Legal Assets
@legal_assets
Followers
1,380
Following
456
Media
281
Statuses
2,809
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Adalet
• 229495 Tweets
#4MINUTES_EP7
• 110778 Tweets
Chester
• 109053 Tweets
ベイマックス
• 108916 Tweets
Merchan
• 87219 Tweets
Jean Carroll
• 67100 Tweets
Eagles
• 66452 Tweets
#2KDay
• 65265 Tweets
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TANNIE
• 54862 Tweets
#dilanpolat
• 42720 Tweets
Franco Escamilla
• 36228 Tweets
Ayşenur Ezgi Eygi
• 33350 Tweets
Packers
• 29860 Tweets
#CristinaMostraElTitulo
• 22644 Tweets
Ganesh Chaturthi
• 14787 Tweets
Bafana Bafana
• 14541 Tweets
Tesehki
• 13943 Tweets
Barcola
• 13148 Tweets
Chaine
• 12323 Tweets
Alina Habba
• 10927 Tweets
Go Birds
• 10887 Tweets
Skylar
• 10060 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
I will forever be in the Elle Woods’ “fuck men, I’m gonna get a law degree” phase.
3
33
205
I had my year-end evaluation and it went like “You have great substantive legal skills, but you don’t come into the office enough and you don’t attend social events and you don’t regularly answer emails on weekends.” Yes, precisely.
90
350
13K
So the Department of Education really went without student loan payments for more than 1.5 years and then just gonna turn around and act like they actually need them?
13
2K
5K
A girl from law school posted a picture of her and two other prosecutors and captioned it, “We cute but we’ll lock you up.” And just... no?
34
40
1K
Got my first firm paycheck today and I keep waiting for someone to email saying they overpaid me/didn’t make the proper deductions. Asking as a first gen lawyer from a very traditional blue collar background: Does this feeling ever go away?
75
27
1K
Any of my single people ever just get really annoyed that you have to live life on your own? Like you have to solve every problem by yourself and you’re the only one you can depend on to fix shit?
35
359
1K
@Ihaveagaurdcat
My evaluation said I was “completely unresponsive” for not replying to a Saturday email that another associate responded to on Sunday morning…
4
2
803
Is this blazer/dress combo appropriate for court tomorrow?
Context: I’m a judicial law clerk and will be sitting in the public seating area.
125
3
720
If your child is scared to bring someone home because of their race, gender, etc., then you failed as a parent. And I am not open to any wrong takes on this.
5
146
615
Someone tell me to apply to this job I’m very minimally qualified for. And very minimally qualified is being generous.
75
4
341
Yesterday a guy I talked to for 8+ months (I know, I know) announced his new relationship. Today I slept with an NFL player.
11
2
264
I GOT AN OFFER 🎉
I officially scheduled an interview for tomorrow morning!!! Plz send all the good vibes (and any advice for interviewing with a federal judge) 🙏🏻
6
0
52
13
0
245
Someone tell me I’m not a shitty person for last minute cancelling on getting drinks with a guy because I convinced myself he may be a murderer.
34
0
246
Our intern told me that I’m the fashionably dressed attorney in the office and YA’LL I’VE OFFICIALLY MADE IT!!!
2
2
192
Is there a way to be a lawyer but move to a new city every 3-5 years?
28
7
167
I’m truly worried to pay off my credit card with it bc I feel like it’s not mine and I’ll have to give some back. Is this a form of imposter syndrome?
4
1
154
Any else feel like they’re just not doing enough lately? Not working hard enough, not going to the gym enough, etc.
12
5
138
When Valentine’s Day lands on a payday, you buy yourself a new kate spade purse. Am I doing this self-love thing right?
6
4
135
Anyone else just feel like a terribly shitty employee during all of this and you’re surprised no one’s said anything to you yet?
7
12
118
I deleted all of my dating apps today and I feel ✨ free ✨
7
1
116
Men on Bumble are like “I have a job and I own a car.” Like wow, way to be a grown ass adult. Is that supposed to be a turn on?
7
9
92
Men, would you notice if a girl sent you the same nude twice? I can’t remember if I’ve already sent this guy my favorite nude but like would he even notice?
19
0
79
I was deadlifting at the gym today and afterwards a little girl (maybe 7 or 8yo) came up to me with the widest eyes and said, “what you just did looked really good.” And honestly, that’s the kind of energy I want for the future generation of women.
3
3
70
@kittensnotkids
@BrothaDom
@AceHainley
@QualiaRedux
@eeberquist
Nah, he’s just making people gouge themselves.
0
0
62
My parents: Why don’t you ever come visit?
Me: *tries to work from home*
My parents: *makes every noise possible*
😑😑😑
2
0
59
A man is coming over so I can get laid and he just texted me “I’m bringing you food.” Keeper.
3
1
53
I wish I could text my dog and let him know I’m on my way home.
3
7
51
I officially scheduled an interview for tomorrow morning!!! Plz send all the good vibes (and any advice for interviewing with a federal judge) 🙏🏻
6
0
52
Normalize women being single and not actively searching for a man.
0
5
49
Hooked up with the good sexter on Sunday night. He truly found enjoyment in me being pleasured and I’m gonna need all men to bring that energy moving forward. TIA.
3
0
45
A guy is annoyed that I’m in his way at the gym. I was here first and I’m lifting more than you so gtfo.
4
1
44
I hate this time of the year where everyone gets engaged. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them. But I’m jealous that they were able to find an emotionally available man when I’m not sure any more exist.
5
1
46
@LizCGil
This is also why they push coming into the office. We have a hybrid schedule with no mandated in office days, but they view in office days important for face time. So you want me to come into the office to socialize and then… go home and work?
1
0
43
No, I’m not ok. I don’t have anyone to cry over while I listen to the magic that is Red.
2
1
42
When a guy says he’s looking for someone “stable”… Like are we talking mentally, emotionally, or financially? Because I have a different answer for all of these.
1
1
43
A pro se defendant just filed a motion to reconsider his denied motion to reconsider. So welcome to the rest of my term as a law clerk...
1
0
40
If my office door is ever shut, there’s a 90% chance that I can’t be bothered to sit appropriately in a dress or skirt.
1
3
36
What’s something you did as a child that exemplifies who you are as an adult? I’ll go first. When I was little, I quit soccer after one season because the boys wouldn’t share the ball and I thought it was pointless to just run up and down the field.
13
2
40
I’ve been in my new city for three days and I’ve already invited myself onto a guy’s boat.
2
0
38
Do the anti-vaxxers realize all of their “leaders” are vaxxed?
3
4
37
UPDATE: I passed the initial screening and my application was sent to the interview panel. So someone thinks I’m at least minimally qualified!
Someone tell me to apply to this job I’m very minimally qualified for. And very minimally qualified is being generous.
75
4
341
4
0
36
This man unmatched with me because I asked if he was watching football… On a Sunday… During NFL playoffs… These streets are rough.
3
1
38
@cat_i_e
I’m only nervous because all the other clerks wear strictly black, dark grey, and navy blue… so I will definitely stand out.
13
0
34
I start my new job today and I feel like I’m gonna nervous vom.
9
1
32
Does anyone else resent the city where you went to law school?
16
1
32
I normally hate working next to a busy tourist street, but tonight I had a group of drunk girls stop in front of my car and tell me I’m beautiful and ya know what, I’ll allow it.
0
0
33
I used to have a “friend” that would never call me an attorney. She would say things like “you do law,” “you went to law school,” etc. We’re no longer friends but it still peeves me whenever I think about it. Surround yourself with those who celebrate your accomplishments.
1
2
31
I hate that I feel dramatic for considering therapy. Like I feel like I haven’t experienced enough trauma to justify talking to a therapist. But ya girl has serious intimacy issues.
8
0
29
This discourse isn’t really having the effect on me they thought it would. Instead of planning to keep unwanted pregnancies, I now just don’t want to ever have sex again.
3
2
31
Men, why do you feel the need to press the elevator button after it’s already been pressed and someone’s standing their waiting?
13
1
29
Remember when we used to collectively make fun of anti-vaxxers and now half the population is team anti-vax
2
2
29
Me flirting: Do my freshly manicured nails look nice wrapped around this greasy cheeseburger?
1
4
27
Going to bed early so I don’t order $50 worth of dessert on Uber Eats. Is this... self control?
2
0
28
Y’all ever come home from a girls night and think, I’m a gem and I deserve to be treated like one.
0
1
29
Man: I deleted my bumble btw.
Me: Oh god, I hope not because of me.
2
0
29
What do the ethics rules say about billing a client for a mental breakdown that occurred during research for a court filing?
2
0
29
Why do streaming apps release weekly episodes? No one wants your knock off cable.
4
1
29
So at this point, I just assumed that I didn’t get that federal clerkship I’ve been trying for since March. Well at 11pm last night, the judge emailed the managing partner at the firm I worked for in law school, telling me to call her today. And I’m SWEATING BULLETS.
3
0
23
Applying for my ideal position tonight. Plz send good vibes.
3
0
25
I know it’s only 10:30am but I kinda wanna be popping a bottle of champagne rn.
2
0
23
3
0
24
Update: We’re going on a date next weekend...?
Also can someone tell me why this man messaged me, “looks like you’re in a pickle,” and my drunken response was “good thing I like pickles 😜😂” THIS IS WHY IM SINGLE.
0
0
16
1
0
20
@cece_honeybee
I had no bad vibes at all until he started asking way too many questions about where I was comfortable meeting (bars, parks, etc.) and then suggested meeting at his place instead.
12
0
22
I need a lululemon shopping spree that someone else pays for.
3
1
22
Did law school normalize total mental instability for anyone else?
1
1
22
Lololol not me forgetting that maintenance was coming today and having my vibrator laying out for all to see
3
0
19
All men suck. And if they get offended by that statement, then they definitely suck.
1
2
20
@emiline129
THIS. I only feel bad bc it was last minute and he was already showered and dressed. But honestly, I don’t want a guy who can’t respect when I feel uncomfortable.
4
0
21
Me: I order takeout 3-4 times a week.
Guy on Bumble: Don’t you think that’s a little much?
Me:
6
0
20
This guy tried sexting me at 8pm, but I was too tired. So I took a little nap and now I’m just casually jumping in at 2am.
2
0
18
With bar results coming out this week, I’m going to nominate this week The Five Days of Retail Therapy.
1
0
17
@piratefalcon325
My end goal is to get back into government work, but I unfortunately have student loans to pay off before then…
3
0
20
I love when guys say “you became a lawyer and now you think you’re too good for me.” Like nah bro, I realized my self worth and now I know I’m too good for you.
1
1
19
I decided I’m going to dog instead of human today. So I ate breakfast and went back to bed.
✨self care✨
0
1
17
If my student loan debt gets cancelled, the economy won’t be the only thing that’s stimulated.
1
2
18
What is the best way to donate used clothes to first gen law students?
6
3
19
I just wanna go out, shake my ass, and make decisions I deeply regret.
2
2
18
*hungover af*
*masturbates*
“Alright, I’m ready to go to the gym.”
3
0
18
Finally squatted 205lbs yesterday, which has been a long term goal for me, so a bitch is feeling GOOD!
0
0
17
It’s actually worse because I know the vibrator can get me off.
Having a vibrator die on you while you’re masturbating is like having sex with a man
92
773
4K
0
3
18
Why do we realistically only have one full day off of work?
0
6
18
Is post-socialization depression real? I’ve spent the past 10 days around people and now that I’m finally alone, I just want to cry.
2
0
16
This guy stopped responding after I told him that I’m a lawyer. And honestly, I don’t blame him.
0
0
18
Is there an airplane mode or do not disturb for while you’re watching porn? I’m tired of getting some of yall’s like notifications while I’m trying to get off.
3
1
16
What’s everyone’s party personality? Mine’s always brings the tequila.
11
1
18
@jefyuaz
@michael_ronning
@sfosteredi
@geno_kusa
He quite literally said his wife and children have no right to privacy…
0
0
16
Anyone else mind blown when someone posts about their kids on here? I just assume everyone is single and barely taking care of themselves, just like me.
0
1
18