Justin Profile
Justin

@jmshapyro

Followers
626
Following
118
Media
951
Statuses
9,411

I am very good, at it

Joined May 2011
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
MOST DISGUSTING PROMOTIONAL TACTIC 1. Cody Rhodes tricks people into watching multiple entire episodes of Monday Night Raw
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
is it that surprising that Keith Lee signed with AEW when his own manager, Adam Cole, already works there?
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@jmshapyro
Justin
1 year
insane and beautiful that AEW dramatically built to Christian addressing Nick Wayne’s unalive father like it was Captain America picking up Thor’s hammer
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
the prophecy has chosen pro wrestling’s next superstar of the future
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
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@jmshapyro
Justin
4 months
as someone unfamiliar with any of Triple “Paul Levesque” H’s 30 years of contributions to this industry, it is completely unexpected and unprecedented that he’s made himself the center of attention ahead of the more charismatic stars who people really want to see
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@jmshapyro
Justin
4 years
people complain that John Cena never put people over but he just agreed to let his soul be transported to an evil dimension where it will be imprisoned and forever toil.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
Excalibur: “this is important strategy, drawing on the history.” Tony: “ooh baby. man, you’ve just got to love it!” JR: “and what ‘genius’ decided it should be called Coke Zero Sugar? what was wrong with just Coke Zero? you’re telling me you’re making the name longer? christ”
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@jmshapyro
Justin
1 year
the rolling breakdown in AEW communications makes sense when you realize it's a game of telephone where Punk's bitter sarcasm, the Bucks' passive aggression, Moxley's gallows humor, and Jericho's glibness are all getting filtered through a very sincere 1980s IBM personal computer
@TrevorDame
Trevor Dame
1 year
Dave in the Observer news update described this obvious (and great) gleeful troll as "He cut a total face promo, blamed himself for the loss since he was the captain and said like the Toronto Maple Leafs, he'll come back stronger." Oh Dave.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
6 months
it’s tragicomic that Punk’s spite-fueled mission landed him in WWE at the moment that the corporate rot he built his aesthetic around criticizing has metastasized. perfect time for his body to physically reject being in Vince Jr’s ring tbh. the canvas is made of MRSA and despair.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
Triple H was right. the Wednesday Night War ended in 2021 with Dynamite kicked off of TNT and the Undisputed Era standing tall.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
this Dynamite shot angles for Darby Allin/CM Punk, Jon Moxley/Hiroshi Tanahashi, and Chris Jericho/Juventud Guerrera
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
Ric Flair returning to Turner television would represent the final unVinceifying of wrestling in North America and free WCW from a 20-year Titan Curse. Rhodes, Schiavone, Sting, and Flair. Tony Khan is essentially the reincarnation of Fusient Media. this is powerful storytelling.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
there is a Stadium Stampede this year, it's WWE stampeding out of stadiums
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@jmshapyro
Justin
4 months
it's refreshing that WWE no longer bullies its ring announcers or calls its female announcers horsefaces on TV (forget who did that, must be a real prick) 👥Readers added context User was assassinated via drone strike by the passionate fans of the WWE Universe for this post.
@TripleH
Triple H
4 months
If you didn’t already know that @SamanthaTheBomb is a star - here’s your proof. Samantha is @WWE ’s @Michael_Buffer .
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@jmshapyro
Justin
1 year
Cody made the speech, but the most fitting Terry Funk tribute of the week is Sting doing hardcore spots in his 60s to get the upstart promotion over on their breakout show
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
haha Rollins doing the Drip God dance down the Shield stairs is like when you make Kane do Stacy Keibler's entrance in a video game
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
if that had been MJF vs Punk as originally planned, Punk was going to be betrayed by Larry
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
Survivor Series was bad, but thankfully coming up soon is the Royal Rumble which will be bad and then Wrestlemania which is scheduled to be bad as well
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@jmshapyro
Justin
10 months
there’s far more dignity in tweeting one’s demented thoughts to the world than in privately venting to Bryan Alvarez
@WrestleOps
Wrestle Ops
10 months
Per Bryan Alvarez, the overall thought within AEW is that they want Tony Khan to put his phone away and step away from social media.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
7 months
Triple Paul is just a little guy and he’s so busy with work. 🥺 it’s unconscionable to bother him when he’s literally so tired from being busy with work 😔 imagine if you were tired, as well as busy with work, and people were bothering you with questions about the newspaper 😢
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
Tony Khan: “all our world title changes in the first 2 years of our company were planned out in a pristine, dramatic order with substantial lengths. all our world title changes in our 3rd year were intended to crash the Wikipedia entry for the belt by requiring so many footnotes”
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@jmshapyro
Justin
4 years
Harper and Rowan: “the Saudi government just grounded our plane! we’re stuck here at the mercy of an authoritarian, fundamentalist regime.” Vince: “quick, get on my private jet. we’re about to take off.” Harper and Rowan: “thank you!” Vince: “I was talking to the mallets.”
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@jmshapyro
Justin
1 year
House of Black is a good act because it’s four people who all worship the same demonic entity, but they are - The Dutch King of The Bone Riddles - a big ol’ bear, grrr - pissy shredded guy who is like “yeah I am a ghost too or whatever we’re doing” - 21-year-old actual witch
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
unfortunately, as per stipulation, Cody Rhodes can never again challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship. the main event is Reigns vs Rock
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
“um OKAY, epic sauce much? ending Smackdown with the return of Top Dolla as the new Smackdown GM? yeah, Triple H just DID THAT. 🤯🔥” - Ryan Satin on Friday
@TrevorDame
Trevor Dame
2 years
Danielson back. Punk back. Omega likely back any minute now. Can it compete with the returns of Dexter Lumis and Killer Kross? No. But fans will make do.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
this isn’t fucking fair
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@AEW
All Elite Wrestling
3 years
Your judges for this #AEW World Championship rematch are: @TheMarkHenry , @PaulWight and @itsjerrylynn . Tune into #AEWDynamite LIVE on @TBSNetwork !
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@jmshapyro
Justin
5 months
AEW freaks: “our multiyear favorite wrestler MJF was being annoying this month so we’ve decided to commence cyberbullying him” WWE freaks: “your claim that NXT hire and volleyball major Elsie McConville is subpar merely because she asphyxiated in the ring apron is hate speech”
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
the opposite of Straight Edge is Hook
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
Just a friendly reminder that top executives dropping out of their company was not a common occurrence before the introduction of Covid-19 mRNA vaccine mandates.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
the gravity of this historical moment really calls for a Meltzer tweet that just says something like "story is true"
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@jmshapyro
Justin
4 years
in fairness, Jericho was understandably distracted in November 2000 because he was being hunted by the twisted and terrifying demon Kane after accidentally spilling coffee on him.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
5 months
AEW has a Strong champion that is international and an International champion that is Strong
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@jmshapyro
Justin
4 years
it's kookoo bananas that 25% of Becky Lynch's historic year as champion was spent feuding with an NXT call-up who was like "oh behave sugah, I'm from the Antebellum South, I baked a pie on a windowsill and I do declare I do a big punch."
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@jmshapyro
Justin
1 year
“CM Punk you jealous prick, there’s not a damn thing you can do about this” [I hit myself in the testicles and balls with a golf club] “yeah that’s right. deal with it”
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
I feel bad for Randy Orton cuz he seems so sincerely proud of doing the best interviews of his career in his 2020 programs with Edge and McIntyre, and then directly after that he’s spent 6 months doing a paranormal activities feud with a fat ghost and his child bride
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
AEW does not need 6-man tag team titles or women’s tag titles, it needs a father-and-son tag team championship so that every nice boy and their loving dad (Sting, Taz, Jake, Tully, Arn) can competitively bond together. WWE already has this.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
10 months
UNDERTAKER: "darkness comes for those who blacken midnight's cemetery coffin grave. but the superstars of NXT will never rest. in. peace." *chokeslams Drew Gulak* RINGER GUY: holy shit im literally crying rn
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@jmshapyro
Justin
11 months
Punk leaves and Bryan gets the main event, just like 2014
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@jmshapyro
Justin
6 months
WWE pulling the rug out from under their own top angle is a Canon Event and I think it’s good that the now-14-year-olds who’ve been chanting Ucey and YEAH! for 2 years have finally experienced this rite of passage. sorry “my dawgs.” both then and now, he “did it for the Rock.”
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@jmshapyro
Justin
5 years
there are clips from like 3 years ago where Xavier Woods says his dream is not to become WWE Champion, it’s to help Kofi Kingston become WWE Champion. and it was like “well, that’s a nice thing to say.” but ... now he is actually going to get to do it! that’s so precious 😭
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
wow they not only flew in Shibata but the jar with his brain in it got through TSA
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@jmshapyro
Justin
1 year
my fav form of wrestling theater criticism is “this is NOT how you appeal to the modern mainstream audience. take it from me, an utter freak completely calcified in years of esoteric nonsense.”
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
Danhausen has evolved into his more dangerous and deadly form: Danhausen.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
8 years
I didn't know Roman Reigns did hard drugs but I know he had a serious problem with boos
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@jmshapyro
Justin
5 years
holy shit. I have an exclusive sneak peek from the trailer
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@jmshapyro
Justin
6 years
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
the Slammys parody of this 8 months from now is going to be very funny, natural, and cool
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
AEW all nighterrrrrrrr. Tony says we don’t have to go to school tomorrow and we can sleep in the living room. and he says actually we can have candy for breakfast
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
knock-knock who’s there? the police the police who? the police who have to do this because I did a good vote at a fire station
@Taniel
Taniel
3 years
RESULT: Pittsburgh has overwhelmingly voted to ban no-knock warrants for police in a local ballot initiative.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
1 year
this hobby sucks shit and is stupid
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@jmshapyro
Justin
4 years
THE FIEND IS HERE. you fucked up too much this time Mr. President and now you’re gonna have to let him in
@jimgeraghty
Jim Geraghty
4 years
Well, this is some pretty heavy-handed symbolism.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
signing Jeff Jarrett just so he too can't attend Road Dogg Appreciation Night. and people say there's no war
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
jesus what did Jericho go to the hospital in the UK for, stem cells? a Dorian Gray portrait?
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@jmshapyro
Justin
4 years
very bold of WWE to advertise the Money in the Bank PPV, not just because of the outbreak but because by May, all of the banks might collapse and U.S. currency may no longer exist.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
it is both beautiful and harrowing to know that the Hot Nitro Crowds were just wandering the earth in search of a home for 20 years, like a displaced herd of woolly mammoths
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
among other hilarities, this also clears a path for Kevin Steen to game the copyright system, Cody “and Brandi Rhodes”-style, by competing in AEW as “Kevin, Owen’s fan.”
@AEW
All Elite Wrestling
3 years
#AEW and The Owen Hart Foundation ( @owen_foundation ) Enter Into A Relationship to Honor World Renowned Wrestler Owen Hart’s Legacy To read the full release visit -
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
the 2-year anniversary to the DAY (Fiend/Demon cursed calendar)
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@jmshapyro
Justin
4 years
legends never die. RIP to the faces that ran the places
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
how did Jericho MSPaint his hair in real life this time?
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@jmshapyro
Justin
5 months
the instinct to wishcast fan fic about principled Stephanie, noble HHH, or virtuous Shane is fairy tale brain, the notion that heroes in stories about evil rich famous people aren’t the victims who expose institutional rot but better rich famous people to preserve the institution
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@jmshapyro
Justin
1 year
Ms. Hart is wearing all white and getting scissored by two boys, just like Sherri in 92
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@jmshapyro
Justin
10 months
… this is one of the most remarkable jokes in the history of this business
@RamsiestheGr8
ramsies
10 months
@TrevorDame This was so devious from the production team 😭😭😭😭
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
I thought this was another Charlotte/Becky article
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@jmshapyro
Justin
11 months
CM Punk for Wrestling Observer HOF. what makes for a more deserving WON Hall of Famer than being the main character of the newsletter for two years
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
The Rock NOT composing a tweet that says “Damn my brotha we truly had some wars up and down that road. 💪👊 Even though I did lay the smackdown on your monkey crap ass 😂 Shot of tequila 🥃 for your #legendary run 👏” is far more cold and savage than anything Ryback wrote
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@jmshapyro
Justin
4 months
Cody is saved from Rock by Stone Cold: five stars, epic, cinema, oh hell yeah, what this business is all about Cody is saved from Rock by "The Phenom" The Undertaker: bullshit, GTFO, botchamania, most disgusting promotional tactic, basically WCW
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
“the predatory tactics, quite frankly, of ‘Billionaire’ Shad, utilizing talent that we created…”
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
@wiretaup “Tell Malenko that I’m sorry, but the fact of the matter is that if Chris Benoit were in AEW, he wouldn’t be able to remember all his spots. But unlike Adam Cole, at least we know that he owned a weight machine.”
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
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@jmshapyro
Justin
1 year
HHH’s only answer to criticism or failure has ever been a long passive-aggressive promo to a captive audience that goes “people said a thing is bad, yet here I am smirking about it?” For the rest of his days, his only recourse will be announcing the return of the European Title.
@wiretaup
Wiretaup
1 year
And do what? Trade stocks? He bet his entire life on WWE. Not even wrestling, but WWE. He has a high school diploma, a god complex, and all of his successes have depended on his boss having his back. Which he no longer does.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
1 year
not since the Dudley Boys stole their Ass Cream have Chris Jericho and Christian been this thoroughly bested
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
“Maki Itoh and the Baker with a travesty of justice not seen since Judge Lance Ito acquited the butcher OJ Simpson, as Thunder Rosa gets waxed like the candlestick maker, shades of Thunder Road-a author Bruce Springsteen when he was unjustly charged with a DUI” - Mauro Ranallo
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
did anyone do this one
@TonyKhan
Tony Khan
2 years
An independent study has confirmed that much of the staunch anti-AEW online community aren’t real individuals, it’s a staff running thousands of accounts + an army of bots to signal boost them. Look closely, these aren’t real people. Who’d pay for such a *wildly* expensive thing?
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
on HHH’s infinity gauntlet, Nia Jax is the Hole Stone. from remember
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
the Tick Tock Man’s clock wife practiced a meticulous lip synch and choreography for a year and a half, all in preparation for him to stand there blandly by himself like Nathan Jones without the novelty of the male lactation
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@jmshapyro
Justin
4 years
I would never follow Ryan Satin but I have to assume he is writing something like, “is it weird that I’m actually laughing and laughing so hard right now, but also at the same time I’m in awe of the creativity and craftsmanship? 🤷‍♂️”
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@jmshapyro
Justin
4 years
as this was one of the most frightening pictures I’ve ever seen, I have to defeat it by turning it into a joke
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@jmshapyro
Justin
1 year
I run this industry.
@jmshapyro
Justin
1 year
HHH’s only answer to criticism or failure has ever been a long passive-aggressive promo to a captive audience that goes “people said a thing is bad, yet here I am smirking about it?” For the rest of his days, his only recourse will be announcing the return of the European Title.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
a chilling, completely unsettling moment for me in my life
@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
“um OKAY, epic sauce much? ending Smackdown with the return of Top Dolla as the new Smackdown GM? yeah, Triple H just DID THAT. 🤯🔥” - Ryan Satin on Friday
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@jmshapyro
Justin
4 years
The Imodium Reception™️
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@jmshapyro
Justin
4 years
shouldn't it be called an Eye Quit match
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@jmshapyro
Justin
1 year
OUT: “Finish the Story” IN: “Create Second, Worse Story”
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
say it’s “thunder in paradise, brother” or fucking die you old rotten bastard
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@jmshapyro
Justin
4 months
then. now. forever.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
I like how Aleister and Andrade are friends because they both think Zelina is cool Aleister: “the blackest demon of the midnight church … is upon the earth. atone.” Andrade: “ha ha ha, yes amigo. we are the most richest men!” both things can be true. friendship is compromise.
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
oh sure you politely pretended that Rock didn’t eliminate himself in 2000 and that Bret and Luger tied, but for ol Kofi you have to call it as a shoot
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
Thump Wifebeater vs Trump Wife Tweeter
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@jmshapyro
Justin
1 year
tomorrow night: “what’s up, boys”
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@jmshapyro
Justin
6 months
@TrevorDame go fuck yourself
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
Stone Cold’s Broken Skull Sessions: “look at that. you got the damn doppelgänger, walkin’ up, BAM! so what was the creative there, you’re under a damn curse, you’re pukin’ up the bile, what’re you THINKIN’?” Randy: “uhhhh. yeah”
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
SOCIAL PROGRESS: the accidental-head-in-crotch spot used to be for gay panic heat and now it is done for a loving, sex-positive relationship. the arc of the moral universe bends towards justice
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@jmshapyro
Justin
2 years
Jericho had the April 2000 Taka Michinoku/HHH match and the April 2000 “Jericho fake wins the title from HHH” match in the same match
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@jmshapyro
Justin
8 years
Cena SummerSlam Ass Beating Tour 2011-12: Punk 2013: Bryan 2014:Lesnar 2015: Rollins 2016: Styles 2017: Nakamura 2018: Bayley
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@jmshapyro
Justin
1 year
why did he call it Virgin Vegas and not Simp City
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@jmshapyro
Justin
3 years
UNLIKE SALMON BEING RICH IN OMEGA-3s, THIS RICH WILL BE SLAMMIN’ OMEGA FOR A 3-COUNT, ATTEMPTING TO BECOME A “CHAMPIONSHIP GOLD”FISH AND KICK THEIR FATTY ACIDS
@marcraimondi
Marc Raimondi
3 years
Mauro Ranallo, one of the top broadcasters in combat sports, is returning to pro wrestling. Ranallo, the play-by-play man for Showtime Boxing and Bellator MMA, will be on the call for the Impact Wrestling title match between champion Rich Swann and...
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Justin
1 year
Bret Hart announcing that he has contracted COVID:
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Justin
7 months
“Vince has CTE and his brain is full of all the dementia proteins that turn you evil. Shane has Fragile X. tragic but we must move forward, reflect on nothing, and treasure our memories” — free talking point for those twitter accounts named shit like FedoftheTable and DaNooYawka
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