Jewish Voice for Peace “Parody”
@jvparody
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we are SO excited to announce our passover challah bake !!!
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We at JVP ALWAYS stand with oppressed groups like the governments of North Korea, Venezuela, China, and Iran.
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We stand by
@IlhanMN
, who has NEVER done anything antisemitic in her life. EACH of her statements are aimed at specific people such as (((Zionists))), (((ppl who aren’t partners in justice))), (((benjamins))), and Israel’s hypnosis of the world.
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A comrade at the Columbia encampment hasn’t eaten in almost an hour. If anyone has food to spare please let us know.
note: must be non-GMO, gluten free, vegan, soy, nondairy milk product with extra bananas.
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The idea that we stood with rapists after October 7 is a heinous lie. Let’s be clear: we also stood with rapists BEFORE October 7. For example, we stood with @/JFREJNYC when they honored child rapist Douglas Powell at their fundraiser.
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if we “aren’t really Jews”, explain THIS: OY! I am kvetching at your bubbie’s new schmutter but it’s got some shmutz on it. LOX BAGEL CREAM CHEESE
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what happened tonight was a genocide of Iranian missiles.
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tips to look more Jewish in front of the cameras? We already do the following: blowing the shofar (year round), lighting the menorah (also year round) wearing a talit, havdallah, and our essential oils teacup mikvah? Pls send ur best recs
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As you know, a core value of Judaism is apologizing for our existence. So on behalf of all Jews, we at JVP are very sorry.
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but we wanted our Munich massacre collection!!!!! 😭😭😭😭
Update: Adidas announces it is “revising” its campaign after global outrage ensued concerning their usage of antisemite Bella Hadid to rep their 1972 Olympic shoe re-launch.
11 Israeli athletes were murdered by Palestinian terrorists during the 1972 Munich Olympics.
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Please meet us for Shabbat this Wednesday at 2 PM where we will be saying Kaddish on the Yahrtzeit of Daddy Stalin in front of the AIPAC office. 👀
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Being accused of antisemitism? Need a Jewish “friend” to vouch for you?
Contact us at 1800-ASS-LICKERS
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pro tip: end Shabbat early by doing havdallah in the middle of the day.
🕯 Our community joining together to protect our Havdalah candle’s light from the storm. We love a metaphor & we love texting voters to vote for
@mayawiley
&
@bradlander
.
#JewsForMaya
#NYCMayor
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A few of our favorite moments from this year:
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Jews 👏 were 👏 never 👏 kicked 👏 out 👏 of 👏 any 👏 countries 👏
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We at JVP emphasize that October 7 was propaganda but also legitimate resistance.
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can’t have antisemitism if there’s no Jews!!!!
AF - To Combat Anti-Semitism, Columbia University Bars Jewish Proffesor, Entry
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Today we stand with the true victims of antisemitism: Dave Chapelle and David Duke.
It is truly poetic that two Davids are going up against the big (((Zionist))) Goliath.
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We are SO excited for “Jesus was a Palestinian” szn 🔥
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Remember what Rosh Hashana is truly about: freeing Palestine.
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I love when
@NetureiKartaUS
protest with us. They are true allies to women, the LGBTQIA+ community, and minorities everywhere 🏳️🌈☮️🕊️👩🏼❤️💋👩🏼👨❤️👨
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We are absolutely devastated.
4 hostages held captive by Hamas terrorists in Gaza have been rescued by the IDF.
Noa Argamani, Shlomi Ziv, Almog Meir, and Andrey Kozlov.
Welcome home 🎗️🇮🇱
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Powerful op-ed by teen JVP Rivka Hirsh for
@TeenVogue
.
“Why I’m Euthanizing My Israeli-Apartheid-Supporting Grandparents”
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this is absolutely despicable. government officials & their families MUST be exempt from consequences.
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A comrade at the Columbia encampment has lost her belongings. If anyone finds a gucci bag with a pair of Prada sunglasses inside please let us know asap.
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JVP always stands with Arab & Muslim Jews 💙
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if you are a Jew and your knees aren’t trembling, you are an Islamophobic racist.
I am a Jew with trembling knees 🇵🇸❤️
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🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
JVP and JVP Action are made up of proud Jews, determined to protect the Jewish soul.
Join us, everyone. We are fighting to protect all of our humanity.
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If you’re Jewish, please consider joining us,
@IfNotNowOrg
, and
@JFREJNYC
for a self-flagellation stand in. As jews, we must repent for slaughtering Jesus - see you at 6pm this evening.
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When it comes to killing civilians, it’s very difficult to know which acts are worthy of our condemnation. We hope this guide is helpful for you all!
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We are SO excited to do fake allyship again this pride month!!! Watch out for the pictures we recycle every year from that one pride event we went to in 2017.
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Praise Jesus 💙
What in tarnation? 😳
An abbreviated blended English/Hebrew prayer at
#Rabbis4Ceasefire
’s public morning service outside the Capitol in Washington, D.C. today.
**Kol Isha**
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this pesach, we plead with
@NPR
to focus on the real victims of the Passover story; pharaoh’s army who tragically drowned in the sea.
Next up: “Passover: why don’t we talk about what happened after the Israelites crossed!” and “Hanukkah : those Maccabees did not follow the Geneva Convention.”
This is all so grotesquely transparent.
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We maintain our position that NOTHING hurts the LGBTQ community more than than Israeli pinkwashing
🚨
#BREAKING
🇶🇦🏳️🌈 |
#Qatar
officially bans Alcohol and
#LGBT
during
#WorldCup2022
. Officials also warn that whoever raises the LGBT rainbow flag at the World Cup could be sentenced to 11 years in prison.
🤦♀️Who's idea was that to let an Islamic country host the World Cup?
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If you would like to learn more about Jewish Supremacy we recommend David Duke’s book, “Jewish Supremacism: My Awakening on the Jewish Question”.
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Nasrallah mentioning lesbians shows how dedicated he is to inclusivity.
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Shiva details to follow
Israel killed these three Palestinian children who were so poor they all were forced to share one bed.
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We want to be very clear -- at JVP, being Jewish means having blood on your hands.
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msg straight from JVP rabbinical council: if you don’t own tefillin, feel free to bring any other kind of strap on you can find.
#itsthethoughtthatcounts
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Preparing for our Yom Kippur luncheon tomorrow!
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Genocide is whatever we feel like it means on any given day
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the lengths people will go to to invalidate
@realrabbilinda
’s truth is fucking despicable. she’s the chief rabbi of Gaza. Always has been & always will be.
In case you missed it, this person is a Zionist pretending to be an anti Zionist so she can get people to RT and like her stuff which is why she keeps saying she’s being shadowbanned and needs people to like and RT
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@RepRashida
@jvplive
Loved spending time with you again 😘🇵🇸 I’ll see you at the Friday evening communal Challah touching.
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Does anyone know why people keep accusing us of being a (((zionist))) organization?? We are very confused. Please let us know what we can do to stop appearing as a (((zionist))) organization. Thank you ❤️🔥👀🇵🇸🧨💪
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ALL he tried to do was stab a 13 year old?!? Release him IMMEDIATELY
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After this we will be planning a trip across SWANA to visit the very well preserved Jewish communities, sites, and property there. We will no doubt be welcomed there with open arms.
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If you’ve been accused of “antisemitism” bc you protested at a synagogue and need a Jewish “friend” to vouch for you, please contact us at 1800-BROWN-NOSERS
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Stunning & brave ❤️🔥
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Now that Israel’s “gay haven of the Middle East” title is falling apart, we can return to its rightful owners: The Islamic Republic of Iran.
They took their sweet time, but this is a big win for BDS. Israel's "gay haven of the Middle East" shtick is falling apart.
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Hundreds 😍😍😍
BREAKING: Hundreds of American Jews and allies from the Midwest have rallied in Chicago to shutdown the Israeli consulate at Ogilvie Station. Our grief is being used to justify genocidal violence against the people of Gaza. We’re ready to stay here as long as it takes!!!
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IHRA is so stupid!! Under IHRA, supporting the PFLP is “antisemitic.” Can you believe it?? Since when is trying to murder Jews antisemitic?? Disgusting!!!
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as antizionists we believe that rape is resistance 😍💪
Question
@mynameisjro
, are you still proud to support JFREJ when they honored child rapist Douglas Powell at their annual fundraiser? JFREJ advertised that childcare would be provided at this event.
I understand you dislike Jared Kushner but a single standard, please!
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BREAKING: IOF EXECUTES PALESTINIAN CHILD WALID EL ABED
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All seven of us 🔥
Jews in Boston are calling on Senator Warren to speak out against the genocidal war on people in Gaza and call for deescalation and ceasefire
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Anyone who touches a child is scum of the earth. JFREJ does not represent Jews on the left, LGBTQ+ Jews, and certainly not Jewish New Yorkers. This is an absolute disgrace. 6/
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this Yom Hashoah, we want to acknowledge the harm caused by the carceral violence that the Zionist entity inflicted upon Adolf Eichmann
#abolishprisons
#restorativejustice
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NAAAUR
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As you can see, our allyship runs deep as we recycle pictures from some march in 2017 year after year. We do a lot for the LGBTQ+ community though!! Like harassing JQY members and condemning israel for banning conversion therapy.
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Save us the crocodile tears. a few months ago, you “liked” a post of Rasmea Odeh, who bomber a supermarket. When I asked you about it, you blocked me.
Now is the time to call out these pathetic organizations that put an expiration date on Jewish blood spilled.
Our shock and grief grow as more gruesome details of crimes against humanity committed by Hamas against Israelis continue to emerge. We are counting our own loved ones among the victims. These crimes are indefensible and unconscionable.
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Blake, please! He promised us that he would be good this time.
WHO THE FUCK DO YOU SUGGEST WE GIVE THE “OCCUPIED GOLAN HEIGHTS” BACK TO? BASHAR AL-ASSAD?!
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Ok I don’t usually do this but serious post time. 1/
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can someone tell
@WOLPalestine
,
@palyouthmvmt
,
@SamidounPP
, and
@NationalSJP
that
@IsraelismFilm
was created by a group of Zionist normalizers who have the audacity to identify as "Israeli.”
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Here at JVP, our script is as follows: apartheid, genocide, settler colonial, intifada, from the river to the sea, white supremacists, colonizer, resistance fighters, pinkwashing, and STORMING
Antizionists are like low skill telemarketers reading from the same script, making sure to use the highlighted words that make zero sense nor have any connection to observed reality, history, or current topic they’re responding to.
It’s the copy pasta of the angry and ignorant.
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We are to Jews what Caitlyn Jenner is to the LGBTQ+ community
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For everyone denying that
@RepBowman
is Jewish, you are wrong. We at JVP fast tracked his conversion overnight. The certificate will be issued in 5-7 business days.
Democrat Rep. Jamaal Bowman: "By me calling for a ceasefire with my colleagues and centering humanity, I am uplifting deeply what it actually means to be Jewish"
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If ur feminism doesn’t include pixelated legs, that’s not feminism.
From Wales to Palestine, Occupation is a crime! 🇵🇸
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BUT WE WORE JEWS FOR JAMAL SHIRTS AND EVERYTHING !! 😭😭
A massive, massive loss for the Corbyn Caucus. A massive, massive win for the Democratic Party.
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.
@elivalley
is right!!! If it’s a Chabad menorah, we give you our blessing to vandalize it.
If you mistake a non Chabad menorah for a Chabad menorah, that’s okay too. Everyone makes mistakes!
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Golda Meir was truly sick and depraved. What kind of prime minister actually responds to a joint invasion of their country?!
A🧵of War Crimes Golda Meir committed that her movie left out:
In 1973,
#Israel
's PM Golda approved direct IDF attacks on "economic targets" (civilian infrastructure) in Egypt & Syria
100s of bombs were dropped on mosques, churches, homes, factories... decimating entire cities!
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Yes.
At an anti-Zionist Seder do they
call the 10 plagues a genocide?
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if ur “feminism” doesn’t recognize that a female airplane hijacker > a female prime minister, that’s not feminism.
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We are so sorry for being Jewish. Please forgive us 💔
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this is not antisemitic at all, it says “love jews!!!”
Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh and Chabad of Squirrel Hill have been targeted with antisemitic graffiti. This is a developing story.
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