Kiri Pr'chard-McLean
@kiripritchardmc
Followers
45,903
Following
1,796
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1,559
Statuses
29,864
🏴 The brains behind @geinsfamilygift , 1/5 of @tarotcomedy & 1/2 of @killnofillpod . Host of @suspiciouslycc and @covid_comedy ON TOUR 🦚
Manchester/ Ynys Môn
Joined February 2009
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Had a huge row with a racist on the bus. She told a girl to “go back to her own country”. I went batshit&she told me I needed to educate myself. Told her I have 2 degrees,she went quiet. She will never know I didn’t finish one&the other is in Contemporary Theatre so doesn’t count
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Don’t let 2020 hoodwink you into thinking NYE has ever been good.
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I know she’s one of the most famous and celebrated women in the world but I think Dolly Parton is still massively underrated.
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If you really want to
#CancelTheLockdown
because you’re worried about people’s mental health why don’t you take
@zerosuicide_org
‘s free training? You’ve got the time now. Or is it not actually about that?
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The last 6 houses that have come up for sale in my tiny village on Ynys Môn are now second/holiday homes. Lots of people retire here too, this means the village school - just like the village shop before it- is almost certainly going to go. 🧵 1/5
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Comedians being transphobic contribute towards a culture of fear that makes trans people incredible marginalised & unsafe. I hate it when women’s safety is used as a straw man for these attacks cos I know of far more male comics who’ve assaulted women than trans people who have.
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If tit sweat was a currency I’d be Bezos right now.
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Love the Llandudno goats trying to convince someone to go in and get fags for them.
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Can I just recommend joining a local rugby team? You’ll meet lovely, fun, supportive folk. It’s a sport where every body type has a chance to shine and the nights out are wild. I had never played it before last summer and now I love training rain or shine.
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Thanks for all your lush tweets about HIGNFY -earrings by
@tattydevine
. Lads slagging my laugh off- that’s what a woman sounds like when she’s having fun, soz you’re not more used to it. Changed my twitter settings, so keep yelling into the ether & I’ll keep laughing on tv.
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Has everyone had a dog shit week mentally? I hope so because it makes me feel less alone but also I hate the idea of my enemies being happier than me.
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Got a joiner in the house today who's part of a male voice choir. He's got a Christmas playlist on and he's singing along to it. It's a free carol service and I'm nearly in tears at my laptop it's so lovely.
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In case you’re foolish enough not to follow me on Instagram here is me winning Halloween with my Incel costume. My t shirt says “Debate me, female”.
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In a Freudian slip I referred to my dressing gown as my “depressing gown” which tells you everything you need to know about my life.
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Love all the lads showing concern for women while laying it out like a dating profile. “I’m 6ft &well built. I understand why a woman on her own might feel intimidated even though I’m well dressed & smell nice. How is she supposed to know I read and my sister is my best friend?”
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Ah, the burning indignity of chasing payment for a job you did six months ago. Begging for money that’s rightfully yours from someone on a salary who can’t understand the urgency. Good to see this dance never goes away.
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I’m not saying it’s obvious a man runs this charity shop, but I just found a jade facial roller in a box of cutlery.
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Paid my student loan back this year which is obviously part of the agreement but also as someone who did an arts degree very much not part of the non verbal agreement. Anyway, Enjoy the money, I hope it makes you happy. Dear lord, what a sad little life, Salford.
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I love seeing what bands are playing at festivals but if I’m honest I’d rather they released a list of their food stands.
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When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life. When a woman is tired of London she’s tired of near constant low level sexual harassment on public transport.
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Can’t believe I’m 35 and haven’t improvised an emergency tracheotomy with a biro yet.
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If you love Wales for holidays, you surely get why we love living here & so many of us want to have families here. Many of us want our families to be raised speaking Welsh. All this is becoming less & less likely. We’re not anti tourism, or anti English, we’re pro community.
4/5
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Got a busy day of buying all the bits I hinted at that weren’t picked up on.
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I would like to start a petition to globally standardise Mother and Father’s Day so I don’t shit myself seeing a post from Australia or America.
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Nothing makes me want to quit comedy more than a man I don’t know messaging me to tell me to “keep at it”.
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Fuck me, making people do stand up to a room full of blow up dolls and 4 audience members is brutal. There’s challenges in the Saw franchise that are kinder than that.
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A lot of you pretending to care about Wales and Periods atm. Back off, that's my brand.
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Phone was lighting up, assumed one of my parents had died. Nope Peter Sutcliffe.
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I watched Hocus Pocus for the first time last night. What a film! All the good parts are for women, joyous.
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If your tights don’t start under your bra I don’t know wear you wear them tbh.
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Hello comedians who are lads who care about our industry. Next time you’re on a bill with no chicks and it’s all white and straight, it would be nice to think you’d ask the club or promoter why. Be lush to think you had our backs when it comes to representation.
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I have never seen a small Italian restaurant or a fortune teller that hasn’t had a picture of them with Frank Bruno hanging inside.
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As money is rapidly becoming worthless and crypto is for boys who are mad and boring can we start a new currency? Let’s use something tangible and accessible and bountiful to all. My suggestion: empty GU ramekins.
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Madonna looks amazing. Her bedroom however, full B&M.
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Things I wish my school had run safety campaigns on:
Home dying your hair.
Wax strips.
Men who call themselves feminists.
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Cocktail bars with a secret fake entrance are the worst. It’s bad enough paying 11 quid for a G&T without adding to the indignity by climbing through a washing machine first.
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You know when people get GCSE results & lots of folk give lovely advice about how they felt, how they did and what they do now? Can we do the same with the fringe? All the newer acts I know (and most the established ones) are feeling so much pressure, especially financially.
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I gave blood for the first time ever today and they let me hold the warm, full, bag and I felt so proud. I will now be starting all sentences with “speaking as a Mother…”
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Anyone else feel more politically represented by Ben and Jerry’s than the main political parties?
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The industry can meaningfully help class representation in comedy by PAYING ON TIME. If you're not underwritten by familial wealth cash flow is always an issue, pay people on time so they can live. Doesn't feel like a huge ask?
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Last night as I was saying bye to my audience a woman came up and said “what is felching? No one will tell me” and another woman swept in and said “this is my Mother please don’t tell her”.
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Wooo! I got a new job!
📢
@kiripritchardmc
will be the new presenter of
@BBCWales
' TV Flashbacks as Tudur Owen passes the baton in 2022 📺
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So excited to announce that I’ll be presenting a show on
@BBCRadioWales
every Sunday from the 10th next year. I’ll be on 1-3pm so you can listen to while you peel your spuds for your roasties.
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Here’s the happy little face & heavy cat of a gal who’s part of an online pub that’s just raised £150, 701 for
@TrussellTrust
. Thanks to our incredible audience, kind hearted comedians, super talented musicians and to
@small_isle
and
@jakeisdigital
who make
@covid_comedy
happen
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People who plan “festival outfits” are the same people who think having a “birthday week” is normal.
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My partner’s Dad emailed to ask if I was free on a certain date because his squash club wants an “inexpensive comedian” and he thought of me.
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This is vile.
This Lindsay Lohan interview on David Letterman in 2013 is horrifying to watch now.
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Another clip where I spend much of it on the verve of tears. The Welsh language is such an emotive thing for me so please be kind when you watch the show tomorrow!
"If you feel Welsh, you're Welsh!" 🏴
@kiripritchardmc
🏴 Iaith ar Daith
📆 Nos Sul | Sunday
🕗 8.00pm
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Amazing when people make the case for humanising immigrants by saying “we need them! They look after our children, serve our food and they prop up the NHS”. They shouldn’t have to be useful to you to deserve your respect and compassion guys!
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This is depressing common now and my fear is, it’s done. You can’t roll back the time on this stuff. Reform and regulation is moving at a glacial pace and when anyone speaks up the welsh people are painted as xenophobes or ungrateful. 3/5
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Who run the world?
Sarah Keyworth, Suzi Ruffell, Kiri Pritchard-McLean, Lazy Susan, Katherine Ryan and Rachel Parris are amongst the winners at the Chortle Awards 2019. Full results:
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Behind every great woman is a band of fat that her bra digs into.
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Absolutely blown away I get to write for this theatre and this actor, dream job stuff this!
'I just want to be happy and loved, I know I sound like a fridge magnet but it’s true'
Putting A Face On
Written & directed by
@kiripritchardmc
Performed by Susan Wokoma
Premiering at 10am GMT on Wed 08 Mar
#OneVoice
#IWD2021
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This is how we get all our news in the countryside. 🏴
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So much love for my outfit on tonight’s
@richardosman
House of Games. It’s a custom outfit from Donald Stanley (insta) female owed, small business who make everything to order and are fully size inclusive.
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My partner had to shave his beard for an acting thing. He didn’t want to because he said I would fall out of love with him! He shaved it and it turns out he was bang on the money. Hard way for us both to find out I can’t love his actual face.
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Shout out to all the people having their weight commented on by relatives. My fav from my Dad “Some people just don’t care what they look like I suppose”.
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Every year I turn down a gig and then realise the “booking” in my diary is actually The Battle of the Boyne.
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This article is a good example of what happens 5/5
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Sometimes I don't think we've moved forward much as a society and then I remember as a kid that if one bulb went on the Christmas lights NONE OF THEM WORKED and I realise we ARE in the future.
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Solidarity with everyone striking today and especially my brothers, both teachers. I know they’ve agonised about this and wouldn’t be away from their classes if they felt there were another option.
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You can’t fat shame me because to qualify I would need to think there was something to be ashamed of. You can’t great tits shame me or lovely vagina shame me either.
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HOLY SHIT, I AM ON HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU TONIGHT!
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Why have I been up since 5? Am I going to the airport? Nope! My tour goes on sale at 10 and I’m shitting myself no one will come!
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If I ever present the News at Ten (throw it on the bucket list, you never know) I will insist on doing so in my sequin welsh flag leotard complete with cape. To show solidarity with
@huwbbc
and any excuse tbh.
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I always hear people using anti trans arguments to nebulously defend against men exploiting spaces, like toilets. What isn't nebulous is the amount of women and nb people I know who aren't femme being questioned on their genitalia in toilets by self appointed genital prefects.
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Love this look, like she’s planned a sexy night in but remembered it’s bin day half way through so whacked these on to put her wheelie out.
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Got a lot of respect for the women on the charity shop I bought a top from telling me “this shirt is a lovely colour, I thought about buying it but it would be far too big for me”.
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Very exciting news for me! I’m going to be hosting Newsjack!
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I will always wear my mask on public transport as I found out today it’s perfect for hiding my preference for open mouthed sleeping.
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No greater rage than buying a train ticket and not having it checked.
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According to her latest mailout the Tory MP for Môn is going to be on the “children’s TV Show”
@rowndarownd
. Interesting choice for
@s4c
that. When I filmed for them at the start of this year I was wearing a badge with “NHS” on & they made me take it off. Odd priorities.
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Absolutely love Gen Z going after us millennials for having side partings. YOU’D HIDE AS MUCH OF YOUR FACE AS YOU COULD IF YOU’D LIVED THROUGH OUR EYEBROW TRENDS.
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I’m holding back tears of joy or laughter for most of this.
Hwyl, sbri a chwerthin wrth i Kiri Pritchard-McLean ddysgu Cymraeg! 🏴
@kiripritchardmc
learning Welsh is the funniest and most heartwarming clip you'll watch all day! 🏴
🏴 Iaith ar Daith
📆 Nos Sul | Sunday
🕗 8.00pm
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If you hate my laugh- I understand totally - don’t watch this.
Kiri Pritchard-McLean sy'n dysgu Cymraeg gyda Maggi Noggi ar Iaith ar Daith, a bydd yna ddigon o chwerthin! 😂
You won't be short of laughter with these two on Sunday night! 😂
🏴 Iaith ar Daith
📆 Nos Sul | Sunday
🕗 8.00pm
@kiripritchardmc
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Feel very honoured to be hosting this.
⭐️
@kiripritchardmc
presents a jam-packed show featuring music, entertainment and stories about how the money donated for
#ChildreninNeed
has benefitted young people and projects across
#Wales
.
BBC Children In Need: The Big Welsh Round-Up
Sunday, 4pm, BBC One Wales
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Already chub rubbed through my leggings by 11am today so really feel like I’m achieving.
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I’ll never not think walking between carriages on the tube is the bravest thing a human can do.
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Fun that gaslighting has moved from a term that finally allowed victims to articulate their experience to a word you can use to display your displeasure that mango flavoured coke existed. Another superb and subtle way of minimising survivors’ experience.
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Yesterday I met the amazing woman who’s going to be doing BSL at my show on the 12th & the 26th. She came up & checked some spellings of welsh words & bought a bumbag! She wants to wear some sequins & big earrings too so I’m kitting her out for the occasion! I can’t wait!
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Just cleared a day to watch the Beyoncé Netflix film.
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In the last fortnight two of my pals living in Gwynedd have been asked to leave their long term rentals as they’re being turned into holiday homes. One had a family with two kids under 4. One has found a house & the one with kids is going to put a caravan on a mate’s field. 2/5
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I love it when people flash your lights to slow down because there's a police speed van. A real us and them vibe I can get onboard with.
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It’s nearly that time of year where a fella explains to you that actually he “cooks sprouts with bacon and they taste great“ with the confidence of the person who invented it.
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I want one of those bath trays that nice ladies put a candle and a mason jar of bath salts on but is clearly meant for a tray of chips and gravy.
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If I find out I’m very ill you can bet I’ll be naming and shaming all the male comedians who are cheating on their wives and Fiancés. Really go down in flames.
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Embarrassingly late to the party but love You’re Dead To Me podcast. If you love history but don’t have the attention span to read books 🙋🏻♀️ I think you’ll really love it too.
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Ok, the news is out in the world and I’m so proud to be a part of this year’s
@comicrelief
. It was an amazing experience and Glesni my dog for Countryfile’s One Red Nose and Their Dog was an absolute babe. She’s less enamoured with me as you can see.
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On the train and truly the hardest part of my day will be fighting off the urge to eat my entire packed lunch before 12.
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I’m on
@frankieboyle
‘s New World Order tonight at 10.15pm. So many funny and interesting chats, I didn’t want it to end.
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You shouldn’t be able to be an MP if you haven’t ever been so skint in your life that at least once you had to steal toilet roll from a pub/university/parents house to take home and use.
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If I ever want to feel like a millionaire I just put the crisps I'm eating into a bowl.
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