Devidi Cypha 🇬🇧🇲🇼
@CyphaLi265
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Content Creator • Freelance Writer • Aspiring Author • Book Worm • Shortsighted with a clear vision • Did I say I am a graduate? Oh well, that's it!
England, United Kingdom
Joined April 2019
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Pinned Tweet
Degrees and networking are great but there's just something unmatched about the favor of God.
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THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. MY WHOLE HEART FOR MY WHOLE LIFE. I HAVE FOUND THE ONE MY SOUL LOVES 💍❤️.
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Who knew that in 2024, I'd be able to afford to drive my girl from Liverpool to Manchester in a 2022 car simply because she prefers black saloons in Manchester and enjoys shopping at Trafford Shopping Centre? Ndufuna ndinene kuti muziopa Mulungu inu ndipo osamampatsa malire.
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Lake Malawi was discovered by Dr David Livingstone in 1859
People before 1859:
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Twitter didn't give me balloons, in any case, Happy birthday to me!
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Mwiza Mphande ulibe nzeru.
This is how Jomo sees his office car akakhala mu office🙌😅🔥
Apapa ma guys ena oti anavaya gele akamuona Jomo muchi fortuner akumangotsonya.
Moyo sulemekeza ma pepala a school but mene umagwilitsila tchito mutu komaso nthawi Yako.
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Ataomba MSCE 32 points his rents threw a very big party and invited the whole of our class. 6 months later he was at uni in Germany.
How did you find out that your friend is from a rich family?
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Most huns don't even really like flowers; they just want expensive bouquets of flowers so they can take pictures & show off on social media to pressure their fellow friends and imaginary haters. It's all for content. Doubt it? Ask her about five types of flowers, and you'll see.
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Found my laptop very cold. I think I left Windows open
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When I die, I want TNM’s internet connection to lower my casket into the grave so it can let me down one last time.
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Twitter didn't give me balloons, anyways, happy birthday to me 🎊🎂
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME 🎂🎊.
THANK YOU, GOD, FOR EXPLICITLY USING MY LIFE FOR YOUR GLORY.
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So I should be the one taking Ls every time my attention-seeking wife provokes fights on the street? SMH, must be tough.
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Blantyre people will give their cheating partners a thousand chances, but giving me a chance to join in traffic is a problem.
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I can't wait to delay my children at church while talking to everyone after Sunday service. The culture has to be kept alive.
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BACHELOR OF SCIENCE IN BIOTECHNOLOGY.
Gloria in excelsis Deo 🙌🏻💯🎓.
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The rich kids at my primary school would come to class with a DSTV guide to show us what we were missing out on
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Twitter didn't give me balloons but anyways, happy birthday to myself. 🎉
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I am a huge Ronaldo fan; if you don't like him, you probably won't like me, and I don't care.
#Siuuuuu
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Which of these statements would make you happy?
A. President Chakwera has resigned
B. Prices gone back to normal
C. University is now FREE
D. IPhone 15 is now MK500,000 only.
E. Take this K20 million
F. Take this Visa and leave Malawi.
PS: You can only pick one.
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Changed my Netflix password this morning. Got 20 calls in 45 min from 6 people.
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The next billionaires in Malawi will come from agriculture.
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Guess who got the baloons today🎉🎈 Happy birthday to me🥳🥳🎂
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A boyfriend in Malawi has more responsibilities than a father of 4 in America.
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Ask a woman what a good man is and watch her describe a simp.
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An iPhone in other countries is simply a phone. In Malawi, it's an asset, a sign of wealth, a tool to intimidate people, a key to success, eternal life and even a cure for HIV.
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Ati "ambuye ngati ndili mowa muuzeni Namadingo achite nane" why are Facebook comments this wild? 😂 💀💀😭
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I know of 3 married gents who rent one apartment. No one lives in it, they just use the apartment to cheat and split the rent in 3.
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Can't wait to get married and start dressing like this💀
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Maybe Joseph’s brothers threw him into the pit because of that coat of many colors because they thought he was supporting LGBTQ.
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Me: I wish I had a new phone
Some random guy on YouTube:
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As a guy, it's important to have this look when your girl is introducing you to another guy.
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Liverpool dedicated this win to Cristiano Ronaldo, who was blamed for all of Man Utd's problems.
#CR7
𓃵
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Unemployed niggaz be like “the vaccine doesn't work” bro, neither do you.
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How much will be added to your account to make it 1 Million?
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People post RIP on their status, then the next clip is a meme, like what the hell? Can't you just wait 24 hours?
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Nobody:
Blantyre people wondering what's wrong with the mesho scandal:
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The last time I was someone's type I was donating blood
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Are you sure there's nothing wrong with this gender?
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Niggas out here wearing wrist watches that don't work cause drip is timeless
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We decided to take 5 minutes to fear women especially Blantyre ones.
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But the support we receive from our neighbors is unmatched 🔥🔥🔥💯🙌🏼
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WCW goes to all girls with big foreheads. You guys are elite
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“Akutitu mkazi wanu wamenyana ndi mkazi mzake kulimbirana mamuna wina uku”
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Repeat after me:
"This year, I will do something that my future self will be proud of."
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If this appears on your timeline I hope you get that thing you have been working hard for
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Can someone break down what makes someone an "elite" Twitter Malawi user? Like, what are the criteria for joining this exclusive club?
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I asked her for her number and she replied “Yatha, I just gave it to someone else just now”
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The pain of being asked for a favor at 8:00am now you have to be offline the whole day.
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MY STORY WILL FOREVER INVOLVE HIS GLORY. I CAN'T EVEN TELL IT IN A WAY THAT MAKES ME LOOK LIKE THE HERO. IT'S ALL BEEN GOD. ♥️💯🙏🏻🎓
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Instead of worrying if your girl is cheating, worry about your lack of options.
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You are not reading this by accident. This is your confirmation. You're going to make it!
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Hats off to Chilima. Kukhala number 3 mclass ya anthu obwereza si masewera 🙌🏻
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This month, don't be afraid of making sacrifices - Kanayo O. Kanayo.
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Fuck a breakup, have you ever met the right person at the wrong time?
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Business? Relationships? School? Jobs? Life in general? Please do it with God. It won’t be easy, but at least you won’t be doing it alone.
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Two roads diverged in the woods and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference “
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Malawian journalists be like:
"I have David here, So David what is your name?"
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Abale ndi alongo, by all means, minimize copying and pasting ChatGPT generate content in your job applications. If you can, paraphrase it before submitting. Recruiters are not as dumb as you think.
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On whatever grounds I'd never in my life envy going to South Africa.
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I’m so glad as a generation we all agreed to stop ironing our clothes.
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Just because your friend has a business doesn't mean they owe you a discount. Support your friend's business fully
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Oraimo should start making phones at this juncture, their airpods and earphones are so good. 💯🔥
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Me: *111*55625 87499 562766#
TNM: Recharge Successful
TNM: Your account was recharged
TNM: Thank you for the recharge
TNM: We appreciate your recharge
TNM: Dial
#123
# to check your balance
TNM: We love you
TNM: Dial *179# for a surprise
TNN: Thank You.
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