Akash Bhat
@kjb_ak
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Following
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I read, chase dosa, write fiction, and write about marketing for B2B SaaS.
Bengaluru, India
Joined July 2011
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I’m eavesdropping on four men in third wave Koramangala. They’re talking plans for a new dating app.
They’re sure that their new features will solve urban India’s dating problems.
But they don’t get it. Dating apps aren’t broken. Its the people. It’s us. We’re broken :/
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Cute girl with cute glasses and Pikachu backpack in line behind me. We’re boarding a flight together.
Felt compelled to speak to her. My mind threw several great openers at me.
I went with “Are you going to Bangalore too?”
How’s your Saturday going?
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Only in Kerala.
Spotted somewhere in the cozy lanes of Fort Kochi.
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Dear brands, please stop messaging us on WhatsApp.
It’s more enraging than engaging.
Sincerely,
Everyone
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If you have Slack at work, then please thank your God.
If you’re atheist, thank your CEO.
Hold their hand& thank them sincerely. Let them know you’re grateful.
Because you don’t want them to ever move to move to msft Teams. Trust me when I say you never want to go there.
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TIL that Mario Puzo, the author of the Godfather books who’d also adapted them to film, had no idea what he was doing as he’d never written a screenplay before.
After winning 2 Oscars, he bought a book on screenwriting to learn how. The first chapter said “Study Godfather I”.
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My female friend totally nailed my male friend's Bumble bio makeover.
They teamed up and started swiping. He swiped right on three profiles, and she was like, "See, I got you amazing matches!" 😄
Turns out, she thought every right swipe meant an instant match! 🤣🤣
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I delete Instagram once a week, every week.
I open the app, knowing that it will steal from me countless hours.
I install, waste, suffer, uninstall, abstain, and before I know it, the app is back on my phone. Stealing my hours & my youth.
But there is a better way
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2 companies in Bengaluru announced lay offs this week.
If you’re looking to hire senior product marketers, senior content marketers, and BDRs please DM me.
I’ve got some stellar CVs for you.
Please RT if you can.
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Blinkit now sends books over in 9 mins 😮
Might actually make them some money.
Books are a high-margin category that sees plenty of impulse buying.
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@chappan_kilo
@sahilk
Very important question.
Some say maleshwaram. I say Koramangala. Few say Toit.
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I get annoyed every time I see long lines outside Rameshwaram Cafe on 12th main.
So I wrote a blog post with 5 alternatives that don't require you to wait in line for a good fuckin idli (or dosa)!
Here you go:
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I see thay layoffs are being announced across town. Very sad and scary.
We at Hubbler are hiring at the moment. If you know of any good content marketers or content writers looking for a job, please do connect me to them.
My DMs are open
#COVID2019india
#Bengaluru
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@hermixgallery
They will just get upset and hate me.
Decided to let them be. They’ll realise it themselves in a week or a year based on how smart they are.
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I remember how I once showed a bus conductor my Facebook account as ID proof and almost got thrown off a KSRTC bus.
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Enjoyed some amaze dosa in Indiranagar today.
Mulbagal dosa, which traces its origin to Mulabagilu, a town from near Kolar, offers a super crisp exterior and a fluffy inside. Delicious combination.
I give it 10/10. Head over to Imli Cafe and yet one today.
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At a restaurant last night.
Cat just walked up and sat there like he owned her.
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Sense is looking for a Visual Designer to join our team.
Folks with 2 years of experience and strong graphic design skills can apply.
We're funded by Soft Bank and have a solid product with good revenue. You'll get to work with incredibly talented folks from India & the US.
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What is the difference between product marketing and content marketing?
Product marketers know the product.
Content marketers know the product AND how to write.
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More ways to reduce the number of opens:
1. Turn off notifications for the app
2. Stop giving your insta handle out to matches from Hinge/Bumble
3. Use the web app on your mobile browser — its a less additive experience.
Give yourself fewer reasons to open the app.
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Let's tackle the 'reels addition' in 3 phases.
Phase 1: The open
We're habituated to opening the app when bored.
You can use the 'ScreenZen' app for iOS & Android to help here.
It limits your app opens per day (configurable) and the duration for each session.
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Phase 2: The follow
I keep going back to the app to stay in touch with old friends
& get event updates. You might have your needs — stick to them.
Don't follow meme accounts, & famous people. Their amazing lives will ruin your mental health more than they will inspire you.
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A friend of mine is looking for a creative/communications/content strategy roles.
She has 8 years of work experience - in-house & agency, across tech & non-tech industries.
She's a solid communications generalist & has a kick-ass portfolio. Bangalore based or hybrid.
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So I was forced to buy this today, even though I wasn't feeling like it.
My friend promised me that
@localfermentco
is really good. She was wrong, they're amazing.
This was the best ginger ale I've had in my life. Next, I'm going to try their sandwiches from their website.
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Folks, I’m hiring for my team at Compport.
Senior Content Marketer with at least 2-4 years of experience in B2B SaaS. Fully remote role.
Looking for some driven & passionate with good taste.
Please RT 🙏 Coffee & dosa on me if you refer someone great for the role.
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Got to try over 15 different varieties of mangoes at the Mango & Jackfruit festival at Lal Bagh. It’s in town for a few more days in case you’d like to catch it.
Try to get there before 9am, crowds kick in after that. Don’t forget to ask vendors for paid samples at each stall.
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If you enjoyed this thread
1. Don't follow me
2. Don't bookmark this thread
3. Instead, put my advice into action right away. Good luck!
I delete Instagram once a week, every week.
I open the app, knowing that it will steal from me countless hours.
I install, waste, suffer, uninstall, abstain, and before I know it, the app is back on my phone. Stealing my hours & my youth.
But there is a better way
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Many of the smartest, kindest and most beautiful people I know don’t plan to have children. And all the people I despise want three. I keep wondering what the future will look like.
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I wrote this thread because I'm tired of the vicious cycle of deleting & installing the Instagram app. I think this approach is a more sustainable alternative.
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To every founder and marketer out there that's thinking about using Whatsapp to boost sales or re-engage old users, we have one word for you: "STOP".
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There's a book crawl happening this weekend in Bengaluru. Books and. Brews is hosting. Does anyone know if it's any good? (People who went for it in 2016 and 2107). Trying to choose between two events.
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@soni__ankit
Hangouts are nice. And for proper meetings, you can just use Google Meets or Zoom.
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Hey Twitter. I’ve got some amazing marketers who are looking for their next gig.
1x Sr Content Marketer + Copywriter
2x Senior Brand Managers
1x Growth Lead who also has
community exp (4mil users)
1x Senior UX Writer
2x Sr Performance Marketers
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Using a friend's WhatsApp chat as a notepad or clipboard is the ultimate sign of trust and closeness.
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Phase 3: The habit
It's important to understand why we open the app.
Often because we're bored. Other times because we're stressed.
Replacing Insta with healthier alternatives is vital to ensure long-term recovery.
Here are some alternatives:
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WhatsApp forwards that warn you about scams are a boomer love language.
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Tired after a zoom call? Try 2-min breathing exercise with Prana Breath or Open Breakwork (iOS). Instant mood change!
Bored while waiting in line? Find compelling prose on or your Kindle app.
If you don't set up a healthy alternative, you'll relapse.
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Tip to reach places on time: Start early.
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Ina, Mina and Rica are looking for loving homes in
#bangalore
. My friend is fostering them at the moment
Please RT to help these furballs.
This is an urgent request as my friend is also fostering other animals. DM me if you have any trouble getting through to her.
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Ever wanted to send a message to someone on whatsapp without saving their number?
@chhabraamit12
launched a simple product that lets you do that with a few clicks on your mobile.
It's incredibly simple to use. Try it out?
@BuildBySTL
@nitprashant
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4) City of Djinns by William Dalrymple
Delhi is lucky to get such exemplary treatment from a historian like Dalrymple.
The book reads like a mix of formats: memoir, travelogue, history, and religion with a garnish of mythology.
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It took me over 50 productivity apps to realise that I should just use a notebook.
Easier to take stuff down
Easier to find things
Easier to remember to open it
Devices have too many apps that compete for our attention. Open yr phn to buy milk, you end up wtchng 🐶 vids.
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Looking for a freelance video editor in Bangalore. Need some simple videos made. Any recos?
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Has happened for years. Meat eaters
- Make fun of my paneer
- Praise their meat
- Ask if they can taste my paneer
- Say that it's not bad
- Casually eat 1-2 more pieces each
- In seconds all my paneer is gone
- Often end up wasting their meat dish
Stick to your meat, gaiz!
The most annoying people are non vegetarians who keep taunting vegetarians about what they are missing out, make rude jokes about grass eaters and then proceed to also hog the single veg item served at a party or team lunches.
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PSA: Try to watch Kantara in a theater this week.
It's one of the best films I've seen in 2022 - superb script, characters, visuals, sound & humor.
Many theatres are screening it with Eng subs (& other langs). This one is meant to be enjoyed on the big screen. Don't miss it.
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I love how Indian moms genuinely worry that joining the gym would turn them into the hulk overnight.
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The greatest struggle of our generation is to find OTT content that will satisfy both our tastes and that of our parents for the family movie night.
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I wrote something recently. It’s an excellent guide to getting fired as marketer at a startup.
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@BehereBaba
There might be less marriages.
A new form of relationship might solwly replace it.
More and more people are learning that marriage is not an institution that suits everyone. Some couples hate each other more after 5-10 years of a marriage. Divorces are getting more common.
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Big tech product marketing manager JDs want 15 years of marketing exp.
Bro they didn’t marketing 15 years back. Just MBAs from client side changing the brief at 5:30 PM on Friday evening to torture children on the agency side, resulting in lifelong alcohol abuse issues.
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It's happened.
The coconut oil has frozen.
Summer in Bangalore is officially over.
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Looking for an agency/freelancer in Bangalore that can make great PPTs for sales teams of B2B companies.
Please help!
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PSA: If you’re a filter coffee lover & feel like coffees in cafés aren’t made to your taste, then try the Cortado.
It’s a strong shot of espresso blended with texturised milk to create a rich cup of coffee that has wholesome body.
Lavonne & Blue Tokai do them well.
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They shut down Rameshwaram Cafe?
Finally time to try some of these amazing places in the same area.
Full list in the blog post with specifics on what you should eat at each place. Enjoy!
I get annoyed every time I see long lines outside Rameshwaram Cafe on 12th main.
So I wrote a blog post with 5 alternatives that don't require you to wait in line for a good fuckin idli (or dosa)!
Here you go:
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Got the Fitbit Inspire 2.
10 day battery life.
Excellent sleep tracking.
Excellent fitness and Heart Rate tracking. Comes with 1yr if Fitbit premium free.
Love the mobile app - data rich. Love how light and seamless the band is. Can wear it all day. Highly recommend it.
Looking for a fitness band (not watch) under 8000.
Needs to have
- At least 5+ day battery life
- Good step tracker
- Decent Heart Rate Tracker
- Decent sleep tracking
Any recos?
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@thesakshishukla
Clash royale. Fast paced. Clever. Requires quick thinking and strategy. Each round is 2 mins long. Loads of variety in how you can play to develop your own style. Good graphics. Very engaging. Excellent game if you’re looking to lose your job and end up on the streets.
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Superman = my 1800 cal diet.
Kryptonite = my mother’s love and the delicious Gole Bajji that it produces.
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Id like to buy roller skates / blades.
I know that decathlon in bangalore sells them.
Is there a better alternative?
Please suggest, folks.
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Butter Podi Thatte Idli. Jayanagar. Namma Bramhins Idli.
Surper soft. Best I've had till date :)
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Please try to catch 'Aachar & Co' in theaters if you can.
The movie has been shot beautifully and offers a glimpse into a time that is so different from our own.
And yes, PVR in Forum Mall in Koramangla has English subs. Most theaters do.
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Looking for a job in growth or marketing?
@SingalAashray
has built something amazing for your next
#job
search.
Get high-growth, hidden jobs from 100+ active newsletters. Check it out!
#growthjobs
#marketingjobs
#jobsindia
#JobSearch
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This is real.
I’ve got a whitefield face too.
Last week, I was at Bob's JP Nagar and someone asked for my number. Told them I live in Whitefield and I saw them weigh the pros and cons on their face 🤣🤣🤣
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It’s such a terrible experience 😢
Every day, at least one person on my timeline cries about how WhatsApp is unusable on iOS.
sad guys sad
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More companies should do this. Fun conversation with
@anisha_tiwary_
👋 Hey
@anisha_tiwary_
, just found out you’ve done media studies, publishing, and community building on your journey to becoming a product manager at Plum.
Tell us more. 🤯
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The act of ordering shots over the years.
2019: “Waiter, shots for the table.” Shots arrive almost immediately .
2022: Tries to place order via no-contact menu on phone. Squad grows impatient. App crashes. Squad realises they’ve been drinking too much. Everyone goes home.
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Try the steamed version (not fried) with a slice of butter on the side if you ever can. Amaze.
What’s the best pathrode you’ve had in Bangalore people?
Pathrode - A traditional Mangalorean Masterpiece made with colocasia leaves and spiced batter. 😋
📷 IG: Cookilicious
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Here's how to fix it: Give content marketers these 3 things
- Fun projects after every boring one (to keep their creative child alive)
- Creative control over topics for webinars, ebooks & other major content projects
- More money, for they are the turkey at your thanksgiving
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I feel your pain
@diamondbluee
My fight against these pangs of hunger has always gone in vain?
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Remember Ina, Mina and Rica? The 3 cats?
Your retweets helped one of them find a home. Thank you, folks!
Now let’s help the other two. Please RT and pass it on to your friends.
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Yes. I’ve learned my lesson. I carry many IDs now, one original and two duplicates. Such a good boy.
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Are there any tennis courts that I can book around HSR or Koramangala?
Brother and I want to play.
Please help, Bangalore Twitter.
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Attention, Filter Coffee lovers! Meet
@ClassicCoffees
. Its easily one of the top 3 coffees that I've tried to date. Available on
@bigbasket_com
.
What does it taste like? It's strong, well bodied and has a delicious and distinct taste. Go try!
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