mommygirl, CPA
@bigdumb_baby
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30,762
Following
945
Media
2,153
Statuses
36,888
ACTUALLY !!! the real official mommygirl | certified Never been Serious in my Life about anything
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Joined June 2011
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This is why I need to live in an old Wendy’s
My grandma’s house from the 40s/50s “solarium” why don’t all houses have this
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Teen at chipotle asked for my Snapchat and I broke his brain when I told him that was very sweet but I am 27 years old
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Omg what if during the Tom Brady roast his son calls him a bad kisser
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Don’t forget about this when you start seeing me in turtlenecks everyday
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We as a society need to bring back swagged out houses urgently
What do y’all think of the architectural style of this home and what is it called?
Home in Midlothian, TX
Do you like the interior?
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Choose ur fighter
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This is what I’d wear if I was on somebody’s boat rn
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Don’t forget about this when you start seeing me in turtlenecks everyday
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Yep 👍 my coffee run outfit today . Sorry we like t*ts and *ss grow up
are women who wear tiny workout clothes in public exhibitionists? This is my most boomer opinion. put a big overshirt on for christ's sake
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More realistic today
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my friend went on a date with a guy and he rear-ended her at a stop sign while they were leaving .. rizz
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Specifically me
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This is probably my last thirst trap ever I’m devoting myself to the Lord tomorrow
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Before I start mindlessly drilling holes into the wall do any of you guys know which one of these walls is least likely to have a water line running behind it . Thanks !
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Can men stop hating smart women so I can get married I need to be taken out of the workforce right now
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Wanna come over? I have NFL Sunday Ticket and made quiche
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My Snapchat memories hold the key to making me Sad As Fuck
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If u start Teams calls any earlier than the exact time you need a heavier workload
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Mark my words im getting a margarita tonight whether yall like it or not
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The coolest thing about being married probably f*cking while watching jeopardy
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I can’t show you guys but it’s 100% the n*de I took wearing only this Wendy’s hat
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Putting on a slutty outfit this weekend to stand at the bar and act like a huge bitch toward any man that approaches me
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Wouldn’t you like to know weather boy
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Rare cruise night of me not dressed like a divorced dad
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Don’t talk about my spray tan hands talk about my cute new necklace
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When im married im locking the kids in the basement for 2 hours so i can tan topless while my husband mows the lawn
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I need him to sl*t me out so bad . and yep at 9am on a Monday get over it
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Ok soooo apparently I need to stop telling men that I have a g*n when they ask to buy me a drink at the bar . I hate woke America
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Actually got ready for my (remote) job today (waist up) 🤩
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This is unfortunately not photoshopped
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You guys need to stop doing this it’s so disgusting
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If it was the 90s these rappers would’ve k*lled each other already like cmon
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Love a swimsuit you can’t do anything in without risking arrest . Buying immediately
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At the bar and hear my friend asking a guy “do you know who mommygirl CPA is??” Cmon
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Guy at the bar I’ve never met asks the table “do any of you guys have that blonde Alabama girl on your feed” and he was literally talking about my account
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this message from a 23 y/o will haunt me forever
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Im literally tearing up .. a girl dmed me on here last year for career advice/trying to get her CPA and she just dmed me that she quit the job she didnt like and passed the CPA exam and im so happy for her
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Joined the gym and when the salesman asked me my goals I said “To get an ass” he was like “Alright then”
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Does anybody need a wife Im ready to be taken off the streets for good
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One time i was watching Entourage with a guy and he was like 'Wow these guys are so disrespectful toward women' like dude...just laugh Im not the leader of the Feminist movement stop being so Weird
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It’s Time to nuke this account a random passerby in Wisconsin just recognized me on the street
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Of course he blocked me before tweeting about me for clout LMFAO stop being so dramatic bro I was having a very hard time and was very busy and didn’t have a chance to bake and also I’ve never met you and don’t owe you anything
@Tyre_94
I can’t stand men acting like baby back
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Me vs my on repeat👍
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Sike I found my dream guy
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Having Derrick Henry on my fantasy team just makes me asking him what sport he played when I was a freshman at Alabama so much more humiliating
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Im working on getting as hot as I was in 2021 when I was severely depressed but super sexy . Except this time I will be happy
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I don't count sex unless I was bought a steak beforehand so I really am a Virgin. Wow
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Deleted my Twitter for a week and now they’re punishing me by putting Skechers ads in between every other tweet
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My smear campaign being hosted by a man who sends unsolicited dick pics is really just the icing on the unbaked brownies of all this
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Wearing the Sydney Sweeney one piece to the beach sorry everyone
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I’m going to make 26.6k brownies tomorrow for everyone I promise I swear man cmon man bro im serious
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I hate when I ask a man whats happening during the middle of a movie and he says “Idk watch the movie ” . Um WTF?!!!?? MANSPLAIN like your ancestors Fought for
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I want a bf but like 3 days a week only . I have stuff to do
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Closing my dms in the event I drink enough beachside pina coladas today to drop my first bikini pic since 2022
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Why am i getting sick i ask after drinking only green beer and eating frozen pizza for 3 days straight
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Do not email me the link to an Excel file instead of the actual attachment . I will never open it
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