Kim Blythe
@kbfilms92
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award winning stand up comedian with big knockers
Scotland
Joined May 2009
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Imagine referencing “the cost of living challenges” while sporting a big bedazzled hat worth billions
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Part 3 of Finding Reform UK Glasgow North candidate Helen Burns 🕵🏼♀️
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Part 2 to my search for
@reformparty_uk
Glasgow North candidate Helen Burns. These are the possibilities to who I think she might actually be.
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HELEN BURNS FINALE 👍🏼
I spoke with Helen and it’s safe to say, this is the end of the road. Thanks to everyone who got involved and please keep holding these clowns accountable
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For context I was coming down to London today for work anyway but I’m happy for the angry wee men to think I specifically came down to do this
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Thoroughly enjoy that I’ve started a manhunt for missing
@reformparty_uk
candidate Helen Burns. The opportunity to make fun of such a daft party has been an honour 🥲
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The Helen Burns patter has been funny but what doesn’t feel as funny is that 1,655 mad bastards voted for her.
At least the wanks lost their deposit.
Glasgow North:
Labour: 14655 (42.2%, +8.1)
SNP: 11116 (32%, -15.6)
Green: 4233 (12.2%, +8.4)
Reform UK: 1655 (4.8%, +4.2)
Conservative: 1366 (3.9%, -4.9)
Lib Dem: 1142 (3.3%, -1.9)
Alba: 572 (1.6%, new)
Labour GAIN from SNP
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An absolute honour to be given a medal at the fat rug munching olympics
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The far right are obsessed with calling me fat and unemployed when I’m very much skinny and employed. The lies just don’t stop 😞
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Right I think I originally got the wrong Helen (there’s too many of them) however the folks at the defunct wedding magazine have been in touch and here she is!
I pure love how Helen left us clues in her voice note.
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I don’t care for the reasoning, I think the people at the counts running with ballot boxes are doing it for attention
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Me and the internet trying to find Helen Burns through her cryptic voice note
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This review of my Fringe show from Ben is so lovely but I am obsessed with the ending and the idea that I give off tall energy
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2000 tickets later, my fringe run is over!
What a 3 weeks it’s been 🥲
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The audacity of Peter to call me, a very petite slim woman, fat 😞
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Well according to your profile you’ve popped out 5 children so maybe if Ireland is so full you should slow down cowboy
Sometimes memes just write themselves 🤭🤭
On June 7th vote myself number 1 in Drogheda Urban and Drogheda Rural and
@hermannkelly
Number 1 in Midlands-North-West.
#Irelandisfull
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@Luiseach
This is me and to answer the burning question, no I have not had a response from Helen 😢 haha
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Here’s a bit about my first time moving to Glasgow.
Tickets to my fringe show on sale now!
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Thank you so much for coming and thank you for this lovely candid photo that was not planned at all x
Saw
@kbfilms92
tonight at Edinburgh Fringe and she was absolutely brilliant! Would highly recommend it if you're looking for some great comedy.
She'll even pose for you at the start to get a good photo.
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@kirstyles
Nope I have yet to find her and she has been no where to be seen along with the majority of Reform candidates in Scotland
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@claire18781
@yeairenenoway
@LewisHamilton
The t shirt that Lewis has on represents marginalised and oppressed groups which unfortunately aren’t what the “all lives matter” mob focus on. Also saying black lives matter isn’t saying all lives don’t matter. Please stop with this silly narrative
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@iris_frs
Iris this is amazing 😭 proving all along that we are all Helen ❤️
Also I’m so sorry this happened haha
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Edinburgh Fringe run starts tomorrow omfg
9pm
31st July - 18th August
Gilded Balloon Patter House
Would love to see you there 🤠
Tickets:
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@OLovekill
@seanbaillie9
@reformparty_uk
This is excellent patter and you best believe I read it in cilla’s accent
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I watched an old video of me hitting a punch bag and referred to myself as Dyke Tyson and honestly a dunno if ma pun game is ever going to get stronger than that
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Just finished The Young Team by
@G_Armstrong21
. Absolutely class. Brought me back to the days of drinking in the street wearing my berghaus jacket. Made me reflect on some things I’ve never really thought about as an adult who grew up in that culture. Recommend it thoroughly!
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Lovely to be mentioned in this article alongside some lgbtq+ legends x
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Mind Ramsay was meant to be the greatest signing scottish footballs ever seen
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Nice to see newly elected MP Nigel Farage concentrating on the issues important to his constituents in Clacton, USA 🇺🇸
"Donald Trump will be delighted that she's the opponent!"
Nigel Farage tells
@NickFerrariLBC
that the Republican Party won't be too worried about the prospect of Kamala Harris running for president, insisting that the Democrats 'won't get rid of a black African woman'.
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@Luiseach
If chappell roan isn’t there to celebrate my fat rug munching win then I honestly don’t want it
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I bought poppy a scarf and she’s went from looking like a disheveled wee homeless man to a successful business woman
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Tickets to my Fringe show on sale now!!
Sold 4 to my mum so far, tickets are flying!!!!
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#SandraWasMurdered
her mugshot is haunting. She's dead in that photo. 2015 and the police are still killing black people in America.
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A love it at work when people ask for my name on the phone and I’m like “Kimberley” and they say “do you have a surname?”
Naw I’m like Madonna or Cher bbe x
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Music video I did for
@Primes_Official
- Nine Lives
Songs a banger. Hoping the video does it justice.
Anyone want to hire an inexperienced self taught film maker? Thanks xox 🎥
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See when companies are deciding what to make as their hold music on the phone do you think they intentionally seek out the most honkin and annoying tunes
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If you want to improve the quality of your life, get teddy bear bedding. I could actually die at how fluffy and comfy my bed is the now I’m nearly pure greeting every night I get into it, honestly it’s fucking luxurious and I love it so much x
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Regardless of whether you agree with the bill or not, this is a massive attack on Scottish democracy. What is the point in us having a Parliament if our decisions can be overruled?? Unreal.
BREAKING: The UK Government is to block legislation passed at Holyrood allowing people to change their legally recognised gender.
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No to be a basic bitch but this dragonfruit drink from Starbucks is one of the best things I’ve had in New York so far get her brought to scotland
@StarbucksUK
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Facebooks hilarious there’s folk on ma page that I’ve been fb friends with for years despite not knowing them at all but the only reason we’re fb pals is because we heavily connected in a smoking area one random night out and now I’m too invested in their life to delete them
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I’ve never seen Stranger Things but it looks like quite a stressful wee life those children live
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You as a white man really don’t get to have a say on the experience of racism in this country.
Disgusting how they’re repeatedly trying to brand Britain a racist country. Most tolerant place in Europe, as all the coverage of their engagement/wedding showed.
#HarryandMeghanNetflix
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I can’t get over getting my PS5 delivered the day and the delivery driver saying “someone’s going to be happy at Christmas”
Aye me ya clown.
Not only do I look like a mother, but I look like a mother who’s got her shit together getting the Christmas presents in November 😔
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On my last day of isolation. Test on the left was this morning and the one on the right is tonight. Mental how quickly it can change but I’m so happy 😭 covid never come near me again gal
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This gal had an operation yesterday and even tho she’s in pain she’s still happy as larry, love her so much 😭
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Thank you so much!!
Saw four shows at
#EdinburghFringe
yesterday,
@kbfilms92
was definitely my favourite. The whole thing was seamless, well done! 👏
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See people who take their issues with a company/business out on the staff directly by abusing them are amongst the worst cunts to walk the earth. Especially when the staff are being polite. Low level staff have fuck all impact on how a business is run STOP BEING A PRICK
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There could be 10 cubicles in a toilet and guaranteed I’ll go into the one where someone’s done a big shite and left a mess. Happens all the time and I’m sick of it
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Next month I’ve got 2 music festivals and 2 gigs and I could greet
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As much as I appreciate you reaching out ewan macleod iPhone (2), I’m sadly going to decline your photo. Thank you tho x
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There’s a lassie in Costa just reading a book drinking a cappuccino and that’s the level of main character i aspire to be. Feel like an extra in the story of her life. Really wish her the best x
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they just filming every major blockbuster in george square now aye
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The Conservatives are a joke. Using culture wars to rally support instead of tackling the very real problems within the NHS. Tories bullying transwoman and masking it behind “woman’s rights” is reminiscent of the thatcher gov attack on gays being masked behind “children’s safety”
"Trans women have no place in women's wards."
Home Secretary Suella Braverman says "biological men should not have treatment in the same wards and in the same safe spaces as biological women".
📺 Sky 501, Virgin 602, Freeview 233 and YouTube
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I’m sick of people equating LGBT+ rights to politics. This isn’t a political issue it’s a human rights issue. Not surprised this is the opinion of a man who disowned his brother Justin, the first openly gay professional football player.
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@paulbIack
This concept has ruined me because I now look at just getting a meal from McDonald’s as a healthier option despite it still being like 1000 calories
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Thanks for the mention!! Lovely stuff ❤️
The
#edfringe
is closing in...
Before all the world's mimes, acrobats and character comics descend on Edinburgh, we've picked out some local legends to add to your lists, inc
@CBThorburn
@kathleenwho_
@mrsamlake
@somelaughpod
@kbfilms92
@BigDavidMcIver
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My first time going to a party in years and I just know within 5 minutes I’m gonna say to someone “long time no see!” And that point I will batter maself
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I’ve got so much to do today but I can’t stop thinking about her
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@SeanBattySTV
hello Sean! One of the customers in my work was out a walk and saw this ice in the River Carron! He’s 92 and never saw anything like this in his life! He wanted me to ask you if you knew what causes the ice to form like this? Thank you!
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Witnessing straight men in a group chat and they absolutely love making jokes about being gay it’s a bit weird luv
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This is the best Celtic team I’ve seen in years and more importantly the most GORGEOUS
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Been in my bed over the last week with covid and even though I’m over the worst of it, it’s criminal how shattered I feel considering I’ve done fuck all
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Absolute legend thank you so much!!
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I’m also no suggesting that covid knew ma isolation period was coming up and decided to fuck off but like how did she know
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Home 2moro. Its been fun but yer auld da needs to get home n see her kids.
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“We get it and we have listened” as if they are shocked that tax cuts for the richest during a cost of living crisis has had massive backlash. It is terrifying how out of touch they are.
Why do lower/middle class vote for them, they don’t hide that they don’t care about you 😴
Prime Minister Liz Truss says "we get it and we have listened" and "the abolition of the 45pc rate had become a distraction from our mission to get Britain moving" – as the Government scraps the plan to cut the 45p top rate of tax
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Woman and children are safe from these groups and any individual that does cause harm, it’s because they’re a terrible person, not because of their sexuality or gender identity. If we ruled by that then straight cis gendered men should be banned from everywhere
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Always tell those closest you love them. Especially those who get accepted for credit cards by building up their credit xxxxxx
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