kai🇵🇸
@kaipilled
Followers
787
Following
25K
Media
416
Statuses
5K
Bottom of the barrel human being, retired reply guy, midwestern emo enthusiast and all-around disappointment.
Joined April 2021
If I get married and my wife dies I’m going to kill myself, tf you think I’m gonna do? Move on?.
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God gave us twitter so we could channel suicidal thoughts and flirt with our mutuals.
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Looking for a gf, she has to be incredibly mean to me. And she has to be a jealous person, I need to be cut off from all my friends if I do something that she doesn’t like.
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Baby girl you have the most mysterious leg bruises I have ever seen.
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Took a bdsm test and it said my soul is pure and my heart is filled with warmth and love for others.
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The most beautiful girl you know is being called mid by a 23 year old white man right now.
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Asking “Who wears the pants?” in a relationship relies on outdated gender roles, instead you should be asking “Who owns the vape?”.
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I don’t watch porn because it supports an industry that degrades women and destroys the minds of young, impressionable men. I just jack off to her soul and energy n shit.
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Do you wanna come over and we sit next to each other really awkwardly for an hour and then you leave.
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You’re in her dm’s and I’ll kill myself if she ever replies to you.
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Giving my girlfriend her antidepressants hidden in peanut butter so she’ll take them.
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Her: You must got the Rilakkuma Condoms if you think we fucking. Me:
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Anybody else ever go to sleep hugging their pillow or is that just a big strong man thing?.
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Who up rn costing themselves valuable relationships by grossly misreading the situation?.
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Hey babe I noticed you liked two posts on twitter 3 minutes before you replied to me, do you have anything to say for yourself?.
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You will never catch me begging for pussy, because I ask politely 37 times.
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She better let me suck her toes because if the dogs aren’t watered the cat doesn’t get fed.
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Woke up to another beautiful morning with my gf (we met on Twitter, she deleted it don't ask for her @) life is good
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Once I get over my crippling anxiety, deep-rooted trust issues, feelings of worthlessness, perennial feelings of guilt and doubt, extensive attachment issues, confidence problems, fear of rejection, self-image problems, unhealthy eating habits, and depression it’s over for y’all.
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Texting her back instantly so I only have to wait 6 hours for her to reply.
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Everyone saying they would move on has never been in love.
If I get married and my wife dies I’m going to kill myself, tf you think I’m gonna do? Move on?.
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You’re in her dms, I’m in her medicine cabinet trying a little bit of everything.
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Waiting for my friend to finish his psychology degree so I can get free therapy.
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A relationship should be 50/50. she tells me what to do and I listen 🫡.
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Oh yeah? We’re mutuals? *thrusts into you* you liked my tweets? *moans in your ear* mmm you retweeted me? Who’s a good little follower? *licks you* I love when you interact with me. Interact with me harder my good little follower 😫.
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It’s only funny when someone I like says the joke, even if it’s the same joke it isn’t funny if I don’t like you.
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Not to be suicidal on the TL, but I think I could fall in love again.
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Sorry I met you 30 seconds ago and want you forever and into every eternity.
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The crush on you to getting to know you to doesn’t like you anymore pipeline is going to make me kill myself.
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Props to everyone who isn’t afraid to delete their tweets if it doesn’t get enough likes.
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I bet you guys don’t even think I’m funny and just like my tweets because you wanna sleep with me.
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@bongoism Spending nye splitting my shoegaze playlist into two smaller, lamer, more niche playlists.
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Even though today is National Girlfriend day I’m gonna keep a positive mindset.
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Of course I have a girlfriend… she just uh, goes to a different side of Twitter, you wouldn’t ever interact with her.
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I’m soooo afraid of women, I really need a girlfriend so I can get exposure therapy.
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Sometimes it takes everything I have to not tweet what is on my mind, it’s for the betterment of everyone.
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I think it would be pretty cool if they invented a kind of happiness that doesn’t turn out to be a horrible lesson in the end.
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They kicked me out of the porn studio for saying “I love you” too many times.
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