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khalil Profile
khalil

@junkothemachine

Followers
1,455
Following
1,107
Media
3,236
Statuses
51,342

among endives
Joined December 2021
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@junkothemachine
khalil
3 months
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@junkothemachine
khalil
11 months
This is the kind of stuff that makes you read the biography pamphlet and nod.
@Slowburn_22
uDrake
11 months
Attended a funeral today and this is what they served😋😭shout out to the deceased 🙌🏽
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@junkothemachine
khalil
6 months
Okrika in 7 years. And I'll be waiting
@saint
SAINT
6 months
Lacoste x GOLF le FLEUR*
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@junkothemachine
khalil
5 months
a serial killer that kills Nigerian politicians.
@24thregen
nonso.
5 months
A serial killer that kills serial killers.
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@junkothemachine
khalil
5 months
Nigeria making the AFCON final will trigger the nastiest hate watch in the history of the sport.
@FabrizioRomano
Fabrizio Romano
5 months
Who’s gonna win the AFCON? 🏆🌍
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@junkothemachine
khalil
3 months
I can never look at hugo weaving without thinking about the fact that he was born in Ibadan.
@fasc1nate
Fascinating
3 months
Reeves, Moss and Weaving at the Matrix premiere in 1999
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@junkothemachine
khalil
5 months
I cant take this woman home and expect her to kneel down for the elders. I'm sorry.
@ayrastarr
Celestial being
5 months
That girlllllll 🥹
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@junkothemachine
khalil
11 months
I hate that we dont call carbonated beverages "minerals" anymore. this used to be a proper country
@qgatss
$Uche🇵🇹
11 months
i hate that Nigerians call drunk, high
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@junkothemachine
khalil
2 years
Queen Maeve whenever she sees Hughie
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 month
I don't think Germany as a country is ready for what happens if a relegated premier league manager wins the Bundesliga.
@FCBayernEN
FC Bayern Munich
1 month
Vincent Kompany is the new head coach of FC Bayern, putting pen to paper on a deal until 2027 🔴⚪ #MiaSanMia
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@junkothemachine
khalil
7 months
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@zllith
7 months
this evening my girlfriend called, we spoke for about 5 mins and she went silent. i asked what was wrong, he said nothing. she then told me he feels so lucky to have a man like me, i smiled and told her i love her so much and she said he loves me too. love is a beautiful thing❤️
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
Coughs*
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
surprised they recognised him and let him in wallahi. I looked better on my project defense.
@22metgala
@22metgala
1 year
Rami Malek at #MetGala
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@junkothemachine
khalil
7 months
Nigeria was playing decent football in 2018 and these niggas wanted messi to pop us. I stopped taking them seriously then
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@junkothemachine
khalil
5 months
and mayo is expensive as fuck. so I know you have the money to eat like a human being but choose to live like this.
@Omotoyobola
Omobola 🦋
5 months
New combo activated Comman join me for breakfast 😊😊
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@junkothemachine
khalil
2 years
@1Kartello We could be married with three kids and running a family business and "soomthy" would still be a deal breaker for me
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@junkothemachine
khalil
11 months
"Bro lived a good life"
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@junkothemachine
khalil
6 months
Checked your bio and I nearly died of laughter.
@bacellone1
Khalid🏃🏾
6 months
So if a guy rape a lady who dresses like this Is the boy at fault Bah naa, ppl will support any rubbish
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
Something you can just steal for free outside Abuja Central mosque?
@Rukayya_NG
RukayyaNG EST 2018
1 year
Hermés N960,000
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@junkothemachine
khalil
3 months
@o_mjay If he wants to be
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
Timothee Chalamet Superman
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@blurayangel
BLURAYANGEL 🦇
1 year
Superman: Legacy will star a 25 year old Clark Kent
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
A British accent doesn't move me the way a rich hausa girl accent does.
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@junkothemachine
khalil
5 months
@maybewavyy Way more than that cause Ronaldo and Messi fans have some sort of even division. I'm talking Liverpool vs Athletico in 2020
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@junkothemachine
khalil
8 months
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@obscurepluto
Aurora
8 months
no thoughts just pretty koi fish
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@junkothemachine
khalil
3 months
@FakhuusHashim He was born in UHC 😭 7 months before independence
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@junkothemachine
khalil
11 months
"Why are all the uchiha kids late for class today?"
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@yakipacks
Yotsu或
11 months
Tweet like Naruto is REAL
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@junkothemachine
khalil
5 months
this guy was so useless. She had no demands, no standards, he just had to exist and he still bottled it.
@iamnifemiii
𝕭𝖆𝖓𝖐𝖆𝖎
5 months
Losing Asami is such a big L😭, like how do you fuck up that bad with a beautiful rich baddie?🥹
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@junkothemachine
khalil
6 months
the most likely scenario is batman paying him to walk away.
@ReignOfPride
PridefulSin🫧
6 months
Batman vs Toji, both have prep time. Who’s winning?
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@junkothemachine
khalil
6 months
Hopefully we dont I want fights where I can actually tell whats going on most of the time.
@Shinkageryo
Turbo🐺🇫🇷🇧🇷
6 months
we won’t see something like this for a very long time
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
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@Mr_mansuuR
Mansur
1 year
post the same actor in two roles that show their range
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@junkothemachine
khalil
6 months
We used to take down mammoths as a rite of passage from adolescence to manhood.
@Jide_Adesugba
Big Daddy Jay!
6 months
The chicken put up a fight oo
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khalil
1 year
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@NicholasPas5
Nicholas
1 year
Same actor. But they’d probably hate each other
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@junkothemachine
khalil
2 years
that feeling when you correct the imam but you got the verse wrong too
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@junkothemachine
khalil
2 months
remember when the anime community on Twitter used to be so scanty that we used this GIF to acknowledge each other ?
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@junkothemachine
khalil
7 months
@_thedamola I laughed tire that day. Then Maradona called us monkeys and gave us the finger from the podium and a fellow Nigerian told me it was "passion"
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
Senior man sighting the bastard they will rob at the car park.
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@junkothemachine
khalil
5 months
Tom Holland will have to face me in an Agni Kai at this point.
@PopBase
Pop Base
5 months
Zendaya at the Schiaparelli fashion show.
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
I hope whoever created upgrade is living his best life somewhere.
@stephengiannart
STEPHEN (Tuna Man l COMS DM)
1 year
Ben 10
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
There isn't a football team that on the planet that plays better than a team that just got a goal back when they were losing 2-0.
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
Nah I choose project mbappe
@SmoothSailingMS
Smooth Sailing Mindset
1 year
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@junkothemachine
khalil
5 months
godforbid a man does method acting
@Naija_PR
Naija
5 months
Peaky Blinders actor, Paul Anderson fined for possession of Cocaine
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@junkothemachine
khalil
4 months
3rd frame would be on the Nigerian currency if we were a serious nation.
@NoteSphere
NTS.
4 months
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
Haaland to score
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@Letter_to_Jack
Man of Letters.
1 year
A regular Nigerian undergrad student gets an interest free student loan running in millions… Tell us what happens next…
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@junkothemachine
khalil
6 months
Gotta love jujutsu cause just like real life, Your rage means nothing.
@DemonSlayerG0AT
Mitsuri
6 months
Which anime character had the best rage moment?
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@junkothemachine
khalil
5 months
you were magnificent south africa
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@junkothemachine
khalil
5 months
E sweet me die. All the racist countries gone like smoke.
@lydzzle
maybe: wokst4r🫀🏳️
5 months
“we are not africans” but you wan win AFCON?
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
That indomitables promo in 06' with a ps2 up for grabs... Lives were lost
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@OdedRechavi
Oded Rechavi
1 year
Tenure
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@junkothemachine
khalil
2 years
Just yesterday an American traveled all the way to England to do the SUIIIIII. Pleeeasssee
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@imoteda
Imoteda
2 years
So many people think football players are crazy popular. It’s so weird. Like how can you say a football player is more popular than Beyonce? Then name two football players than even I wouldn’t recognize. Lol
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
So glad to see people going through pain.
@FolaLagos
Rodo
1 year
How did you find out your partner was cheating on you?
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@junkothemachine
khalil
4 months
I'm going to be very honest I have not seen any Timothee Chalamet role that Tom Holland couldn't pull off.
@neotheclutch
Ebuka
4 months
Tom could do Paul🧍🏽‍♂️
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@junkothemachine
khalil
6 months
Death scenes aren't necessary too. Everyone death can happen off camera and be implied afterwards. But movies are an expression of reality and sex is very real So piss off.
@a_layne96
Anna ☀️ ✝️
6 months
sex scenes in movies are NOT necessary...
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@junkothemachine
khalil
4 months
"barbenheimer"
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@junkothemachine
khalil
4 months
That hairline was crazy
@firelorddany
j. ☾
4 years
your unpopular opinions on avatar yangchen
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@junkothemachine
khalil
6 months
Antony Yuta Okkotsu My filmmaker neighbour and his drone Netflix Disney Elon Musk Israel Ilorin Nile University Bukayo Saka Yam twitter user neotheclutch Oda Elanga twitter user ummaty_ Anyone who owns a pet dog.
@JamesDGrambo
Ken Glizzy Jr.
6 months
Whose downfall are we praying on in 2024?
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@junkothemachine
khalil
2 years
@brfootball Won't be missed
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khalil
11 months
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
We will check Odegaards stats when he hits 150 apps.
@AidanWalshMUFC
Aidan Walsh 🔰
1 year
Bruno Fernandes is 1 contribution away from having 100 goal contributions for Man United. He's only played 152 games 🤯
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
You don't want to know what Christian Bale was doing at 13.
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@AbikeRuth
National Ambassador Joon Wife ¹⁰🤭
1 year
No Hollywood child actor can lace in his character in Blind, leemaoo
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@junkothemachine
khalil
11 months
@Ayo_mide___ I will not be made the enemy here
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@junkothemachine
khalil
5 months
put your trust in this ratio
@CFC_Janty
Janty
5 months
Penalties it is In Ronwen Williams we trust
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khalil
4 months
make I open bird app to troll bleach fans come see say my mama dey talk like this. 13th reason fr.
@mobytoolz
Jamila 🇳🇬◽
4 months
“There’s no marriage without fights, if my husband sexuålly abuses my child, he’ll be reported but that doesn’t mean I’ll divorce home him” Woman says. P.s: this is not scripted
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khalil
5 months
@loveiceprincesz That's true damn
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khalil
1 year
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@desusislord
ᑐᐱᑎI †
1 year
What desusislord tweet are you?
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khalil
3 months
@ogheneyxle fighting neo, captain America and the forces of sauron
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@junkothemachine
khalil
5 months
Your cat would watch you die and hang around until it deems you edible.
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@junkothemachine
khalil
6 months
Football the way God intended. Until Pep the devil ruined it
@centregoals
CentreGoals.
6 months
🚨🚨| GOAL: Guinea lead!! Cameroon 0-1 Guinea
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
@nourmcfc There is no way you watch football
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@junkothemachine
khalil
6 months
Now check his xG tears per episode.
@Zeroshiki_108
Zeroshiki
6 months
Mfs hating him for being a decent human being 😭
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@junkothemachine
khalil
7 months
I'm not even defending myself like this.
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@junkothemachine
khalil
8 months
I was there.
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@beyoncegarden
𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆🫧💚
8 months
name a famous historic battle
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
Oats are for people with class. I came to terms with this a long time ago. It's like Breaking Bad. It's not for everyone.
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khalil
1 year
They always hit you with this at the very peak of the movie.
@sophiee_ob
brume 🔌
1 year
Who remembers this channel 😭
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@junkothemachine
khalil
11 months
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@junkothemachine
khalil
2 years
@brfootball The world cup needs to be in generally comfortable locations. I beg
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@junkothemachine
khalil
9 months
@thatpoetclem @Nsukka_okpa Having misaligned priorities is still not an excuse to emotionally abuse a child. That's what his whole point is. There is no excuse.
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
The Orphan games
@Unbreakable_Ja
Ja 💸
1 year
Batman VS Naruto
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@junkothemachine
khalil
2 years
Can't believe we are still talking about this in September 2022. How exactly does someone "dress like a fraudster" in a country where the biggest theives wear agbadas and suits?
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@junkothemachine
khalil
3 months
Bellingham UCL = I'm happy Harry Kane UCL = I'm happy Mbappe UCL = I'm happy.
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
The last Japanese soldier from WW2 which ended in 1945, surrendered in 1974. Apparently he survived in jungle all that time, foraging for food, not knowing that the war was over.
@Rexmorgann
Rex Morgan
1 year
Me or Nikita Kering
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@junkothemachine
khalil
1 year
My mom woke up by 4 am and found me ironing my best suit and polishing my best shoes. She asked me what was the occasion and I told her... "Mum, today is Mykhailo Mudryk 007. I won't miss this event for the entire world and all its riches".
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@junkothemachine
khalil
8 months
I am a jujutsu sorcerer.
@rage_quitter1
Usman ✰
8 months
Are you a caller ? A texter? Or a Facetimer?
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@junkothemachine
khalil
2 years
a group chat for people between the ages of 20-30. where we come together at the end of the day and talk about what we did not achieve that day.
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@junkothemachine
khalil
3 months
we are getting jujutsu tech high in real life bringgg
@NigeriaStories
Nigeria Stories
3 months
JUST IN: Traditionalists want traditional religious knowledge as subject in schools, just like how other religions have their subjects. What’s your take on this ?
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khalil
1 year
@Elevated_Marv None of this knowledge will make that outfit look good
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@junkothemachine
khalil
2 years
@utdreport It's that time again
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@junkothemachine
khalil
11 months
Spiderman lotus jokes will never not be funny
Crashing the Spider-Man: Lotus premiere:
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@junkothemachine
khalil
4 months
education is not enough. we need to create an environment with real consequences for harassment.
@Marilei0
Miss Chérié
4 months
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khalil
7 months
that's crazy but choso mourning the death of his brothers all the while not knowing the nigga across the table is their father is fucking crazy. kenjaku is a sick person.
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@Noodledori1
Noodles | 🍜
7 months
Girl was really thirsting over her cousin
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@junkothemachine
khalil
2 years
The office (2005)
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@junkothemachine
khalil
9 months
That video is so triggering for yoruba kids man. We don too suffer.
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khalil
6 months
@ogheneyxle Patiently
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khalil
10 months
@wholelifeismeh He looks so comfortable.
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@junkothemachine
khalil
5 months
@chidubom
m
5 months
chowdeck dispatch riders earn 80k weekly ??????
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khalil
5 months
Ahh yes. All those Africans that attacked Gareth Bale's car. All those Africans that stormed Ed Woodwards house. All those Africans that block Yeri Mina and Antony Gordon at the car park last season. This is not an African thing and you know it.
@mitchollo
🇵🇹
5 months
african football fans dawg, sore losers and parasites to the sports. what is there to exit a competition and accept that it's part of the game?
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@junkothemachine
khalil
2 years
Glass Onion : A Knives Out Mystery (2022) dir. Rian Johnson
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@junkothemachine
khalil
3 months
@FakhuusHashim Queen Elizabeth road I think. I'm not too familiar with Ibadan
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khalil
5 months
the way strausses irritation increases ever so slightly with each reply from Oppenheimer. This isn't possible without generational talent.
@fiendformojitos
collin
5 months
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khalil
1 year
He played for Madrid and Bayern. He understands what it means to be wicked.
@David_Alaba
David Alaba
1 year
Job’s not finished.
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khalil
1 year
@utdreport Please give us Sevilla and let us be done with it.
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@junkothemachine
khalil
4 months
If you think any character beats saitama. You have not grasped the concept of saitama
@tunechistark
Kαмi🪆
4 months
Saitama runs the ultimate gauntlet, how far does he get?
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@junkothemachine
khalil
3 months
There is only pounded yam Running undisputed long before the colonisers touched down on our shores.
@fahad__yd
Uncle Fahad👨🏽‍✈️
3 months
What is even the big 3 of swallow?
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