localhuman
@localhuman
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local of the human variety that writes things on the internet and makes things in the world
minneapolis, duh
Joined November 2008
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JIN AT MILAN FASHION WEEK
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FACE OF GUCCI JIN
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Oprah
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MINQ A STEP CLOSER
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Welcome to Minneapolis where having flowers lean slightly in to the sidewalk could lead to hundreds of dollars in fines and assessments. I’m glad we can focus on these details since we’ve got everything else basically perfected
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New week, new bench! Southeast corner of 8th and Nicollet ( IDS ). Call or email the city to demand more!
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Minnesota’s highest waterfall, worlds best donuts, and Minnesota’s best road ( Gunflint Trail )
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Closing the Stone Arch Bridge for 2-3 years is a bigger blow to Minneapolis than Uber/Lyft leaving
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Once again asking you to understand that the MPD is defunding Minneapolis, not the other way around, until we do something about it.
The city is self-insured. It's not a massive insurance company eating these settlements. We pay $1.5m for Jaleel Stallings, $50.2m in recent (2019-2021) settlements for police killings/misconduct, and potentially $35m in PTSD settlements with former cops.
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@AldiUSA
You can keep your store in North Minneapolis instead of abandoning it to create a larger food desert?
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Minneapolis Public Seating Authority has been busy in the Robert’s Bird Sanctuary
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New bench for my block made from 6” Ash that anyone ( gasp ) yes anyone is free to enjoy — even the mayor if he wants to chat about how we can improve public seating and restrooms in our city.
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I hope this email finds you diddling your nasty cat blanket
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Sometimes an idea comes in to your head and you can't move on with your day until you give it a shot. I'm truly sorry.
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Minneapolis has given a 22% raise to people who hate this city and its residents and who will help ground out any form of protest or dissent when Trump wins or steals office.
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Just a few more fences and we'll really solve the housing crisis
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The city doesn't like seating downtown so I added some. I wonder how long before they impound the benches...
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26th St and 14th Ave. Lot covered in rubble by the city. Why?
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I would like a 22% raise after becoming world famously criminal and terrible, in exchange for exactly nothing.
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Hey
@FirstAvenue
it appears as if this bench was moved in to your building. Have you seen it?
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The Minneapolis Public Seating Authority marches on with much thanks to
@EHBinMN
!
Yesterday was a big day! After over a year building this retaining wall, I asked
@localhuman
to cap it off with one of his awesome benches.
He did not disappoint.
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It is hard to beat spending time in Grand Marais. Such a beautiful city!
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I should say I’m happy to trim them- I really believe in the importance of accessibility for everyone on our shared walkways. I’m just hoping I didn’t make an enemy out of some neighbor on the block
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Ordered a free lead test kit from the City of Minneapolis to test my water supply and got a bonus BPA free water bottle! I’m grateful for the things like this our city does well
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Thanks to Kare11 for discussing the lack of public seating downtown with me. Hopefully we can turn a public discussion of the topic into further action to make our city more comfortable, walkable, and enjoyable for everyone!
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I've worked on Twitter's web app for 4 years and yeah, that's not how it works. It is slow because Minneapolis defunded our police.
Btw, I’d like to apologize for Twitter being super slow in many countries. App is doing >1000 poorly batched RPCs just to render a home timeline!
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At the Matthews Park Community center to discuss Jacob Freys rebranding agenda
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Definitely an honor to work with such a wonderful team!
Congrats
@nashsocial
on being small startup company that ships code 24h around the clock. Engineering is killing it.
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@lydiakauppi
While the execution of the idea was not stellar, the idea itself was also not very good.
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Armed with just a camp saw and hatchet, Minneapolis Public Seating Authority took a field trip to the Boundary Waters over the weekend
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If anyone sees this bike around town let me know! It was taken from my garage along with a few other things last Friday evening. I can move on from the lost circular saw and whatnot but this bike had been with me for 18 years 😭
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I caught this amazing photo last night. WHAT IS THE PARK BOARD NOT TELLING US
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@AMESPORTS
@realben_jammin
@drscottjensen
@elonmusk
Yeah I live in the no go zone of Minneapolis- was car jacked 4 times today! Was nice though because the free handouts I got 5 new cars. Doesn't matter,
@Grimace4MN
will walk anywhere, literal Gotham or non literal Gotham to unite us all with burgers!
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The Fall of Minneapolis ( Oak Trees ) watch: The first citizen of Minneapolis, according to Theodore Wirth, has taken its last tumble. Trimmed to it's stump in 2010 and still standing as of a few months ago, the Ancient Oak of Riverside Park has fallen.
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burned out husk of South Minneapolis in the 3rd Precinct. I was able to sneak though here in order to make it to the voting booth
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I would offer to cut off a non-thumb finger on my left hand if it would help with getting rid of 94 in Minneapolis/St. Paul
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@BokononsProphet
won't somebody think of the overpriced commerical real estate interests on Lake and Hennepin?
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a gorgeous view of minneapolis today from the Italian district in near northeast
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A 1996 Ford Ranger with a broken leaf spring and some near bald all season tires would slice through this situation like a hot knife through butter but tell yourself whatever it is you need to tell yourself
Most any truck would get stuck in this snowy scenario, Cybertruck is no different.
Looking forward to seeing different tires on the truck and how it behaves.
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Today would be a good day for Frey to resign. He could run a few marathons on his way back to VA, maybe have a Vogue reporter follow him.
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This city has "no comment", but glad to hear from the DID that the blue chairs will be back this May!
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@RevTChristopher
Just a normal tech job. Should I upload my pay slip here? I do supplement my income with carjackings though
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@Martha4Hennepin
Bad news: Martha didn't have a law license when she lied and said she did
Good news: When you're friends with mayor and cops they let you do whatevs
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In a shocking judicial development, the Supreme Court has ruled 6-3 that the Stone Arch Bridge shall remain closed to all troublemakers whenever Micheal Raineville has a bad feel
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There is a whole branch of Epistemology centered on not being able to know something until a sworn police officer has deemed it true. Hume wrote about it in "On Bootlicking"
We cannot immediately say, “someone fired a gun.” This isn’t to be obtuse or minimize what happened. It’s because while we think we know what happened-law enforcement has to confirm this.
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What the Woke Mob won’t tell you is that Lake Street actually starts at the river
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@georgejoseph94
@soupformy_fam
And now they’re burning the evidence
Massive fire breaks out at NYPD impound, evidence warehouse in Brooklyn
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After years of waiting for a milk crate to magically appear in my life I finally broke down and purchased one for $6 and friends- it is a life changer. I brought home a gallon of milk on this bad boy today like we were brought in to this world to do nothing less
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Can't wait to see everyone at Warehouse District Live tonight
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It’s so wonderful to live in a city that cherishes public seating
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Hi My name is Joe. I lost a long held Democratic seat to Pete Stauber because I won't get lectured by people tweeting half baked leftish gibberish.
@JetVirago
@benswope
@E_McB
Maybe I’m just among those sick of getting lectured to by a mob of people tweeting half-baked leftist gibberish from their couch. Y’all are our Trump people—Blue MAGA.
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NEX spared no expense or effort to allow US citizens to participate in our token sale. Unfortunately, it would have made the token non-tradable for 1 year, and even then it was still unclear which US states we'd be tradable in, among other issues.
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Does MPD know that someone jacked a helicopter and is circling at low altitudes around Lake St? I think they might be using the helicopters to help with their carjackings.
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Pretty sure I saw Kate Middleton jacking a car on East Lake Street.
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QRT with a meme you made
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I'd love to live in a society that swapped our library budget with the police budget
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@hellodonavon
Don Samuels watched a kid under his care drown and it wasn't his personal 9/11.
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@Jacob_Frey
I mean.. you're friends with pro gun and anti-abortion political powers so i don't know what you're saying. Also Latrisha Vetaw assaulted a constituent, not the other way around.
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Trying to apply for a MN E-Bike credit. It is 2024, I would think the state would be able to create a website that degrades gracefully but no, just a mostly blank page with a javascript call returning a 503.
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@NortonMpls
@Sex_Forest
A reminder that no matter where you are the golf course in your mind must be turned into a sex forest
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This is why I live in Seward and not Uptown
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Day 4 of benches in public.
@The_Depot
seems to have taken one of them as their own, which wasn't really the point of the whole endeavor. The Nicollet Ave bench is going strong!
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Here's a photo from today of one of the benches on a completely empty Nicollet Ave on a sunny Saturday afternoon. I think we can be sure the anti-people approach to bringing people back downtown isn't working.
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Can't wait to see everyone out at Warehouse District Live tonight, gonna be great if the weather holds.
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@Mayor_Frey_
This account is so close to reality that it always takes me a few seconds to realize its the fake one.
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This is the Mcdonald's at the Minneapolis Walmart. This is what happens when the min wage is too high. Liberals think they're helping people, but they're not.
This is the McDonald’s at the Minneapolis airport. This is what happens when the min wage is too high. Liberals think they are helping people, but they’re not.
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Bench updates 1/2: Bench
#2
that was taken by First Ave was rescued last night by my brother and his partner, and is on the corner of 8th and Hennepin for now! Many thanks to them!
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I don't want the most lethal fighting force in the world, I want food and shelter for my neighbors and well paid teachers for the youngins.
I don’t want the most lethal fighting force in the world, I want to go to the doctor.
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@medickimw
I think the meltdown yesterday was intentional to take attention away from MPD violently stealing all possessions from unhoused people in 3 different locations
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@violanorth
Everyone is talking about Bob's Java Pond now
The new crosswalk on 27th and lyndale is completely flooded, which is super cool for me, a pedestrian who needs to cross it. Lol
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There's so many reasons to get so frustrated and disappointed with this city but then someone does this and makes me remember why I love Minneapolis ( other than the wonderful downtown Walmart of course )
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Good morning Minnesota people! Today is a great day to learn that I overheard
@JimForMN
kicks puppies, eats chalk ( helps with the whiteness ), and takes money from the Salvation Army holiday cans instead of giving it.
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