N£RD¥ POET♊
@kingkilla_B
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Forever low key, you'll see me when you see me.
Joined October 2010
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
Coming from a country that put stones on their bank notes just so their currency could carry weight.
Malawians are on Twitter ?? 😳I thought Malawi is just a big village with illiterates
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Zambia and Malawi should just hold a referendum to be one country I'm tired of this shit
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If you need kitchen units, wardrobes and furnishing finishes hit me up. Designed and implemented by me.
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👮🏾♀️: “Nde mwati depression ikakuvutani mumasuta chamba kuti chikuikeni pa easy? Chambacho mwayenda nacho?” 🫠
Idk man, have you been to Malawian police stations? That's the last place I'd visit for counselling services.
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@AirtelMalawiPlc
@HpzeePrince
I have been an Airtel customer for over a decade and I think at this juncture I'm leaving. Panya panu.
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What is the greatest Malawian video of all time?
Tryna see something.
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It is the combination of the 2 that leads to utter discord and unfathomable comedy
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I once turned down a bus because it was too full and when the conductor was annoying me I told him
“ndalama ndi zanga ndikwela imene ndikufuna”
Homeboy looked me dead in the eye and said
“Mudakakhala ndi ndalama mudakakwela yanu shupit”
Minibus conductors,
Funny guys komaso Alibe ulemu 😂😂😭
This conductor:Kukwera ya limbe
Me:shakes my head in No
Him: Nde muli ndi diso la thanzitu😭
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I'm sorry to tell you this but history is ugly it's not rainbows and sunshine the youth need to know that their ancestors were raped, beaten, mutilated and murdered by a race that felt it could lable us as property rather than human beings.
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@RawllingsM
ive been to almost every continent on this planet but zim was the only place using bond notes so get a currency first then come back here ok?
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Let women do what they want please.
Awa si malemba anga, ndikungotumiza uthenga, pikene?
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Just one short of 420
419 students from Malawi Institute of Journalism are graduating today at Comesa Hall in Blantyre. 👨🏾🎓👩🏾🎓
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These house agents are moving mad. Why should i give you 40% of the rentals???? Wtf
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My friend is getting married this weekend and they've put me in charge of the drinks and snacks for the after party. This a short summary of how it finna be.
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I crave the most innocent parts of a relationship. Like holding hands, forehead kisses and being able to tell someone how much I adore them…
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I have a joke
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What genre are national anthems??
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Country music 🙂🤣😥
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@dactarrsaab
@engineers_feed
Because they use an extremely complex process to heat up water 😅
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The battle as old as time
Heart vs mind
Logic vs emotion
Medicine vs potions
Back and forth they go
Forever trading blows
Swaying forever more
My heart just wants to soar
My mind reminds me of gravity
And warns we’ll hit the floor
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What is the greatest Malawian video of all time?
Tryna see something.
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I am learning to love the sound of my feet walking away from things not meant for me.
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"Who died and made you king?"
I love British sarcasm.
Calling something stupid by saying “whose brilliant idea was this??”
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Me to my boys: don’t look but that’s the girl I was telling y’all about.
My boys:
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You need to understand the difference between someone who actually values you and someone who just wants access to your energy, feed off your intense emotions, and take advantage of your generosity.
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I’ve learned in order for good things to come your way, you need to believe you deserve them.
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You’re in their DM’s….I’m not because I have extreme social anxiety but I hit that like button often
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Do you ever feel like people want pieces of you but never all of you?
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Many relationships would be a lot healthier if we romanticized honest, open and direct communication instead of idealizing the idea of a partner who's intuitively in tune with your every need. You don't need someone who can read your mind,
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@CurateMalawi
Drove home and pulled up at the gate then proceeded to open the gate walk in then closed and locked the gate, with the car still outside. 🤦🏾♂️ the guard watched me walk to the house and then shouted kodi galimoto igona panja lelo?
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Kenya has discovered its first deposits of the valuable mineral coltan, the country's mining minister has said.
The rare mineral is used to manufacture electric car batteries, mobile phones and other electronic devices.
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Talk shit about my wife I'm not replying on Twitter I'm showing up at your doorstep
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She’s a 10 but she smokes a lot of weed so she’s a 420 and she's a snack so I guess that makes her an edible too.
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We have calcium in our bones, iron in our veins, carbon in our souls, and nitrogen in our brains. 93 percent stardust, with souls made of flames, we are all just stars that have people names.
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Got home wasted and parked the car outside to open the gate myself(instead of hooting kuti guard atsegule) I then proceeded to close the gate behind me while the car was still outside and the guard watched me walk to the house and shouted "Kodi galimoto igona panja lelo?"
This is ok, muzolowera... ever happened to me also; Church is maybe 300 Meters away, took a car kuti tikaweruka I should go buy ndiwo... upon kuweruka, situlukirani khomo lina ndi ma member, kuponda umodzi umodzi mpaka pa Den, I remembered the car nthawi yotulusa ndiwo😂😂😂
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I hope you are learning to be a wonderful best friend to yourself. I hope you stand up for yourself the way you would do for a friend you saw being mistreated. I hope you buy yourself presents and give yourself treats and tell yourself "take care of you" and sit with yourself-
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Floating beds customizable to your specs starting price 350'000
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When she texts “I’m on my way baby” then says “sorry wrong chat”
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A is the only reason why Malawians are still sane
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@georgyporgy111
The Zambian president is doing just fine this man of god we have is not helping
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Asking a tall person to take something from a tall shelf will give them a sense of accomplishment, but asking a short person to take something on the ground because they are nearer will be an insult.
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i never want to contribute to toxic positivity so i want to acknowledge that sometimes things just suck and there isn’t a bright side. the best thing you can do in those times is take care of yourself as much as possible. maybe that means just brushing your teeth,
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Instead of being the first to fix Malawi mxi
Thank you
@LAZARUSCHAKWERA
for being the first to sign the condolence book for Her Majesty The Queen, and for your comforting words.
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I have 3 morning alarms
1. Wake up
2. You better be getting ready
3. If you're reading this it's too late
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depression is like this, sometimes I wake up and my mood has already been decided for me, before I even had the chance to wake up and choose how I want to feel, and so then for the rest of the day I am challenging myself, and that shit, that shit right there is what is exhausting
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That beautiful flower was once a tiny seed. Dropped in dirt. Covered in darkness, and struggling to reach the light. Don't give up. Keep growing.
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I also design and fabricate steel roof trusses and profiles for domestic, commercial and industrial buildings 🙏🏾 HMU
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Happy birthday to me. Time to drink copious amounts of Malawi Gin. 🎊🎉
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@Plakash
Thing is they've had their white excellence and have been the top of the human race for so long that those who were belittled and exploited for their glory & profit are only recently sitting on the same table as them so until we can make claims for slavery and colonialism fuck em
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It sucks that we miss people like that. You think you’ve accepted that someone is out of your life, that you’ve grieved and it’s over, and then bam. One little thing, and you feel like you’ve lost that person all over again.
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The History of the Nyanja and Their Maravi Empire🔥
And their subtribes of the Zimba, Chewa, Mang’anja, Chipeta, Nsenga,Mtumba, Mbo.
The Maravi were led into Nyasaland in the 12th century by Kalonga Mazizi down to Karonga in Nyasaland where he died.
I'll never get over how the land behind the lake used to be ours
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Smh rapist much?
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Nchito yosawoneka like teaching the blind.
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We shall rest when we die
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i think society’s obsession with productivity will be our downfall, it’s unrealistic. you don’t need to be productive every minute of the day. your body needs rest. it’s not natural to stay “grinding” or “hustling”. please don’t feel guilty about taking care of your body.
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that person you’re making sacrifices for may one day turn around and tell you that they didn’t ask you to...and they’re right. That’s why it’s imperative that you always put yourself FIRST.
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