mark emlyn evans
@marcooth
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Following
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May all your dreams come true on this, your very special day.
London, England
Joined October 2008
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Japan Dominos have invented a dish that insults both England and Italy.
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Diana using photoshop up in heaven to bring down the monarchy.
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Honestly this Caroline Flack court sketch is a true work of art.
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Here’s Princess Diana wearing an alpaca themed jumper, contemplating a future where an alpaca named Geronimo could be murdered on the 24th anniversary of her own death.
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Just to FYI that I would probably quite enjoy eating this.
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It’s the legendary Dame Patricia Routledge’s 95th birthday today.
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@AbroadInJapan
@CDawgVA
I wish I hadn’t been watching this video yesterday when I was having my dinner.
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Julia Hartley-Brewer thinking a canned alcoholic drink is posh suggests she’s never been on a train, a hen do, or is friends with any gays.
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My favourite thing about the bonkers Telegraph front page is that I had no idea up until now that Prince Andrew had allegedly had sex in a bath.
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The
@CentrePompidou
has Yves Saint Laurent dresses displayed next to matching paintings and it’s amazing.
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I know 2020 is long but John Lewis have asked themselves to feature their own image on their own website again.
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“My beloved father Captain Tom Moore would have loved my spa and pool complex at my £1.2m home”
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@dominos_JP
I’d genuinely love to, but sadly I’m based in London. Maybe someone like
@AbroadInJapan
should try it on my behalf though?
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Former Home Secretary Priti Patel unveils memorial bench to swans killed in catapult attack
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Going to reply to every work email today with ‘Sorry Helena, I’m not a fucking travel agent’.
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No one needs another EDWARD.
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2020’s been so long that John Lewis have asked themselves if they can feature their own photo on their own website.
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It really is incredible that George Michael was caught wanking in the bogs and then used the experience to release an incredible disco themed single isn’t it.
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Grumpy Cat and Princess Diana, together in heaven, at last.
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I am, obviously, now completely craving the fish and chips pizza.
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I did a lateral flow today but did NOT post the results on social media. Thanks xxx
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Put Madeleine McCann through faceapp and she’d like to speak to the manager.
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What’s your favourite fictional shop? Mine’s the boutique Jan ran in Howard’s Way.
#interiordesignmasters
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Sheridan Smith has been cast as the email in a newly commissioned ITV drama about George Osborne’s wedding called The Email.
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Nothing has ever come close to the Marc Almond YOUR BLOCKED tweet.
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Such a shame Princess Diana never got the opportunity to take advantage of the Eat Out to Help Out scheme.
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I’m sat next to my amazing colleague who made the Sainsbury’s Christmas ad today as we’re in the office together.
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BREAKING NEWS: Mum’s bought a new telly from Argos, which she revealed in the family group chat at a very suitable moment.
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My favourite thing about the Tom Daley story is the idea that The Gay Community has local branches divided into sections.
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My no go areas of London:
- West London
- Caffe Concerto
- Any exit of Oxford Circus tube that isn’t the Argyll Street exit
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Of course the gays are well known to not be taxpayers themselves.
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More people have watched Christopher Maloney’s X Factor audition on YouTube than Peter Stefanovic’s Boris Johnson video but you won’t get that on the BBC News.
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Congratulations to the Met Police, literally making the streets of London less safe for women RIGHT NOW.
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PLEASE EVERYONE JUST BLOCK LAURENCE FUCKING FOX AND ALSO DON’T EVEN THINM ABOUT SCREEN GRABBING HIM THANKS.
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You forget that the Minions are actually France’s biggest contribution to global culture.
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I can't quite cope with this being the final episode of
#acsversace
which has, essentially, been one of the best things I have ever watched on the telly.
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A good morning to everyone except Cardinal Richelieu from Dogtanian.
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SEAGULL vs MONKMAN tonight on University Challenge is bigger than Alien vs Predator and Batman vs Superman COMBINED.
#UniversityChallenge
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Not sure if 'mind-blowing' is quite the most APPROPRIATE adjective to describe 'Jackie'.
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If you’re ever feeling down or like you’re some sort of failure at life, just remember these magic words: FOUR SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING.
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JUST POST A FUCKING GOOGLE REVIEW SO SHERIDAN SMITH WILL STOP.
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Majority of the London mayoral candidates are completely unhinged.
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“My father Captain Tom Moore would have loved this delicious and herbaceous award winning London dry gin with soft hints of citrus, rosemary and thyme. Fresh and aromatic reminiscent of an English Summer Garden.”
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Just wanted to thank everyone for their opinions on last night’s line of duty. I’ve printed them all off and put them in a ring binder so they can be referred to whenever we need them. Thanks.
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Thinking about Boris Johnson on what would have been his very special day.
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Me, learning that Jim Davidson doesn’t want to come back to London.
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Love the way Kamala Harris is subtweeting the UK by coming as the EU flag.
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