Jake
@jakeperry97
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the young city bandit, hold myself down single handed @psychoscally
Manchester
Joined September 2015
Just in time for Christmas! I’m selling some of my Treble Winners 35mm film photos as prints. City fans I’ve got your presents sorted 🫡. Available on my Etsy: As always any shares and RT’s much appreciated 🙏
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Corona when it sees a large gathering but then realises it’s for work or school so doesn’t count
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If there were a “Sports Twitter” Hall of Fame, honoring the best sports-related tweets of all time, what would be your nominee?.
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How is Prince Harry getting more grief off UK press for stepping down than the queens son Prince Andrew did for being an actual paedophile.
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My Manifesto:. -meal deals max £3.-pints max £3.50.-malboro gold max £5.-mcr-ldn train max £20.-all footy tickets max £30.-destroy landlords.-build a shit load of council gaffs.-nationalise everything.-mp’s paid average wage.-gary neville thrown off the top of deansgate tower.
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Wearing a poppy while calling for more war is crazy.
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Will be getting a pair of these to wear to the boozer with jeans, 2004 is back baby.
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Aguero and Kompany in the champions league knockout stages.
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Has he pulled over on the hard shoulder just to lose his head 😭.
🗣️ @IanWright0 on Instagram: “The Trossard sending off, it’s f*cking foolishness what they’re getting sent off for now, but you know what really boiled me up properly? Haaland’s coward move — throwing the ball at Gabi’s head when he’s not looking. Gabi would look you in the eye.”
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this picture covers every base of what a paedophile looks like.
Boris fans waiting for his arrival in Orkney
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Hearing the youth premier league is going ahead due to a special request from Prince Andrew.
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coming to a beer garden near you this summer
💛💚🇧🇷💚💛 Brazil 1998 Reissue. Nike to release an official reproduction of this iconic shirt 👏. 📆: April 2024
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First player to snap his leg next season should automatically win the pfa player of the year.
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50+1, £20 tickets, free train travel with match tickets, let’s not stop here and take some notes from German football.
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Why's this burd actin like she's going volunteering in Ugandan villages when she's actually going fuckin magaluf for 3 month ahahaha
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Beer and a cig in a different country is one of life’s greatest pleasures.
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What an absolute fucking helmet the lad literally had a ticket and all 😭.
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them farage supporters hearing the word woke and start cheering is the human version of a dog hearing the word walk and getting excited.
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“Exploring the notion of fast food through a social and historical context” just put the fries in the bag bro.
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Dropped out of Uni of Manchester after doing too much ketamine then got given a £80k a year job in Canary Wharf by his Dad (who also owns 6 rental properties).
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they were well annoying but prison for protest is a dangerous precedent.
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One of most reliable players, goes under the radar how good he is.
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Ahhh man 2019 still kills me, we’ll never get that chance again, all so depressing.
I am standing as an independent candidate for the people of Islington North. As your MP, I will continue to be an independent voice for equality, democracy and peace. Please join our campaign at Let's prove that when we come together, we can win.
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It’s been said for the past 2 seasons but fuck me has there been a more unbearable fanbase after winning fuck all.
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Molly mae if she didn’t get on love island.
Meanwhile in Manchester…. ✅ Holiday ruined.✅Nicked.✅Fined.✅Banned from an airline.✅Gone viral making a show of urself . All in all a holiday to remember really 👏🏼
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A few digs getting thrown still doesn’t warrant a copper booting and stamping on someone’s head when they’re already tasered on the floor
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Only thing you’re knocking out is a wank you danger
@jakeperry97 It’s only funny cause I’d knock you clean out you greasy little rat hahaha.
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your bird has a folder for betting apps.
Temu this , shein that. Grow the fuck up, this is how the real ones earn money online
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what is macron doing on the pitch 😭😭😭😭 imagine england lose the next final and starmers on the pitch consoling foden hahahahaha.
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All the boys in hmp after refusing to sign up to fight a rich man’s war
Brits will be called up to fight in all-out war with Russia as military is 'too small', Army chief warns
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If we shipped 6 in a derby I would not be saying this about any of our defenders a week later.
This is what you call a Rolls Royce defender.
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These comps of proper barclaysmen with 00s banger soundtracks are giving me life.
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ryan giggs to his mrs
Ryan Giggs penned a poem to Kate Greville in response to a verse from her which included the line “every day you make me proud, because you’re well endowed”. Read Mr Giggs’ poem in full below. And the day, as it happened, here -
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This is what the yanks want to do to our beautiful game, imagine losing the Carabao cup final and you’ve got to watch wet leg at half time.
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Twitter was founded 17 years ago today. What is your favorite tweet of all time?
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one last kick to the working man before she goes to the fiery depths of hell.
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Seeing that Katie Hopkins got suspended the day before Brexit but then seeing it’s because of Rachel Riley
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“what an opportunity”
300 different world leaders gathering for one funeral in one location at a known date & time, what an opportunity.
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Anyone in Manchester still voting tory after this you are a clown.
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On our 3rd recession in under 20 years, got no chance of owning a home, sky high rents for mouldy flats, no one can afford to put the heating on, spend £100 on a train and it gets cancelled and both political parties are now pretty much the same. But yeah it’s those woke schools.
🏫Those under 26 are increasingly under the sway of cultural socialism, and not tackling it is producing a strongly Left-wing generation
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Average northern quarter bartender.
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only 6 more years of working left
BREAKING:.Pfizer Documents confirm Graphene Oxide is present in Pfizer Covid-19 Vaccines. The Inventor of Graphene Oxide (engineered as a Bioweapon) stated clearly no Human Blood could survive longer that 8 years if 1 part per Billion contained Graphene & it cannot be removed.
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they should add a feature on eBay where you can send someone who outbids you abuse.
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After slagging them off for years, moaning about how the gigs will be full of the worst cunts you can imagine and then getting ripped an outrageous amount for tickets, I’ll see you all there.
Noel and Liam Gallagher appear to have settled their differences and, if the truce holds, will play massive concerts in London and at Manchester’s Heaton Park in 2025.
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Americans when you don’t put an entire tub of Dan-Os spicy garlic chipotle seasoning in your mushy peas
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I cannot sit by and allow this Gov't destroy my industry. I'm ready to ruffle some feathers. Tomorrow the fight back begins. Enough is enough.
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6 pounds for an alcohol free beer
Manchester’s first alcohol-free bar, Love From, opens its doors over at Kampus this weekend 🍻🍷
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“Where no photos are allowed”
THE NEW ITALIAN-AMERICAN JOINT WHERE NO PHOTOS ARE ALLOWED..Think Dean Martin. Think full swing bands and jazz quartets. Think cocktails and perfectly executed dishes like Osso Buco, a proper Caesar salad made table side and calamari fritti, all served up to a swinging
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Any cyclist that buys a gopro should be put on the sex offenders register immediately after purchase.
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what was he cooking
Members of Parliament will get a 2.9% pay rise. Brings overall salary to £86,584. For more on this and other news visit
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If rodri wasn’t spanish he’d be doing a job for burnley.
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We’re incredibly close to seeing upper class uni of students start wearing T90 astros and jeans.
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spending 40 quid on sending rich people wine for a shit joke, rather than spending the 40 quid on food for a foodbank at Christmas time, is a perfect summary of liberalism.
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he’s got future nonce allegations written all over him.
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Unacceptable scenes in Bristol tonight. Thuggery and disorder by a minority will never be tolerated. Our police officers put themselves in harms way to protect us all. My thoughts this evening are with those police officers injured.
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Them lot on about flags😭
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I really hope that “your dad stockpiled toilet roll” becomes an insult at school in years to come.
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his insides must look like chernobyl reactor 4.
Good morning you lovely people, It’s Friday! We’ve made it to the end of the week. Let’s give it that last push and finish the week off on a high. I’m in the cafe before my deliveries enjoying a nice chicken casserole! Have a great day. Come on England 🏴 BOSH ❤️
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why are we even bothering to drink through soggy paper straws.
Flew from Cahokia/St Louis, Illinois, US to St Louis, Missouri, US 24 hours ago. Apx. flt. time 13 Mins.
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How can we trust a man who shipped 14 to run the country when he can’t even run his own back line! Disgrace!.
🚨 NEW: Keir Starmer spotted in goal for his Sunday League team who lost 14-8 today
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Nothing says summer tournaments like cafe chairs getting launched about, the beautiful game.
Scenes on the streets of Gelselkirchen as English, Serbian and Albanian fans clash. 😨
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Fuck me how will you survive.
While it's a nice wage, let's not forget that a wage of £300,000 means you'll only take home £170k after tax which is quite frankly disgusting.
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the voice in the back of your head before you agree to go back to a gaff
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nicking our bernardo silva song is one thing but using it for antony gordon is an actual war crime hahahaha.
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Still one of the goat vids this.
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@CathaILynch It’s not true though is it, how many musicians, artists and working class subcultures have come out of the uk. It’s true for people like him cos he lives in an area full of tory muppets.
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tory austerity killing MF DOOM I wish david cameron nothing but eternal pain and suffering.
it sounds like MF DOOM's death was accelerated by poor hospital care and a lack of NHS staffing due to COVID-19. this is a very sad read; man deserved better. RIP to the legend
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Marx was explicit about this to be fair
This is socialism.
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Mythos Leeds, might be the best Greek scran I’ve had in the country
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Lot of debate on who should be in the last point. New policy is the country gets to vote 1 celeb/influencer a year to be swiftly dealt with 👍.
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how miserable do you have to be to be against more paid days off work.
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It’s mad some scrote from Stockport is the best footballer in the world.
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We’re that close to the World Cup now you can almost hear the lads at the pub in ripped skinny jeans and mcqueens trying to tell you mason mount is a good player.
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That little sprint stepover thing Walker does every time he goes near over the ball hahahaha just fuck off mate.
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Saw him stood on his seat giving it beans before we scored hahahahaha fucking daft zionist prick.
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“Life peaked”
Produced one of England’s best ever moments yet still underrated af somehow .
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Manchester when it comes to opening annoying gimmick bars with overpriced drinks
A Californian surf & skate-inspired bar has just opened in NQ. 🌊🏄♂️. Get your knackered pair of Vans and your long, flowing surf hair ready… the NQ has a new bar inspired by the halcyon days of skating and surfing.
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your old fella in the pub when he sees they’ve got “hazy pale ale” on draft.
Society is fucked aint it. The generation born after 2000 are just absolute wet wipes. 17 Genders, offended by everything, everythings racist, no manners or respect on them, they all stab each other, now every football clubs got some tart flashing their gash in a club shirt ffs.
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