Oluwatobi Kushimo 🦊
@kushtoby
Followers
12,819
Following
580
Media
2,936
Statuses
56,633
Vaso de Deus 🤖 PhD-ing Robotics🇳🇬🌐. The Sechuran Fox growing @spreadrobotics . All wisdom comes from God 🙏 I brag different
Illinois, USA
Joined December 2011
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
FEMA
• 1463443 Tweets
2NE1
• 319490 Tweets
Joker
• 168200 Tweets
#XiaoZhan33rdBDAY
• 158308 Tweets
天使の日
• 131059 Tweets
Mancuso
• 92450 Tweets
Campana
• 73660 Tweets
名探偵ピカチュウ
• 56321 Tweets
Grammys
• 51543 Tweets
AFFAIR EP6
• 37538 Tweets
Ocho
• 35966 Tweets
Bielsa
• 34801 Tweets
Pogba
• 34283 Tweets
Trump Bible
• 32116 Tweets
Ramírez
• 24816 Tweets
Uyuşturucu
• 20802 Tweets
HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY SMILEY
• 19380 Tweets
Best Record
• 17989 Tweets
マジルミエ
• 16965 Tweets
栞子ちゃん
• 13560 Tweets
菅野メジャー
• 12189 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
On this day two weeks ago, I had a dream of the event immediately following the rapture. I saw people in distress, communities in disarray. I wondered why. Then the Word of the Lord came to me saying, "many who assume that they are ‘rapturable’ will be left behind on that day…
1
12
36
You’ve watched John Wick but have you watched John Weak?
1K
53K
104K
This is the funniest video you’ll see today I promise😂😂
360
25K
47K
This babe wanted to enter the 7 seater mini bus I was in. Realising we were 5 guys inside, she stepped back and said she wasn't going again. I felt that. I understood. We all understood.
458
8K
34K
Update: lol, "school na scam" don start PhD in robotics. Thanks Dad for always pushing me to be the best, I’ll make you proud for sure. Glory be to God.
Joel 2:25🫶🏾
I just bought shirt to sign out as an undergraduate and my dad is already sending Master’s study abroad links to me on WhatsApp. Do you want me to die, sir?😩
80
520
2K
185
719
6K
What happens when you combine the riches of Elon Musk and Bill Gates?
The money ElonGates.
133
1K
4K
E get where you’ll follow from here, you’ll just burst out from computer village
39
942
4K
I just bought shirt to sign out as an undergraduate and my dad is already sending Master’s study abroad links to me on WhatsApp. Do you want me to die, sir?😩
80
520
2K
These white walkers had one job - protect the night king. They were riding horse and carrying ice cream cone for 8 years. Useless bunch🤦🏾♂️. Amusement park frauds.
#Winterfellbattle
#GamefThrones
99
1K
2K
my ex just texted me that the harmattan this morning reminded her of me and my dry jokes.
96
481
2K
Whether it’s Chioma B or Cadijat or Carpaichumarimarichupako, as long as you don’t go to Ghana, everything will be fine.
32
365
2K
@EtuboLion
In all of this, I have only one question. Did you ask the elewa to put fisi/jara for you? Na wetin go pain me pass be that.
81
89
2K
from the admission, to the funding, to the visa approval, to the visions of open doors. My Father never left nor forsook me. What I waited for came to pass. I continue to roll, rolln’t I?
Need that good news that will make me roll on the floor for like 30 mins 🤲🏾
5
52
87
57
201
2K
Everybody is talking about Dany.
Not a word about your WCW who traveled from Winterfell to King’s Landing to play Virtual Reality Temple Run. Smh🤦🏾♂️
#GamefThrones
32
651
2K
...to be careful. Men too. There are perverts, kidnappers, ritualists, robbers, and evil-doers out there, and you can't be too cautious. The only other thing I can add is that everybody should be prayerful, watchful, and if you can, invest in pepper spray or self-defense classes.
7
209
2K
Asides from kidnapping, rape, robbery stories, I remember my best friend complained to me about her experience one Monday morning. She got into a mini-bus around 7:30am in Lekki on her way to work, and she came down at her destination to find semen on her arm. Unknown to her...
16
257
2K
...the guy that sat beside her had been jerking off in the bus, and she was just plugged in her earpiece and minding her business until she came down. Imagine dressing up for work and ending up with a stranger's semen on your arm. The world is becoming too crazy and women need...
9
214
2K
Itachi, Madara, Uchihas, Hashirama, Sasuke, Minato all over the streets of Twitter today. I didn’t know there were so many Naruto/ Anime lovers on here.
RT this tweet if you’re one and let’s follow one another so we can use argument to kill ourselves.
90
608
1K
I ran a cartel that smuggled in Peak Choco, Parle-G, Garri, loaves of bread, and other provision items. My title was Mission Lord, and my sicarios were called Kingdomites (named after our trading headquarters “Kingdom” where all the onions used in the school kitchen were stored).
79
568
1K
@lifemademe
I make sure my face is visible and I make some noise to let the person know someone is approaching.
I've been doing that ever since I ran past a lady and it felt like she was going to have a heart attack.
11
35
1K
Hazard and Marcelo doing a double Bakayoko skill move. You don’t see this everyday.😳
56
387
1K
Peter Drury: He slices the defence open with such precise technique, a perfect delivery giving birth to a fine finish. There you have it, Dr. Marcus Rashford.
21
212
1K
I may not be able to reply to a lot of the comments. But it's not a nice thing that so many people can relate to my last thread. If someone would fix a space that'd be lovely. Seems a lot of people have stuff to say.
2
95
1K
Because my penis is inside you at the moment does not mean you should be asking "do you love me?"
My beautiful wife and kids are waiting for me at home, so let me cum my cum in peace and be going.
61
289
910
I just want to kiss the LOML underwater.
But first I have to learn to swim, then I have to find the LOML.
30
230
928
Genotype AA
Blood Group O+
But all the AA’s that supposed to be in your school results are in your genotype.
We’re not compatible😂. I can’t be giving birth to children that don’t know book because of you.
72
212
860
If something doesn’t kill a man, he is still a boy
133
362
786
If you were a character in La Casa de Papel (a.k.a Money Heist), what character would you be?
A) Rio
B) Berlin
C) Tokyo
D) Nairobi
P.S- Nairobi is not dead I’m hearing
#MoneyHeist4
A Thread
250
120
780
when Lagos SARS remove your cap during a search and find dreadlocks on your head
26
215
746
Nothing to see here, just a common picture of my brother heading to my parent’s room immediately I switch the channel from Nickelodeon to Super Sport
21
203
743
All of you talking about Odunlade and no one can tell me the title of this movie?
71
223
684
For everyone asking for the full video, check out Corridor on YouTube , and here on twitter
@CorridorDigital
. They make awesome videos.
7
169
766
Did Man Utd stunt Ashley Young’s hair growth?
Is it a pandemic effect?
Is Mbah also pretending?
So many questions😩
28
137
639
when you’re broke and the only ATM that dispenses 500NGN in your area is showing: Error, invalid card please visit or contact your financial institution.
10
141
511
This is the part where you determine whether she’ll orgasm or not, and most of you rush through it or skip it entirely.
17
113
497
when the feminist is too proud to compliment your tight game, but her pussy letting you know the truth
12
130
492
People are finding love on Twitter, and I’m here cracking jokes that nobody is retweeting.😂 This life is not easy o.😩
11
249
538
When a male child is born into a Yoruba family, his mother rubs pepper and sugar on her nipples before breastfeeding for the first three month. This pleases the demon god of flirting so he grants the power of sweet tongue and hot lies to be activated on the child’s 18th birthday.
44
213
537
me and my friends in the university watching our childhood dreams die
10
100
484
when God checks twitter and sees that Sodom and Gomorrah is trending because two different groups of sinners are trying to form self righteous
12
124
454
When you see Nigerians disrespect Angelique Kidjo because Burna Boy didn’t win a Grammy award.
Oluwa wetin dey Wombo Lomboate?
24
126
474
This decade I hope to
👉🏾 be independent
👉🏾 bag more degrees and certificates
👉🏾 invest big and secure multiple sources of income
👉🏾 move to my original country 😂🤡
👉🏾 write journal(s)
👉🏾 renounce membership beardless gang 😝
👉🏾 get married😖
👉🏾 code like crazy
#DecadeChallenge
21
96
403
Nobody:
Nobody at all:
Random tweep:
The face The account
20
142
415
I’m home. Let’s begin
23
194
437
Okay, but can he cram 4months of quantum mechanics word-for-word formula-for-formula overnight, and give it all back on a cold harmattan morning in ODLT2 ?
A chimpanzee demonstrating incredible
memorization skills
800
7K
66K
42
121
458
Everyone in Spartacus and Vikings is strong o, but have you seen someone fight wielding a Fuca before? E dey bloody gan o😂
19
77
367
Liverpool fans pretending to be happy, when in truth they are Sarr’d.
11
105
403
I see a lot of comparison between these two. People say Tariq Lamptey has been better than Reece James, and Chelsea made a mistake selling him.
But is that really true? Let’s walk through their premier league stats this season.
{A
#CFC
Thread. Kindly RT}
20
87
399
I’m the only student in Nigerian history that failed to learn how to play this thing.
88
99
369
Isn’t it funny how you need many people to sign a petit ion, even though it carries just a small charge?
13
102
331
So you’re telling me we won’t see De Bruyne and Pep’s Manchester City in the Champions League until 2022. Banned by UEFA for two years? Two? 😂
13
58
331
Ronaldo with the first hattrick this decade. Hopefully we’re going to be seeing more of those🔥🔥
1
51
314
drafting your next Buhari/WW3 joke and the first nuke drops close to your location in Nigeria.
15
75
308
Does the Iye in Ebiye mean things?
Cause E.B. Things.
18
55
332
Abuja Professor: We can replicate Money Heist. We just need to stick to the plan.
SARS:
12
96
306
Is this not the same girl that sang Joromi that year?🤨
22
148
306
All that’s left is show dem camp music and this becomes picture perfect
15
87
302
Lecturer: Close the door, off the light, I’ll kiss you for one minute.
Unilag Girls:
#OAUvsUNILAG
15
69
269
*Enters bank app to buy 2500NGN airtime*
BA: How much airtime would you like to purchase?
Me: 250000. Enter.
Still me:
12
99
270
*phone rings*
Crush: I broke up with my boyfriend, can you come spend the night with me?
Me: *warm up,baff up,kit up*
*phone rings*
Crush: Sorry I have to cancel. He came to apologise and he was sounding so sweet I took him back
Me: That’s great. I’m happy for you
Inner me:
6
89
278
Which one gave you more problem as a student,
Mathematics or Physics?
Don’t lie in the comment section o. All of us no gather know book😂😂
136
39
270
You can enter one of these “town gboro” buses from anywhere on campus to heaven for less than 50NGN
#OnlyInOAU
#OnlyInMyUni
12
54
268
WhatsApp crashed
Instagram crashed
Facebook messenger crashed
Twitter:
4
66
287
Good to know you can be thirsty for something other than clout
46
87
244
It was in my first year in the university. We had so much chemistry, and it went on and on until one day she called me that I forgot to mark attendance before I left the lab but she could do it for me. I said yes, and we practically dated each other until we finished the course.
22
87
232
Me: I’m dropping out of school because I’m tired.
Dad: You’re very stupid. Funke, see the rubbish your son is saying.
Mum: Tobi, what are you saying? Do you want to end up on the street like a common thug?
Me remembering MC Oluomo is chilling with the Gorvernor of Georgia:
17
88
253
Joe knew his father Kent never loved him. One day he overheard Kent say "I’m not paying school fees for that devilish child of yours". Joe found Kent’s gun and decided to take his own life but he stopped when he heard his mother’s voice, "Don’t do it! You’re an Angelique Kidjo"
18
76
215
Aspire to Maguire your desire... only then can you maintain your position.
17
93
219
The story of everything in between those two tweets… a testimony!
11
45
259
Why are these balloons not practicing social distancing?
Thank God for life.☺️
69
35
232
Teni, this you?
14
96
237
Don’t call anyone out please.
To hair is human, to forgive is divine.😂
17
74
205
Someone said the night king is a Tottenham fan😂😂. Apply pressure all season and die without winning any trophy.
11
124
230
1000 ways to die!!!
Dad & Mum: try to keep your virginity until marriage
Me: If you kept your own virginity before marriage, will we be having this conversation?
1000 ways to die!!!
Dad : You are so dull is Kidee not your mate?
Me : You are broke too, Is Dangote not your mate ni ? 😏
9
32
79
15
51
221
when you intentionally turn up two hours late but you don’t find your homeboys parked outside cause you’re still the first to show.
4
71
217
I’m a computer PRogrammer/Android developer. I’m an online marketer and brand PR. I’m also a Public Relations Personnel.
If it starts with PR, I’m the man for thé job.
RT and reply with your hustle/side hustle, let’s show ourselves to potential employers.
#WeNeedJob
23
111
214
Someone explain why this fucking pussy looks like that
24
126
225
So I applied for two scholarship recently. I got the first one, and although I passed the requirements for the second I got "sorry, we’re unable to offer you grant as you’ve been listed by a similar foundation". It’s annoying because they took my application for ‘granted’.
8
60
194