brooke
@ladyefron
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good not great ! @bncmap
Los Angeles, CA
Joined December 2010
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If I was Sam and Carly suggested we name our joint web series “iCarly” I’d body slam her into another dimension
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there is no doubt in my mind Pete Davidson has his own set of fairly odd parents
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He’s a 10 but he’s impossibly fast and strong. His skin is pale white and ice cold. His eyes change color, and sometimes he speaks like he’s from a different time. He never eats or drinks anything. He doesn’t go out in the sunlight.
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Hey sorry I’m not answering your texts I’m completely booked for the day
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Missing the innocence of 2011 when I would listen to The A Team by Ed Sheeran and fantasize about a boy in my math class asking me to prom without realizing that song was about a drug overdose
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Ok sure freddie suggested the name fine then I’m body slamming freddie
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My friends developed an inside joke while I wasn’t there and I’ll be taking each of them to court individually and suing for intense psychological abuse
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I am so incredibly talented. I have the ability to go from looking at myself in the mirror sobbing because I’m ugly to five seconds later thinking I’d have a shot with Andrew Garfield if he just got to know me.
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He’s a 10 but he was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning he breaks his legs, and every afternoon he breaks his arms. At night he lies awake in agony until his heart attacks put him to sleep.
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If I see a cute man on a dating app with more than one picture of him doing something active I swipe left out of respect because I know I can’t be what he needs. It’s called being selfless and having a heart of pure gold.
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If Friends was made in the 2020s Chandler would be drowning in pussy Ross would be in jail and Joey would be in a content house
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Addicted to them and their matching pajama sets
Pedro Pascal and Andrew Garfield at the 2023 LACMA Art+Film Gala
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I’d have to be restrained
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I just realized I’m so much cooler than all the boys from my high school that I used to want to kiss and this is a great feeling
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worked up the courage to post a photo of myself on the beach in a bathing suit and someone comments “you have a beautiful soul” does anyone have a gun
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So sorry to announce I will have to change my username
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Bringing an IV drip to the theatre
Paul Mescal joins Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield in ‘We Live in Time’
The 3 of them will be involved in a love triangle while the movie is described as a funny, deeply moving and immersive story.
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5pm-7:59pm are dark hours for the depressed. Too late to nap but too early to go to bed.
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Signed a lease on an apartment because I loved the exposed brick in the kitchen. Moved in today to discover the brick is actually wallpaper ❤️
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I want to shrink Harry Styles down to the size of a vitamin and take him three times a day
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Nothing screams innocent more than this group of outstanding citizens
Lizzo is being represented by Hollywood lawyer Marty Singer for her harassment and toxic workplace lawsuit.
Singer’s clientele ranges from a variety of stars, including Bill Cosby, Johnny Depp, Charlie Sheen, Chris Brown, Brett Ratner, and currently, Jonah Hill.
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Ever since I turned 26 I’ve been violently attracted to Ross Geller. And I can’t even seek treatment because I lost my health insurance
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If I took one step out of the house wearing these bikini bottoms I’d be escorted to the nearest federal prison within 3 seconds
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Instead of taking my anxiety meds I will be shoving a Himalayan salt lamp up my ass
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To the people that dm me “you’ve taught me I don’t have to be skinny to be pretty” thanks so much but would you mind never saying that to me or anyone else again
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Perfect so in addition to the romance aspect he will also be a father. I need morphine
florence pugh and andrew garfield will play the parents of a little girl in rom-com ‘we live in time’
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I’m so sorry to announce that the girl who didn’t say thank you to me while I held the door for her will be spending the rest of her life in a maximum security federal prison
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Remind me to tell y’all about the time I got catfished on Club Penguin while playing mancala with penguin user “justin69” who convinced me he was Zac Efron
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Just wanted to pass this message along in the hopes that it helps someone else as much as it’s helped me
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I saw John Mulaney live last night and I’ve never been happier sadder and more turned on here are the shirts I got
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Is it really better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? 💔
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hey y’all PLEASE be ready with your bags packed by 6:55- the toxic gossip train will be picking you up at 7pm sharp
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John Mulaney leaving his dynamite 5 foot Jewish wife for Olivia Munn is a vicious attack on my people
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Someone just DMed me the answer to todays Wordle which I can only describe as an act of terrorism.
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Sorry if you missed my guinea pig’s q&a last night we’ll do another one soon
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Twenty two surely I’m not reading that right
22 years ago, ‘THE PRINCESS DIARIES’ released in theaters.
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I’m a flat earther in the sense that I think hills should be illegal
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It is impossible to be depressed while looking at this photo of Matthew Gray Gubler holding a leaf
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My crush was on the soccer team in second grade so naturally I made this shirt and wore it everyday
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Shocked to my core that 9 layers of expired concealer isn’t making my open wound of a pimple look any better ?
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I wish it wasn’t the single most embarrassing thing in the world to use a hashtag I feel like it could really be a useful tool
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Don’t shoot the messenger but i just got off the horn with god and he told me that he’s adding unsolicited advice as the 8th deadly sin
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I would rather be left at the altar than find out my celebrity crush has a girlfriend
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Being soft canceled for being a queer fetishizer because I said I loved that Matty Healy kissed a male fan. Sorry I meant to say ew! gay!!!
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15 year old queen had a point
one day i will be verified on twitter and all of you will wish you retweeted my tweets when i was just a small town girl
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Happy one year anniversary of getting my brother as my most compatible! Have loved this past year with him
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Knit this sweater with a tomato on it. The catch? Don’t really like tomatoes. ft. my Poppop
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Wow getting recognized as “that Jewish girl from Tiktok” after emerging from a public restroom stall that I just blew up is really humbling
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Do you think Chip Skylark knew he was redefining the music industry when he came out with My Shiny Teeth and Me
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Give me a gen z/millenial cusp version of these men or give me death
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Tears streaming down my face and into my mouth
every time i see videos of this little kid named sam who designs and makes clothes my heart literally grows 3 sizes… he’s going to be a famous designer mark my words!!!
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Accidentally used my DAY serum at NIGHT. Alexa call poison control
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Sometimes I convince myself Glee was a figment of my imagination my brain created to protect me so I didn’t off myself in 8th grade
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And might I suggest adding a glass of miso soup to the cocktail menu?
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Just called an 8 month old baby I met at the airport “king” so I need to be in federal prison
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Quinta and I are the same height so here’s an idea of how me and Andrew would look together according to the Snapchat scissor feature
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Mark my words the only logical next step for Pete is to break up Harry and Meghan Markle
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The real plothole in Twilight is the fact that the Cullens chose to repeat high school over and over again when they could have just...not?
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Sorry I’m late a boy DMed me that I had a pretty smile so I spent 20 minutes on his LinkedIn and and another half an hour on his mom’s Facebook
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“Just confirming he can’t see if I screenshot his Instagram story right” put that on my grave
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Someone stole my duvet cover tweet and made it a TiKTok that’s going viral which is annoying but I’m having a little fun with it
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Please don’t beep at me when the light turns green and I’m still picking at my skin in the rear view mirror. I’m clearly busy
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It’s incredible how I’m emotionally fulfilled by both of these songs equally
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Feeling like I need to be airlifted to the nearest medical facility
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When I say I’m in the mood for something sweet and my mom suggests strawberries? Grow up
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And on the third day god invented Snapchat scissors
Andrew Garfield with Jonathan Bailey, Ariana Grande, Zawe Ashton, and Tom Hiddleston at
#Wimbledon
day 14.
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PLEASE do not honk your horn at me I’m picking my split ends and if I lose this one I’ll never find it again
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I’ve had about 8 years of prep time to get my REAL ID but it’s gonna be a down the the buzzer type of situation
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There is no better feeling than showering after a beach day and getting the sand out of every crevice and then looking in the mirror to see your crispy disgusting little body
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Just FYI when I say “my trauma” I’m talking about the time in kindergarten when the fire alarm went off while I was in the bathroom and then I ran back to my classroom with my pants around my ankles and Jeffery Brown told everyone to look at my bagina
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Had to mute my sister on instagram because she’s skinnier than me- the decision was out of my hands.
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When I was in kindergarten the fire alarm went off while I was in the bathroom and I ran back into the classroom with my pants around my ankles but it’s actually this tweet that’s the most embarrassing that’s ever happened to me
Lady Efron uses wrong form of every day in recent TikTok
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My wifi isn’t working (I can’t watch my own instagram story over and over) I’m freaking out
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And from now on I’ll be BYOB (bring your own booster) to all future podcasts!! Thanks for your time
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Took my 27th Valentine’s Day being single into my own hands and got a guinea pig. She’s perfect and her name is Frankie.
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please please please I’ve been so good
“celebrities don’t owe you hugs at a meet and greet”
matthew gray gubler :
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Put me in coach
Ben Affleck says he, Bradley Cooper, Matt Damon and Jason Bateman are in a Wordle group chat together.
“You have to do the Wordle, the Quordle and the Octordle, and add up your score. It’s fiercely competitive, and there’s a lot of mockery and derision.”
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So anxious because I haven’t started packing. I’m not moving or going anywhere so I’m actually not sure where this is coming from.
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Here’s the story of how I knit a criminal minds themed sweater vest and then CBS saw it and sent me merch
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The biggest Stranger Things plot hole is Steve not being able to find a girlfriend
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Fucking the grinch
Marrying the count
Killing the leather gentleman
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