jess white
@jessf_white
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writer jessicafwhite @hotmail .co.uk (please email rather than dm about work - i don’t check often!)
liverpool
Joined September 2016
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Pinned Tweet
thrilled that my short story ‘the rialto’ is online
@TheLondonMag
(and also available in print if preferred!) you can read it here
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girls will literally say ‘i have 3 brain cells’ and then open their laptop to write their phd thesis
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the incessant and insane categorisation of every single little feeling a human can have as entire personality model is entirely down to content-ifying our lives and the ‘branding’ that individuals build themselves. it all boils down to consumption
babe wake up new weird micro label for people to describe themselves as
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every person involved in barbie knows how to make a ✨movie ✨. not a film, not a movie, a ✨movie ✨
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why is butter and potatoes europe this hot. this is for oil and olives europe
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sorry but i’m actually howling at this picture of robert pattinson as batman on the liver building
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Mo Salah gently removing the cups from the table so that they don’t spill when it gets a bit raucous is why I would die for the man
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used this picture in an email requesting invoice payment today and it worked
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here’s a crazy thought: maybe not every experience children have, in school or out of it, has to be positioned towards grade achievements
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‘forget hot girl summer, i’m having an old lady/ feral girl/ bog witch spring!’ first of all, megan thee stallion was not talking to you
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the ‘oh you had an iced coffee for lunch? should we have a party? should we invite bella hadid’ tweet honestly altered something in my frontal lobe
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people cannot do normal things like ‘go to a museum’ or ‘have a coffee’ without turning it in to an entire lifestyle
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i want to go to an art gallery with a coat on i have to unbutton in the temperature controlled rooms and a tatty tote bag and then go and sit in their cafe with a coffee that costs £4 for some reason, and also have a cake if there’s good ones on (for example coffee and walnut)
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barbie is really, really enjoyable, but only if you divorce it from its social commentary, which was thought up a 14 year old on tumblr in 2015
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me, every single month: why do i feel like shit. why am i so bloated. why am i so upset. i have never felt like this before in my life
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she’s answered every single person who replied to this with compliments and well wishes, there will never be another nigella
To all those celebrating, Eid Mubarak! And please tell me what you’re cooking!
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remembering when i got longlisted for a writing prize and was absolutely ecstatic over it until i walked into my hospitality job and someone shouted ‘here she is, shakespeare’. humbling
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i’m really sorry to say but i have this hoover. it’s as amazing as you would expect. the ‘max’ setting could rip a tree from its roots. and it is light as a feather
girls don’t want a boyfriend girls want the $600 dyson cordless stick vacuum
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if this carries on i’m off to seafood and misery kind-of europe (scandinavia)
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i am mainly excited for the barbie film because it looks like it is a silly film that is well-made, something we as a society have lost in recent years. much like the muppets christmas carol before it, a film can be SILLY but also EXCELLENT
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i don’t know how to explain this but this does make more sense if you know that he is from the wirral. and what the wirral is like
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one eye on the met gala, one eye on nicki minaj’s timeline because we’re witnessing two car crashes at the same time
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love you, auld fella
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Have literally none of you heard of Northern Ireland
Women have the right to autonomy over their own bodies and their reproductive rights should be protected – in London, the USA, everywhere.
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Bernie Sanders’ letter to Thatcher, condemning the treatment of Irish Republican hunger strikers, 1981. (Sourced from nistagrammed on Instagram)
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a whole host of stuff (rightly) written about teenage boys being radicalised by the far-right online but not much written on the e-girlies who are inching ever closer to out-and-out fascism via a multitude of avenues
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the more i learn about sinéad o’connor, the more i realise how funny and wry she was. this has absolutely seen me off
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isn’t it mad how reusable cups were made as a eco-friendly alternative and it’s been made into a whole industry that encourages people to buy like 20 of the same thing in different colours with accessories and charms and other useless plastic tat
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i also really want to write about raya !!!! let me write about raya, publications !!!!
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you lot need to get over school sorry
all my “I can fix him” energy comes from being the quiet girl all the teachers would sit bad boys next to in class
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@greg_jenner
he’s been a real highlight - saw him say to a journalist the other day ‘you ke-matter’
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the level at which you cannot chat to me right now is astronomical
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just to clarify for the humourless that this is a rhetorical question and i do know about climate change. have been very vocal about how anxious i am about it. cheers 👍🏻
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why are you all taking this so seriously and writing dissertations in my mentions, i tweeted this because i did an instagram post about me having 3 brain cells and all of them were busy with seeing harry styles the next day and then opened my laptop to write my phd thesis
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a lack of solidarity between sectors will only reassert a capitalist, competitive work landscape, the exact thing unions are supposed to oppose. this is terrible comms.
Full page in
@guardian
today. Let’s spread the word about
#PayRestoration
for Junior Doctors
#DayTwo
#JuniorDoctorsStrike
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it’s sooo mad and brilliant and that we grew up with a drag queen from birkenhead presenting a prime time show, before giving it up to be camp and outspoken against the tories on a chat show, major radio and then a show about pet rescue
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we need a blanket ban on the “translucent flesh coloured dress with gem and crystal appliqué” style of clothes that celebrities wear for events. extremely boring and getting very dated
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i am not this girl ! this is another person ! stop writing me angry letters !
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why have i just had an email from keir starmer when i opted out of communications on the day i left labour. committing gdpr violations will not get you my vote
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i become a very different woman in john lewis. a woman concerned with shape, texture and quality with no regard for price
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why are caffè nero using the cover of yellowface in their branding, with no indication as to why
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I see the women's art account has shared this image again. That account is a bit terf-y so instead of just retweeting it for the 1000th time (I did that before looking into their anti-trans ethos) I thought I'd do a little thread on See Red, the women's collective who created it
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maybe the funniest exchange i’ve ever had with my nail tech is when she was putting these real dried flowers on individually and i said ‘you don’t need to do every nail with them if it’s dead complicated’ and she said ‘listen i don’t tell you how to read books’
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ladies let me tell you right now, you are not going to be tradcath wife with land and eight children because you are addicted to validation from the people in your computer
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i’ve been subscribed to martin lewis’s newsletter for over two years and my mum is an avid follower. he’s saved us literally hundreds of pounds. he has never once posed himself as an overthrower of the government, just someone genuinely invested in the average person
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book bloggers who post 20+ book reading wrap ups every month saying they ‘don’t know enough to comment’ on a conflict that has been going on for their entire lives…baby swap out one of those fairy porn arcs for an informative book that will take you a day to read
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got a confession 2 make…for the last 6 weeks i’ve been doing my big food shop in marks and spencer’s. it is the same as, sometimes cheaper than other supermarkets and infinitely better quality - i just fed myself for a week for £23
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second of all, please stop making me read another version of this tweet it’s so annoying
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sally rooney saying ‘if you don’t like the things i write about then why are you reading my books’ (paraphrasing) is just so good — she absolutely does not want to be a popular writer if people are going to wilfully misunderstand her and you have to respect it
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sally rooney talks very subtlety and in a very nuanced capacity about her protagonists’ relationship with eating, imo she isn’t perpetuating a type of character if it’s built into their relationship with their larger surroundings. they don’t accidentally have those bodies
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renewed my lease for a third year in my apartment - living along has nearly financially crippled me and i am
now 80000% weirder but it’s the best thing i’ve ever done and i know i will cherish these years when i’m old
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don’t let these thinly veiled right wing cultural conservatives tell you that your local library with brown carpets and murals of spot the dog is not a magnificent temple of learning
Libraries were once magnificent temples of learning - these are the 20 most beautiful examples on Earth 🧵
1. Admont Abbey Library, Admont, Austria 🇦🇹
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woke up to one million emails from brands wishing me a happy international womens day, just what the early russian socialist textile workers who popularised it would have wanted
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after eleven and a half years of pure joy, my best ever boy has gone to heaven. he had a mercifully short illness and passed on this afternoon. to be loved is to be changed
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lol i just remembered when i was speaking to a very posh man in work in my customer service voice and then a v scouse taxi driver came in. i spoke to him in my normal voice and the posh man went “wow! what language were you two speaking then? italian?”
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Hi! If I started an online platform for northern (English) writing, would you submit? Writers would not necessarily have to be from the north, but perhaps live there/ write about it. Northern writers do not necessarily have to write ABOUT the north.
Please feel free to RT :)
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ohhh so the reason gaga wasn’t at the met was because she was morphing into a marketing graduate girlie called chloe from crosby
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i’ve thought about this long and hard and it’s that i google why men who were acting/singing/whatever during the late 30s early 40s were not at war
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i genuinely think ‘go girl give us nothing’ changed the trajectory of dua lipa’s life and career. any live performance of hers now features several complex dance moves and energy. she saw the meme and said ‘this will not be my legacy’
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i do have quite a genuine fear that the viewpoint of “bad behaviour in characters = bad book” is becoming more prevalent
Just read a one-star review of My Brilliant Friend that accused the male characters of displaying toxic masculinity
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the real leaders of the opposition are marcus rashford and that guy who runs timpsons
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missing some flooring but finally in possession of the 1993 fairy light wonderland polly pocket, my favourite toy when i was little
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people being outraged that teachers are utilising their unions is, i think, partly because they don’t see teachers as workers they see them as childminders
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did think there were v interesting things in there about the nature and freedom of play and it was extremely well cast
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in a cafe where there is no chocolate chip ice cream left and a person said ‘i’ve driven 8 miles for this ice cream!’ to which the waitress replied ‘that’s a bit dramatic’
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@jasebyjason
if i started talking about payment for looking after a family member’s child when i was 17 my mum would have bounced me down the street. rightfully!
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if you need extra funds towards food shops, the app biscuit is a dog walking app (you don’t need to prove you have a dog 👀) that gives you 25 points for tracking your walks. points can get you a £10 asda, m&s, morrisons or tesco’s voucher
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a follow up activity: opening your book in the cafe but only reading three pages total because you’re busy people watching the tourists coming in and trying to work out if it’s table service if you need to go up to the counter
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me, a person who has made significant lifestyle changes because of their often debilitating climate anxiety, watching an influencer try on their 25 item ‘wedding guest outfit’ haul from asos
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it’s really funny when people in creative industries who haven’t worked in anything else are like ‘fancy fucking it off to open a shop/bakery/b&b’. my brother in christ you would die after one shift in the service sector
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rushdie’s attack was not ‘an attack on all writers’ it was an attack on a specific man under a specific context. stop placing oppressions on yourself that don’t exist, especially when you’re weaponising an attempted murder for your own weird, bigoted beliefs
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was talking to someone on the phone once and he said ‘z for xylophone’ and i said ‘that starts with an x, do you mean x for x-ray or z for zulu’ and he said ‘the one that xylophone starts with’
used to work at a call centre, and the substitutes ppl use when they don’t know the phonetic alphabet are so funny. why did this man say C for Czechoslovakia
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can’t believe i have thus far been denied the best photo from the farage milkshake incident, which is the queen nonchalantly throwing the empty cup at him while walking away
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this is fully the worst year in met gala history, surely? if you’re not going to follow the theme you could at least look nice
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i don’t know how you can read that lady’s album name and not have your organs fold in on themselves in embarrassment
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happy valentines to me ❤️🔥 turning 30 this year and decided that i would fulfil my dream of living alone. and now i am!
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making my
@Dazed
debut with this chic little list of queer books to look forward to in 2022 !!
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