Johnny Oats
@johnny_oats
Followers
783
Following
494
Media
858
Statuses
13,977
I am in the mood for a light and breezy adventure, so I'm currently playing #DeathStranding . I don't think it'll affect my sense of humor.
Joined January 2012
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Pinned Tweet
“Oh, you had trouble with that boss? I beat it on my first try. I find the game very easy, actually.”
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The exact moment my wife will walk in on me playing "narrative masterpiece" FF7 Rebirth.
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@SunsetMiami_
I was just trying to offer some advice. You don’t need to get so mad. Chill out.
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What's stopping you from building a game room in your crawl space?
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@a_tardigrade
@WhiteHouse
You are missing that business owners dropped employee salaries to PPP maximum, borrowed money to cover payroll for months, pocketed those savings, and then had the loan released. PPP loans went directly to the bottom line (profit) for most businesses.
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You're not allowed to say you like Elden Ring lore if you have to watch Youtube videos to understand it. Real fans interpret the source material without summoning.
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Simultaneous gamer demands:
1) Maintain AAA fidelity, massive hour counts, open worlds
2) Charge less money for games
3) Do not sell anything inside of games to supplement retail price
4) Do not accept support from 1st parties to reduce dev cost and/or retail price
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Valve is honestly a good fit for Microsoft. They don’t make video games either.
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Bought this underrated game on sale today, which will only upset you if you have crappy manners and/or taste.
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POV: you are not a parent and you are about to share parenting advice.
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Fallout 4 has always been a great game. Meet me at the Dollar General parking lot and we can fist fight over it if you disagree.
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Hey, don't worry. If you're mad about how woke GTAVI is, you *will also* be represented in the game.
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How much do you spend on soda daily? Trying to understand if $250/day is abnormal?
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Someone born in 2004 would like to assert that they know more about games than you.
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If you're mad at Boogie, just try to remember that one time when he took an escort out on a date and ate two full entrees to himself, then performed coitus so badly that the sex worker quit sex work.
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Anyone else having a severe lighting issue in Rebirth? Here's what Junon looks like for me.
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I am at the emergency room with a printout of this image.
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Do I need to play Elden Ring before Shadow of the Erdtree?
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Thank god the kids are asleep. Now it's ethical to game according to non-parents!
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Gamers high key mad when characters look like them.
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I'm at a point in life where I really do think it's funny when someone tries to call me a loser. I have a family, my bills are paid, and I'm happy. You can't touch me, you sweaty little corn dog bitch.
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Here's the thing, okay? If you haven't beaten Mohg yet, you didn't need DLC to experience more Elden Ring.
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What do you normally spend on lunch when you’re at work? $45 or so? $60? Trying to gauge what’s normal.
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Here's the thing, okay? Minigames aren't "filler" if they're fun.
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Imagine finding your dad's twitter account and he's online 24/7 calling people virgin ponies with an anime avatar.
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Just finished listening to the Official Xbox Podcast. Very happy to report that Starfield is not coming to PS5!
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If you want proof that I am in fact a British UK man living in the sewer under Buckingham Palace, I present to you Exhibit A -- which I shall indubitably enjoy over toast in very short order indeed!
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In light of Boogie's tweet, I would like to take this opportunity to celebrate white culture within AAA video games. Thank you.
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In my personal opinion, Star Field is not the game of the generation.
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Can I... Can I clear something up really quick? Thank you.
No one – and I cannot stress this enough – no one wants or needs to hear your lecture about OG FF7 being "better" than 7R on Rebirth release day. Go hold a sign at a busy intersection if you care that much, alright?
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It's okay for a 5 hour game to cost $70 in the same way that it's okay for a steak to cost $100+. It's a luxury item. It's there for you to purchase if you want to. If the value doesn't work for you, buy something else. Hope that helps!
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There's a guy on this app who eats food in the shower and I find it so upsetting that I always want to delete this app when I see his posts.
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I would happily pay $400 to $600 for longer video games at release. I think $2 to $3 per hour is far less than the federal minimum wage for a 100+ hour game and devs deserve to make more.
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Is Tango Gameworks not entitled to the sweat of its own brow? Do they not dare to do the impossible? To build a studio unshackled by the constraints of petty morality? Now is the season for all things! A time to live and a time to die, a time to build... and a time to destroy!
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You've done it. You've made it to the end of another work week. I hope you have a relaxing and restorative weekend. I know I will. Love you all.
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My Steam Deck arrived, and she runs Xbox perfectly. You can see the joy in my eyes. Thank you.
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Today, I am taking a risk in my career. Wish me luck. If it works, I should be marginally happier and healthier this year, and have a little more time for myself and my family.
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Is there anything more confusing than being really late to a service game? You fire it up and it's a launcher with ads for DLC, a bunch of "event" updates that don't make any sense, an inbox full of "gifts" that are all way better than your starting gear, etc.
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Woke bullshit trash remake. Give Cloud his pit hair back. Fucking Barbie movie. Sweet Baby Ray’s all over this HORSE shit. (I use an Excel sheet to track what I’m angry about.)
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Don't even think about messing with me, you woke OG FF7 deniers. Cloud's pit hair is canon. You wanna fight me over it? This is who you're messing with, bucko.
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My FOMO is 10/10 on Helldivers 2 but I am not convinced it's going to be an enjoyable game for me just matchmaking into random groups. Am I wrong?
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If you’re a man and you’re super pissed about the main character’s jawline in Star Wars Outlaws, please join me in protest at your local Safeway today. We are going to have sex with the rotisserie chickens to prove that we deserve more from Star Wars.
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People with cats are always sharing pictures of cats with each other, and I feel really left out because I don't have a cat. And I wish they would stop.
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The central lesson that FF7 teaches has nothing to do with environmentalism. The people of the Sector 7 slums had very negative vibes, and Shinra is a positive vibes only company. By dropping the plate, Shinra teaches the player that positive vibes always prevail.
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PC gamers are like the motorcycle dad in your neighborhood who won’t stop revving his motorcycle in the driveway all the time. The entire world knows you have a motorcycle. We get it!
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Square stepping up to the plate to put DeviantArt out of business.
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If you watch a show like today's Xbox showcase and you genuinely feel nothing, I will personally buy you a Costco hot dog if you promise never to talk about games in public again.
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Alright. It’s not even fair how good this new projector looks. I’m never using my TV again. WOW.
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Baldur’s Gate 3 is poorly optimized for use with racing wheels. That’s just a fact. Deal with it.
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Please don't make fun of people for spending too many hours on video games. Make fun of people for having too many platinums.
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I lost 3 followers after I posted this but I won't stop talking about my gourds. If you can't handle that, go ahead and leave. You can't make me stop.
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It took approximately 35 minutes of work emails to undo the mental health I gained from an 11 day vacation.
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Let's wade into it again today, folks:
Final Fantasy is whatever they say it is. They make it. It's their call. Turn based, action based, remakes, demakes, whatever. If it's a video game called "Final Fantasy", there's no "argument" to be made otherwise.
Thank you.
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Thanks for the ideas, everyone. Turns out you need HDR enabled to fix my issue — on the console and the display. I had it off on both previously.
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Can I just say something real quick? This is not directed at any specific person, ok? But like... I find it so pedantic to say "nothing is perfect" when we're ranking games. If you wouldn't change anything about the game, then I think it's cool to call it "perfect".
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Even if FF7 isn’t your favorite FF, your inner child demands that you acknowledge how mind blowing something like 7R is for those of us who grew up with the game. It’s illegal to be grumpy about this game. This is an event.
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Don’t believe that I’m British and Australian? Argue with this.
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Yes, I am happy to purchase each game in the 7R series for $70. No, I do not think this should have been released as one game. Devs need more time and money to make 7R the event that it is. If anything, we should encourage this practice for huge games.
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I've been unfollowed by 8 people today, and I really do think it's the whole bird shit incident. The bird ruined my life. I'm going to capture the bird and I'm going to eat the bird. That's the only path forward from here.
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WOKE HORSE SHIT SWEET BABY RAY'S
WHY DON'T THEY MAKE A WHITE BBQ SAUCE????
DEI WOKE BULLSHIT BBQ SAUCE
SWEET BABY RAY'S IS RUINING VIDEO GAMES WITH WOKE SAUCE
WE WILL RISE UP THE GAMERS WILL RISE UP
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Quick update: my gamble paid off.
Today, I am taking a risk in my career. Wish me luck. If it works, I should be marginally happier and healthier this year, and have a little more time for myself and my family.
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You know how they do a house visit before they let you adopt a rescue dog? They should do those for buying Stellar Blade.
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Sorry man, but if you call a woman you don't even know a "cunt" on Twitter, I'm going to assume that you live in a ditch and burn discarded tires for warmth. We all know you leave shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot and don't have a muffler on your car.
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My wife was pretty mad about the whiskey stones I got her for Mother’s Day, so I called in sick from work and spent all day building this “she shed” to make up for it — fully stocked with all my favorite bourbons.
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@alexplaysvg
@SunsetMiamiTTV
The rich live in the sky above the slums. The rich drop a metal plate on the poor, murdering thousands. Stories often have more than one meaning.
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This app's cruelty knows no limit.
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I'm thrilled to share that I've accepted a caretaking role at a remote mountainside resort this winter. My family and I get to spend 3 months here in total isolation! I'll be using the time to work on my flipping. All this work and no play – well, it's made me a dull flipper!
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You know what? Give me an open world Sekiro 2. I don't care about the details. Make it happen.
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