Leandro Dottavio
@leodottavio
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Comedian. Champion. Centaur instagram: leofdot
Studio City, Los Angeles
Joined June 2009
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Curious if
@clayharbs82
@Colt3FIVE
@CObrochta33
and myself put on a little
@magicmikemovie
type show on for Colton’s charity.... would that be something y’all would show up to for charity? 🔥😂🧐 lets pick a venue
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They couldn’t get the cameras up to Mt. Olympus for my hometown 😞
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I dont always drink green tea lattes, but when I do I prefer to add a shot of expresso.
@DosEquis
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I’ve had long hair for 3 years and have literally lost THOUSANDS of hair ties. Where do they go? The borrowers exist.
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My roommate and his gf were soooo soooo happy they built this shitty haunted ginger bread house. If this gets a 1,000 likes I’ll post a video crushing it.
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The world never comes together quite like when a traffic light isn’t working. The blinking red lights make everyone courteous and kind. Everyone really roots for each other at a broken traffic light. It’s beautiful
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#inmyfeelingschallenge
the only reason I’m doing this challenge is cause
@therachlindsay
said I couldn’t dance💋
@thebkoof
what you think? 😂😂
#thebachelorette
#drake
#kekechallenge
…
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A lot of fans are asking about my dad and wonder why he might be disappointed about my athletic career. It’s because he was a Buccaneer. I don’t mean he played football, I mean he was an actual pirate who plundered off the Spanish-American coast.
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Some folks say I deleted a bunch of incriminating tweets before this ep of
@thebachelorette
. I confess it’s true. Once I said I was at a club and raised my hands in the air and waved them around like I “just don’t care.” But I have to be honest with my fans, I DID care.
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Anyone else find one song they love play it 2 million times until it gets annoying then move onto the next song victim?
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I got covid. When I called to tell my girlfriend the news, she said: “Let me know when we can bang again” and hung up.
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People that get offended when strangers babies don’t like them.... yes that baby can tell you’re a terrible human being. Live with it.
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As far as my hair routine goes: I’m trying to come up with one to share with you guys.
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Every first date should be a coffee date. If a dude or chick doesn’t wanna have a sober conversation for a few hours it isn’t going anywhere serious.
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Same my brother
@leodottavio
you’re a great friend and such a hilarious person. That date was as difficult to be a part of as it was to watch, but I am so fortunate for our friendship. You’re the man, cheers mate!
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@MichaelRapaport
@BacheloretteABC
Hey with all due respect cause I loved your tiki torch rant video (classic) I don’t take advice from 50 year old men that can’t grow facial hair.
#khaldrogo
#drogo
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@TouchingBasePGP
I’m the modern day Samson man unfortunately can’t cut my hair. That is where my strength against the haters resides . It’s also really good for fights in the stunt world that I’m in. As for paradise... I guess all will be revealed soon?
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Sometimes an eye roll isn’t enough to show my annoyance towards someone. I’m gonna start barrel rolling on the floor to show annoyance.
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check out the new Jesus Danny shirts and hoodies champions. ❤️
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Went into a sex store today with a really knowledgeable sex toy rep. Ladies trust me. You DO NOT need a man.
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Wash your hands and stuff but then hug your mothers ok? Tell your mom you love her every day.
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Today I’m debating on whether to marry a lady that told me she not only loves pizza crust, but that she eats other people’s left over pizza crust. That spoke to my heart.
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You guys thought they aired everything? Lol in the words of the great Matt Damon. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES!!?
Well, this is interesting. Becca says her first kiss this season was with Leo, but it didn't air on television!
#TheBachelorette
#bachelorette
#BachelorNation
#Leo
#Becca
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Honored
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People on the internet are saying I’m vain, I’m a narcissist, and I’m a Tarzan wannabe. That’s not true! I’m NOT a Tarzan wannabe.
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When you’re cameraman fights an opposing camera man it’s like two goalies going at it in hockey.
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@NealLovesYou
What’s up Neal, well I’d say I’m average except for the fact that I was born out of a fight between Thor and Samson that has never been talked about. Thor threw a right hand at Samson’s chest, as Samson back-handed thor in the face, resulting in what most would call the 80s.
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My gf wants to go on a hike tomorrow morning, Valentine’s Day. We’ve dated for over 2 years and never once went on a hike. I’m convinced she’s going to try to get rid of me in a violent manner tomorrow.
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I know so many dudes spending a pay check on a chick who’s scamming them, while Mother’s Day rolls around and they spend $4.25 on a card for their creator. Cucks
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@MattOverton_LS
They are coming to me man, I already had my dolphins build a studio for Chris Harrison and the gang. It’s got AC and everything.
#islandlife
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Kids think having sex is the most adult thing you can do, but it’s actually buying curtains.
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If I don’t call my girl beautiful, I always know that Indian men on Instagram will.
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Tune in tonight? And I love the
@UniStudios
fire department legends have saved a few of our brothers in the Waterworld stunt show and we are forever in debt. ❤️
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So this guy hated on me for no reason. I then Dmed his mom, and not only got an answer… but the follow.
@ConorNigel
get your little bro 😂😂😂
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Why is it that if you’re “the shit” it’s great, but if you’re a “piece of shit”, (not the whole piece of shit) it’s terrible?
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My best dinero
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Plastic surgery on women looks like SHIT. Fake lips? Look like shit. Fillers? You look like a fucking chipmunk. Braces? That’s cool. But seriously stop the insanity.
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🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😂
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I’ll never utter a negative word about anyone entering the dating hunger games. Good luck to all gladiators.
#Thebachelor
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The best thing about getting that extra hour of time today was the possibility of getting some things done around the house, laundry, maybe clean out the garage. I didn’t do any of those things, but it’s nice that it was a possibility.
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My girlfriend yelled at me at a restaurant today “you don’t need bread ever”. 2020 is the worst year ever
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@AROD
you should be the first ever guest on the
@chrisdelia
podcast. Be cool to see how a baseball expert super athlete would verbally spar with a comedian who knows enough about baseball to know John olerud wore a helmet on the field
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For so long I was made to think that liking cats was some kind of crime. That dogs are some how “better”. Fuck you all. I LOVE cats.
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In the summer people congregate around water. In the winter people congregate around fire.
#people
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I admire San Fernando Valley peeps who can ask for rides to LAX. Truly remarkable that to save that 40-50 dollar uber you put a friend through a grueling 2 hour traffic filled hell... and then ask for a ride when you get back in town one more time. The balls that takes, amazing.
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We will continue being the funniest guys on the Internet
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My kids one day will ask me about this year. I’ll tell them that papa still killed it. 🖕🏻
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In
@TheStudiocity
and I see a congregation of youth all wearing corduroy or cargo pants. I have never seen multiple people wearing corduroy in one place at one time in my life, let alone sprinkled in with cargo pants! It’s 100 degrees and the youth is wearing corduroy. I’m old.
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@usweekly
@TheRachLindsay
There is an old Viking saying; it’s not important how you slay the dragon only that you steal it’s eggs. I trust my Viking lineage.
#dragons
#roseisaroseisarose
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Long hair, don’t care!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
I’m kidding. I care. A lot. Do you have any idea how much time and money it takes to maintain this frothy mane?! Split-ends are a bitch! And don’t get me started on the effects of humidity!
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@FallOnRox
No he wasn’t. Been watching for that guy whatever happened to him after they left him on that island?
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@MamaNoosh
Yes it’s a humpback whale named Lorenzo from the Mediterranean Sea. Good guy, known him since I was about 14 when we ran into eachother at a dolphin rave. He gives me rides I make sure I let him know where the whale watching ships are, he loves the attention.
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Nothing feels better, I repeat NOTHING feels better than taking your heels off at the end of the night.
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I just had 2,700 calories at McDonald’s. In one seating
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We have some pretty advanced technology at this point, but absolutely no one has decided that a quiet leaf blower would help the world. Is it too much to ask?
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I hate north face jacket wearing dudes in Los Angeles when it’s 65 degrees.
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Some ass just put the Scar killing Mufasa scene on his story and I watched it and I immediately had flash backs to horrible childhood memories and I immediately started drinking. 😤
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@Pacheltheories
Actually my espresso machine :( don’t know what a curling iron is. Is it in the gym?
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If you’re allergic to cats you’re a pussy. Meet Brando.
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Charles that’s so sweet man. Boys night out?
If Leo doesn’t win The Bachelorette, he can hit up my girlfriend. Idec. We could chill and shit.
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A girls text convo with her best friend is a vessel of secrets and truths never to be read by a man.
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@LooseGringa
I once spent 5 days meditating with monks in Thailand. No food, no water, just silence. Thanks for the awesome tweet 🙏🙏
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@Dannymullen
and I would like to announce our endorsement of Mike Kagay for district attorney of Topeka, Kansas! KAGAY ALL DAY!
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@astrid_loch
I never clog drains cause I’m handy around the house for sure (pops is a contractor) but yes. If you have sulfate free shampoo and conditioner I’m all in and then probably won’t replace it. Oh and hi 👋🏻
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@OutoftheLimo
I will walk with you through the mists of Avalon with spear and shield held high.
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Can you imagine growing up in a vegan household? Fuckkkkk just no meat? You won’t reach your max height.
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