Leslie J. Anderson
@inkhat
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Writer living beside a cemetery with three good dogs and a Roomba. Novel: The Unmothers (Quirk 2024). Poetry book: Take This To Space.
Ohio
Joined February 2009
My book is listed as one of the best horror books of the year in The New York Times!!!!.
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All hobbies require zero talent if you’re comfortable with being bad at them.
Are there any hobbies u can do that require 0 talent and are cheap.
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When pay phones were everywhere early hackers learned to imitate the tones to make calls. They were called phone phreakers and as we move into the ai version of this I urge everyone to come up with a cool name. This is the one part of future dystopia we control. Don’t fuck it up.
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And so I wake in the morning.And I step outside.And I take a deep breath and I get real high.And I scream from the top of my lungs
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@Simonjenkin @samwilkinson What do you want me to do, international pop superstar shakira? Fight a boar for a handbag?.
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@inLaurasWords @sqiouyilu The first time I saw Work Husband I was thrilled to find he was a “I don’t think Laura was done speaking” guy.
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@Karnythia Not creepy. kind of weird and beautiful. I taught a group of kids that included a little girl who was deaf and received an implant. She loved telling me all the new sounds she discovered. My favorite was that she thought cicadas were the sound the sun made until she saw one.
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I like my women like I like my coffee I forgot on a bookcase for a month and just found - colorful and thriving with their own rich and deeply bizarre inner life.
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I can now officially announce that my books and I are now represented by Eric Smith and P.S. Literary Agency!! So excited to work with them!.
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@VoicesByZane This is gross for the normal AI reasons but also because of the assumption that liberation for black Americans is a fantasy of adopting the white culture of their enslavers rather than thriving in their own.
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I don’t want a villain era. I want an NPC era. Give me a little hut by a forest so I can give travelers home baked bread and warm them of the witch who lives by the blood red oak.
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@Tine_Rass Oh that's a pyrmaid scheme. It's an MLM where they want you to buy shit and recruit people.
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I like my women like I like my coffee I forgot on a book case for a month and just found - colorful and thriving with their own rich and deeply bizarre inner life.
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@GShaneMorris As someone who has kids and loves being a mom and is thrilled I decided to - kids are not meaning. They will not insert meaning into your life. Or joy. Or hope. Or whatever. They are another human you are inviting into your home and folks who don't want them are going to be fine.
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@missmulrooney knock knock.who's there.yo-de-ley-hee.yo-de-ley-hee-who.Please, sir, there's no need to yodel.
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My body is a temple. It's full of traps and an ancient, unspeakable curse.
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@tutiasaldi @ActualAlexZ Me: I think he said "Buzz off.".My husband: Is that US or international?.Me: Uh. Jersey. Husband: He said "fuck off.".
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@saramegan In high school I tripped and fell in the hall and this cute guy caught me in like. a dip and asked if I was okay. Later, walking home from school, I found a lost dog on the side of the road and went from house to house looking for its owner and, reader, it belonged to that guy!.
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@DanaSchwartzzz I'll give you $50 more if, when someone asks "Did you know her" you answer "did any of us really?".
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@Joseph_Fasano_ “Sounds great! Let’s also put your lesson plans into it to see who is a better teacher! Does one of your students enjoy sports? Perhaps they can compete against a roomba. Then, instead of eating lunch we can shove the food into a blender. We will all learn a lot”.
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@pearlfectten My grandparents were together for over 50 years and they were miserable with each other. Pass.
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@Nicole_Cliffe Police pulling people over for surprises - ice cream or coupons or something. Get pulled over is stressful/terrifying for people. Why would you make people go through it for an ice cream?.
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God returned to his church.as a soft thing. The floors were stiff,.the gold wrought.into sharp edges,.the trees shaped .into rigor. There was no place to rest. Surely he had come.to the wrong place.
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@AlynIsMe @saramegan If it makes you feel better five years later I started my first day of teaching and had to kick out a strange man who was in my room by mistake and already part way through his lesson. He bought me a drink to apologize and 3 years later I married him.
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Microbiome . I wonder what my microbes.have named me. What are my.national parks?.Do the bacteria.take little polaroids?.Buy souvenirs?.Please.love me. I hope I am.A good home. #NPRPoetry.
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Hot girl summer is dying. Cozy girl fall struggles to be born. Now is the time of monsters.
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@saramegan Wait I have another! I joined the tech crew of the school play to help get my BFF close to the lead so he would fall in love with her. We spent the whole semester hanging out with him and then he pulled me aside to ask me to Homecoming.
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I have deleted.the DNS.that connected.the Facebook. and which.you were probably.saving.to show you know order of operations. Forgive me.I don’t know enough .about DNS.to finish this joke.
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@ikristoph @Trust_Lion_ This was my first thought too. Sometimes you just think fondly of someone and want to reach out. I’ve done that, and I’ve gone to coffee after years of silence and rekindled a friendship. It’s part of being human with new connotation technology. It’s nice.
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Hot girl summer is dying, cozy girl fall struggles to be born. Now is the time of monsters.
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@AITA_reddit This mom is 100% wearing white to their wedding and tagging all their pictures “he loved me first.”.
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@tuffshe @AITA_reddit Also, why might it take her longer? IS IT BECAUSE SHE'S IN PAIN, PROFESSOR?!.
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I know my son is getting old enough to make the first memories that will stick with him in five, ten, twenty years so sometimes I hold him really tight while he giggles and think really hard "this one. Remember this one.".
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@EricTrump Look, we all know he was trying to be mean. He used it in a mean way in front of a group of people who were most likely to be hurt by it. You can reach for context as much as you want but if it's not a mean thing to say why does he call her that? #ToBeMean.
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When I hide an ad, if one of your options isn't "fuck this brand/product" you're not going to get accurate marketing feedback.
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You only get one perfect peach per summer. You'll forget, and think that most of the peaches taste good and then you'll have one that suddenly forces every moment of sand-in-toes, sprinkler-running, tree-climbing, fire-fly evening summers into a moment of gentle sweetness.
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One of the absolute best things about social media is following someone I find highly intelligent or cool or neat and I get a glimpse of their full sink of dishes or laundry chair or unopened mail and I'm like yeah okay we're all doing fine actually.
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@FREAKATR0N Kid ran out and started dancing near the cheerleaders at a pep rally. Vice Principal ran onto the court and tackled the kid ~into~ the line of cheerleaders.
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@AITA_reddit I can't even. picture this. What does he DO while everyone else takes care of the baby? Does he just stand next to the crying infant yelling for his wife? "Honey! The baby is broken! Fix it!".
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Don’t let people convince you that you’re a drama llama when you’re actually a valid trauma llama.
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@iambrattyb UGH I had a French teacher who was like no water, no chapstick, no yawning, go outside to blow your nose, like. NO OWNING A BODY IN MY CLASSROOM!.
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Don't walk home alone when it's dark. Even a little dark. Or might be dark. Don't walk home. Or walk. Levitate. #safetytipsforladies.
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You know how the saying goes. If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck but is also a little like a beaver it's probably a platypus.
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@antoinewilson I used obvious hyperbole "loneliness is the worst thing in the world" and a gentleman raised his hand, said "what about the holocaust?" and leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head as if he had absolutely nailed it.
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@DAYGLOAYHOLE @anniebellet You can use a can opener though so I'm sure the jealousy goes both ways.
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@MaggieL @astrotoya @astro I regret to inform you that, despite my handle, I am neither ink nor a hat. I apologize to my fans.
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@beccayenser Go to the crossroads on when you see a full moon. There thee shall bury a silver spoon. From the dark shall come a gentle hiss, "lay down thy first chapter and full synopsis.". Then you jump forward and try to catch them in your net!.
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@spectator “But according to Knight’s account, he is in fact the Embodiment of the Evils of the Capitalist System.” Yeah that’s. that’s the point of the story.
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@tauriqmoosa @saladinahmed It just ads to my immersion when Tokker69420 won’t stop teabaging me.
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Hot girl summer is dying. Cozy girl fall struggles to be born. Now is the time of monsters.
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Instead of telling my poor anxiety brain “no one is mad at you” which I find hard to internalize, I’ve started telling myself “[worst boyfriend] is mad at you” and riding the delicious wave of spite to endorphin land.
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A lot of our problems today could be solved with the strategic application of bears.
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@KealanBurke @PaulaSMunier Once at a work lunch my colleague said "You know, Leslie just finished a novel" and another coworker said "Wow! I've always wanted to write" and everyone turned to her and said "Really? What do you want to write? I didn't know you wanted to write! Good for you" and I was like 🙃.
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@AlynIsMe @saramegan I'm afraid the endings are boring. I was too shy and awkward to talk to the first guy ever again, and politely turned down the star so as not to hurt my friend.
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@caphilltrish She knows she can yell about how much she loves beer and still get the job so. .
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@shadowandact @ShoMarq I was so mad that her character just. disappeared into the background once she had a partner.
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