John B
@johnb78
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Brother to dragons and/or jackals; companion to owls and/or ostriches. On the land of the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. He/him.
Sydney, Australia
Joined January 2009
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HAPPY TWENTY FOURTH
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Chelsea
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Liverpool
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God Kabir Increases Age
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#光る君へ
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BUILD TEAM FJR
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ジャニーズ
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Pinned Tweet
*Julius Caesar at karaoke*
🎶 Gaul, you'll be a Roman soon
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Literally the strongest proof you could provide that Khelif is a woman
Macron with Algerian ‘women’s’ boxer Imane Khelif in 2022.
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Based on the fact that the shooter tried to shoot Trump, rather than posting that Trump should be shot and then not shooting him, we can rule out the idea that they were a leftist
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Overheard one half of conversation:
-I should get this Chinese tattoo removed, it's my ex wife's name
-Yes, she was Chinese
-No she still is Chinese she's just not my wife any more
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It turns out that if you have an underclass of indentured servants making up the majority of the population, life for the rich minority can be materially very comfortable
Living in the UAE for 2 months now, some observations.
- It is the SAFEST place on Earth. I haven't locked my car door or my house in a month.
- People are motivated - everyone is striving to be better, do better and success is proudly celebrated.
- Water, gas, electricity
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The pivot from "nobody should be allowed in" to "nobody should be allowed out" was kind of inevitable
More than 15,000 NHS doctors left Britain last year.
It can cost up to £400,000 to train them.
It’s only fair on the taxpayer that new doctors and nurses should stay here for a given period of time.
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You'd pay £20 for this out of a food truck in Shoreditch and they'd call it a For Bucks Sake
Mixed buckfast and sake, will report back 👍
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Whenever I get irritated with young people for incomprehensible weirdness like calling crispy duck pizza racist or watching videos of people playing computer games, I feel it's important to remember that old people voted to burn down the economy and put babies in prison.
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First time in recorded history that an American has called an Irishman English and nobody in Ireland has gotten mad
Tim Heidecker denounces Graham Linehan as "a louse and a problem" over his misogynistic Ella Emhoff tweet and says "I wish I'd never met the creep".
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The UK cracked the secret of successful metro construction and operation in 1967, and then sent everyone who did it off to Hong Kong and Singapore for the rest of their working lives
The Victoria Line at peak is truly a remarkable operation
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Literally the most predictable bio ever
The best advice I could give to all Catholics is to completely ignore Pope Francis. History will likely record him as a bad pope, a heretic and perhaps even an antipope (maybe). The antipope thing can only be determined by a future pope. Irregardless of whatever he is, Catholics
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Reminder: a young person living in urban rented accommodation with little chance of buying and working as a barista or call centre operative is working class under any meaningful definition of the term, even if they have an arts degree and think that Black Lives Matter (1/2)
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This is a clash between two different underlying beliefs: the belief that a child is a parent's property to do what they want with, and the (correct) belief that of course that isn't true and claiming it is weird and gross
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Crowdstrike appear to have - I think the technical term is - fucked it
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*man burns down your house*
Columnist: love him or loathe him, that man has massively impacted your house
If anyone deserves a peerage,
@Nigel_Farage
does. Love or loathe him he has massively impacted our politics
#PMQs
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As someone who had Corbyn as my local MP for a decade, it's really odd to realise how little his Labour-right critics know about him. He's the only person I can think of for whom whataboutery would never work, because he really did go on every single march and petition for anyone
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Hahaha, this is one of the best executed versions of this joke I've seen
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The note is fun but doesn't tell the whole story. All of Sugar's business ventures were failures except for the property investment business, which he got into by mistake because factories need land. He's incorrectly filed as a tech wizard/industrialist when he's just a landlord.
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In pleasing news, that company that raised everyone's salary to US$70k is doing really well five years later
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This shows up as a stock image for "engineering collaboration", which is impressively sarcastic
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Average American: hahaha the British eat tasteless grey slop
Average American trying actual British food: oh no this has an actual taste of something other than corn syrup, my tummy hurts, I want my mommy
My new favourite genre:
Americans trying Coleman's English Mustard
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I hope the guy wrongly named as the Bondi attacker takes Channel 7 to the cleaners
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A retired person living in a house they own outright with a guaranteed pension is not working class under any meaningful definition of the term, even if they own several cloth caps and whippets and only eat pie and chips (2/2)
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Very impressed by the Victorian state conservative MP who managed to lose his own rigged Facebook poll
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The Telegraph's paywall fade-out of Heffer's imperial measurements piece perfectly mimics your brain if you were to actually read it.
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As the last WW2 Allied soldiers die off, we'll see more and more of this sickening Nazi apologism
In 1939 Britain went to war to defend Poland’s authoritarian paternalist right wing regime. After France fell, Britain’s only ally before Stalin’s murderous dictatorship, Greece, was an authoritarian quasi-fascist military dictatorship. The lib 1945 myth is worth deconstructing.
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Andrew Neil is like the Landesbanken, in that he is publicly owned by everyone in Germany.
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An interesting thing about getting older is that it is much clearer just how many older people with reactionary views who claim to have been liberal in the past were actually just lying about the latter bit.
Julie Bindel in the Telegraph in 2023 during the fight against an anti-trans moral panic over GRA reform, compared to Julie Bindel in the Guardian in 2001 during the fight against an anti-gay moral panic over Section 28 and equalising the age of consent.
Quite something.
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It is quite annoying to see the number of people who don't otherwise seem like blithering idiots, but are incapable of understanding that racism is the intersection of prejudice and power rather than just 'being rude about an arbitrary genetic characteristic'.
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Just saw the actual photo for Elon's tunnel for the first time and *even in the context of Vegas*, how the fuck is that legal? We've known for decades that *two lane road tunnels with pedestrian exit lanes* are death traps, never mind this monstrosity
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The reason they're called Young Conservatives is because Jim Henson already trademarked Muppet Babies
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It is mildly terrifying when letters to the Daily Mail provide better analysis than mainstream commentary
http://t.co/f3y6NNFDFR
@J_amesp
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He died with a cannonball in his chest, but it's impossible to say whether he died *of* a cannonball in his chest. 95% of people who die with a cannonball in their chest have other co-morbidities, like massive blood loss and missing limbs
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Now imagine how the reporting on this would look if his dad had been PM of Nigeria or Mexico for 10 years
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"stripper at a covid superspreading hen's night who also worked as a tradie at an aged care home" - come on reality, this is a dumb soap opera plot
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The Liberal Party misogyny stories are very grim overall, but it is nonetheless extremely funny that Christopher Pyne was a member of a secret society called the Big Swinging Dicks. Like discovering that Peter Dutton was in MENSA
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Impressed by the last one here - I wouldn't have thought even the FT would have many readers with that kind of budget
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The impressive thing about Katie Hopkins is how far she is from being the worst person on Channel Seven's payroll, having never murdered an unarmed Afghan and drunk a toast from his prosthetic leg
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The whole "Australians were't exposed to folk US South Jim Crow-ish descriptions of black people until the internet got millennials all woke" narrative is such egregious, transparently false bullshit. Go to any provincial antique/bric-a-brac shop and check out the old postcards.
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The Novichok think is I think a new low in dishonest weird media talking to scientists. "Can you 100% prove that Russians made this" / "No of course not, that isn't how substances work" / "SCIENTISTS REFUSE TO CONFIRM OBVIOUSLY RUSSIAN NERVE AGENT MADE BY RUSSIANS SO IT WASN'T"
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Ahahahahaha amazing: Crossrail is a failure, according to the BBC, because it has too many passengers
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Labour are doing better in polls among 18-29s now than they did at the height of Corbyn's poll popularity. The problem for The Left is that each Deano who switches from the Tories because his mortgage has doubled is worth 2x the votes of each Corbynist who quits in disgust
The number of young people I know who have gone from canvassing for the Labour Party in the freezing cold to vowing that they will never vote Labour while the current leader is in charge is really quite staggering. A generation feeling proper betrayal
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I'll take "ways in which British people don't spell 'behaviour' but their American publicists do" for 200, Alex
To be clear, sexual assault is no laughing matter. I was not trying to make light of Harvey’s inexcusable behavior, (1/2)
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This is already one of my favourite celebrity tweets of all time.
When you've been arguing with fed-ex all week that you really are Madonna and they still won't release your package. 🙄!
#bitchplease
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Have to admit, if you'd told me in January 2020 that a serious question heading into the 2024 UK general election would be whether the LDs would become the official opposition then I would not have taken that as good news for the Labour Party
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Clegg's knighthood is doing a great job of irritating both the Brexit gammon and the far left, and therefore must officially be declared a Good Thing.
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@hollyb_herself
@gorfram
@thefringthing
@NeolithicSheep
In the early 2000s Continental managed to time their evening flights out of Newark so that 4 flights to Manchester NH, Manchester UK, Birmingham AL and Birmingham UK all left from the same terminal within 15 minutes of one another
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And on the pedestal these words appear -
My name is Ozymandias, king of kings. Look on:
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This is actually a great example, in that pre-Musk Twitter was moaned about a lot by irritating dullards but was actually fine, whereas post-Musk the app crashes all the time, video doesn't work, it's full of Nazis, and all the advertisers have sensibly run away
Elon Musk fired 90% of Twitter’s work force and it’s still functioning perfectly.
Government employees:
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The most important political story of this year by far (if we take pure politics rather than economic/military outcomes) is the one where Murdoch wouldn't marry his new wife because all the things she believed from his TV channels made her too deranged for him to put up with
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for newcomers to US politics: yes, this is why most ex-slave states with huge black populations aren't swing states
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Just to be clear, if anyone wants to insult Graham Linehan at my funeral then they're very welcome, it is quite literally what I would have wanted
He said this out of the blue at a funeral? Or were you whinging about yourself and your bigotry at a funeral? I wld guess the latter.
Rather than listen to him, a long tíme friend, you post this then listen to ur shit stirring hatefilled no mates in ur replies. Loser behaviour
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Great example of the public being objectively wrong (pensioners are by far the most supported and politically powerful group in the UK, as the current insane farce about mildly inconveniencing the richer ones shows)
We asked about whether a series of groups were getting enough, the right amount or too little support from the Government and it was Pensioners that the public were most likely to say got too little support (63%) and who also have too little influence (52%)
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Compulsory preferential voting is the only true democracy
I love an election and I also love compulsory voting. Seeing a 50 % turnout is sad.
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Genuinely mental that the UK, Germany and France are considered more dangerous than Yankland and whichever Canberra hack decided that should be tarred and feathered
The Australian government's advice on traveling to other countries
(by u/ImagineGeese)
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As far as I can make out, Swift's underlying crime here is dating a British millennial guy who's left-wing but thinks that bad taste jokes can be funny, rather than a Yank Zoomer who thinks that all jokes should be illegal
Before I leave for NYC, here is my thread on seeing Taylor this weekend while she is dating a racist, Islamophobic, anti-semitic overall problematic white man. While I don't necessarily "owe" anyone this thread, it is important to me to take my public leadership seriously.
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Evicting a business owner from the $2m house he's renting, with 90 days notice, because you're selling it, is about the least problematic or exploitative thing a landlord has ever done
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@MForstater
Hey Maya, what gender is the Duracell bunny? Cos you're both famous for still going
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A hill I'll absolutely die on is that Rumsfeld's "known and unknown unknowns" speech (despite the fact that he was a evil man) is a clever and insightful way of looking at the world, and to mock it for sounding silly is to prove that you are an idiot with worthless opinions
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Honestly astonishing that a standalone high street vacuum cleaner chain kept going for 25 years after online shopping was invented
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It's really good that this happens, it will definitely help deal with the most important vectors of child abuse, and any parent who objects is a weirdo who treats their child as a possession rather than a human
My 12 year old son received this letter from our GP practice this morning.
Is there anyone else out there who’s 12 year old received anything like this before their 13th birthday?
I’m shocked. This is so sinister.
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Imagine if you're left leaning and have some issues with the current iteration of the Labour party but instead of behaving like a decent sane human and swallowing your arrogant pride for two fucking weeks, you fuck about like some kind of cunt and get a fascist elected
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Bless the people in the mentions who think the joke is about paying cash for beers
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Imagine the levels of wilfully ignorant oafishness required not to believe that researching the politics of England's staple crop during the Agricultural Revolution was useful to society.
Always wanted to know more about this. Sound £879,525 taxpayer investment.
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If I were murdered by some right wing scumbag, you'd all better bloody well politicise my death as hard as you possibly can against right wing scumbags, otherwise I absolutely promise to come back and haunt you for being spineless cowards
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Sci-fi Edgar Allen Poe story where you go back in time to kill baby Hitler and succeed, but in the world that you've reset by doing so (including your own memories), you're perpetually haunted by the fact that you went back in time and murdered a baby for no discernible reason
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I'll forgive Zuckerberg a lot for this piece of algorithmic matching excellence.
http://t.co/BV2YNYGkfZ
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