Khalid Shawarma 🪬
@l0tswife
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Pinned Tweet
a cigarette can be so many things... a close friend... a divine messenger... an enemy of the state... and a fourth thing...
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so there's this guy named dan schneider
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he's a line cook at cookout who's cheated on her a few times and she works at an ulta that's closing soon from retail theft. their love is so beautiful
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omfg get this girl a gun
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If I had a bf like this none of you would ever know I'd just log off forever. No chance in hell I'm letting you evil eye us
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the fourth wall was broken and we stare in horror at the grotesque cogs and gears that run this machination. Ziwe is brought to heel by gaggery wrought in her image. the cuntress becomes cunted upon. a flop of biblical proportion....
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concerned for your safety as a 250 lb 40 year old man...... built like a medieval blacksmith be serious....
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we need to end the plague of banal Grindr screenshots once and for all. nothing interesting or of note is happening here. being boring should be a cardinal sin. your inner world is as destitute as your outer
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Addison Beer, Madison Rae, Tate McBeer, Rate McMadison, Addibeer McRaeson, Sonrae Tatebeer, Beerson McRaedibeer, Raebee McRaeson, McSonson Sonbeerson, Beerdison McTate, Taterson Mc
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*through tears* stop cutting, for me babe?
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not watching this but BRING BACK FAT HASAN we need to FORCE FEED HIM
Old Video Of HasanAbi Being Extremely Edgy Has Resurfaced..😳
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can't imagine anyone more insufferable than a geriatric leather queen. I just know the scruff profile is a novel and he has an egregious case of pancake ass
Dude can’t be more then 25 years old. I have jockstrap older then he. He wouldn’t know the first thing about leather and S&M.
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she could chew through stone
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dasha nekrasova thinks she's jemima kirke, jemima kirke thinks she's chloë sevigny, and chloë sevigny thinks she's a cigarette
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any sort of "queer" "discourse" is easily summed up by this
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went to a Dorian Electra concert and honestly smelled some things I'd never want to encounter again. much love but whatever genders they have going on in there are not for me
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you are a freak and public menace for taking pics of people in a bathroom
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I'm going to turkey to get more hair installed around my asshole
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the red scare girls wish they had her clarity of thought and poetic cadence
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queening out is pro social behavior that was evolutionary selected for. when you kiki with the girls, baby that's ancestral
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I'm feeling deranged and I am a danger to myself at this moment. nothing has prepared me for this moment. crying and shaking and throwing up rn.
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this is incredibly sad and she doesn't deserve this but can we pick a more serious name for the disorder? "stiff-person syndrome" is something stan Twitter would use to describe Taylor's dancing, not a life altering neurological disease
Celine Dion has lost control of her muscles following battle with stiff-person syndrome, her sister reports:
“What breaks my heart is that she's always been disciplined. She's always worked hard.”
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rode a whole island goddamn he's busy
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she pissed hard in the mother urinal and had yaaaasparagus that day
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you are not so Julia. you are a man with asshole hair.
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you can lead a doll to kiki but you can't make her queen out
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Gilgamesh and Enkidu:
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getting mad at a guy for being hot.... normal behavior
Reminder, this is the White House National Monkeypox Response Deputy Coordinator.
We are in good hands with capable leadership during this crisis.
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him: you better not be Lebanese Shia Anya Taylor-Joy when I get home
my unruly ass:
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this is what it looks like when I'm cyberbullying
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she would love the eagle
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I've got a cornhole he could play....
Everyman Jason Kelce Is Just Hanging out on the Beach in Sea Isle, Playing Cornhole
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Girthmaster.... save me girthmaster.... girthmaster save me...... I'm so druuuunmk
@girthmasterr
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not only is it gauche to post Grindr screenshots but there is nothing happening here. nothing to laugh or inquire about. a contentless image that has taken up precious timeline real estate. A visual "if I eated soap" without a cultural contribution. go girl, give us nothing
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the trick to being well liked is being beautiful and funny. some of you should try that
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she would have been running a 13th century German tavern like the janissaries
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we need a color for the ruthless pursuit of capital and also one for being into pits
Never forget what they took from us (sex and magic)
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Andy Cohen should give Anderson Cooper some backshots on CNN then id watch
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calling yourself hot in the ad... how gauche... we'll let the audience decide
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he needs me
A 20-year-old from Hayden, Colorado, is the world bareback riding champion.
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people complaining about gay sex at the gay bar.... like go to a bookstore instead
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Jojo Siwa, Chappelle Roan, and Meghan Trainor come from a similar school of aesthetics. Different majors but the same alma mater
Jojo Siwa reveals that she isn’t that innocent after all:
“Just wait until I drop that F bomb,” she warns
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girl she needs a gun
A male Pheasant is trying to impress her but she is not impressed! 😂
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I scrolled past a dog on Tumblr in 2016 that makes you immune to posts like these and immune to posts that break that immunity so I'm actually going to have a wonderful September thanks to the immunity dog
Post a random photo otherwise everything goes wrong in September
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feeling unsafe with linebacker shoulders and alaskan fur trapper build is crazy
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card declines at the bathhouse and they pump your stomach
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why does he look like he's got one loaded in the chamber
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something so deeply unsettling about this waifish twink. he's a madame tussauds wax figure of Frankie Grande burdened with the curse of flesh. a dying puppetsmith in Lithuania wished the breath of life upon his driftwood creation not on a star but on a low orbit Starlink satalite
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Alexis Michelle, your Native American couture left the judges with.... reservations. I'm sorry my dear but you're up for elimination
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your past self wasn't worthy of love actually he didn't have enough muscles
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the nasty pig hat... the terminal case of bear's palsy.... the tom of finland star wars shirt.... flying turkish air.... a deeply unchique world that I'll never have insight into
Headed to my friend’s gay BDSM TPE slave training compound in a medieval European fortress for the next 2 months. I’ll likely be incommunicado until July or so, given that as a gimp, I won’t have access to electronics/social media. C’ya!!
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this would be the first thing you'd see every morning if we were in love btw
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every man in my DMs asking me if I can lift them like no bitch I got silver
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wow this blew up! may the zionist entity fall alongside the imperial powers propping it up.
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gay people should be able to make a living wage being a barista for four hours a day, four days a week. anything more is just cruel
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you could build a house with that amount of foundation
“water of the day” and it’s literally 3 flavours of juice americans are not real
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I'm racially ambiguous in the sense that I am not afraid to claim identities I am not
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aestheticize everything. be critically self-aware. never be genuine. consume ironically. layer artifice. present ephemerally. never be traceable. burn your cellphone. evade taxes. prioritize beauty to a detrimental degree. smoke a cunty little cigarette.
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okay
Fire island is funny bc I’m the only one at a table of 8 who got the burger and everyone else got salad 🫶🏼 let’s go baby
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it's just so important to have a little guy on your shirt to act as a refuge from the doldrums of office ennui. I think he's neat
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"smoking is gross" false, active smoking is gross. A social cigarette is fun and sexy and means you're popular and beautiful
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something quite ancient about seeing a beautiful man and whacking your worm later that night to the image of sweat beading on his inner thigh rather than scrolling through magic glass
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