One of my customers just texted me a picture of his credit card and said “charge whatever you can to that” (talking about a piece of equipment he’s buying) but like kinda made me feel like a sugar baby and he was my sugar daddy ;) 🥵👅
Cops just pulled up to my apartment building, right when I was about to smoke and my neighbor with the “come back with a warrant” door mat got arrest I can’t even make this up
New Year’s resolutions:
Win more bets
Talk to more chicks
Smoke more weed
Get a six pack
Get more tattoos
Be swaggy
Cry less
Win fantasy football championship
Win softball league championship
Buy a house or a Rolex