David Burge
@iowahawkblog
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Please note: my recent blue checkmark represents an insatiable and pathetic greed for ad revenue only, I otherwise disavow it.
@iowahawkblog .Cats and Dogs living together, cows and horses sharing a field… I don’t know what this world is coming to.
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Apparently like some kind of weird cicada, every 45 years Indiana State gets some goofy looking mf with magical basketball powers.
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The European mind cannot comprehend that the largest European soccer stadium would be the 9th largest American college football stadium
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This is the Hiroshima of community notes.
Infamous for its starvation wages, Walmart just posted staggering first-quarter profits. The surge is a result of its strategic shift toward catering to affluent shoppers while its full-time workers continue to rely on Medicaid and food stamps.
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I've never seen such a perfect demonstration of the crab bucket mentality.
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If you kids think Bin Laden made some good points, wait'll I tell you about a vegetarian former art student with an ironic mustache whose impassioned manifesto about the Zionist oppression of his people sparked a worldwide movement.
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The Irish or Italian Olympic team has a chance to do the funniest thing ever.
BREAKING: Caitlin Clark will be left off the Team USA Women’s Basketball roster for the Summer Olympics, per @ShamsCharania.
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If you think you're having a bad day, spare a thought for the Twitter person who decided it was a good idea to ban the Babylon Bee.
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I gotta say "The Department of Homeland Security Counter-Disinformation Governance Board" is some next-level dystopian verbiage.
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Ever notice that you're more likely to be banned by Twitter for expressing an opinion held by 90% of the public than one held by 10% of the public.
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Accept the fact that you’re all poorer than Mississippi with economies based on luring us to your 12th century tourist traps, so we can call your dumb game whatever tf we want.
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Musk: Imma buy Twitter.Twitter: or no you’re not.Musk: ok then I won’t .Twitter: the hell you won’t .Musk: ok then I will.Twitter: over my dead body.
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I put on 17 masks yesterday and have now achieved immortality
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By contrast, excess food has never once been a problem under socialism.
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I hereby declare five days of helicopter jokes.
I hereby declare five days of public mourning and offer my condolences to the dear Iranian nation.
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The pilot who said "Let's Go Brandon" is a dangerous lunatic, explained the blue check person in an 80-tweet meltdown thread about it.
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I like the thing where people assume everybody working at Twitter is a computer science PhD slinging 5000 lines of code daily with stacks of job offers for Silicon Valley headhunters, and not a small army of 27-year old cat lady hall monitors.
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Never before in the history of celebrity has there been so much supply for so little demand.
Love is in the details. ✨ With Love, Meghan, a new series, premieres January 15.
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It was a surprisingly short journey from Robert E Lee to Dr Seuss.
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Fun fact: China also never reported a single death at Tiananmen Square.
U.S. reports 1,264 coronavirus deaths in over 24 hours. Meanwhile in China, where the pandemic broke out, not a single new coronavirus death was reported.
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Fun facts: . (A) calling for genocide against Jews, if not delivered to incite a mob to violence, is 100% Constitutionally protected speech- only in the sense it can't be punished by government. (B) You are not the government, you are a cowardly college administrator and in no.
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I have never seen a group of people so determined to give up chartered jets to fly Spirit Airlines again.
The cheap shots on Caitlin Clark are an embarrassment for the WNBA. This player should be suspended. Clark is the only reason I’m even watching a WNBA game right now. What a joke.
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Nothing says "anti-fascist" like guys dressed in black uniforms smashing windows and starting fires in Germany.
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FACT: it used to be 10x easier just calling for a pizza than ordering one from a website.
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My favorite part of this pandemic is people who live in population density of 25,000 per square mile scolding people who live in a population density of 25 per square mile.
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"I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling Jews".
Watch: Police removed the masks from the protesters this morning at UCLA so they can’t hide … from their parents, neighbors, or future employers. The bravado and arrogance are gone, replaced with humiliation and embarrassment.
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Get your wife on it, she's good at bringing down colleges.
Abolish the Electoral College.
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I was going to ask why he needs the hardhat, but then I noticed there's no paint on the roller.
Downtown Fredericton is looking a little brighter this morning as City crews paint the PRIDE sidewalk in front of City Hall. 🌈.This is one small step on our long road together toward a more inclusive and safe society for all!
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300 reporters now feverishly investigating Lawnmower Boy's possible links to Russia and neo-Nazis.
A presidential high-five for Frank the lawnmower boy, while hard at working trimming the grass in the Rose Garden this morning.
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Yes, English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
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People who go on cruise ships are vacationing plumbers, nurses, and mid-level office managers. People who use the term "late stage capitalism" paid $200,000 to learn terms like "late stage capitalism".
Late stage capitalism is so absurdly comical at times. This new cruise ship has: . - 23 restaurants .- 22 bars / clubs .- 7 full sized pools + 9 hot tubs.- Full waterpark .- Rock climbing wall .- Ice skating rink .- Surf simulator .- Golf course .- Basketball court.- Rooms for
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Whose head was it?.
Head held high, Kim's sister returns to North Korea
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Your password is "password".
@realDonaldTrump 3/ Get a grip man, the Russians committed a crime when they stole my emails to help get you elected President.
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House of Cards is popular in DC because they prefer being depicted as homicidal evil geniuses than overpromoted student council morons.
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If Net Neutrality is repealed:.● the internet will cost $879.95 per day.● Millions will lose their lives.● Displaced internet hobos will aimlessly ride freightcars around the barren American wasteland.● Stealing pies from our window sills. Please retweet and save our pies.
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"popular" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.
BREAKING: Popular Left-Wing Political Commentator, Jennifer Rubin announces that she is leaving X and plans to no longer communicate on the app.
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Hey remember like 5 years ago when colleges were building safe spaces full of fainting couches and trauma counselors in case a student saw somebody wearing a sombrero at a Halloween party? Good times.
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I don't automatically trust people just because they wear white lab coats, but then again I don't automatically trust people just because they're drug addicts who drive around Central Park with disembodied bear heads in their trunk.
RFK JR: “Trusting the experts is not a feature of science. It’s not a feature of democracy. It’s a feature of religion and totalitarianism.”.
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Imagine not having a job and wasting your whole day playing Red Rover for Hamas.
I can't imagine wanting to go to work at @citi this badly. Get a coffee dude. Listen to the scientists. #summerofheat
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Editor. Of the Harvard. Law. Review.
More on Ibrahim Bharmal, EDITOR of the Harvard Law Review at @Harvard_Law & @Kennedy_School. See him physically and verbally assault an Israeli student during an anti-Israel protest on campus. Read his NEW Canary Mission Profile:
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Journalism is about covering important stories. With a pillow, until they stop moving.
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I support NFL players’ right to take a knee, and NFL fans’ right to take a walk.
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What makes this extra amusing is that the "Rangers" are Pyramid Lake Paiute Tribal Police, and the backed up traffic is for Burning Man. Native American cops busting up a standoff between two tribes of white progressives is straight up comedy gold.
Words fail. Words utterly fail. Today a police truck PLOWED INTO a peaceful climate blockade. These are the people “entrusted” to keep us safe. These are the people we have granted a monopoly on the use of force. How is this ok?.
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Oregon fans thinking they can challenge the fucking Midwest to drinking is the worst mistake since Pearl Harbor.
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Wacky college fads thru the years:. 1930s: swallowing goldfish .1950s: panty raids and stuffing phone booths.1970s: streaking.2020s: Nuremberg-style pro-Holocaust pep rallies.
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Let's face it, there's a crazy maniac in the White House, so my best advice to Iran is airlift us $150 billion in unmarked bills in hopes it'll calm him down.
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Few of us will ever forget where we were when we heard about it.
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Trump makes stupid tweet.NFL overreacts, loses half its fans.NFL panics, overcorrects, loses remaining fans.Trump restarts the USFL.
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"Whoa there Boss, I only said I would be willing to take a bullet, nobody in Secret Service HR said anything about going up on a slopey roof".
Secret Service Director Kim Cheatle, on why they weren't stationed on the roof where the assassin fired from: "That building in particular has a sloped roof at its highest point. And so, you know, there's a safety factor that would be considered there that we wouldn't want to put.
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One cannot help be reminded of Hitler and his ruthless reign of smaller government.
Javier Milei continues his fascist rampage in Argentina. He has authorised the Privatising of all remaining State owned industries (thats his donors cashing in). He has also authorised the sale of all Social Housing and removed all rent controls. It is going exactly as expected
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You own like 12 houses between the 4 of you, so I understand the dilemma
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I guess false accusations of an election stolen with ballot fraud undermine our democracy, kinda like how false accusations of an election stolen by Russian Facebook memes undermine our democracy, but hey whaddaya gonna do.
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I honestly would be more receptive to the notion that Trump is an eerie harbinger of 1933 Germany if the people making that analogy weren't hunky-dory with Jew checkpoints at UCLA and Columbia.
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A lot of universities probably spend too much money on football, but I think Harvard should spend more money on football and less on pro-Holocaust glee clubs.
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Congratulations on your robbery, I guess.
High praise for a K-9 officer at Dallas Love Field Airport after more than $100,000 was found in a passenger's luggage.
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Much like Lori Laughlin's daughter qualified for USC.
New: Bloomberg qualifies for tomorrow night's NBC News Democratic debate. The debate lineup:.- Joe Biden.- Michael Bloomberg.- Pete Buttigieg.- Amy Klobuchar.- Bernie Sanders.- Elizabeth Warren.
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When a big hedge fund rides a self-fulfilling short sale bankrupting beatdown of a precarious company, it's called "creative destruction.". When Reddit shitposters do a short squeeze bankrupting beatdown of a big hedge fund, it's called "dangerous volatility.".
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Remember: when Americans wear silk dresses it's cultural appropriation, when people in other countries wear Levis it's American cultural imperialism.
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She's literally a bigger deal than their whole league, but these bitter old hags would rather kneecap her and continue flying super economy on Spirit Airlines with a $30 per diem meal allowance to play in half empty gyms
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$6 per gallon gasoline will hopefully help wean Americans from unsustainable elected idiots.
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@nowthisnews heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys heyguys.
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Once again I am asking our 4th Estate to explain how they are "from Texas".
A plane carrying more migrants from Texas arrived in the Chicago area overnight, which @ChicagosMayor Brandon Johnson calls "a very dangerous task" by Texas Gov. Greg Abbott and a matter of national security. "Governor Abbott is determined to continue to sow seeds of chaos."
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Thank god we're finally addressing the plight of America's most disadvantaged community, Harvard Law graduates.
Good news for thousands of my former students. I’m grateful on their behalf, Mr. President.
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1. Identify a respected institution. 2. kill it. 3. gut it. 4. wear its carcass as a skin suit, while demanding respect. #lefties.
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Listen up, terrorists: no how many times you blow us up, stab us, or run us over, we will never react in any way.
London will never be intimidated or defeated by terrorism.
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tfw you get utterly obliterated on your supposed area of expertise by a processed meat product product
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One of the major lessons we've all learned in the last 33 days: send your kids to a party college.
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Hear me out on this: an $8 premium version of Twitter that contains zero Harry & Meghan content.
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In Iowa saying farewell to Hawkmom. She was a force of nature; fiesty, hilarious, unencumbered by a filter, and owner of the biggest, loving-est heart on the planet. Whatever sense of humor I have was inherited from her. Reunited with Hawkdad now, making goo goo eyes again.
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The best anti-racism allegory for children ever written.
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It's obvious that the one team that really, really doesn't belong in the college football playoffs is ESPN.
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Which says more about "this town" than it does about Harvey Weinstein.
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He help pull me along my entire life. Farewell Hawkdad, the best farmer and finest human being I have ever known.
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If I'm head of Disney I'm asking why my $250 million CGI comic book movie is generating less interest than $25,000 series big jacked dude righteously beating the ever-loving shit out bad guys.
The first trailer for ‘REACHER’ Season 2 has been released. Releasing December 15 on Prime Video.
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If you think Trump says a lot of horrible things about immigrants, you should see the stuff MSNBC says about midwesterners.
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Imagine scaling 100' cliffs with 80 pounds of gear after wading through the ocean, under constant machine gun fire. Bless you Rangers. #DDay
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"I'd tap that" is locker room banter. "I grab em by the p***y and they can't do anything cuz I'm famous" is a psychopath's confession.
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Maybe you should sit this one out, Mr. Workplace Violence.
If ISIS rammed a car into a crowd this would be labeled quickly & logically. Charlottesville - call it what it is, domestic terrorism.
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Socialism is like a nude beach: sounds pretty good until you actually see it
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UN: we condemn DPRK in the strongest terms.Trump: I will fucking nuke them back to the stone age.UN: OK, maybe not in the strongest terms.
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Journalism is about covering important stories. With a pillow, until they stop moving.
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Read the room, you stupid motherfuckers.
Hamas supporters disrupted one of the most special nights in NYC - the lighting of the city’s Christmas tree. These thugs then started antagonizing police, one even stealing an officer’s hat and setting in on fire. Sickening.
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"Would calling for the extermination of Jews violate your student Code of Conduct?". "It would depend on the context.". "What fucking context could that be?". "The context of our big annual fundraising drive in Qatar.".
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Not sure I'd recommend siphoning diesel fuel or slashing a steel belted retread under 100 psi, but you're the expert Professor Tow Truck.
The convoy protest, applauded by right wing media as a "freedom protest," is an economic and security issue now. The Ambassador Bridge link constitutes 28% of annual trade movement between US and Canada. Slash the tires, empty gas tanks, arrest the drivers, and move the trucks ✔️.
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I ran a biometric face scan against the UC student registry, resulted in a positive ID of Heywood Jablomi (L) and Mike Oxlong (R).
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Hopefully the opposition research won't turn up anything bad.
Chelsea Manning, the transgender soldier who was convicted of giving classified information to WikiLeaks, has filed to run for U.S. Senate in Maryland
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It was a short drive from "defund the police" to "no cash bail" to "I blame Richard Nixon".
Over 100 people were shot in Chicago last weekend, including 18 fatally. Mayor Brandon Johnson blamed it on Richard Nixon in his press conference today. No, that is not a joke.
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Dust off the mantle, the Pulitzer Prize is on the way.
Rumors have been circulating on social media that former President Donald Trump's visit to the popular fast food chain was staged.
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Ever read something that makes you want to hunt down and murder a headline writer
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OMFG this is literally the funniest thing in the history of Twitter
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