachelor
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Wtf the Autism gotta do with this😭
Its no way yall think an abusive ngga that b in the hood all day, eat perks like skittles, no crib, no car & possibly autistic would make a good dad .
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telling a pothead they have an addiction vs telling an alcoholic they have an addiction
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If you aren't from inside this bubble just know I could care less about what you have to say on sports
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Having a black cat is like having a nonverbal 3 year old that shits in a box
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Something about posting someone without their consent feels... wrong. Just hear me out.
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That phase where you slowly get a crippling nicotine addiction is crazy
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Drinking culture WILL be tackled in the next cultural revolution
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Where is my fucking money
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Need a tall girl to give me an intervention about my tall girl tweets
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*shows up at house without warrant*
*Shoots at woman practicing her 2nd amendment right and protecting her property*
*Shoots before they can even talk to her*
*Keeps dumping mags with intent*
Yeah this is why I don't like cops
Woman approached her front door with a gun in hand, unaware of what would happen next
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Coke so white it's "socially liberal but fiscally conservative"
Coke so white it walks around in basketball shorts during a blizzard
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Just learned Jason is really into country music 🤠 scaled the bed and curled up on my lap near the speaker to listen
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As someone who worked in pizza for 8 years this is a cop out just get better at cutting
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