K𝕏NG.♤
@kemziii
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☞ Free your mind and everything will follow ⏳
Kingston, Jamaica
Joined May 2010
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If your man made u a ring instead of something costing him a fortune at the store would u still say yes?
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Show of hand all who didn’t officially catch COVID but feel like they may have had it some time or the other and recovered.
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Just a reminder especially to the ladies KEEP YOUR DOORS LOCKED!!! Always!!!
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All these work better than the new one wtf
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But you gotta pass 876 and we know that’s your issue 🇯🇲
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Lets vote... which is better? like for Boiled dumpling RT for Fry dumplings
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Can we just appreciate this plate. Look like a Jesus himself fry dem plantains ya
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The Jamaican man convo...
Man A: yow!
Man B: Uptop!
A: Wah gwan!?
B: queng dem!
A: Seet deh!
B: ahh!
A: ahh!
B: bless up me genna!
A: cool nuh man!
Note these men said hello, how is your day going and enjoy the rest of your day. All in positive energy and passion 😂
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This girl just wake me up, tek off mi underpants, have ar way wid me and n gone bathe. Deeven cover me back wid the sheet
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Dem new plastic forks ya nah cut it fam... literally! but I’m all for saving the environment 😌
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Da dumpling ya was raised in a happy home with both parents, NETFLIX, PS4 and super fast WiFi
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Sold my car and forgot to take off the toll tag sticker… a week later and the man bun off the whole a mi toll money🥲
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Imagine me paarking my car good good... gone bout my business and come back and see this 🤯
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Jamaican Parents: a 7 o’clock put the on news
*7:03*
Also Jamaican parents:
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Here’s your reminder that not because you can do the job means the position is right for you.
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When the Ochi residents wake up and realize the Kingston ppl dem gone back home
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The Big Ackee… I mean Apple
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Ion know man. I am either really good at avoiding this virus or had it and didn’t know 🤷🏿♂️
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Let me tell you every Jamaican is the second guy
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This is such an embarrassing process
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Black scandal bag for sale...
Size: M
Bidding starts at $5,000jmd
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When you’re on the work from home video conferencing and the mongrel dem a bark, 2 yeng yeng just ride pass and Keisha next door cus dutty Marvin
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The whole Festival of F*ckry and the KFC Swindler is a whole Netflix series.
Today was a crazy day on this app
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My sister just told me she spent $2,500 to plug her tyre. I’m mad af why dem must take advantage of women re cars. Mi know da man deh skin him teeth when she drive off.
Worst part is she gave him $500 extra cause he did “did a good job”
Worst Worst part is I HAVE THE PLUG KIT!
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Dem fry dumpling ya talk standard English and av a work a wait pon dem dung a pertojam afta UWI
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If mi and di driver eye nuh mek 15 mi nah go infront a nuh truck or bus
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Since 2019...
1 friend got married
3 friends got engaged
2 having babies
As for me... well I’m cheering everyone on like
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Dear
@kfcjamaica
,
Please... how many retweets for you to finally give us a double zinger. That’s what the people really want.
Sincerely,
The People
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Two big boy purchases is the same day… don’t invite me outside unless y’all paying 🥲
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Just give her a certificate of participation
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When a group a hot gyal weh get ready a the same yard walk in a the party
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Unuh seh “slapped with a $10,000” like a me unuh a talk bout.
Dancehall entertainer Popcaan was slapped with a $10,000 fine after pleading guilty to several road traffic violations in the Yallahs Traffic Court in St Thomas on Thursday.
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When I said I’m only gonna spend $3000 and only spend $2750
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NCB will have you thinking someone out there a braff with yuh card and when you check it’s the transaction you did a day ago and the text just a come een
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When a child is terrified on a roller coaster. That’s the caption, I hate to see children in sex related posts
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She dash weh all a mi yard clothes dem. Every day mi ina the house like me a go zimi seh brunch
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1 day???? I locked my keys in my car once in ochi and asked a stranger if he had anything to help. Mans we tried about 6 methods to get the key out over about a 2hr period and still don’t know each other’s name. Just mutual respect and a laugh at the end. Men different that’s it
Girls: “I know she’s my best friend, but I still don’t trust her”
Boys after 1 day of friendship:
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Yo sure this a nuh Blue Hole, Ocho Rios Jamaica
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A love like this, married for 50 years and still look at each other the same way ❤️
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Imagine you deh on Twitter from Jesus was a boy and no matter what you tweet u cya get a forward. But mek u try win likkle rum, yo gone viral
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When he said no weapon formed against you shall prosper... this is what he meant! God said not today boi
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When yo girl seh just leave me alone and you trying to figure out if u should give her space or try harder
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Kartel: di bwoy run like a wounded dog! Bruk usain record....
Jamaicans:
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SKYN on the passenger seat
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MarkX aside, the voxy was just going about it’s day probably doing the right thing and heading home to their family.
RIP Voxy driver
Three people have been killed in a two-vehicle collision in Spring Hill, Trelawny. The vehicles were heading in opposite directions when the crash happened at around 6:45 p.m. The male and female occupants in the Mark X died on the spot. The driver of the Voxy also died.
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This is him seeing his tweet on Prime Time News thinking it was over and everyone slept it off
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Javilani: yo no see a bare gunman deh ya
Police: lock down di place. Tun off everything
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My friend’s girlfriend just call me, she’s buying him Xbox game pass ultimate for the year and wanna know how to do it.
Just a reminder kings, bruk gyal bruk vybz
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Back when yo earphones had short circuit and you find the sweet spot
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Another successful surgical removal and will be added to the soca cup
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Keep cash in your documents for the car.
If pulled over just hand the folder to the officer.
If they take the cash and give you back your documents and let you go, you technically didn’t bribe a cop. The officer stole your money.
I’ve been robbed several time by police 😅
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