khalil
@junkothemachine
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"they say all foxes are slightly allergic to linoleum. but it's cool to the paw. they say my tail needs to dry-cleaned twice a month. but now, it's fully detachable. see? they say our tree may never grow back. but one day something will. yes, these crackles are made from.
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This is the kind of stuff that makes you read the biography pamphlet and nod.
Attended a funeral today and this is what they served😋😭shout out to the deceased 🙌🏽
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Okrika in 7 years. And I'll be waiting.
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a serial killer that kills Nigerian politicians.
A serial killer that kills serial killers.
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Nigeria making the AFCON final will trigger the nastiest hate watch in the history of the sport.
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I'm about to have 5 different documents that allow me identify myself as a citizen of a country I don't even want to be identified with.
NIMC to roll out new multipurpose national ID card soon. ~ NIMC DG reveals
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the man who tucks in a chain mail is a fool everyday but one.
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Show the depth of this pack first. Show it in 3 dimensions.
i have 15 packs of fried Rice to sell. please twitter i need your help. 5k per pack. please RT. order was meant to be for 25th but i thought it was today. please i need your help guys.
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"what is this Sancho guy doing"."why can't he beat his man?"."he looks so passive".
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I can never look at hugo weaving without thinking about the fact that he was born in Ibadan.
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NYSC pre camp posting doesnt even come close to the final day of camp when people find out their relocation didnt work. Closest scenes you will get to an adaption of judgement day.
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T-Pain Means Temporary Pain, Tinubu’ll Win Re-Election – Okupe.
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I cant take this woman home and expect her to kneel down for the elders. I'm sorry.
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I hate that we dont call carbonated beverages "minerals" anymore. this used to be a proper country.
i hate that Nigerians call drunk, high.
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I don't think Germany as a country is ready for what happens if a relegated premier league manager wins the Bundesliga.
Vincent Kompany is the new head coach of FC Bayern, putting pen to paper on a deal until 2027 🔴⚪. #MiaSanMia
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this evening my girlfriend called, we spoke for about 5 mins and she went silent. i asked what was wrong, he said nothing. she then told me he feels so lucky to have a man like me, i smiled and told her i love her so much and she said he loves me too. love is a beautiful thing❤️.
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if we kill every last verified account, will we finally be free?
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surprised they recognised him and let him in wallahi. I looked better on my project defense.
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Nigeria was playing decent football in 2018 and these niggas wanted messi to pop us. I stopped taking them seriously then.
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and mayo is expensive as fuck. so I know you have the money to eat like a human being but choose to live like this.
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@1Kartello We could be married with three kids and running a family business and "soomthy" would still be a deal breaker for me.
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nigerian university students looking for the problem.
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Checked your bio and I nearly died of laughter.
So if a guy rape a lady who dresses like this.Is the boy at fault.Bah naa, ppl will support any rubbish
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Something you can just steal for free outside Abuja Central mosque?.
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Timothee Chalamet Superman
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A British accent doesn't move me the way a rich hausa girl accent does.
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@maybewavyy Way more than that cause Ronaldo and Messi fans have some sort of even division. I'm talking Liverpool vs Athletico in 2020.
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"Why are all the uchiha kids late for class today?"
Tweet like Naruto is REAL.
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been seeing the same cow in the bushy areas of my estate for 3 days. No herd.No herdsman.If I play my cards right, this Christmas could be an all timer.
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this guy was so useless. She had no demands, no standards, he just had to exist and he still bottled it.
Losing Asami is such a big L😭, like how do you fuck up that bad with a beautiful rich baddie?🥹
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the most likely scenario is batman paying him to walk away.
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Hopefully we dont .I want fights where I can actually tell whats going on most of the time.
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We used to take down mammoths as a rite of passage from adolescence to manhood.
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There are a million people that will sell their souls for the career Tom Holland has had.
Pushing 30 and not having a career outside spider-man is crazy levels of washed.
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that feeling when you correct the imam but you got the verse wrong too
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remember when the anime community on Twitter used to be so scanty that we used this GIF to acknowledge each other ?
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@_thedamola I laughed tire that day. Then Maradona called us monkeys and gave us the finger from the podium and a fellow Nigerian told me it was "passion".
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Cinema. Girls were wailing and soldiers said "wrap up your wailing before 12pm".
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you guys that degenerate this wholesome piece of media to yet another shallow discourse about gendered parental roles are losers btw.
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Tom Holland will have to face me in an Agni Kai at this point.
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Senior man sighting the bastard they will rob at the car park.
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Unc?
No way the niggas that never bought sachet water for N5 are on Twitter. I refuse to believe it.
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I hope whoever created upgrade is living his best life somewhere.
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There isn't a football team that on the planet that plays better than a team that just got a goal back when they were losing 2-0.
2-0 most dangerous scoreline in football.
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Nah I choose project mbappe.
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godforbid a man does method acting.
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Dividing of your soap to make it last long. Have you try this hack before?
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3rd frame would be on the Nigerian currency if we were a serious nation.
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we would be too easy to re-colonise dawg.
This movie go too tap! Mr Macaroni dey speak Korean ke🧎🏽♂️…. First Korean movie acted by Nigerians😂 🇳🇬🇰🇷
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Gotta love jujutsu cause just like real life,.Your rage means nothing.
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Haaland to score
A regular Nigerian undergrad student gets an interest free student loan running in millions… . Tell us what happens next….
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That indomitables promo in 06' with a ps2 up for grabs. Lives were lost
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E sweet me die. All the racist countries gone like smoke.
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Taylor Swift when your country is 5 - 0 down to Spain at halftime.
The next FIFA World Cup in 2026 is introducing a halftime show like the Super Bowl. It will be produced by Global Citizen.
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"Garri soakings"
Before y’all start your shenanigans Gari soakings originated in Ghana. So I’m not going to assume Nigerians eat it. Plus I actually thought you guys knew about it but I was just otp to my Nigerian friend, who didn’t know what it was until I explained. Then I deeped that I’ve
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Him running to Saudi to bully those poor imams only to be followed by ballers from Europe will never not be funny.
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Just yesterday an American traveled all the way to England to do the SUIIIIII. Pleeeasssee
So many people think football players are crazy popular. It’s so weird. Like how can you say a football player is more popular than Beyonce? Then name two football players than even I wouldn’t recognize. Lol.
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No way the niggas that never bought sachet water for N5 are on Twitter. I refuse to believe it.
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@messmerot "Sir my relocation didnt work what do I do?". "Young man the bus to dambam local govt is ready".
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I'm going to be very honest .I have not seen any Timothee Chalamet role that Tom Holland couldn't pull off.
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Death scenes aren't necessary too. Everyone death can happen off camera and be implied afterwards. But movies are an expression of reality and sex is very real. So piss off.
sex scenes in movies are NOT necessary. .
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That hairline was crazy.
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Antony .Yuta Okkotsu .My filmmaker neighbour and his drone.Netflix.Disney .Elon Musk.Israel .Ilorin.Nile University .Bukayo Saka.Yam.twitter user neotheclutch .Oda.Elanga.twitter user ummaty_.Anyone who owns a pet dog.
Whose downfall are we praying on in 2024?.
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We will check Odegaards stats when he hits 150 apps.
Bruno Fernandes is 1 contribution away from having 100 goal contributions for Man United. He's only played 152 games 🤯
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You don't want to know what Christian Bale was doing at 13.
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put your trust in this ratio.
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make I open bird app to troll bleach fans come see say my mama dey talk like this. 13th reason fr.
“There’s no marriage without fights, if my husband sexuålly abuses my child, he’ll be reported but that doesn’t mean I’ll divorce home him” Woman says. P.s: this is not scripted
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It's time
🚨⚠️ Reece James has suffered new injury, says Enzo Maresca. “Unfortunately Reece felt something small and we don't want to take a risk for this game”.
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Your cat would watch you die and hang around until it deems you edible.
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Football the way God intended. Until Pep the devil ruined it.
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I'm not on the Sakura hate train but.Hinata did this against the biggest international threat at the time. and Sakura watched her do it too.
It's exactly the same thing, but only one was recognized for her courage. Why?
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Now check his xG tears per episode.
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I'm not even defending myself like this.
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I was there.
name a famous historic battle.
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Oats are for people with class. I came to terms with this a long time ago. It's like Breaking Bad. It's not for everyone.
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They always hit you with this at the very peak of the movie.
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