res judicatie
@cat_i_e
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metro atl family law + criminal defense attorney | jesus follower
Georgia, USA
Joined September 2012
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law review but it’s just me rating laws on a scale of 0 to 10
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Excited to announce that, with less than 50 days of law school left, I have discovered that Option 6 on my keyboard makes the §.
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convinced getting married in your early 20s is just a fad thing because there can’t be this many people finding their soulmates on the Dahlonega campus of the University of North Georgia
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the bar exam:
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seeing an animal I’ve never seen before thrills the hell out of me
Please keep Libby in your thoughts. Nothing happened, she’s just fun to think about periodically
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we’ve upgraded from “would u still love me if I was a worm”
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this is a law school hypothetical for like … 4 different classes.
A New York fertility doctor who was accused of using his own sperm to impregnate several patients died over the weekend when the hand-built airplane he was in fell apart mid-flight and crashed, authorities say.
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I just walked into a public defender office and asked for an interview like it was 1975 … and they actually interviewed me
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excited to announce I just got a rejection email for a job I applied to on august 30, 2021
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In 2018, I attended a wedding where the couple did their send off with mini light sabers instead of sparklers, and the batteries in my light saber have lasted longer than their marriage did
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confirmation hearings are a good periodic reminder that at least half of our lawmakers have never read a single law
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worth noting that Kenan Thompson has been quietly making his case for Jeopardy! host for years now
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exhibit to a RICO indictment:
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I’ve gained like 15lbs during the pandemic and I’m inclined to be mad at myself but you know what? This body has kept me healthy through a worldwide pandemic and a bar exam. She deserves ice cream.
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every day I’m like “I should become a notary” but then I’m like “that seems like too much responsibility” … I’m literally a lawyer
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calling for an end to remote work when gas is $4 a gallon 😩
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going to court in a new jurisdiction without knowing any local rules or even which door to walk in to get in the building
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who wrote this footnote that I found in a georgia court of appeals case
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your honor my client lacked the requisite mens rea or ruths chris or whatever
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we spend so much time & money on diet and fitness, yet every time a 100 year old woman gets asked for her secret to longevity, the answer is jagerbombs
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my judge told his jury I passed the bar and everyone clapped 😭
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@chuckietoyou
If your unit comes with W/D, you better check it out before you move in. Moved into an apt with a dryer that looked like this in May. It was full of mold and cat hair.
Made them terminate my lease, refund the rent I’d paid, and I moved out the next day.
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Leonard v. Pepsico, Inc.:
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“sir, your attorney is turning red and she might kill you.” - a judge to one of my clients yesterday after he admitted to using drugs the night before his court date
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“I think men whose style I disagree with should have to experience the horrors of war” is a very insane thing to say
I think Harry Styles would benefit from 3 years in the Marine Corps.
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accidentally girlbossed too hard and now all my criminal clients are out jail which means there is no one in jail to talk about what a badass I am to other inmates
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when I was in law school I used to keep a freezer bag duct taped to the shower wall and I would put my phone inside it and watch netflix in the shower
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one of my clients was supposed to get out of jail day after christmas (intentional on the part of the prosecutor). she just emailed me that they let her out early and she’s home now and I am CRYING.
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planning my errands around getting a baja blast, call that dew process
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what’s protocol if opposing counsel gets arrested for a felony?
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I got a VERY unexpected raise today and I am so excited that I almost cried
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Asking attorneys and professors for bar prep advice is always interesting because everyone either says (a) they worked a part time job / had hobbies, or (b) they say they didn’t speak to another human or leave the house for three straight months.
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did y’all’s 1L property class cover mortgages in the level of detail that’s on the bar? because mine did not
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@davidhth
@RMFifthCircuit
Pretty horrifying there is such a title as “active shooter expert”
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@Ginamazinn
YES QUEEN! Pro tip - if you later get accepted to a higher ranked school, but offered less $$$ - ask if they do “scholarship reconsiderations.” I was offered a full ride from a T3, got accepted to a T1, and they offered me WAY more when I told them about the full ride.
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what is it that y’all think happens when you form an LLC lmao
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there should be a law school class on basic office functions because I can’t transfer a call for shit
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between “no federal solution to the pandemic” and “doesn’t have the authority to cancel student loans” … what does joe biden do all day
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I’ve been using ADIEU as my first Wordle guess for about a month and it is … not as helpful as you would think
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I don’t ever ask my paralegal to do anything I don’t know how to do myself and I think every young attorney should be trained that way when it’s practical
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there should be graduation registries like wedding and baby registries
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Last night I had a good cry about how I felt unemployable and I was worried I had messed things up by not doing better in law school and focusing so much on my business, and today … I’ve gotten two really good job offers.
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It’s absolutely comical that I provided the state bar with contact info for all my employers since I was 18 years old, three personal references, and consented to a credit check, yet they won’t trust me to drink water out of a bottle with a label. Today we are fueled by rage.
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there were like 2 solid months of time where things felt safe and normal and we could take our masks off, and I spent those two months … studying for the bar exam
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if I made $200k+ a year I would simply not care what anyone thought of my line of work
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I just sent my boyfriend who has NO legal training a really long MBE question that I missed and I said “guess the answer” and he got it RIGHT and I am ANNOYED
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jury selection is like, do you live in this county, have you formed an opinion about the defendant’s guilt or innocence, have you ever been the victim of a crime, do you have an opinion of law enforcement, do you love this shit, are you high right now, do you ever get nervous
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So I had like 4 heavily poured drinks and then I couldn’t sleep so I did something chaotic
I paid off my student loans
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today I was talking to some people about law school during covid and I was like “I have friends I said goodbye to before spring break 2020, thinking we’d be back in a week, and I’ll probably never see them again” and I think I really killed the vibes
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submitting my first ever filing to the court of appeals in the next two days
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I finished the bar exam and I truly have no feelings about how I did but I am so happy to be free
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if I get favorable bar results next week, my judge is going to swear me in in front of the jury for a murder trial lmao
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Gather ‘round everyone, I’m here to offer an announcement on my job saga!!!
A state-level clerkship came available in my hometown late last week & the judge offered it to me, and I accepted & I’ll be starting in the next few days!
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why, in the year of our lord 2022, are attorneys STILL not including their email address in their signature block
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I am pleased to announce that I just googled the 2021 release date for Starbucks PSLs, and I am sharing my research with you all for free
It is August 24
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I had to pick my dad up from work yesterday because he suddenly got too tired to drive and didn’t know why, which was scary.
Y’all, this man realized today that the medicine he got out of his office’s first aid kit …
was TYLENOL PM 😩
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I’m finishing Inventing Anna and I … why did her attorney tell her it’s his decision whether she takes the stand??
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this is not a subtweet at anyone specific, but it seems worth nothing that if you aren’t happy with the way the grossly underpaid instacart shopper buys your groceries, you can go and do that yourself
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last month I reported a company to the state bar who was giving crappy, non-attorney legal assistance to spanish speakers, and today the bar called me to say that the company agreed not to do that anymore, so I guess I did a good deed
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I know y’all were enjoying my bad online dating content but unfortunately a man was nice to me and we’ve been on 4 dates and I think he’s a keeper
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nobody:
a billboard on I-75 in rural South Georgia:
If you think this Georgia heat is hot, imagine what the fires of Hell feel like. Repent.
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An email that I sent recently is now an exhibit in a case in another county. Upon learning this, I noticed a glaring typo in the email. RIP.
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earlier today I was walking into my office, talking my cell phone, then I got a text, then someone walked in my office, then someone called my desk phone, then I got an IM from the person who called me, and I literally burst into tears
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I know we lost an hour of sleep but I simply cannot be mad about the sun being out longer in the evenings
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today I won a contested motion that I have been scared about for days and that I did not believe I had a snowball’s chance in hell of winning.
cried happy tears and got big hugs from my client and his family. one of my favorite days of practicing so far.
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laughing all the way to the courthouse
alternative caption, I got sworn in today
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I’m hesitant to post since I haven’t accepted yet because I’m ✨indecisive✨ but I was offered a clerkship this morning!!!
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every time I have a tweet go viral I get so annoyed, because I personally find so many of my other tweets so much funnier than this one
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