Happy pride to the 3 guys from Saint Joe’s I used to hook up with behind their girlfriends’ backs who are now married/engaged to those same women they were cheating on
Hugo and I got these delicious Chinese burgers on the recommendation of
@NotABigJerk
, whom we speak of as if she were a close friend or a cherished cousin and not simply someone we both follow on Twitter
If you’re upset by this please know I mean this 100% seriously and actually constructed this tweet to attack you, the person reading this, individually
Partly this is people not knowing how to pirate but it's also almost definitely a polite way for someone to say they have no interest in watching what you recommended
when u recommend a tv show to someone and they say "oh i don't have disney+ (or whatever streaming site it's on)" like oh my god... is the art of piracy really that lost or are people just stupid
Chris Rock and Jada Pinkett Smith embroiled in drama? Jessica Chastain and Hans Zimmer winning awards? What a night for the cast and crew of Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted!
Tried to tell my mom how I wasn't cut out for having a job and she said "oh you mean THIS job that you have right now?" and I had to explain to her how I am a lazy, beautiful idiot who both cannot handle and does not want ANY job
Sent my parents my final capstone paper, the culmination of my undergraduate political science career, and all my mom responds with is "thanks for sharing" like it's a BuzzFeed article about a funny Kelly Clarkson interview on Ellen
I got the elevator with a woman. I pressed floor 6, as she simultaneously pressed floor 9. We locked eyes and then went back to looking at our phones. This is the most profound interaction I’ve ever had with another person
Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again is, without a doubt, the finest movie ever made. I experienced the entire range of human emotions and have never thoroughly enjoyed a FILM more
Feeling overwhelmed with gratitude toward Joe Biden for making this sacrifice. His incredible presidency has surely been the best of my lifetime and one of the greatest in history. His achievements in office will make the country a better place for decades to come. What a legacy.
I’m like... drunk but I’m literally so fucking giggly over the fact that I just like.... live in Paris???? This place I’ve been dreaming of since I was a little kid and I just??? Have an apartment here? I take the metro and buy wine and baguettes??? It honestly doesn’t feel real
One time on a date a guy said: “you don’t have to act dumb around me to get me to like you, I know you’re smart”
This was upsetting because, though I have played dumb for men before, I actually wasn’t doing it that time
Due to the fact that I had six vodka mixed drinks last night and made it to work early and with no hangover, I’m definitely a Catholic again because only a God who knows the Irish intimately would allow that to happen
I will literally never stop thinking about the one time when a guy complimented my shirt at the bar and so I, naturally, went "thanks! I got it on sale" and he just looked me in the eyes and said "I didn't ask"
Since I got my visa today, thought I might make it official- I am moving to Paris in January to start a Master’s of Communications with a fashion focus at the American University of Paris!!!!! @ Paris, France
I just found out that no one in my family besides me likes orange juice and that for the 18 years I lived at home, my parents would still buy a gallon of orange juice every week that I apparently drank alone
Life is full of highs and lows. For instance: I stood on a table and sang ABBA last night about an hour after I threw up in the bathroom sink at the bar
I'm enjoying the Bookforum review of Lauren Oyler's book probably a little too much for someone who heard of Lauren Oyler from the aforementioned Bookforum review
Having an intelligent guy over for the first time and having to lay out all the "books" that I've been "reading" over the past few months so that he doesn't realize all I do in my free time is watch compilations of cringeworthy TikToks
My top two favorite conspiracy theories, ranked:
2) Avril Lavigne is dead and was replaced with a lookalike
1) Kurt Cobain was reincarnated as Zomboomafoo
Real tweet but being a sexual assault/rape survivor is fucking hard and I give endless amounts of props to anyone else who is also fighting that battle right now. I'm with you and I love you
I hadn't been to the class since March 1st and got a 52% on my final exam but still ended the class with a C!!!!! No weapon formed against me shall prosper!!! Every tongue that rises against me in judgement shall be condemned!!!!
Pros of leaving Philly: got to cry dramatically while staring out the window of a moving vehicle like I was in a music video
Cons of leaving Philly: cried in front of my dad in a Uhaul at 4:15 AM
I just saw Kirsten Gillibrand in person and I'm literally weak in the knees holy fuck I said hi and she smiled at me and I'm DEAD she's the literal reason I got into politics